Homecoming
by Kath7
Summary: Sweet Home Alabama Roswell-style - *Epilogue*
1. Chapter 1

[b]Title: Homecoming[/b]  
  
Authors: IslandGirls and Kath7  
  
Category: M/L, K/T  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Summary: From a challenge by Emotions23. [i]Sweet Home Alabama[/i] with a Roswellian spin. Don't worry! No real spoilers of the movie. This picks up post-Skin & Bones (basically with Nasedo's death).  
  
Author's Note: We'll be writing this one together. It may be a while between parts because of the teamwork involved, but we're doing this mainly for fun. Hopefully you'll enjoy coming along for the ride.  
  
[u]Part 1[/u]  
  
"Girl, if Sean Deveraux doesn't declare his undying love to you tonight, I'll declare it for him. That dress is hot!" Serena Taggert told her best friend.  
  
Liz looked over her shoulder and smiled back at her friend. "Serena, we don't even know for sure."  
  
"Liz." Serena paused a moment, then got up off of her bed to lean on the mirror in front of which Liz was standing. "Sean promised you a surprise. He told you to wear something elegant, he's been weird all week, and he's acting like a little kid with a secret. It's been a year since the boy started following you around like a lovesick puppy dog. I'm telling you, tonight is the night."  
  
Liz rolled her eyes, but grinned mischievously. "The night for what?"  
  
"He's going to propose. And you, my dear, will be an engaged woman by this time tomorrow night."  
  
Liz's smile faltered for a moment. "Deciding to get married takes time Rena. It took longer than this for me and-"  
  
Serena spun Liz around and clamped her hand over her mouth. "Absolutely not Liz. You will not even say his name. That was the past. This is the present. Besides, you said were over him."  
  
"I am," Liz replied. "It was a long time ago. I'm definitely over him. It's just that, sometimes, I'm afraid I'm not over the hurt."  
  
Serena nodded, hugging her friend quickly. "Listen Liz, tonight is a happy night. We won't let [i]him[/i] ruin it. There will be no mention of destiny and there will be no alien funny business in sight. Comprende?" Liz looked at the girl who had become like her sister and couldn't help but feel the excitement in the air. She smiled, nodding slightly.  
  
"Now then," Serena said, turning Liz towards the mirror. "We need to figure out how we are going to do your hair."  
  
"I was just going to pull it up in a twist."  
  
Serena clutched her hand to her heart and stumbled backwards. "Liz, if you just "pull it up in a twist, " Serena said. "I think I'll have a heart attack. I'll do it."  
  
Liz giggled. "I was hoping you'd say that."  
  
This time it was Serena who rolled [i]her[/i] eyes. "Well, what can I say? I'm a good best friend."  
  
"That you are," Liz agreed, as she settled in to let Serena fix her hair. "Thank you Rena." Serena smiled at her in the mirror and as she went to work on Liz's hair, Liz closed her eyes and thought about how she and Serena had met.  
  
Four years ago, Liz had gotten off of a subway train and stepped onto the streets of New York City. Scared, alone, and heartbroken Liz didn't know where she was going or what she was going to do. She had left the only home she'd ever known and had gone to the only other place she'd ever wanted to live. For hours Liz wandered the streets with nothing but a small suitcase. Besides a couple hundred dollars, she'd brought nothing else but a few changes of clothes and some precious mementos she couldn't do without.  
  
Crossing the street to a hotel she had meant to stay at for the night, she was almost run down by a young, impatient female in a hurry to get home. The girl jumped out of the cab to make sure Liz was okay, and ever since then Liz and Serena have been inseparable. Liz knew that if it weren't for Serena, she wouldn't have made it through the past four years. Serena had comforted her when she needed comforting, and had listened to her when she needed to talk. Liz had grown to trust Serena completely, and had confided everything to her - about her life in Roswell, her relationships with everyone there - both human and otherwise - and about her hopes for the future.  
  
"MMMMUAh!" Serena exclaimed now, blowing a kiss into the air. "Magnifique, my dear. Now, for the makeup."  
  
Twenty minutes later, Liz was dressed and sitting quietly in the living room of the apartment she shared with Serena, waiting to be picked up.  
  
"Liz, hun, tonight, your life is going to change."  
  
"How can you be so sure?" Liz asked.  
  
Serena grinned as she picked up her purse and squeezed Liz's shoulders. "I can feel it Liz. And you deserve every bit of happiness that you're going to get."  
  
Liz saw Serena out the front door on a date of her own, then sat back down to wait for her ride. She didn't have any idea where she was going but if she knew Sean, it was going to be wonderful. Her heart started to thump in anticipation at the thought that she was going to seen him soon.  
  
Sean Devereaux was one of New York's most eligible bachelors. He was the son of a business tycoon and heir to a multimillion-dollar fortune. The first time Liz met him, she was turned off, thinking he was nothing but an arrogant, spoiled, rich boy. But Sean hadn't given up easily. He had been entranced by Liz's deep brown eyes and long dark hair and had pursued her relentlessly. He had no luck until he happened upon her, on the side of the road with a car that had given up.  
  
He invited Liz into his limo to wait for a tow truck. She sat down with him and what had been anticipated as a thirty-minute wait turned into two hours. The rest, as they say, was history. Liz and Sean had been a couple ever since.  
  
Which brought them to tonight. Sean had been very secretive and her anticipation was all but driving Liz crazy. He had told her he had a surprise for her and had given her a credit card to buy something elegant and classy for the occasion. She had spent hours getting ready and now all she had left to do was wait.  
  
Hearing a soft knock on the door, Liz jumped up and took one last look at her reflection in the mirror.  
  
She was wearing a deep burgundy cocktail dress, with a low scoop neck, a fitted bodice, and a flared skirt. Serena had pulled her hair up in a bundle at the back of her head, and there were loose, curly tendrils hanging down to frame her delicate features, which had been highlighted by Serena's neutral earth toned makeup.  
  
She had never looked better. Well, except for the day she and Max...  
  
Liz scowled at her reflection, pushed the thought away. Now was certainly not the time to be thinking about [I]him[/I]. Serena was right. It was the past and Sean Deveraux was her future.  
  
Forcing a smile, Liz pumped a few sprays of her strawberry scented perfume onto her wrists, and opened the door.  
  
"Good evening Miss," the chauffeur said as he swept off his hat and handed Liz a small black box.  
  
Liz looked at the box suspiciously, but eventually pulled off the top, revealing a note, and a piece of black silk fabric.  
  
[i]Put this on, and trust Marcus to bring you to me. I'll be waiting when you get here. Love Sean.[/i]  
  
Liz sighed, smiled affectionately to herself, but tied the blindfold around her eyes and let Marcus lead her outside to a waiting limo.  
  
Despite the fact that there was a cover tied securely around her head, Liz kept her eyes closed tightly all through the car ride. She was nervously wringing her hands in her lap and she kept crossing and uncrossing her ankles. Her heart was beating quickly, and she was shaking slightly with excitement. There was a smile plastered across her features, in anticipation of the surprise she had been promised.  
  
She felt the limo pull to a stop, and the car door opened seconds later. She took the hand offered her, and let herself be led out of the car, and into what she assumed was a building. Slowly, but steadily, she followed the person leading her into an elevator, down a hallway, and into what felt like a large room.  
  
When the blindfold was finally pulled off, Liz sucked in her breath.  
  
The room, although somewhat familiar to her, had been transformed into a dazzling wonderland. It sparkled with the reflection of the bright white lights off of the glass countertops. Diamond rings in all shapes and sizes had been laid out on the glass shelves, and the lights reflected off crystal stones in every color imaginable. The familiar blue boxes in different sizes were placed at intervals in between the precious gems. The mirrored walls reflected the light and colors from every crevice, and in the reflection staring back at her, Elizabeth Evans saw something she had never thought she'd see again.  
  
She saw the reflection of a woman in love.  
  
Seeing a flash of movement out of the corner of her eye, Liz turned to see the blue eyes she had come to adore staring back at her. When he dropped to one knee, her hand flew to her mouth to choke back a sob.  
  
"Elizabeth Evans, will you marry me?"  
  
Liz was surprised, to say the least.  
  
"Liz?" Sean asked gently. "Are you going to answer me?"  
  
Her eyes full of tears, Liz realized that this was why she was in New York. To start a new life. To make a new beginning, new memories. She smiled through her tears and nodded her head emphatically.  
  
"Yes, yes, I'll marry you," she said.  
  
Sean stood up and took Liz in his arms, twirling her through the air, a laugh erupting from deep inside him. He set her back on her feet, kissed her, and turned her towards the jewelry counters. "Pick one. Any one you want."  
  
Liz was taken aback as she let Sean lead her to counter after counter of glistening diamonds.  
  
Finally, Liz settled on an one carat, simple marquis cut diamond. The next few hours were spent celebrating her engagement. They went to Liz's favorite restaurant, then dancing, and finally decided to call it a night. The entire evening was purely magical.  
  
"Serena!" Liz hollered as she walked in the door of the apartment. She took the wrap from around her shoulders and hung it on the hook beside the door, throwing her keys and her purse onto the table. Checking the living room, and finding it empty, she ran down the hallway and threw open Serena's bedroom door.  
  
"Rena! Wake up! C'mon, get up!" Liz hollered, jumping on Serena's bed and pulling the covers from her friend's face.  
  
"Liz! It's three in the morning!" Serena moaned groggily, doing her best to hide her eyes from the light.  
  
"I know, but c'mon, Serena! You were right! I'm getting married!"  
  
Serena sat straight up in bed and tried to rub the sleep from her eyes. "You're what?"  
  
Liz flung her hand out and squealed in excitement when Serena grabbed her hand and yelped.  
  
"Oh my gosh! Liz!" Serena exclaimed, hugging her quickly. "We have so much to do."  
  
"Yeah," Liz said, her voice turning serious. "But first, I have to book a flight to go back to Roswell. Sean doesn't want to wait long."  
  
"Sooooo?" Serena questioned, her eyes narrowing. "What's in Roswell?"  
  
Liz looked Serena in the eye. "Not what, [I]who[/I]. My husband is who. I'm getting married. But first, I have to get a divorce." 


	2. Chapter 2

[u]Part 2[/u]  
  
[I]Roswell, New Mexico - Two Days Later[/I]  
  
"Max? Max, I know you're in here! Will you please answer me?"  
  
Tess Harding marched down the steps into the UFO Center, stopped abruptly as she reached the bottom, Max still nowhere in sight. She set her hands on her slender hips and looked around the large area, a frown marring her pretty face. "Max! Where are you?"  
  
"I'm up here!"  
  
Tess turned her head toward the muffled sound of Max Evans's voice. She narrowed her eyes, tilted her head back and felt her mouth fall open at the sight that greeted her. Max was up in the rafters of the building, almost completely covered by a gigantic, deflated alien balloon. Tess rolled her eyes. "What are you doing up there? Maria said she guessed that you might actually be contemplating suicide, but I thought she was kidding!" She could feel her heart beating rapidly as she watched Max's feet - the only part of him that was at all visible - inching their way along the causeway above.  
  
She grimaced and flinched as an abrupt movement seemed to herald Max's impending doom. Tess jumped as the balloon began to inflate abruptly and then floated down gently so that it hung from the rafters by a thin rope. She glared up at Max, whose calm face had suddenly popped into view with the descent of the balloon. "Get down from there! Are you crazy?"  
  
"Someone has to do these things," Max replied, inching his way back to the ladder Tess now noticed was leaning against the wall far to their right. "I can't exactly ask my employees to risk their necks Tess. I don't have enough insurance."  
  
"Right. Because a giant alien balloon is [I]really[/I] necessary," Tess complained as she strode towards the spot where Max would momentarily alight. "Are you sure this isn't some death wish after all?"  
  
Max turned from the ladder, rubbed his hands together thoughtfully and then frowned slightly. "It's really dusty up there. I think I better go back up with a broom."  
  
"Don't move buster!" Tess exclaimed, grabbing him by the arm. "You - high places. No more today."  
  
Max eyed her, one eyebrow raised. It was only then that she noticed his twinkling eyes. "Why Tess, one might actually think you were [I]worried[/I] about me!"  
  
She slapped him lightly with the newspaper that she had pulled out of her large handbag. "I shouldn't be when this is what I get up to this morning?" Tess held up the front page of [I]The Roswell Daily Record[/I] and watched Max carefully as he nonchalantly read the headline. When his face remained expressionless, Tess knew for certain that he had already seen it. He had been practicing that stone face for hours. Tess just [I]knew[/I] it.  
  
"So, this isn't affecting you at all, huh?" She demanded when the silence stretched out beyond what otherwise might have been normal.  
  
Max tilted his head. "It should?"  
  
"I would think that the fact that your ex-wife is apparently engaged to someone else might be expected to affect you, yes," Tess replied, feeling like she was talking to a three year old.  
  
He had already turned around by the time she was finished speaking, carefully avoiding her eyes. He headed towards the admissions desk, started fiddling with the cash register before he finally looked up and said, "Well, I can't say that I'm surprised. I knew she was dating him. It was bound to happen sometime."  
  
"Max!"  
  
"Tess!" He retorted, grinning slightly. Tess was not fooled though. She had seen the flash of pain in his eyes before he had quickly lowered them again.  
  
"Max, please, you can't lie to me about this. I know you're hurting. Talk to me."  
  
He raised his head abruptly, his eyes flashing. "You don't know anything about me and Liz Tess. You never did. Which is probably why you don't see that you're the last person I can talk to about this."  
  
She took an involuntary step backward, felt her heart plummet into her shoes. "Whoa. Where did [I]that[/I] come from?"  
  
Max sighed, moved around from behind the counter, his hand outstretched. "I'm sorry. Really." She could tell that he was. While he hadn't seemed at all upset by the headline, he clearly was by the fact that he had snapped at her. Typical Max. She wasn't even really upset though. At least, for once, he had let what he was truly feelings out. She just hadn't known that Max still blamed her for what had happened with Liz. Even though she knew that intellectually [I]he[/I] knew that none of it had been her fault, somewhere within him, he still held her responsible.  
  
It didn't upset her. Really. Because she blamed herself too. And the absolute worst part of it all was that she had never done anything to fix it. She had always been a coward. She knew it. [I]He[/I] knew it. He had always just been too polite to say so.  
  
They both knew that she could have fixed this years ago. But she had been frightened and so she hadn't. Because the fear that had always existed within her that Liz Parker would take her place in his life.she had never been able to see past it enough to do what she knew in her heart was right. She had convinced herself that soon she would go to New York and set everything straight, that she would make Liz come back, would make her return and clean up the mess she had left behind when she had run off.  
  
But tomorrow had always seemed soon enough. Tess had had her own life to straighten out before she could start dealing with Max and Liz's. Once again she had put herself first and now her best friend had lost any chance of ever being with the only person he had ever - would ever - love forever.  
  
Tess felt a lump enter her throat as she turned the newspaper and gazed at the headline again. Tears filled her eyes, her heart ready to weep for Max, even if he wouldn't do it for himself.  
  
[I]Local Success Story to Marry Wall Street Wizard's Heir[/I]  
  
"Max, how can she do this to you?" Tess demanded, swiping angrily at her eyes. "How?"  
  
"She's not doing anything to me Tess," Max replied quietly, moving back behind the counter and pulling out a box of tissues. He used one to gently wipe the tears off her cheeks. "I did it to myself. I could have told her the truth but I chickened out. What else was Liz supposed to do? She had to get on with her life."  
  
"But Max, it's not too late!" Tess exclaimed, taking his hand and pressing it firmly. "You can still go there! You can still stop her. Until she says [I]I do[/I], you still have a chance."  
  
He had to fix this. He just [I]had[/I] to. Because if he didn't, she was never going to be able to live with herself. She would never be able to forgive herself that while she was having every single one of her dreams come true, all Max had ever wanted was floating completely beyond his reach.  
  
"I'm not going anywhere," Max replied firmly, turning away again and returning to the daily routine of getting the Museum ready for its first customers.  
  
"Max! If you don't go, I will! Liz has the right to know the truth."  
  
"Liz could have found out the truth anytime she wanted to," Max told her, his voice cold. "I haven't gone anywhere. Maria hasn't. Alex hasn't either. She chose to shut us all out."  
  
"Max!"  
  
Max's expression softened slightly. "Tess, you don't know Liz like I do. This is what's best for her. We never belonged together. She belongs in the world. I'll always be stuck in this small town. She left and she never looked back and she pursued the destiny that she was always meant to have."  
  
"Don't say that word!" Tess pleaded. "I [I]hate[/I] that word!"  
  
[I]Destiny[/I]. It was what had caused all this heartache in the first place. She wished sometimes that Nasedo had never told her anything about it. Because if he hadn't, she might never have returned to Roswell, might never have finally accepted that she had to face hers.  
  
Liz never would have left Roswell if it wasn't for destiny.  
  
"I know. It's not my favorite either." Max's tone was wry. "But, unfortunately, no one can run from what's meant to be Tess. You found your destiny here. So did I. Liz found hers in New York. That's just the way things are." He turned away and started to add up some receipts from the day before. "I'll talk to you later," he told her dismissively, not turning back. The fact that he was being rude only showed her once again how upset he really was and how hard he was trying to pretend he wasn't.  
  
Tess could feel tears fill her eyes again as she stared at his back. She absolutely [I]hated[/I] when Max got like this - all stoic and accepting. It was enough to make her want to force him to drink a pint of bourbon. At least when he was drunk he took matters into his own hands. Or so Kyle had told her once anyway.  
  
Well, [I]she[/I] wasn't willing to just accept it! She wasn't willing to watch her best friend throw away the woman he loved without a fight. If she had to fight for him, she would do it, if only so that she could know that she had done everything in her power to fix this.  
  
Tess didn't even try and say good-bye as she turned to leave. What Max didn't know wouldn't hurt him. At least not yet. If nothing came of trying to finally get a hold of Liz, then he would never need to know any of it.  
  
"Tess!"  
  
She jumped guiltily as Max's voice caught her before she was halfway up the stairs. She turned. "Yeah?"  
  
"Don't go to New York."  
  
"I wasn't." She began, trailed off as her eyes met his. His expression was affectionate but knowing.  
  
He really did know her too well. Damnit!  
  
"Max, please! Let me do this for you!" Tess pleaded.  
  
"Tess, it's really okay. It's not necessary."  
  
"How can it not be necessary?" She flared, suddenly angry with him. She wondered if shaking him would do any good. A good shaking always made Kyle do what she wanted him to. Well, a good bed-shaking that was. But since she wasn't prepared to rip off her clothes to convince Max to allow her to get his wife back for him, that wouldn't work.  
  
Besides, it was Liz thinking that Tess wanted to rip off her clothes for Max that had gotten them all into this mess in the first place. She almost snickered. She was clearly losing her mind. Obviously her guilt was driving her bananas on top of everything else.  
  
Yet [I]another[/I] reason she had to be allowed to fix this. Damnit! Why did he know she was planning to go to New York?  
  
What he said next though shocked her so completely though, all thoughts of guilt and anger fled instantly.  
  
"Because Liz is coming here."  
  
"What?" She demanded, dumbfounded. "You talked to her?"  
  
"No," Max said, a slight grin on his face. "But I know she is."  
  
"How?" Tess felt her eyes widen. "Did you connect with her?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
"Max!" Tess exclaimed, frustrated beyond belief again. "How do you know?" He sounded so sure. Had he convinced himself somehow that Liz would never really marry someone else? Was [I]that[/I] why he was taking this whole thing so calmly?  
  
She never expected the real reason. Not in a million years.  
  
"Because we're still married. If my wife intends to marry someone else, then she's going to have to divorce me first."  
  
Liz leaned her forehead against the cool glass of the window. Thank God for air-conditioning! She had forgotten how warm it could still be in New Mexico at this time of year. It was already early fall in New York, but the sweater she was wearing was too heavy for Roswell in October. She'd have to change when she reached the Crashdown.  
  
"It's [I]really[/I] the desert here, isn't it?"  
  
Liz moved her head, glanced at Serena, who was behind the wheel. "Do you want me to drive so you can look around?" Liz asked as she felt another rush of affection for her best friend. Liz had been so thrilled that Serena had wanted to accompany her to Roswell. She really didn't know if she would have been strong enough without her. This was going to be hard - facing everyone she had run away from four years ago. Because with every mile the car drove, Liz remembered the faces of all the people she had left behind when she had run away.  
  
It had never been just about she and Max after all. In the end, that's what she had made it. She had been forced to give up her entire life when she had left him, but she could not regret it. They had been all wrong for each other, despite all the attempts they had made to pretend otherwise.  
  
It had hurt that Maria had ended up siding with Max, but at least she had Serena now. And because she hadn't wanted to make him choose between them, Liz had made the choice for Alex herself. She hadn't talked to him since she had left either.  
  
While her parents had visited her in New York, they had understood that she didn't want to talk about anything going on in Roswell. They were still confused by exactly what had gone down between she and Max, but because they had never been thrilled by the fact that she had married so young anyway, Liz knew that deep down they had been willing to support her with whatever she had decided.  
  
She had decided to leave it all behind when she left Max. And it wasn't until this very moment that she realized how very much she had missed Maria and Alex. While she knew she had done the right thing for herself, she couldn't help but wonder if she could have somehow maintained the connection with the two of them.  
  
But, as they passed the mile marker on the highway that once upon a time she had known as the spot to turn to head for the pod chamber, she knew that there had never been any way that she could have gotten over Max while still maintaining ties in Roswell. To hear about he and Tess.It would have been impossible. And because both Maria and Alex were still lost in the alien abyss the last time she had heard, she knew that she [I]would[/I] have heard about them, if only by accident. Maria couldn't help herself sometimes and even Alex would have found it difficult to not talk about the Czechoslovakians at all.  
  
She had made the right decision.  
  
Liz ignored the fact that her eyes were scanning the horizon, hoping to catch a glimpse of the rocks where, for one precious moment, she had truly believed that all of her dreams were coming true.  
  
Dark eyes, filled with love and desire, seemed to appear in the hazy late- afternoon sky over the spot where she knew the pod chamber lay.  
  
[I] "Liz, I once told you that whether I did tomorrow or fifty years from now, my destiny is the same - it's you. It's always been you Liz. There could never be anyone else. I love you. We belong together. I know that we're too young and I know it's crazy, but I just don't see the point in waiting. I want our official life together to have started yesterday. Say you'll be my wife. Please, marry me Liz."[/I]  
  
"Liz?"  
  
Liz blinked, shook her head as Serena's voice cut through the sound of Max's soft voice.  
  
What was that? Had that been a flash? She realized that her heart was beating, hard. She felt a tremor of fear descend her spine. Suddenly she knew without a shadow of a doubt that this was not going to be anywhere as easy as she had envisioned.  
  
He was haunting her already. Just being back [I]near[/I] Roswell was bringing it all back. All of it - the joy, the pain, the highs, the lows.  
  
She realized that the car was stopped. She stared blankly at Serena.  
  
"You said you'd drive? I am kind of tired."  
  
"Oh. Right." Liz ignored the concerned look on her best friend's face as she opened her door and switched sides with her.  
  
"Liz?" Serena's quiet concern came only moments after they had pulled back onto the highway. "You don't have to do this. I can take him the papers. And I guarantee you, I will make him sign them."  
  
Liz laughed slightly. "I'm okay, really. I [I]need[/I] to do this Rena. I need to exorcise him once and for all."  
  
Serena did not look entirely convinced, but they settled into comfortable silence again as Liz followed the all too familiar highway into Roswell. 285 North. Of course. Because [I]everything[/I] had to remind her of Max.  
  
It was why she had had to leave Roswell. There was no way she ever could have survived any of it by staying here. Running into him would have been bad enough, but Max knew how to make himself scarce when he wanted to. No. It would have been the memories she wouldn't have been able to escape. She had needed to get as far away as possible.  
  
But, as she pulled the rental car to a stop in front of the Crashdown, Liz couldn't help be feel slightly sorry. This was her hometown. Good and bad memories be damned. She loved it. She grinned slightly at the blinking sign of her parent's restaurant. Could anything be more quintessentially [I]Roswell[/I] than the Crashdown?  
  
Well, except maybe the UFO Museum, she reflected wryly as she gazed across the street at Max's former place of employment.  
  
"Is this [I]really[/I] where your parents live?" Serena was asking, sounding amazed as she stared up at the space ship crashing through the front wall of the Café.  
  
"Yup," Liz nodded, grinning. "But that's not the best part. Look what's across." She was raising her hand to bring the Museum to Rena's attention when she suddenly felt her blood run cold. Later, she wondered if it had been a premonition that her past was about to smack her right in the face, no preparation allowed. Because the doors of the UFO Centre were opening as she pointed and as Liz watched in horror, she abruptly found herself staring across the street at the blonde nightmare she had hoped never to have to lay eyes on again. 


	3. Chapter 3

[u]Part 3[/u]  
  
With a perplexed look, Serena turned to look at Liz, who had stopped talking mid-sentence. She turned in her seat, and saw Liz wearing a horrified expression, mouth hanging open in a round 'O' shape, her finger hanging in mid-air.  
  
"What's the best part?" She asked curiously.  
  
Liz shook her head, and brought her hand down to the steering wheel. She gripped it so tightly, her knuckles turned white. "It's just a mirage. I'm not used to this hot weather anymore. That's all," she said to herself softly. She took a deep breath, and closed her eyes, then opened them, in an effort to make the vision crossing the street disappear.  
  
"Liz, what's wrong?" Serena asked.  
  
"I can't believe this is happening!" Serena turned to look at the UFO center, wondering what it was that had gotten Liz so upset. She scanned the area and saw nothing unusual. In fact, she saw nothing at all, except for a petite blonde girl walking across the street. Still looking up and down the main drag, Serena spoke to Liz without turning her head. "I still don't see anything unusual, just some girl-"  
  
This time, it was Serena who stopped in the middle of a thought as a realization dawned on her. They were in front of the place where Max worked. Across from the building where Liz had grown up. And the girl walking across the street was the exact image of the blonde-haired midget Liz had described so many times before.  
  
Serena turned, wide eyed, to Liz, back to the girl, and back to Liz again.  
  
"Well, don't just sit here," she whispered as if the blonde midget could hear her. "Go!"  
  
Not waiting another second, Liz turned the key in the ignition, and stepped on the gas pedal. But just as soon as the car started to move, she slammed her foot onto the brakes. The car screeched to a halt. Liz inhaled sharply, and stared out of the windshield again, her face frozen into a panicked expression.  
  
Staring back at her were equally panicked crystal blue eyes, wide with fright at having narrowly missed what could have been a fatal car accident. Taking a long breath, and exhaling deeply, Tess Harding pulled her sunglasses off of her eyes and stared back at the windshield of the bright red sedan that had almost run her over. She put her hands on her hips, and narrowed her eyes, waiting for the driver of the car to step out so she could let them have a piece of her mind.  
  
But as the door slowly opened and a familiar form stepped slowly out of the car, Tess's expression changed from one of angry excitement to one of pure disbelief. Not ten minutes earlier, she had been itching to jump on a plane and head out to New York to fix what she should have fixed years ago. Her mind had been swimming with the words she would say, words that should have been spoken so long ago, before hearts had been broken and lives had been ruined. But as she came face to face with the one person that had caused pain in the lives of everyone she loved, Tess's mind went blank.  
  
"Liz?" Tess whispered softly, almost afraid of the answer, hoping against hope that it was she, but also wishing with some part deep inside of her that it wasn't. She wasn't ready for this.  
  
Liz stepped closer to the front of the car and stood awkwardly against the bumper, shifting from foot to foot as she fought down the lump forming in her throat. "Tess," she said flatly. "Are you okay?"  
  
Tess shook her head mutely, still unsure of what to say to the person she'd had endless conversations with in her head over the past four years. Tess took a minute to look at the woman standing before her. Gone was the naïve girl who had been brought to life on a cold restaurant floor by a boy who had loved her from afar. Gone was the girl who had rushed into marriage at a young age, only to walk out on her vows as quickly as she had agreed to take them. Gone was the girl with long dark hair, and features that overflowed with youth and innocence. In her place, stood a woman with the look of experience and maturity in her deep brown eyes. Her straight hair was wavy now, but still as long and dark as it had ever been. Her skin was a bit darker, bronzed and shining from summers spent on the East Coast. She was taller, and had filled out, becoming the woman she was always meant to be.  
  
Narrowing her eyes, Tess looked closely at Liz, taking in her appearance from head to toe. Liz looked good. She had been well taken care of and she had made a good life for herself, far from the people who cared about her the most. Nowhere was there any visible sign that the person standing in the middle of the street had wreaked havoc on what had been a very tight knit group of friends when she had left them with no explanation four years ago. Tess wondered briefly if she had even felt a fraction of the hurt she had left behind.  
  
"Liz, h-how have you been?" Tess asked with forced friendliness. She was amazed that her rage at this woman should have stayed buried for so long. But, now, only moments after watching her best friend trying to hide how heartbroken he still was - even after four years - it all just wanted to burst out of her.  
  
From the corner of her eye, Liz saw Serena step out of the car and shut her door. Seeing her friend standing there, watching the two woman with curiosity gave Liz the courage she would need to make it safely through the next few minutes. She was a grown up now. The Liz Parker that had left Roswell was gone, and in her place was a strong, mature woman. She could do this. "Fine, Tess. I'm fine. You?"  
  
"I've been great," Tess said. "I was just heading over to see Maria," she said, pointing at the Crashdown. "She's managing now. She's working and we always have lunch together on Friday's," she said. Then, almost as an afterthought, she added, "The seven of us."  
  
Liz quickly counted in her mind who the seven people would be. Maria, for one, and unless something drastic had happened, she assumed Michael wouldn't be far behind. Where Maria was, Alex was, and she couldn't help but think Isabel and Kyle would be there as well. Tess made six, and that left the last spot for one person alone.  
  
Max.  
  
She could picture the seven of them sitting at the corner booth, squeezed into the benches, a couple chairs pulled up to the end, as they had done so many times before. Except this time, the picture was different. This time, instead of her being at the table at Max's side, it was Tess. And the picture in her mind was enough to make her nauseous. Liz looked down at her feet, then back up to Tess. "How is everyone?" Liz asked softly. She had wondered, over and over, during the past years, how the people who were once her best friends were getting along in life. Not once had her parents told her the news from Roswell. They had known that leaving had been painful for her, and with her best interests at heart, they decided never to tell her unless she asked. Which she had never been courageous enough to do. Part of her was scared to hear how the people she left behind were doing, but part of her had been ashamed. Ashamed to find out how they had reacted after she walked out on them all.  
  
Tess put her hand up to shield her eyes from the sun, and gave a weak smile. "Good. Despite everything, well, you know," she said, glancing sideways at Serena. "We're all fine."  
  
Liz nodded, and forced back the tears threatening to break out. She had gone over this moment time and time again on the plane. What she would say. How she would act. What she would do, when she came face to face with her past. But she hadn't expected it to be Tess she saw first. And now, she didn't know what to do.  
  
"Maria? And Alex?" Liz asked cautiously. Suddenly, she wasn't sure if staying was a good idea. Maybe she could find out how everyone was, let her parents hand Max the divorce papers and convince him to sign, and leave town before she saw anyone else. It sure would be a lot easier.  
  
"Maria's married. She and Michael got married a year ago. Alex and Isabel are planning their wedding right now. It'll be in the spring."  
  
Liz looked up, started to speak, but ended up swallowing her words instead. As Tess's hand moved slightly over her eyes, the sun caught the sparkle of a shining diamond on the third finger of her left hand. And that could only mean one thing. Tess had wasted no time. When she had gone to New York, Tess had taken her place as the woman at Max's side. Liz felt her stomach tighten, and suppressed the urge to grab her abdomen, refusing to let herself get visibly upset over someone she no longer loved. She wouldn't give Tess the satisfaction.  
  
"I've missed them," Liz said softly, her voice faltering slightly. She fidgeted with her hands, wringing her fingers together in an attempt to hide her emotions from Tess.  
  
Tess frowned slightly and shook her head. "They've missed you too, Liz. It was hard for them at first. It took them a long time to get over..well, you know."  
  
Once more, Liz felt her chest tighten. She did know. She had never bothered to pick up a phone, or write a letter, or make a visit back home to let the two people she had spent her childhood with know why she had left them behind. But she had always known deep down how much pain her leaving must have caused them. The three of them had been everything to each other at the worst of times and when she hit rock bottom, she hadn't trusted them enough to depend on them for comfort. She was scared to death that she would see one of them and that they would let her know how much they hated her. As she blinked, and kicked at a pebble on the ground, Liz was hit with another memory. Of the last time she had seen Maria.  
  
[i] "Don't Liz. You can't just run out. You love Max. Max loves you. And I know you don't give up on the people you love. Stay here Liz. Fight for him. You've fought this long for him. You can't give up now."  
  
"You're right, Maria," Liz said, throwing her hands up in the air. "I did fight for Max. I fought harder for him than I ever have for anything. And I got him. But it wasn't right, Maria. I know that now. He's not mine to fight for anymore. It's time for me to give up."  
  
"Why Liz? Huh? Because you saw something? Heard something? What? Why are you giving up now? Tell me!"  
  
"I can't Maria. But trust me, it's time for me to go. I can't go on like this. I've done nothing but fight lately. And I simply don't have anymore left in me. That's it. I have to leave. There's no other option."[/i]  
  
Maria had done her best that day to keep Liz from leaving but it had been to no avail. As soon as Maria had turned her head, Liz had run, and had yet to look back. She hasn't spoken to anyone from Roswell since.  
  
"I'm sorry," she murmured, more to herself than to anyone.  
  
Tess chose to reply anyway. "You should tell them that."  
  
Liz snapped her head up and narrowed her eyes. Tess Harding was giving her advice. How dare she! "Don't even try to-"  
  
"I won't," Tess said, interrupting Liz. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."  
  
Liz nodded and looked back to Serena. "I guess we need to go now. I have a few things I need to do."  
  
Tess took one more look at Liz and started to turn towards the Crashdown. "Liz?" She asked tentatively, turning back briefly. "They'd really love to see you," she said. "They need to see you, Liz. It would do them good."  
  
Liz turned back to the car as Tess walked away, and as a thought hit her, she whirled back around and called Tess's name. "Tess!" Liz called after the girl. She waited for Tess to turn around. "Can you not.I mean could we just keep this.."  
  
"I won't tell them you're back, Liz. It's not my place."  
  
"Thank you," Liz said reluctantly. What a hard thing for her to do. Say thank you to the one person in her life that had taken away everything she had ever wanted. But right now, Liz didn't want to face anyone. She wasn't yet prepared to face Maria or Alex. Or even Kyle, Isabel, or Michael. And she wasn't even sure she was ready to face Max. It seemed everywhere she looked she saw something that reminded her of someone from her past. And she needed time to collect herself.  
  
"Hey, I think I'll drive from here," Serena said, coming around to Liz's side of the car and prying the keys from her shaking hands.  
  
Liz nodded, and walked silently to the passenger side, opened the door, and sat down limply.  
  
Serena got in, started the car, and drove towards the motel they had passed on their way into town, so that they could get a room to stay in for the week. She glanced worriedly at Liz every minute or so, but Liz sat motionless in the passenger seat, staring straight ahead as they made their way to the outskirts of town. It seemed that everywhere she looked, she saw her memories being played out, like a movie of her past. And at every corner, she heard voices from her youth.  
  
Turning the corner near Senor Chow's, she saw a dark haired girl and an amber eyed teenage boy with eyes for no one but each other.  
  
[i] The thing about Czechoslovakians that you sorta have to factor in, is they have these incredibly soulful eyes.[/i]  
  
Passing West Roswell High, scenes from the first few days after her life had been changed by an otherworldly experience flashed through her mind in a blurry haze.  
  
[i] The Eraser Room does two things: cleans erasers and takes our innocence. Do you know what I mean by "takes our innocence," Liz? The Eraser Room has taken some of the best of us.[/i]  
  
Liz took a deep breath and closed her eyes, letting her head fall against the cool glass of the passenger side window. It was inevitable now. She was home. And as much as she wanted to, she knew she wouldn't leave Roswell again without making things right with her friends.  
  
As they drove further away from her old haunts, Liz realized one thing that she hadn't been prepared for. She thought she was stronger. She thought she could fight it.  
  
But, little by little, and as hard as she was fighting to stay out, Liz Evans was being pulled back into the alien abyss. "Liz, are you okay?" Serena asked as she pulled the car to a stop outside the motel.  
  
"They're getting married."  
  
"What? Who?" Serena asked.  
  
Liz turned in her seat and faced Serena, her eyes a swirling vortex of pain, remorse, and disbelief.  
  
"Max and Tess. They're getting married."  
  
"She told you that?" Serena asked, angrily. "She had the audacity to tell you she was marrying him?"  
  
"She didn't have to. I saw the ring. On her finger. It's almost the same exact one he gave me."  
  
"Liz, just because you saw a ring doesn't mean that it was Max who gave it to her."  
  
"Of course it does Serena. Tess came here to stake her claim to Max. She came to Roswell to retrieve what belonged to her before I even existed. She did it. She got what she came for. Max."  
  
Serena looked at her friend, and could sense the inner turmoil she was going through. "I thought you were over him," she whispered softly.  
  
"I am," Liz answered without hesitation. "I am over him." Liz said it again, as much to convince herself as to convince Serena.  
  
"Right," Serena said reluctantly. "Then the fact that he's getting married doesn't bother you all. He's moved on, you've moved on, you're happy. I mean, you're okay with it. Right?"  
  
Liz turned without answering, and opened her car door. "I'll go check us in." She put on her sunglasses, and stepped out of the car.  
  
Serena was right. She had everything. She had a great life waiting for her back in New York. There was a job that had made her rich [i]and[/i] famous. A loft apartment that would make most people jealous. A fiancé who loved her and wanted to spend his life with her.  
  
This would be a short trip. They'd stay the night, in the morning she would go talk to Maria and Alex, and then she would find Max and get him to sign the divorce papers. It shouldn't be a problem, getting his signature.  
  
Because he was getting married too.  
  
And it didn't bother her one little bit. 


	4. Chapter 4

[I]Part 4[/I]  
  
Early the next morning, Liz stared at herself in the rear-view mirror, running a brush nervously through her hair for what felt like the twelfth time in as many minutes. She wasn't sure why she cared so much what she looked like. It wasn't like it should matter what Max thought, but she wanted to look more put together than she felt. It amazed her still that something as simple as coming home could turn her back into the insecure little girl she had been when she left. This was all turning out to be much harder than she had thought it would be.  
  
Thank God she had brought Serena with her. Her best friend was helping to remind her of the new life she had made for herself in New York, that as much as she was beginning to regret cutting all of her ties to Roswell, in the end, she didn't need any of these people. All she really needed was Max's signature on the divorce papers and she could go back to the life she now belonged in. While she was going to try and make amends with Maria and Alex, if they rejected her, she would get over it.  
  
She didn't [I]need[/I] any of them anymore. She had Sean, she had Serena, she had a job she loved and lived in a city where she felt at home. No, she didn't need a history or people who had known her for her entire life. Because, in the end, they had never really known her at all. With them she had always felt insecure, unsure of herself - or at least she had after Tess appeared in Roswell to change everything. And, for Liz, Roswell and Tess were now so intermingled in her mind, she barely remembered a time when the blonde hadn't been there, haunting her.  
  
Now Tess had taken her place, likely what had been meant to be all along. She didn't even mind, couldn't hate the other woman anymore because Liz had built a new life for herself that she would not trade in a million years. In New York she knew exactly who she was and where she belonged.  
  
And, yet, Liz was still nervous. Being in Roswell, the memories were inescapable. She had forgotten in New York, after the devastation that had driven her from her hometown, that it hadn't all been bad. She knew that seeing Max again was going to affect her. He was her first love after all. He would always hold that place in her heart. In spite of everything - her love for Sean, his new life with Tess - they would always have that special bond between them. It was scary and, yet, kind of reassuring at the same time.  
  
Max had only ever tried to make her happy. He would sign the papers and he wouldn't make it difficult for her. It wasn't his style. Besides, he was bound to want their legal ties eradicated just as much as she did, what with Tess being his fiancée and all. Liz had most likely just beaten him to the punch.  
  
This thought gave Liz the courage she needed to open the car door, to walk up the front path of the small split-level in front of her (she had looked up his address in the phone book, not wanting to alert her parents to her presence in town until the dirty work was done) and to ring the doorbell.  
  
It was only then, when she forced herself to focus on what she doing, that she heard the racket coming from within the house. A dog was barking, a T.V. was blaring, a phone was ringing and.oh Lord, Liz's knees became weak at this.a baby was crying.  
  
"Just a minute!" Liz heard a voice yell from behind the door. She swallowed, recognizing it immediately as Max. Even raised in that slightly panicky way it, it still sounded exactly the same. He was really only just a few feet away. She heard the T.V. click off and heard him say something firmly to someone, likely the dog because it stopped barking. Liz forced herself to take a deep breath and bit her lip, managed to keep a business- like expression on her face.  
  
She still wasn't prepared. Because when the door opened, it was worse than she expected.  
  
Liz's eyes widened. How on Earth could he have not changed a bit? Sure, he looked older, but he was still the most beautiful thing she had ever laid eyes on. His dark hair was a bit longer, as though he hadn't recently found time to have it cut - or to use his powers on it anyway. Her heart started to beat erratically in her chest as her gaze met his. She watched in fascination as his golden eyes widened in surprise, then narrowed, as though maybe he wasn't so shocked after all. Those eyes.  
  
Damn him. They were still as soulful as ever, but now with a new maturity that made them even sexier than they had been before. And the reason for that maturity was what she found herself staring at in horrified fascination. He was holding a screaming baby in his arms, patting it lightly on the back. She almost couldn't believe it, but here was the proof right in front of her. They weren't married yet, but Max and Tess had actually made an even bigger commitment to each other than he and Liz had ever done. They had a child.  
  
For one split second, all her girlhood fantasies about him holding their own baby came flashing through her mind. She barely managed to control the tears that suddenly wanted to burst from within her.  
  
Oh why hadn't she spoken to her parents first? They could have told her this, could have prepared her.  
  
"Well, I can't say that I'm surprised to see you here." Max's wry tone made Liz snap her gaze back to his.  
  
"You're not?" Liz returned, knowing that her voice was reflecting the shock that she felt.  
  
"I do read the newspaper Liz," Max told her quietly. "I just didn't expect to see you so soon." He turned away, rubbing the baby gently on the back as it finally settled against his neck, no longer screaming as if the world was ending. Liz blinked, guessed that he meant her to follow him. They passed through a neat living room, where a dog was sprawled on the floor looking guilty, and into a sunny kitchen, where the toaster was just popping as Liz entered.  
  
"So Tess [I]didn't[/I] tell you I was in town?" Liz was surprised that the blonde had kept her word. She had been half-expecting someone - anyone - to come confront her at the hotel all last evening, but when no one had, it only reinforced to her that she had probably truly burnt all of her bridges in Roswell. It had never once crossed her mind that Tess really hadn't told anyone she was back.  
  
Max didn't answer right away, was in the process of gently laying the baby in the basket waiting for it on the kitchen table. Liz forced herself to watch, made herself examine the child more closely. Its small hands were now fisted in sleep. It was younger than Liz had first realized, maybe only a couple of months old. And it really was cute. It's long eyelashes brushed its smooth cheeks as its eyes fluttered closed and it settled into slumber. Liz still couldn't tell if it was a boy or a girl, but she was beginning to think a girl. Not that she really knew. She had no experience with babies at all. In her crowd in New York, children existed, but they weren't generally [I]seen[/I]. She knew, for example, that Sean's older brother had two, but she didn't even know their names.  
  
Liz frowned, realized for the first time that this fact was really, really weird.  
  
She forced herself to push the inane thought away as Max straightened and moved to the toaster, throwing the two pieces of toast onto a plate. He opened the fridge, took out some strawberry jam and ran it over the bread before reaching around the basket on the table to grab the Tabasco sauce sitting there. Liz smiled slightly despite herself.  
  
Well, some things apparently hadn't changed. It somehow made her feel better.  
  
"Tess knew you were here?" Max asked, ending the comfortable silence that Liz hadn't even realized it was until it was broken. She frowned slightly.  
  
"I ran into her yesterday," Liz replied, trying not to grimace at how literally true the statement was.  
  
She frowned again when Max rolled his eyes and muttered, "I'm going to kill her."  
  
"Where [I]is[/I] Tess?" Liz asked quickly, hoping against hope that the blonde would not suddenly appear in the kitchen. While she had accepted how things now stood, it didn't mean that she wanted to be confronted head-on by their happy little family. The baby was bad enough. As Liz lowered herself into a chair near the basket, she stared at it, wondered why Max had not sought her out long before, why he hadn't wanted to make sure that he and Tess were married before the little one's arrival.  
  
"Is it a boy or a girl?" She asked, knowing that she sounded stupid, but not caring. She was tired of thinking of it as an 'it'. She wanted to think of it as a person. It existed. She was going to have to accept it.  
  
"Her name is Eliza," Max said, making Liz's eyes snap up in shock.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Maria insisted."  
  
Liz stared at him, dumbfounded. "What does Maria have to do with it?"  
  
"A lot." Max suddenly grinned at her, startling Liz even more. "She is her mother after all."  
  
Liz knew her mouth was hanging open, but couldn't seem to force it shut. "You.you knew!" She finally spluttered. "Max! You knew I thought she was yours."  
  
"I did?" He asked innocently. "She's not mine Liz. She's Michael and Maria's. It's why they got married, because she was on the way." He paused, then said quietly. "They both thought they were still too young, but." He shrugged. "I guess fate made up their minds. It's my day off so I'm baby- sitting. She gets passed around a lot. We all fight over who gets to take care of her." He glanced at the clock. "Isabel should be arriving at any moment to tell me I'm doing it all wrong. But Ellie and I understand each other." He reached into the basket, gently touched Eliza. Her small hand opened in her sleep and the little girl wrapped her fingers around Max's larger one. A lump entered Liz's throat as she watched him.  
  
[I]They were too young.[/I]  
  
His earlier words sank in and she understood that he was not just talking about Michael and Maria. Liz stared at him, met his eyes as he raised them again, couldn't for the life of her figure out what he was thinking. It was strange. She had always known before, but those golden depths were shuttered against her now.  
  
"I thought.you and Tess." She knew she sounded like a fool, but couldn't seem to connect words into a coherent whole at the moment. "Since you're engaged and all."  
  
Max raised an eyebrow, looked momentarily taken aback, but replied, "Like I said, she's not mine." He sat back, started eating his toast, never taking his eyes off Liz.  
  
"You know why I'm here?" She asked as the silence stretched out between them again, no longer comfortable.  
  
"You want a divorce," Max acknowledged, after he finished chewing.  
  
"I'm engaged to a really wonderful guy."  
  
"Hmmmm," Max sounded disinterested as he threw the crusts back on his plate. Liz watched this, felt like smiling again. He had always hated eating the crusts. It had brought on one of their first fights after they were married. It annoyed her that he wasted them, being as they were so broke, any food they managed to afford was generally treated like gold. But he never would eat those damn crusts. She wondered why she found it funny now when it had irritated her so much before. "He's rich huh?"  
  
Liz blinked. It was so not what she was expecting him to say, it momentarily threw her off balance. She had expected him to say, [I]"Well, I'm glad you're happy Liz. Tess and I are both thrilled for you."[/I] or some such inanity. Because that's what the Max she remembered would have said. Well, maybe not the part about Tess. That would have been a bit like rubbing her face in it.  
  
"What does that have to do with anything?" She demanded, wondered why she felt a bit defensive.  
  
"Nothing." He wasn't smirking at her, was he? Max Evans never [I]smirked[/I]. "Good for you."  
  
"I'm not marrying him because he's rich!" Liz flared, suddenly annoyed. Why was he being so infuriating? This wasn't the Max she remembered. If she was not mistaken, he was being deliberately confrontational.  
  
"Okay." Max shrugged, started munching on his second piece of toast, apparently unconcerned. "So, you want me to sign something?"  
  
Liz started, felt a wave of relief run through her. Thank goodness. Whatever little demon he had momentarily been victim to was apparently gone. She pulled her bag forward from where it was draped across the back of her chair and pulled out the blue legal papers. She even had a pen.  
  
Standing, she moved closer to him, ignored the fact that she could now smell the clean scent of his soap. She [I]tried[/I] to ignore it anyway, but couldn't help but reflect that he still smelt exactly the same. Liz moved the plate in front of him aside, set down the papers and handed him the pen.  
  
He picked up the document, leaned back and began to scan it. Liz's eyes narrowed suspiciously as she watched his eyes move with careful precision. Somehow she just [I]knew[/I] that he was still trying to get to her. What on Earth was the matter with him? Shouldn't he want this as much as she did? He was engaged for God's sake!  
  
"So when's the wedding?" Liz asked through gritted teeth, trying to remind him that his behavior was inappropriate.  
  
Max didn't look up. "Why are you asking me? It's your wedding."  
  
Liz sighed, prayed for strength. She wondered if Max had been drinking this morning. The only other time she had found him completely beyond her comprehension was that time Kyle had gotten him drunk. But she knew that he hadn't been. He was baby-sitting and it was nine o'clock in the morning. No, this was all Max. "I meant your wedding to Tess."  
  
Max was quiet for a moment, finally looked up, then said, "What makes you think that Tess and I are getting married Liz? That's the second time you've implied it."  
  
"Max." She was suddenly inexplicably weary. "I told you I saw Tess yesterday. She was wearing an engagement ring."  
  
"And you just naturally assumed that it was [I]me[/I] she's marrying?" Max demanded.  
  
"Isn't it?" Liz snapped back.  
  
"Liz, I'm still married to you," Max replied, his voice abruptly gentle.  
  
She blinked, so surprised she didn't know what to say. For one split second, the way he looked at her.But his next words changed all that. "I'm not the kind of person who gets engaged without getting divorced first."  
  
Liz stared at him, then jumped to her feet. "Just sign the papers Max."  
  
He leaned back again, threw the pen down on the table. "I think I'd like to have my dad go over them first." He looked up at her, his dark eyes gleaming strangely.  
  
"Max!"  
  
"Liz," he returned mildly. "I think it's the least you can do. You've waited this long. What's another day?"  
  
She glared at him for a long moment, then couldn't resist asking, "If you're not engaged to Tess, than who is?"  
  
Max narrowed his eyes at her. "You really haven't spoken to anyone, have you?"  
  
Liz felt a mild flash of guilt. "I wanted to see you first," she replied lamely. "I wanted to get the hard part over with."  
  
"So it [I]is[/I] hard then?" Max snorted. "You could have fooled me."  
  
"Of course it's hard!" She knew that her voice was far too loud, but didn't care. "Do you think I wanted to come back here?"  
  
Max looked away. "I'm sure you didn't. You've built quite the life for yourself in New York." He sounded disdainful.  
  
"Not that it's any of your business but, yes, I have," Liz snapped. "I hoped that you would be happy for me."  
  
Max looked back at her, his eyes unreadable. "I am happy for you Liz. You did what you always wanted to do. You escaped the alien abyss, as you and Maria once so kindly dubbed knowing us." He picked up the papers, stood and moved towards her. Liz took an involuntary step back. She wondered if she imagined the way he momentarily looked hurt by that, but she didn't imagine the deliberate way he picked up her bag and tucked the divorce papers back into it.  
  
"What are you doing?" Liz screeched, rushing forward and grabbing the bag away from him. "You said you were going to let your dad read them!"  
  
"Don't need to," Max replied easily, casually thrusting his hands into the pockets of his worn jeans. "I'm not signing them."  
  
"[I]What?!?[/I]" Liz wondered if she had ever felt so outraged before. She was almost positive she hadn't. "Why not?"  
  
There was a long pause, then Max said carefully, repeating his earlier words, "So your fiancé is rich huh?"  
  
Liz stared at him in disbelief. "You want me to pay you off?" Her mouth fell open for the second time in the past half an hour. What on Earth had happened to Max Evans since she had left here?  
  
"You make it sound so mercenary Liz." He grinned at her, only maddening her more. "It's not like he'll miss it and I could use the money." He paused. "There haven't been many tourists this year and the UFO Center is suffering," he elaborated. "Let's just say that a silent investor would be [I]really[/I] helpful right about now."  
  
"You still work at the Museum?" Liz demanded in disbelief. "But you went to college Max!"  
  
"You make it sound like a death sentence." Max shook his head, sounding disgusted with her, even though [I]he[/I] was the one blackmailing her. "You really couldn't wait to get out of this town, could you?"  
  
"If this is how you turned out, I'm really glad I did," Liz shot back. "You've changed Max and not for the better!"  
  
"Ditto." He still didn't seem particularly upset though as he continued, "Liz, a settlement when a marriage ends is not unnatural. I just want what's coming to me."  
  
"It's not [I]my[/I] money you want," Liz reminded him, still completely disbelieving that he would have the gall to ask such a thing of her. "I'll give you some of my money if that's what you really want. I have lots," she elaborated, wanting to make him feel worse. She knew it was wrong, knew that she shouldn't feel smug that she was a far greater success than he, but he deserved it, the jerk.  
  
"It's not," Max told her firmly, apparently not upset. Her anger increased.  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Because I don't think your fiancé even knows I exist and I don't think that's fair," Max told her, shaking his head in mock concern. "This way I [I]know[/I] you'll have to tell him."  
  
Liz could feel her blood literally boiling. "It's none of your business [I]what[/I] he knows!" She shrieked, so loudly the baby started to cry. She felt instant remorse but it was too late to take it back.  
  
Max sighed, moved to pick up Eliza. "Now look what you've done," he reprimanded her. "And all because I just asked for my due." He grinned at her again, but it faded as the baby started to screech louder, as though sensing his strange mood. "You should just leave Liz and think about what I've asked for. I don't think it's much, compared with your complete liberation from me."  
  
"I'm going, but don't think I won't be back! And don't think it will be with money," Liz snapped, no longer sorry. Let Max deal with a screaming baby. God was punishing him, and rightfully too!  
  
With that, she stormed out of the house. 


	5. Chapter 5

[u]Part 5[/u]  
  
Slamming the car door for the fourth time in ten minutes, Liz turned around, took a deep breath, and started up the walkway to the front door of the quaint, modest two story home. She'd made up - then changed - her mind three different times about ringing the doorbell. The second time she'd even had her finger on the little glowing button, but at the last minute had turned and run down the driveway, practically jumping in the driver's side window without bothering to open the door.  
  
"This is it, Liz," she said to herself forcefully. "It's now or never. No more room to change your mind." Taking a deep breath, Liz started up the walkway.  
  
Taking a look around, she noticed that the surroundings hadn't changed that much. The oak tree with the tire swing where she got her first broken bone was still in the front yard. The cement slab in the sidewalk where she, Alex, and Maria had left their hand-prints in the sixth grade still lay at the bottom of the porch steps. And just visible above the roof was the top of the old oak tree where she'd had her first camp-out. It had been the summer after they saw E.T. and the three of them had been fascinated. They wanted to ride floating bicycles and see glowing fingers first hand. Liz had convinced Maria they could find their own aliens and Alex had come along for the fun.  
  
[i] "Here, put some more over there," Alex said, handing the bag of Reese's pieces to Maria.  
  
"What if no one comes? What if the aliens' don't see them?" Maria asked.  
  
"They're like bait," Liz said. "You know, when you fish. They'll like smell them or something, then they'll come for them, and we'll kidnap him."  
  
"But what if no alien comes? What if they don't smell them?" Maria asked, wide-eyed.  
  
"Well, then," Alex said, putting one arm around Maria's shoulder, and the other around Liz's. "We'll always have each other."[/i]  
  
Liz chuckled to herself as the memory came and went. They never got their floating bicycles. And they hadn't always had each other.  
  
But they had definitely gotten their aliens.  
  
Shaking her head slightly, and regaining her composure, she settled back to the task at hand.  
  
When she had come home from Max's Liz had been furious. Her eyes were red and her face tear-streaked and her hair was a tangled mess from having driven with the windows down in an effort to dry her face. She'd stomped into the hotel room, grumbling under her breath, and had only calmed down when Serena threatened to throw her into the bathtub under a freezing cold shower.  
  
While she had been angry at Max, she'd been even more mad at herself for letting him get to her. She'd had herself convinced that talking to Max was going to be easy. She'd misconceived the feelings and anxiety she'd felt before going to see the man to whom she was still married. And, as a result, she had come out of his home with a barrage of feelings welling up inside her. He'd pushed all the right buttons and had succeeded in making what should have been an in and out meeting into something much more complicated. As a result, Liz's emotions had hit the roof the minute she was out of Max's sight.  
  
She'd walked around the corner from his house, gotten into her car, and had laid her head over the steering wheel, crying for several minutes. When the blurriness subsided, she started the car and drove to the hotel. The entire ride was spent replaying her meeting with Max over and over in her mind. It was only then that she thought of things she should have said. Once she got there, she cried again, this time because she was angry that she'd let herself cry over Max in the first place.  
  
She'd gone in and Serena had cornered her, making her spill the whole story. Only after a long heart to heart with her best friend had Liz started to feel better. Then Serena had headed out to the pool and Liz had looked up Alex and Maria's addresses and headed out to see her former best friends. She was a bit surprised to see that Alex still lived at home.  
  
This time though, she was fully prepared. There were no misconceptions. She knew without a doubt that this wasn't going to be easy. She'd deserted Alex and Maria. They'd been the two people she knew and loved the most in her life until Max came around. They knew her better than her parents. The three of them had been through some of life's greatest joys and some of its most painful sorrows together. They'd formed a unique bond that they had promised each other would always be strong. But Liz had broken her promise when she'd left Roswell. She'd deserted the two people in the world who had been firmly by her side since elementary school. And she knew there would definitely be tears and pain at this meeting.  
  
Reaching the top step yet again, Liz held out her finger to the glowing button of the doorbell, and only let herself hesitate a minute before pressing the button firmly. She'd gone to Alex's first, since she already knew where he was living. She stood, shifting her weight from side to side, waiting for him to answer his door.  
  
After what seemed like an eternity, Liz reached out and rang the doorbell again. This time, she heard a slight thump from somewhere in the house, and the unmistakable sound of footsteps coming towards the door. She plastered a smile on her face, and waited for the door to be answered.  
  
"What's wrong, Isabel, did you forget.."  
  
Liz watched as Alex trailed off, mid-sentence, his eyes a mixture of shock, surprise and, then, confusion. She waited for him to say something, but when he just stood there, Liz tried to think of something to say to the person she had called her best friend for most of her life.  
  
The only thing that came out was, "Hi Alex."  
  
Alex shook his head, blinked his eyes and continued to stare at her.  
  
Liz offered a shaky smile, but it quickly faded when the disbelieving look didn't leave Alex's face.  
  
"Alex, it's me, Liz."  
  
"I know perfectly well who you are."  
  
Liz bit her lip and looked down at her feet. She stared at the ground as Alex looked at her.  
  
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come," she finally said, after the silence had become painful. She made a move to turn back towards the street.  
  
"Do you want to come in?"  
  
Liz took a deep breath, and turned around just as Alex stepped aside wordlessly so she could enter. Slowly Liz walked back to the door and stepped inside the home that had once been like her own.  
  
"I got in yesterday. I'll be here for a few days," Liz said.  
  
Alex nodded, continuing to study Liz carefully.  
  
"I just, I mean, I wanted to come by here. I needed to see you. And Maria. I want to apologize."  
  
"You talked to Maria?" Alex asked.  
  
Liz shook her head. "Not yet."  
  
"She should be here for this. I'll call her."  
  
Alex walked into the next room, where Liz knew there was a telephone hanging on the kitchen wall. She walked in to the living room and set her purse on the end table. She looked around as she heard Alex's hushed voice wafting through the silent house.  
  
Liz walked to the mantel, and looked at the pictures gathered there. The first one she recognized. It was a picture of she, Alex, and Maria taken the summer before tenth grade. It was the next year their lives had been changed forever. The next was one of Isabel and Alex, standing outside the Crashdown with smiles on their faces and their arms around each other. She saw pictures of Alex's family, and more of he and Isabel. When she got to the last frame, she reached out and touched it gingerly. It was a framed picture taken at Maria and Michael's wedding. Maria was standing in the middle of the photo, her head thrown back in laughter, her finger pointing to her slightly bulging belly. Michael was standing next to her, his hand on Maria's tummy, a smirk on his face. Alex was on the other side, a surprised look on his face, and Isabel and Tess standing behind her, each of them with their mouths open, having been in the midst of saying something. Off to the right, Kyle and Max were watching with grins as their friends focused on Maria's belly. Liz dropped her finger and sighed sadly. She had missed out on so much with her friends. These were moments she'd never get back.  
  
"It was at the reception. Maria felt Eliza move for the first time and we were all around to see her reaction. Your dad took the picture."  
  
Liz turned around and saw Alex leaning against the door-frame, watching her intently.  
  
Her parents hadn't told her that they kept in touch with her friends. It never crossed her mind that they would see her friends regularly, but now she wondered why it hadn't. After all, they were friends with Amy Deluca, The Evans' and Sheriff Valenti.  
  
"You all look very happy," Liz said.  
  
"You should have been there Liz."  
  
Liz looked up at Alex as she felt the tears rush to the surface. "I know. I'm sorry, Alex, I just-"  
  
Alex held up a hand and motioned for Liz to stop. "Maria's coming. She should hear what you have to say."  
  
Liz nodded quietly and walked to the couch, sitting down to wait for Maria's arrival. Alex left the room, making Liz flinch. Apparently he couldn't even stand to make casual conversation with her.  
  
Ten minutes later, when Liz heard a car door slam and a key being inserted into the door, she stood up as Alex walked in from the next room.  
  
"Alex Whitman! What is the deal? Being all secretive and stuff? It better be good to call me out and not tell my why I'm coming over here. And who's car is that in the driveway? You didn't tell me you were getting a new one. Alex! Where are-"  
  
Maria stopped short as she walked into the living room and saw Liz standing near the fireplace. Her mouth fell open. It only took her a moment to regain her composure however. "This is a joke, right?" She demanded, her eyes narrowed. Liz could feel her heart pounding the tattoo of impending doom in her chest.  
  
They were not going to forgive her. While she had pretended to accept it, had pretended she was ready, the fact that she was now actually experiencing rejection from Alex and Maria.She wanted to cry.  
  
"Afraid not, she's here. In the flesh." Alex sounded annoyed.  
  
"So what," Maria said, throwing her purse and keys onto the arm-chair to the right. "Finally figure we were worth talking to? You know, being all famous and stuff. Finally decide to come down and talk to us middle-class schlubs?" Maria inquired sharply.  
  
"Maria," Alex warned softly.  
  
"Don't Maria me, mister! She left us!" Maria reminded him angrily, pointing at her former best friend. "When she left Max, she left us all. Me and you included. No card, no letter, no phone call. She deserted the people who loved her most!"  
  
"She came to apologize," Alex said.  
  
"Well, it's too little too late Liz. We've moved on without you," Maria told her.  
  
"I'm sorry," Liz said. "Out of all the things I've done in the past four years, the only thing I regret is leaving you two."  
  
Liz watched as Maria's grimace faltered, and she could have sworn she saw a sad look cross her face. But just as quickly as it was there, it was gone, the angry look back in her features.  
  
"You didn't even let us know you were okay. One minute I'm talking to you about Max, and the next minute you're gone. You could have been dead for heaven's sake! And how did we find out you weren't? We had to read it in the paper. The paper, Liz! You couldn't even call to say you were okay, and we found out when your picture was in the paper! Just like everyone else. We deserved more!" Maria said, her voice shaking with anger.  
  
Liz looked down at her hands and played with the ring on her left finger.  
  
"I was hurt. Heartbroken. My world had just collapsed around me. I couldn't handle it. That's no excuse, I know, but I just didn't know what to do. So I ran. And I didn't look back. I couldn't." She trailed off as Alex walked across the room to put his arm on Maria's shoulders, apparently demonstrating a united front. She took a deep breath and plunged on. "I know it was wrong. And I know I hurt you, but all I can do is apologize."  
  
"And you expect that to be it? You say you're sorry, and then everything's okay?" Alex asked.  
  
Finally, letting the tears fall from her eyes, Liz looked at Maria and Alex. "You two were the most important people in my life. And I left you. Because I was wrong. But I was young and naïve. I'm different now. I've changed. And I realize how wrong I was. And how much I miss you - both of you. I want to be part of your life. I want you to be a part of mine. I know it will take time," Liz said. "But I need you." She added the last part, whispering it softly. "How could you do it, Liz? How could you just leave us like that. You could have come to us. We would have helped," Alex told her quietly.  
  
"I can't change the past. What I did was wrong. I know that now. I want to make it up to you. I want to start our friendship all over. All I can do is apologize. I'm sorry."  
  
Liz watched as Maria's lip started to quiver. She stood with her arms crossed, her eyes fixed on Liz. Alex simply stared at his feet, and squeezed Maria's shoulder.  
  
After what seemed like an eternity, Liz realized that neither of them was going to say anything. She waited another minute, as memories from their friendship danced through her mind.  
  
Their first school dance. When Maria had dragged Alex and Liz into doing her own rendition of the 'Funky Chicken'.  
  
Their first day of Middle School, when Maria had cried because she had to sit next to Vicky Delaney in three classes and had then gotten mad at Liz for laughing..  
  
The night of Alex's 15th birthday party when Maria had slugged Pam Troy for trying to crash.  
  
The night she ran after Maria after telling her the truth about Max.  
  
The night she'd spent in jail with Alex and the rift it had almost caused in their friendship.  
  
She was scared that Alex and Maria wouldn't be able to forgive her, and that those memories would be all she'd have left of her friendship with them.  
  
Figuring they needed some time to think, she picked up her purse and eased past them to the door. "I'm sorry. I better go." She tried not to let her resignation sound in her voice, but she knew it was there.  
  
They were not going to forgive her. It was horrible, but it was true. And it was no less than she deserved.  
  
Just as Liz reached the door and put her hand on the knob, she heard Maria's voice. "I have a baby, you know. She's named after you. We had to have at least a piece of you here.if you couldn't be." Liz turned around, and watched as Maria moved towards her slowly, raising her now tear streaked face to look her in the eyes. "You should meet her."  
  
Liz dropped her purse abruptly and she closed the distance, grabbing Maria in a fierce hug. "I'm so sorry, Maria. I'm so sorry. But I love you, and I've missed you so much," Liz said through her tears.  
  
She felt Maria shake her head as she squeezed her back. "I've missed you too, Lizzie. More than you could know."  
  
As Liz and Maria stood in a firm embrace, crying softly, Alex walked up to them. "Well," he said, placing one arm on Maria's back, the other on Liz's. "Got room for one more?"  
  
Liz smiled, despite her tears, and reached out to grab Alex. "I love you too, Alex."  
  
"We never stopped missing you," he said.  
  
Liz nodded. "And I never stopped missing you. Either of you."  
  
"C'mon," Maria said, pulling Liz towards the kitchen. "We have a lot to catch up on."  
  
Liz followed Maria and Alex into the kitchen, smiled as Alex reached into the freezer for some ice cream and Maria grabbed three spoons from the drawer. Some things never change, she thought. She scowled as an image of Max smirking at her appeared abruptly before her.  
  
Well, that wasn't strictly true. [I]Someone[/I] had changed and [I]not[/I] for the better.  
  
She almost forcibly thrust Max Evans out of her head. He had no right to be here. It was because of him that she had almost lost her best friends. She wasn't going to let him interfere again.  
  
Two hours later, still talking and reminiscing, Maria screeched abruptly, looked at her watch and then jumped to her feet. "Oh my goodness! We're supposed to meet everyone at Senor Chow's in 15 minutes!"  
  
Alex slapped the counter. "I almost forgot. It's Kyle's birthday!"  
  
"Isabel has been planning this for weeks. She'll kill us if we're late," Maria told Liz, grimacing, obviously reluctant to leave.  
  
"That's my cue," Liz said.  
  
"Come with us!" Alex suggested. "Kyle'd love to see you."  
  
Liz shook her head. "I don't think that's a good idea." She wasn't ready to face the whole group just yet. She watched as Alex and Maria exchange looks. They had been very careful to leave Max out of their conversation, nor had she told them she'd already been to see him.  
  
"You sure?" Maria asked.  
  
Liz nodded.  
  
"Well, we still have a lot to catch up on," Alex said.  
  
"And I have a lot to tell you. I want to tell you why I'm here."  
  
"And you will," Maria said. "But right now, we have got to go. He'll probably hold Eliza hostage if I'm late." She walked around the counter, and grabbed Liz in a quick hug. "I'm glad you're back, Liz."  
  
"Me too," Liz said.  
  
"Well, that makes three of us," Alex added.  
  
"Tonight. Will you come back by here?" Alex asked.  
  
"What about your parents?" Liz asked.  
  
Alex shook his head. "Moved out last year. Got an apartment in Albuquerque. I live here now. And Isabel will too this time next month."  
  
"Okay, then. You'll be here too?" she asked Maria.  
  
"You bet your butt," Maria said, smiling. "I have someone you should meet."  
  
Liz nodded, and walked outside, watching as Alex and Maria climbed into Maria's car and sped off down the street. Sighing, she got in her car and headed to the hotel to pick Serena up so she could go see her parents.  
  
***  
  
"Relax, Isabel, they'll be here," Tess said. She had a pretty good idea why Alex and Maria were late, but she didn't want to tell anyone. After all, it wasn't her place. She was pretty sure that Max already knew. He'd come in to the restaurant, and had given her a piercing look.  
  
"You and me, later," he'd said, sounding extremely annoyed.  
  
She had groaned, sensing that Max had run into his erstwhile wife and that he wanted to blast her for not telling him that he had been right. That Liz would come back. He'd sat next to her, brooding quietly since he'd shown up and hadn't involved himself in the conversation.  
  
"I swear. If they don't show up soon, I'm going to send Alex down the aisle by himself."  
  
"You will not!" Kyle said, calling Isabel's bluff. "You've done too much planning for that wedding. It'll screw up the pictures to have him standing there alone." He quirked a grin at Isabel, making her scowl at him.  
  
"Fine, I won't," Isabel said. "But I'll be very upset!"  
  
"Hold your horses Izzy, here they come," Michael said. He was holding Eliza, feeding her with the bottle in his hand.  
  
"It's about time!" Isabel replied huffily.  
  
Maria and Alex walked up to the table and Alex took his seat next to Isabel, across from Max. Maria leaned over and kissed Eliza on the forehead, kissed Michael quickly on the lips and sat down between him and Alex.  
  
"Where have you been?" Isabel demanded. "You were supposed to be here twenty minutes ago."  
  
"We were held up," Alex replied.  
  
"Held up by what?" Michael asked, not sounding like he really cared but just trying to keep the conversation going so that Isabel wouldn't start screeching. If anyone knew how to handle his almost sister, it was Michael, Tess reflected gratefully. It wasn't a good idea to let Isabel get started.not a good idea at all.  
  
Tess watched Maria and Alex, knowing what was going to come next. She wondered how they were going to explain this one.  
  
Apparently head-on.  
  
Maria took a deep breath. "It's Liz. She's back in town." She held up her hands as she heard her friends gasp. Tess turned her head and watched Max closely. The fact that not even a spasm of emotion crossed his face confirmed to her that he [I]had[/I] seen her. She was dead. She still wasn't quite sure why she hadn't told him about Liz's arrival. Maybe it was the fact that she still felt like she owed Liz Parker something, but it didn't excuse it. Max was her best friend. He had a right to be pissed off at her.  
  
"Now before anyone says anything." Maria continued hurriedly, "She wants to talk to everyone. She wants to apologize. She knows what she did is wrong and she came back to tell us that. She feels bad and she misses us. She wants to tell us all about her fame and fortune, and all about her new life. And she wants to hear about us, and what she's missed. Oh yeah, and she knows about Isabel and Alex's wedding, and he invited her, and she's going to come, if everyone agrees, and she wants to see Eliza, and-"  
  
Michael reached a hand over his sleeping daughter and clamped it over Maria's mouth. "Wait a second, Maria. You're talking faster than my brain can process. Did you just say Liz was back?"  
  
"You talked to her what did she say? What does she look like?" Isabel demanded, apparently in spite of herself, because she quickly snapped her mouth shut and glanced at Max worriedly.  
  
"Did she say why she left us high and dry?" Kyle asked.  
  
Alex looked around at his friends and answered their questions. "Yes, she's back, We did talk to her and she said a lot and she looks great. We still don't really know why she left." Tess frowned, wondered why she felt that Alex was trying too hard not to look at she or Max as he said that. "Any more questions?"  
  
Maria leaned over the table and narrowed her eyes at Tess and Max. "You two don't have any questions?"  
  
Tess shook her head and Max muttered a brief, "No".  
  
"Why not?" Maria asked suspiciously.  
  
"Everyone's already asked what we wanted to know," Tess replied carefully.  
  
"You knew!" Maria said, pointing at Max and Tess. "You two knew she was here and didn't tell us!"  
  
Tess let out a deep breath. Liz had asked her not to tell. Although Tess's loyalty lay with her friends, she hadn't told them that she'd seen Liz. And now she'd have to explain why. She could only hope they'd understand. "I saw her briefly yesterday. But she asked me not to tell anyone she was here."  
  
"Tess! I can't believe you didn't tell us. Liz has been gone for four years. Why should you do what she asked?" Michael said. "And you knew too, Maxwell?"  
  
"Not until this morning. When she came to see me." Max looked away, his face still expressionless. Tess saw Michael stare at his best friend a moment longer and then exchange a glance with Isabel, who was beginning to look ready to spit nails. If there was anyone who wasn't going to forgive Liz for abandoning Max, it was Izzy.  
  
But, then, she didn't know why Liz left. No one did. Except for Tess.and Max of course. Tess hadn't even told Kyle, mainly because Max had asked her not to after getting back from New York.  
  
She had been so sure that Max following Liz to New York would fix things, that once he explained it all, Liz would come back and all would be right with the world. But when he had returned alone, Tess had decided that they would play the whole thing any way he wanted to. It was [I]his[/I] marriage after all and [I]his[/I] wife. And he hadn't wanted anyone to know.  
  
Maria and Alex had tried to find out for a while. Maria in particular had known that something seriously awful had happened, but when Max refused to talk about it and when the Parkers continued to refuse to tell any of them where Liz had gone, even she had finally given up.  
  
"You saw her and you've been sitting here this whole time and didn't say a thing?" Kyle asked now, leaning around Tess to address Max.  
  
"I'm sorry. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know if she'd want to see anyone." Tess looked at him frowning. She wondered why he didn't tell them why Liz was [I]really[/I] back. That she was here for a divorce. But they all [I]had[/I] to know. Even Michael read the paper.well, sometimes anyway.  
  
"Tess, why didn't you tell us? For goodness sake, we could have used some warning!" Maria exclaimed, apparently not willing to get mad at Max.  
  
She took a deep breath. "I know," Tess said. "But Liz is an adult. She can handle her own problems and she asked me not to tell anyone and I didn't. Let her explain for herself! Besides she didn't tell me why she was back. I'm obviously the last person she'd tell." She paused, then muttered, "I barely know her." This seemed to satisfy Maria, although Isabel continued to look suspicious.  
  
Alex took a deep breath. "Well, she's here and now we all know it," he said with false cheer. "We'll all see her eventually. Can we eat?"  
  
Slowly, after a few more angry huffs and some whispered words, conversation at the table livened up as the seven friends celebrated the special occasion. Looking around the table, at everyone she loved, Tess stopped at Max and saw the sad look in his eyes, even though he was trying to hide it as he laughed at something Alex said.  
  
He couldn't hide from Tess though. Liz Parker was back in town. And their lives were surely going to change - again. 


	6. Chapter 6

[I]Part 6[/I]  
  
"You're awfully quiet babe."  
  
Tess, who had been staring out the window without seeing a thing, turned her head and smiled weakly at Kyle. "Just tired I guess. It's been a long day." And it's not over yet, she reflected, wrinkling her nose. Somehow she just [I]knew[/I] that she had a lengthy telephone conversation with Max in her future. She had managed to evade him at the restaurant, but she knew that he was going to want an explanation for why she hadn't told him about Liz.  
  
She didn't even really know why. How was she supposed to explain it to him? But she had just felt like she owed Liz something because of the fact that it had been [I]her[/I] mistake that had driven Liz out of town. And the worse part was, once she had found out she was wrong, she hadn't done anything about it. Sure Max had followed Liz to New York, but it had been before they knew the [I]real[/I] truth. Maybe if he had gone back again.  
  
Max had been absolutely adamant though, after they found out that Maria was pregnant, that he was going to leave Liz alone. Tess wondered now why she hadn't pushed him about it, but she wished she had. Maybe if he had gone back when they first learned about Maria's baby, everything still could have been different.  
  
But now it was too late. Liz was engaged to someone else and from the whispered conversation Tess had shared with Maria in the ladies' room, both of them quickly shutting up when Isabel joined them, it was apparent that she was madly in love with her fiancé as well. Liz had not pined for Max, it was quite obvious. Tess absolutely could not bear that Max was going to be hurt again, but she knew almost certainly that he was going to be. He still loved Liz, in spite of everything. He didn't blame her for anything.  
  
Rightfully too. It was all Tess's fault after all. She was just grateful that Max didn't hold it against her, that he knew that she had been just as duped as any of them, that she had truly believed what she'd told them when she'd returned to Roswell. If only she hadn't gotten it into her head to translate that damned destiny book.  
  
"So, are you ever going to tell me?" Kyle asked now, quietly, not sounding angry, just sad. "Why Liz left I mean. You told me when we got together that you'd tell me someday Tess and I haven't pushed you. But I think the time has just about arrived."  
  
"It's not my."  
  
"I know, I know," Kyle interrupted. "It's not your story to tell. But I think it is Tess. I think you had a bigger role in what happened between Max and Liz than either you or his royal alienness have ever admitted."  
  
Tess felt the lump of fear forming in her throat. It was always there whenever she considered telling Kyle the truth. He was going to hate her - not because of what had happened when Liz had left, but because of the fact that Tess had never fixed it.  
  
Kyle and Liz had not been particularly close before she left, but if there was one thing Kyle couldn't stand, it was a coward. He had always thought that of Liz for running out on her marriage vows the way she had. He had been particularly annoyed, considering the fact that she had thrown so much caution to the wind - not to mention had dumped him - to be with Max in the first place. And then, suddenly, she was scared? It had never made sense to Kyle. But if Tess told him, he would know the real truth. That it wasn't Liz who was a coward, but she, Tess.  
  
"I don't want you to hate me," Tess admitted, disliking that her voice broke. She hated feeling weak. But when it came to Kyle, it was unavoidable. She couldn't bear the thought of losing him. He was the one person who had given her life meaning after she had learned that everything Nasedo had raised her to be was complete hogwash. Kyle loved her for herself and she still couldn't quite grasp that it was really true. What if he changed his mind when he heard the reality of what she had let Liz believe? It didn't matter that she had believed it herself. She couldn't let that fact matter.  
  
This was all her fault and she was finally facing up to it.  
  
She was so lost in her self-pity, it took her a moment to realize that Kyle had pulled off the road. She blinked, frowned slightly. "What are you doing?"  
  
"I want you to tell me," Kyle said firmly. "The sheer lunacy of the fact that you just said that you thought I could ever hate you means that you [I]have[/I] to tell me."  
  
"Why?" Tess stared at him in confusion, then lowered her eyes fearfully, hating the certain expression on his face. The expression that told her that he was sure that he knew everything there was to know about her.  
  
But he didn't. He didn't know how scared she was - all the time.  
  
"So that I can prove you wrong." Kyle reached out and gently raised her chin with his fore-finger. He was smiling at her. "I mean, are you really such an idiot? I almost want to bet on it. It's such easy money."  
  
Tess closed her eyes, allowed herself to enjoy the feel of Kyle's fingers against her cheek. "Okay. Okay, I'll tell you. But I'm warning you. It's not pretty."  
  
"Let me decide that," Kyle ordered gently. "Besides, I'd rather hear it from you Tess. Because I really think it's going to come out anyway. Liz is here and I'm guessing this is going to get a lot harder before it gets easier. For all of us."  
  
Tess snorted. "You can say that again," she muttered. "Especially when Liz realizes what Eliza's birth really means." She wasn't looking forward to Liz's wrath when she got a hold of her. Because hadn't Maria told them all that Liz knew about the baby? She was going to freak out.  
  
Of course, that was only if she cared at all anymore. Tess sort of hoped, actually, that Liz did wail on her. For Max's sake. Because it would mean that Liz [I]did[/I] still care. If only a little.  
  
"What does Ellie have to do with any of this?" Kyle asked, perplexed.  
  
"Let's just say that her existence means that the main reason Liz left town doesn't even make sense anymore."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"I'm going to have to go way back Kyle. This stretches back long before I came back to Roswell. In fact, it starts right before I left." She licked her lips, felt again the flash of grief that claimed her whenever she thought of that time. "Do you remember when that was?"  
  
"Right after Nasedo died," Kyle replied. "You ruthlessly moved in with me and my dad for a week, made me all crazy and then left without a single word." His voice was sad.  
  
"I'm still sorry about that Kyle." And she was. Because if she could only have seen past her own narrow vision of what her life was supposed to be - what Nasedo had told her it was supposed to be - she might have found happiness with Kyle so much sooner. Not only that, but Max and Liz never would have been torn apart when she returned.  
  
"You're here now."  
  
She smiled at him. "Forever." She allowed herself to enjoy the light kiss he placed on her lips. "Anyway, you know something about why I left, but you don't really know why I came back."  
  
Kyle frowned. "I guess I don't," he admitted.  
  
"Well, let's just say that, when I returned, I truly believed that if Max and I didn't get together, it meant that the entire world was going to end. And I'm not talking in a symbolic way. I thought it in the literal sense. And I wasn't going to let it happen."  
  
*********************************************************************  
  
Spring 2003  
  
Tess stared at the apartment door, her heart in her throat. She set the back-pack she was carrying down and raised her hand to knock. Her knuckle paused in mid-air.  
  
What if Liz answered? What was she going to say if Liz Parker.No, make that Liz Evans.answered the door? She knew that Max would at least listen to her, but Liz had never trusted her. The fact that all Tess now knew meant that Liz's marriage might not be able to continue.Well, that was certainly not going to improve the situation. And Tess knew that she had to say it all right away or it might not come out. What if she had to wait with Liz for Max to return? How uncomfortable was that going to be - Tess knowing that her news was going to end Liz's happiness and Liz having absolutely no idea? Liz might even try and make inane small talk! How on Earth would Tess deal with that?  
  
God. What would she do if Liz answered?  
  
It had not come as a surprise when Tess had learned through carefully placed sources in Roswell - keeping in touch with that annoying Pam Troy for the close to three years she was gone had served a purpose after all - that Max and Liz had gotten married. She still remembered the look of determination on Max's face when he stood up in the Crashdown and told Liz in front of everyone that he wasn't going to give up on her, that he was[/I]coming for her.[I] After all, it was what had made Tess finally decide once and for all to leave Roswell. Nasedo's death had caused the first yearnings for a life beyond destiny, but finally seeing right smack in front of her face that Max would never love her.It had been the final impetus. Because, even she couldn't deny it any longer. If any two people were meant to be together, they were Max and Liz. It had taken that moment of absolute crystal clarity - that in spite of everything, Max loved Liz and that he would never love Tess - for her to come to the conclusion that she couldn't stay any longer.  
  
Even Tess had been a bit shocked at how quickly they had taken the plunge following graduation though and even more so about the fact that neither of them had gone away to school. Pam had been unable to tell her why Liz and Max had stayed in Roswell. Tess had even been a little disappointed that Liz hadn't gone on to her brilliant career in science or some such field, Max cheering her on, staying quietly hidden in the background, as was his way. At one time it would have annoyed Tess, that aspect of Max's character. It wasn't king-like in her estimation, but she was long past caring about that. No, really, it was Liz who had disappointed her. Because it was the perfect Liz Parker who had won Max from the moment he had first laid eyes on her. The fact that she had given up her dream for him.It had tarnished Liz's perfection in Tess's eyes. At least when Liz was perfect, there was an excuse for why Tess had never had a chance with Max.  
  
And now Liz was maybe going to lose the person she had given up everything for. How could Tess do it to her?  
  
There's no choice! Tess reminded herself firmly. You know what the Destiny Book says now!  
  
Oh did she know.  
  
Sighing, Tess raised her hand and knocked firmly. There was no help for it. She had to tell Max and let him make the decision himself. He had to be told that if he didn't father a child, the world was destined to end.  
  
When the door opened and she met his eyes - those gorgeous eyes that she still sometimes wished had just once looked at her the way they looked at Liz - she knew that it wasn't going to be the hard part, telling him that.  
  
She watched his eyes widen in shock at the sight of her, glanced over his shoulder, her eyes lighting on the framed wedding picture of Max and Liz hanging on the wall behind him. Her heart sank. Could they possibly look any happier? Did she really have to see that right before she broke his heart?  
  
No, telling him that he had to father a child was not the problem. The problem was that he was going to have to be told that there was no way - absolutely no way at all - that he would ever be able to father a child with his wife.  
  
**********************************************************  
  
Roswell - Present Day  
  
"Oh my God! You're kidding!" Maria's spoon hung in mid-air as she stared at Liz in complete shock, the ice cream she had brought over when she had invaded Liz's hotel room completely forgotten. "Lizzie! That's terrible!"  
  
"I wish I was," Liz shrugged. She tried to ignore the dull ache in her heart - the one that always returned when she allowed herself to think about it. "I've dealt with it Maria. I'm just glad that I have Eliza to spoil rotten now."  
  
"But Liz! Not having kids." Maria's blue eyes were filling with tears. "I'm so sorry chica."  
  
Liz smiled weakly. "It's really okay. I can't imagine having a child fit into my lifestyle anyway," she admitted. "No one we know has kids, I doubt I'd be good with them anyway and, well." She trailed off. "I've just accepted it. We can't change destiny."  
  
Maria was hugging Liz, her pain for her so palpable that Liz abruptly knew just how much Eliza meant to her mother. "I so would not have brought it up if I'd known."  
  
"I know. Maria, really, let's just drop it okay? You had no way of knowing. It was a natural question. People ask it sometimes when they find out someone's engaged. Are you going to have kids? I mean, you really could not have known." Liz disentangled herself, cleared her throat. "Sean doesn't want them anyway."  
  
Maria stepped back, stared at her. "He doesn't? Why not?"  
  
"He's just not the fatherly type," Liz replied, laughing slightly. "I think he'd recite stock prices as a bed-time story. I mean, I love the man, but I know him. I just don't see him as daddy material."  
  
Maria snorted, brushing a hand under her eyes, obviously intending to return to the cheerfulness of their conversation before the subject of children came up. Because if Liz was going to do it, then she would. It was one of the things that Liz had always loved about Maria - the fact that she knew when Liz wanted to talk about something and when she didn't. Liz had forgotten how good it felt to be around someone who just [I]knew[/I] you like that.  
  
"I didn't think Michael would be a good dad either, but he's certainly proven me wrong," Maria said, shaking her head. "I'm lucky if I even get to change a diaper. The man is obsessed."  
  
Liz giggled. "I so cannot see Michael as Mr. Mom."  
  
"Liz, it's ridiculous. That child has him wrapped around her little finger. I wanted to bring her tonight but he wouldn't let me - said it was his "turn." I swear to God, it's [I]always[/I] his turn. I can't imagine what it's going to be like when she can actually talk," Maria groaned. "If she asks for the moon, I think he might fire up the granolith and try and get it for her."  
  
Liz frowned slightly. "The granolith? What do you mean?"  
  
Maria's eyes widened. "Oh I forgot! You don't know that it's a spaceship. It was in the destiny book Tess brought back wit her. We found out after you left." She stopped speaking abruptly.  
  
There was a long pause as the two women stared at each other, Liz knowing exactly what was going through her oldest friend's mind. Finally Maria sighed, "God Liz. I know you tried to explain before, but something still doesn't sound right to me. I mean, you had to know that Max would in no way ever turn to Tess. Why did you leave? What you told me and Alex before.that you just [I]knew[/I] it was going to happen and that you wanted to make the choice before Max made it for you.it just does [I]not[/I] make sense."  
  
Liz looked away, a lump in her throat. "I can't believe they didn't get together," she finally said, knowing that she wasn't in any way answering Maria's question, but wanting to hear Maria's take on the Max situation. She was still in shock over how much he had changed. Had it all been a result of her having run out on him? Was she really to blame for that?  
  
"Liz, Max has only ever loved one person," Maria said firmly. "You know that. You've [I]always[/I] known it. Why you thought Tess coming back would change anything."  
  
"Maria, I told you already that I saw him," Liz shot back, abruptly annoyed. It was not her fault! He could have come after her if had really wanted her so badly! What was she supposed to have thought?  
  
[I]You can't really blame him for that,[/I] a small voice in the back of her mind reminded her. [I]It made it easier on you that he didn't come. You would have just had to turn him away again anyway.[/I]  
  
Liz knew it was true and, yet, a small part of her couldn't help but still feel slightly resentful that he hadn't ever come looking for her. And, so, she continued her mini-rant against Max. "He's holding my divorce ransom for God's sake! There is no way that man still loves me."  
  
Maria just shook her head sadly, dipping her spoon back into the ice cream and bringing it to her mouth and chewing noisily.  
  
"What?" Liz demanded. "Why are you looking like that?"  
  
"You are so blind chica," Maria sighed. "It's sad really."  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"Max doesn't want to divorce you silly! Of course he's not going to sign the stupid papers!"  
  
Liz folded her arms over her chest, scowling. "It doesn't matter what [I]he[/I] wants. I have a right to a divorce if I want one. I may just go the Sheriff and complain. Maybe a night in jail will remind him that he can't play games with me."  
  
Maria's eyes were narrowed. Liz tried to ignore the troubled expression on her friend's face. Why did Maria look so disapproving? She was only stating the truth. Max Evans did not run Liz's life - not any longer - and he could not control her. Whatever his reasons for extortion, she was not going to let him win. When Maria finally spoke, all she said was, "I don't think the Sheriff's going to throw Max in prison because he won't sign your papers."  
  
Liz stared at Maria for a stunned moment and then started to giggle. Their eyes met and they both broke up into gales of laughter. "I.I guess he won't." Liz finally managed to say through her tears of amusement. Being back in Roswell obviously [I]was[/I] driving her crazy! She wasn't even thinking straight any longer.  
  
Which only reinforced to her how vital it was that she get this divorce finalized as quickly as possible. She needed to get back to New York, her fiancé and her real life as soon as possible. Not to mention her sanity.  
  
The two young women fell back against the pillows on the bed, their heads close together, just like they had done so many times in both of their bedrooms in their teens. Maria picked up Liz's hand, twining her fingers through hers. "So, tell me. You said that you knew what the destiny book said," Liz reminded Maria quietly, staring up at the ceiling, no longer feeling any urge to laugh.  
  
"Some of it," Maria agreed. "Does it have something to do with why you left?"  
  
"Yes," Liz sighed. "Tess thought that it said that humans couldn't have babies with aliens. That's what those pictures meant. I knew that Max wanted kids and I knew that the only way he was going to have them was with Tess. So I left." She hoped Maria would believe her. She could not go into the [I]real[/I] reason.  
  
"And that's why you left? Because of that?" Maria sat up abruptly. "Wait a minute! Does Max know it's why you left?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Are you telling me that Max didn't want to stay married to you if you couldn't have kids?" Maria demanded, sounding horrified.  
  
There was a long pause before Liz answered. Could she really have Maria think so poorly of Max? She swallowed, refused to think about the expression on his face when he had told her that he didn't care one bit if they couldn't have children.  
  
[I]You mean everything to me Liz. If we have children, a child, it will be a gift, but just being with you has made my life complete. I don't need anything else.[/I]  
  
He was haunting her. There was now no question about it. Not the Max who had demanded money from her, nor the Max who had been slightly rude and highly disapproving of her. No, [I]her[/I] Max - the one who had saved her life in the Crashdown - just being in Roswell was bringing all the memories back. And they were wonderful. In spite of everything that had come after - in spite of the secret she would take to her grave - she could no longer pretend that she had not loved being married to Max. That if what had happened had not happened, she would still be married to him and likely blissfully happy. Childless, yes, but they would have been complete anyway.  
  
But it just was not meant to be.  
  
She opened her mouth to make the final break, to betray Max completely by lying to Maria, by telling her friend that "No, Max did not want me because I couldn't have kids with him," when the door slammed open, making her sit up quickly.  
  
"Rena!" Liz stared at Serena, managed to compose herself quickly. "Where have you been?"  
  
"Out," Serena replied, advancing, her eyes speculative on Maria. Liz grimaced. Uh oh. This did not bode well. "Gathering information."  
  
"About what?" Liz asked weakly. She could feel Maria tensing beside her. Please. Oh [I]please[/I] let them like each other!  
  
"Oh, this and that," Serena said airily, waving her hand in the air. "Like on the fact that the blonde midget is indeed engaged to one Deputy Kyle Valenti. That Max Evans is single and owns the UFO Centre."  
  
Liz started, turned to Maria. "He owns it?"  
  
"Yes," Maria replied, distracted. She was still staring at Serena. "Liz, are you going to introduce us?"  
  
"Er, yes," Liz said, feeling grimly confident that this was not going to go well at all. Maria's expression was stony now, had hardened with every word Serena had said about the others. Maria was going to defend them all until her dying breath. And if Serena couldn't keep her mouth shut about her antipathy towards them all - all on Liz's behalf of course - well.  
  
It was going to be bad.  
  
Play nice, Liz pleaded silently, looking from one to the other. She wondered if she had time to go hide before this conversation began. 


	7. Chapter 7

[u]Part 7[/u]  
  
"Serena Taggert, my best friend, Maria Deluca," Liz said, motioning between the two girls. "Maria Deluca, my best friend, Serena Taggert."  
  
Liz felt her heart speed up, anticipating the meeting between the two best friends she had in the world, besides Alex, but he would be here soon enough. The thought was enough to send a shiver down Liz's spine as she hoped things weren't going to go from bad to worse with his arrival.  
  
Serena paused briefly while Maria was introduced to her, then went on with what she had to say. "So, anyway, while I was gathering my information, I also found out that-"  
  
"Excuse me, [I]Christina[/I]," Maria interrupted, sitting up and narrowing her eyes at the girl who had burst into the room and, thus, into their conversation. "This was a two way discussion."  
  
Liz let out a deep sigh as she sat, knowing that this had to happen sooner or later. She had hoped it would be later, but she supposed she couldn't stop it now.  
  
Maria had been there for most of the major events in her life and had stuck by her through the rough patches. She knew Liz's deepest childhood fears and greatest childhood dreams. She was there when Liz had fallen in love with an amber-eyed teenager, and was there when she pledged her life to the same boy. And she had been there when things had fallen apart, although she had never really known what had happened. The feelings the two girls harbored for each other were enough to overcome the wrongs committed in the past. Because Maria was still there. And, even now, she still knew Liz inside and out.  
  
But she was a different person now too. She had lived through things that had changed her and molded her into the woman she was today. Serena had been her lifeline for the past four years. She was the only person Liz had confided in for so long. She'd trusted Serena with her life, and eventually the lives of the people she'd left behind when she told the girl her secrets, and why she'd run away from home. Serena hadn't criticized her or ridiculed her for her decision, she had just offered her support, no questions asked. And as a result, an unbreakable bond had formed between the two girls. But, now, seeing two of her closest friends locked in a heated staring match, both looking ready to pounce, it became painfully obvious why both women had claimed a part of Liz's heart and why she loved them both dearly. Because, deep down, she supposed that one girl eerily reminded her of the other.  
  
"It's S-e-r-e-n-a," Serena said slowly, accenting each syllable, in an exaggerated attempt to let Maria know her name. "And [I]was[/I] is they key word." Turning back to Liz, Serena continued. "So, anyway, Liz, I found out that-"  
  
"Yeah, Serena," Maria intervened again, more hotly this time. "I'll have you know that those people you are out spying on happen to be my family. I'd pick my words carefully, if I were you."  
  
"Is that a threat?" Serena asked, putting on hand on her hip, and tilting her head cockily to one side. "Because I was born and raised in New York and we don't take lightly to people threatening us."  
  
Maria got up off the bed and walked over to Serena, standing inches from her face, her fists clenched at her sides. "I don't care if you freaking [i]own[/i] New York. When Maria Deluca makes a threat, she knows how to back it up."  
  
Serena scoffed at the green eyes staring back at her but Liz could see that she was gritting her teeth. "Yeah, well-"  
  
"Hey, guys, can we just take a breather for a minute?" Liz asked, stepping between her two friends. "Why don't we just put away the death glares and play nice for now?"  
  
"If I play with her, you can bet it won't be nice!" Serena snapped angrily.  
  
"Bring it on!" Maria retorted, as she and Serena took a step toward each other.  
  
Liz put her arms out as far as they would go, one on Serena's chest, and one on Maria's, and pushed them as far apart as she could reach. "Guys, hold on. You two are my best friends, okay! Can't we just talk for a minute?" Liz demanded, her voice edgy with anxiety. This was getting bad. Fast. She could feel the tension rising in the room and wanted so badly to erase it. "I want you two to like each other!" She added, exasperated.  
  
"Liz! You can't be serious! This-this [i]girl,[/i] just burst in here, spouting off at the mouth about information concerning the very people in this world you know could be in danger if certain knowledge comes to light! She has no right!"  
  
"Cool your panties, Deluca," Serena snapped. "I know all about how your friends are a little 'green around the gills', and I haven't spilled to anyone, and I'm not planning on it. My loyalties lie with [i]Liz[/i]."  
  
Liz cringed, and closed her eyes, waiting for the onslaught of 'How could you's' that she knew were coming.  
  
All those years ago, when she'd sworn Maria to secrecy and told her about Max's alien status, she'd taken every precaution necessary to keep anyone else from overhearing. The only other person she'd told was Alex. Jim Valenti had been brought in after Max was captured and taken to the White Room and he had proven a worthy ally many times in dealing with the government. Kyle had been let in on the secret when he had been shot by Pierce and Max had healed his wound and saved his life, much like he believed Kyle's father had saved his by helping rescue him from the clutches of the Special Unit. But, soon after, they had all made an agreement. Liz, along with Max, Maria, Michael, Isabel, Alex, Kyle, Tess, and the Sheriff had agreed that no one else would ever know. They had decided that it would be safer, for them and for anyone else, if the secret stayed between the nine of them and had promised they would never tell. And that was just one more promise Liz had broken when she'd left. She'd let Serena in.  
  
Maria's mouth opened in a wide 'O' shape, turned with shock to stare at Liz, but before giving Liz a chance to defend herself, she turned back to Serena. "And 'my loyalties lie with [i]Liz[/i]? What is that supposed to mean?"  
  
"C'mon, guys, stop it!" Liz pleaded, but knew that her cries were unheard.  
  
Serena leaned around Liz to look at Maria. "It means that Liz is my best friend. I love Liz, and I don't go around becoming friends with traitorous former alien queens who run her out of town! I have morals!" Serena snapped, raising her voice even more.  
  
"Why you little." Maria's voice trailed off as she jumped at Serena and barely had time to notice that Serena had jumped at her too before both girls froze and turned abruptly when the mirror above the bed and the one hanging by the front door shattered into a thousand tiny pieces, both crashing to the floor. Maria and Serena themselves were pushed backwards by invisible hands. Both girls looked at Liz, and found themselves staring in shock.  
  
Liz was standing a few feet from them, glaring from Maria to Serena and back, her hands at her sides, palms outspread. And they were gleaming. Tiny green sparks were coming from her palms and the worst part to both of the rivals was that this didn't seem to be fazing Liz one bit.  
  
Maria glanced away when she heard Serena's sharp intake of breath, only to see that the expression on the other girl's face mirrored the one on her own.  
  
"Liz, what was that?" Maria asked incredulously.  
  
Liz, looking incredibly annoyed, and a bit frustrated, shrugged her shoulders slightly. "Surprise!" She whispered.  
  
"Liz, if that is what I think it is, you have some explaining to do," Serena ground out.  
  
"I forgot to tell you I had powers?" Liz asked, hoping she'd get out of a long explanation.  
  
"Elizabeth Anne Parker Evans!" Maria cried.  
  
Liz rolled her eyes. Now she was in for it. She'd told Maria everything big in her life (well except for that small detail about the end of the world but that wasn't her secret to tell) and she had promised that nothing significant was being left out. But she had still failed to tell her that shortly after arriving in New York, her powers had made their first appearance.  
  
Liz had been extremely frustrated after a fruitless day of job searching and had come home, only to find Serena gone, and her stomach growling. She went for something to eat and found nothing in the fridge. Going to her purse for her wallet so she could order a pizza, she found it gone. Throwing the purse against the opposite wall and retreating to the bathroom for a hot bubble bath, she found the bottle of bath salts empty. Frustrated and feeling like the world was working against her, she had raised her hands to hit the hamper and found the mirror on the wall shattering to pieces instead.  
  
She had been shocked at first, but once she realized what was happening, she found it amusing. She'd left Max and everything concerning him behind, but she'd managed to bring something of him with her. Some might call it a gift, some a curse, but there was no question that Max Evans was responsible. Every time she got the chance since then, she'd practiced using her powers, and she'd gotten good at controlling them. She could do things that all of the Czechoslovakians could do, like change colors and make objects fly across the room. She could also heal small cuts and bruises, but nothing major. She had deduced that since Max had healed her, she had inherited powers from him, thus explaining the healing. She'd gotten good at hiding them too, but sometimes, when she got stressed our or her emotions were running rampant, her powers slipped. This was one of those times. And despite the fact that it had been a little less than four years since they'd developed, Liz had never told anyone about her powers.  
  
Now, it seemed, she had no choice.  
  
"So, I have powers," Liz stated matter-of-factly. "Sometimes, when my emotions are high, I can't control them.  
  
Serena raised her arms. "So I have powers? That's all you have to say! How could you keep this a secret, Liz?"  
  
"And you said you told me everything!" Maria said.  
  
"I'm sorry. I didn't tell anyone. I don't know why, I just.I wanted to keep it a secret."  
  
"I thought you were through telling lies, Liz! You promised!"  
  
"Well, this wasn't a lie, Maria. I just didn't tell you, that's all. I would have told you eventually."  
  
"Why didn't you tell[i] me?[/i] We've lived together for the past four years, for goodness sake!" Serena exclaimed, "Those. those [I]things,[/I]" she said, pointing at Liz's hands, "They could be dangerous!"  
  
"Serena, they're not dangerous! You should have seen Michael when-"  
  
"I can't believe you didn't tell me," Maria said quietly. "I need to go."  
  
"Maria," Liz pleaded. "Please don't leave mad! I'm sorry."  
  
"And I can't believe you lied to me. Of all people, you lied to [I]me,[/I]" Serena said quietly. She glanced over towards the door, and back at Liz. "I'm going too. With her," she added, pointing at Maria's retreating form.  
  
"Serena, no, wait!" Liz called, but Serena turned and walked out the door, just as Alex was coming in.  
  
"Hey, I'm Alex. Okay, bye to you too," he finished, perplexed, before turning to look questioningly at Liz.  
  
"Who's that, and what's wrong with Maria? I just passed her and she seems pretty mad," he said, stepping across the room to stand in front of Liz.  
  
"Oh, Alex, I messed up, again!" Liz wailed.  
  
Alex smiled, putting his arm around Liz's shoulders. "C'mon, Lizzibean. Tell Uncle Alex all about it."  
  
Liz couldn't help but smile as she heard Alex's childhood nickname for her. She sighed deeply and let him lead her to the side of the bed to sit down.  
  
Some time later, when Liz had told Alex everything, pausing only to answer his questions, she and Alex settled across the bed to watch a movie and wait for Serena. Or Maria. Or both. Liz hoped that after they had a chance to cool down, they would both return.  
  
"You aren't mad at me too?" Liz asked Alex again, just to make sure.  
  
Alex shrugged his shoulders. "I'm furious with you. But if I forgive you now, I can use it as ammunition later," he said with smirk.  
  
Liz found herself giggling, and covered her mouth in surprise. "Thanks, Alex. You always did know how to make me feel better."  
  
"That's me," Alex replied, raising up and puffing out his chest. "Alex Whitman, The Make Liz Feel Better Guy."  
  
Liz smiled again, but it was short lived. "What will the other's say?" Liz asked tentatively, her expression clouded with worry. "They must hate me," she added quietly.  
  
Liz knew it was true. It had been rough for her and Isabel in the beginning as it was. Isabel didn't easily let people in, and she had not made it easy for Liz in the beginning But with time, Max's sister had opened up and had let in the girl who would eventually become her sister-in-law, only to have her run out on her husband and leave a trail of heartbreak and confusion in her wake. Liz knew it wasn't going to be easy getting Isabel to forgive her.  
  
Michael had been the same way, although he had been easier on her after he had stolen her journal that time. That same incident had taught Liz an eternal truth about Michael Guerin - that deep down, he was scared to death of getting hurt. And that was the reason [i]he[/i] didn't let people in. But he had trusted Liz, just as Isabel had. Liz knew that her leaving had to have hurt Michael too. And she knew that it would be just as hard to get him to forgive her as it would be convincing Isabel.  
  
"I don't know Lizzie," Alex said now. "That's something you'll have to find out for yourself."  
  
"I know, Alex," she sighed. "I'm just.I'm afraid, that's all. I didn't realize how much I missed everyone else while I was gone too. Until I came back."  
  
Alex reached over and kissed Liz on the forehead. "They love you too Liz. It might take a while, but they'll forgive you eventually."  
  
Liz was about to say something when she heard a tentative knock at the door. She glanced at Alex questioningly and got up to answer it. She looked through the peephole. Confused at what she saw, she turned back to Alex, shrugged her shoulders and opened the door to see if the peephole had been lying.  
  
But it had not been. Standing on the other side were Maria and Serena. And they were smiling!  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Closing the door behind her, and after throwing her stuff on the floor near the bottom of the steps, Tess leaned against the banister.  
  
She'd been with Kyle all day and had managed to get some things explained to him. But, seeing how upset she was getting, Kyle had told her that she could finish at another time. And Tess was only too happy to oblige.  
  
She'd worn herself out after all, playing over and over in her head what she would say to Max. She just needed to take a few more minutes and then she would know exactly what she was going to say. She'd go to him before he confronted her and get the whole thing straightened out.  
  
But as Tess picked up her packages and walked towards the kitchen, she heard the doorbell ring and groaned inwardly. She took a deep breath as every single thought of the speech she'd so carefully rehearsed flew from her mind. She already knew who it was. He [i]did[/i] live right across the street, after all, and he must have been waiting for her. She stepped to the door and looked through the peephole. He was staring right at it, his face expressionless, as if he knew she would look out first. She turned the knob and opened the door wide, motioning for him to come him.  
  
"Max, I know why you're here," she began quickly. "I don't know what to say."  
  
Tess watched as Max walked into her house and went straight to the living room. She shut the door behind him, clicked the lock into place. She'd tried to be ready for this moment, but all her self preparation had done her no good. She wasn't the least bit ready. She let out a deep breath, then headed to the living room. She stopped at the edge of the couch, and waited for Max to speak, knowing good and well he would when he was ready.  
  
"How could you Tess? You knew she was here, and you didn't even tell me," Max asked, not sounding angry exactly, just extremely tired.  
  
"When I left the UFO Center the other day, I met her in the street. We talked for a minute, and she asked me not to tell anyone she was here. I told her I wouldn't."  
  
"But Tess, I'm not just anyone! I'm her husband, and [i]your[/i] best friend," he reminded her softly. He looked up at Tess and she felt her heart go out to him.  
  
Max was good at hiding his feelings. He still loved Liz. In spite of everything, Tess knew it was true. He hadn't said it out loud since she'd left him, but they all knew. He still loved her and he always would. He was Max and she was Liz and it was all there was to it. Tess was pretty sure that it had never even crossed Max's mind that he should try to stop.  
  
Each of the people she'd left behind had their own feelings for Liz, whether it was anger, pain or disappointment, but they'd all respected Max enough not to mention her when he was around. Whenever her name did slip into a conversation, Max would pretend he didn't notice, but it was always only Tess that could see through his disguise. This time he made no effort to hide his pain. For the first time in four years, Max Evans was letting his guard down.  
  
Tess could see the tension in his movements. The pain and despair pooling in his dark eyes was enough to make her want to break down herself. She could see the heartbreak practically beating in his chest.  
  
"I'm sorry, Max. But it wasn't my place." She knew the words sounded lame even as she said them, but it was the truth.  
  
"You could have told me, Tess! You know how I feel and that I knew she was coming. You could have given me fair warning. You chose her over me!"  
  
"I didn't choose her over you Max. I've already done enough damage where you and Liz are concerned. I don't need to get involved this time," Tess said gently, but firmly, upset that he was hurt, but knowing she was right.  
  
Max looked at his friend, nodded his head, then turned to look back out the window. "It hurts," he said finally, looking down at his left hand where his wedding ring still wrapped around his finger. He had been playing with it unconsciously, as he often did. "I might seem angry. But that's to hide the hurt. I act like I'm strong. Like it doesn't bother me. But it does Tess. It does more than you can know."  
  
"Because you love her, Max," Tess said quietly. "It will always hurt. I'm sorry."  
  
Max nodded wearily. "How can I let her go? She wants her freedom and I know I should give it to her, but how can I let the other half of my soul go? "  
  
"I don't know what to tell you Max. But if you really do truly love her, you'll know what to do when the time comes."  
  
"The problem is Tess, the time's right now. I can't sign those papers. She wants me to and she despises me because I told her no. I'm not strong enough. With all my powers, I'm not strong enough to sign away the most important person in my life. But as much as I can't bear to see it happen, she wants to start a new life. How can I deny her that?" Max asked, his tortured eyes pleading with Tess for an answer.  
  
Seeing a lone tear roll down Max's cheek, Tess felt her own eyes get misty. "This is something I can't help you with, Max. I can't show you or tell you what to do. [I]I[/I] can't, Michael can't, Isabel can't. You have to make this decision on your own. But I can tell you this," Tess said, crossing the room to grab Max's hand in her own. "If it's meant to be, then it will be. You told me once that if you ever had the chance, you'd fight to the death for Liz. [i]This[/i] is your chance. Don't let her leave here without knowing how you feel. If you do, you'll regret it for the rest of your life. And if I know Liz, she'll regret for the rest of hers."  
  
"What do you mean?" Max demanded. "She'll regret it? She wants to marry someone else Tess!"  
  
Tess shook her head, offering Max a weak smile. She wondered briefly if she should continue, whether she was giving him false hope, but she couldn't bear to see the expression of despair on his face any longer. "Liz Evans is one of the richest people in New York. She has tons of resources at her fingertips. She could have easily paid someone to bring these papers to you. But she didn't. [i]She[/i] came. She hopped on a plane and flew all the way across the country. And it wasn't just because she needed the divorce papers signed."  
  
"Well, then, why was it?" Max asked, his eyes narrowing thoughtfully, although he seemed to understand the direction in which Tess was headed.  
  
"I don't know, Max. That's for you to find out. Just ask her."  
  
Liz Evans had a lot of pain and regret floating around behind those eyes of hers, even if she didn't realize it. Tess had seen that much the day before when she had met Liz in the middle of the street. And Tess was sure that somewhere, deep down inside Liz, some of those feelings were directed towards the man whose last name she still shared. She supposed that was part of the reason Liz had come herself, back to Roswell, after wanting so badly to leave it behind.  
  
"I don't know what to say to her," he whispered.  
  
Tess pulled Max into a hug. "You love her, Max. Your heart will tell you what to do."  
  
Tess smiled as she felt Max's arms tentatively wrap around her shoulders. She felt him relax, as his grip tightened briefly, then she let him go and stepped back.  
  
"Thanks, Tess," he said.  
  
"Hey, what are best friends for?" she said, shrugging her shoulders.  
  
"I guess I'll go," Max said, looking at his watch. "I'm supposed to be watching the game with Michael tonight. Maria has some big restaurant convention thingy to go to, so we get to keep Ellie." "Convention [I]thingy[/I]?" Tess asked, grinning in spite of herself.  
  
Max shrugged. "Her words, not mine."  
  
"Well, have fun," Tess said as she walked Max to the door.  
  
Opening it, Max turned around and kissed Tess quickly on the cheek. "You always know how to make me feel better," he said. When Tess smiled smugly and shrugged her shoulders once again, Max pointed his finger at her. "But I'm still mad at you for not telling me she was here, so don't forget that!"  
  
"Bye, Max," Tess said, giggling.  
  
But, after she shut the door, the smile faded from her features.  
  
She had just done the last thing in the world that she could do for her friend. She'd offered him hope. She'd planted a small glimmer of what he'd been looking for. [i]She[/i] just hoped it wasn't steering him straight for another heartbreak. 


	8. Chapter 8

[u]Part 8[/u]  
  
"Why are you both looking at me like that?" Liz demanded nervously, backing up and almost giving into the urge to cower behind Alex.  
  
"How are we looking at you Liz?" Maria asked pleasantly, still smiling, although there was a wicked gleam in her blue eyes.  
  
"Like you're about to gang up on me."  
  
"We're your best friends Liz," Serena said. "We would [I]never[/I] so such a thing! And what do we have to gang up on your about anyway?"  
  
Liz grimaced. This was worse than she had expected. While she was glad that Serena and Maria seemed to now be on the same team, it had never once occurred to her that their team might turn on [I]her[/I].  
  
"I don't know," Liz replied weakly.  
  
"Other than the fact that you've lied to your best friends that is," Maria continued, narrowing her eyes. "It's funny how being hurt like that can bond people."  
  
"She told [I]me[/I] the truth right away," Alex inserted. Liz glanced at him, could see that he looked just as worried as she did. Liz smiled at him gratefully, although she knew that nothing he said was going to save her from the wrath about to rain down on her head.  
  
"I really am sorry about that," Liz began. And she was. It was just that all of her lies and half-truths stemmed from one [I]huge[/I] secret - one that no one else could ever find out about. Because, if they did, all she had done to save them all would have been in vain. And as long as that secret had to stay buried, she knew that she was never going to be able to truly be honest with her friends. "I should have told you I had powers." She looked at Serena in particular when she said this. "It's one of the reasons I told you about the alien-status of the others in the first place. So that if something weird happened you'd understand, but somehow I just couldn't bring myself to tell you I'm a little green around the gills too."  
  
Serena was staring at her, her expression softening. "What I want to know is [I]why[/I] Liz. Why couldn't you tell me?"  
  
Liz swallowed. "I."  
  
"I'll tell you the conclusion Maria and I reached. We think it's because the fact that you have powers means that you're still connected to Max."  
  
Liz blinked. "What?" She didn't understand what Serena was getting at. While it was true that her new gifts did indeed mean that she would forever be marked by Max Evans, she certainly in no way [I]wanted[/I] to be. She had chosen to leave him behind because she had been asked to and she had also decided that the only way to [I]really[/I] do it was to allow herself to forget him. It was why she had found herself falling in love with Sean after all. She had [I]made[/I] herself allow it to happen.  
  
She had made herself forget Max.  
  
The fact that she was still connected to him in such a fundamental way was a nuisance more than anything. Sure it was fun to have powers, but she tried to forget where she'd gotten them.  
  
Didn't she?  
  
The expression on both Serena and Maria's faces seemed to indicate they didn't believe it.  
  
"You wanted something of him to keep for yourself," Maria said firmly. "Which means that you still love him." She narrowed her eyes at Liz. "Max did not tell you he didn't want to stay married to you if you couldn't have kids. I [I]know[/I] he didn't. Max was adopted Liz. He wouldn't care. He would have wanted you anyway and he would have suggested adoption."  
  
Liz's blood ran cold. Maria really [I]did[/I] know Max now. Because, of course, that was exactly what he had told her.  
  
[I]It's you who is irreplaceable Liz. We can adopt someday because I know better than anyone how many kids out there need to be loved. But when it comes to my [/I]wife[I], there is no one else. You're it. You're the only one. You have always been the only one. You always will be.[/I]  
  
And the fact that he had not gotten together with Tess when she left only confirmed that if Max Evans was anything, he wasn't a liar.  
  
Liz closed her eyes and collapsed onto the bed.  
  
There was a long silence. Liz buried her face in her hands and didn't look up, even after she felt Alex sit beside her, his strong hand on her back in support. She couldn't bear to see the expression of censure on Maria's face. Because Maria had somehow figured out that Liz had actually been on the verge of telling her the biggest lie of all. That Max had rejected [I]her[/I].  
  
Why? Why couldn't it have happened that way? Why did he have to make it so difficult? She had made her choice. There was no other to have been made. But he wouldn't let go of her. It was supremely ironic that it was Max who was holding on so tightly, considering why she had left in the first place. It also wasn't fair.  
  
How strong was she expected to be?  
  
"Liz, babe, you [I]need[/I] to tell us." Maria's voice was not confrontational, but sympathetic. "How can we help you if you won't tell us?"  
  
"I can't," Liz whispered. "I cannot tell you. I'm sorry. Just know that you're right about Max. He is not to blame." She glanced at Serena and said firmly, "Neither is Tess. I know she blames herself, but neither of them really knows what happened. They think they do, but they don't." She paused. "If you want to help me Maria, then fine. I [I]need[/I] my divorce." Liz raised her chin, stared right into Maria's eyes. "Maria, I [I]need[/I] this."  
  
She knew this was true now more than ever. Because even if there was no Sean, Max had to move on. He had to.  
  
The fate of the world depended on it.  
  
Liz watched Maria's gaze meet Alex's. She felt Alex shrug helplessly beside her.  
  
Maria closed her eyes, sighing. "Okay, Liz. Okay. I'll talk to Max. I think he's at my house right now. He and Michael are watching the game. I was supposed to go to a restaurant thingy but I'll skip it. I'll get him to sign those papers."  
  
Liz almost collapsed in relief. She just knew that she could not face Max again. It was too hard, especially after seeing how bitter he had become. Which was just another thing to add to the guilt complex she had been living with for five years. "Thank you," she said quietly.  
  
She stood, went to her bag and pulled out the blue legal document, then handed it to Maria. "I really wish I could tell you Maria. I do. Thank you for trusting me."  
  
Maria pressed her lips together. "I once told you I'd always have your back Liz and I meant it. Michael is my husband and Max, Isabel and Tess are my friends, but without you I wouldn't know any of them. I'll stand with you on this. You have a right to make your own decisions."  
  
Liz flinched at the mention of Michael. "This isn't going to screw things up between you and Michael is it?" She asked warily.  
  
"Nah." Maria waved her hand in the air dismissively. "He'll support me. Michael wants Max to move on more than anyone. The constant angst really tires him out."  
  
Liz felt a pang of regret at that. "I guess he and Isabel really hate me huh?"  
  
Maria sighed. "Can you really blame them Liz? They don't know [I]anything.[/I] Max never told us what happened, even after he came back."  
  
"Came back?" Liz asked wearily. "Came back from where?"  
  
"From New York," Maria replied, looking at Liz strangely.  
  
"What do you mean Max came to New York?" Liz shared an astonished look with Serena.  
  
"You didn't know?" Maria demanded. "He went when we finally found out where you'd gone. Your first collection was all over the local news Liz. Of course Max went." She paused. "We never asked him what happened, just assumed that it was [I]really[/I] over when he didn't want to talk about it." She shook her head in disbelief. "Are you telling me he never saw you?"  
  
"I swear Maria. Max [I]never[/I]came to New York," Liz replied, frowning. Why had Max come to New York if he hadn't intended to see her? Or had he just told everyone he had? "When was this?" Liz asked, trying to understand how this could have happened.  
  
"About three years ago," Alex offered helpfully.  
  
Liz brought her hands up and rubbed her temples wearily. "I can't believe he did that."  
  
"Liz, [I]of course[/I] he did it," Maria said, sounding tired. "Seriously. If anyone should know how much Max loved you, it's you." She sighed again. "But if he didn't see you, I don't know what the heck he was doing up there."  
  
"God," Serena said, sounding stupefied. "Liz, this changes [I]everything[/I]."  
  
Liz wished she could agree. Only five minutes ago, the absolute last thing that she had ever wanted to do was face Max again. Now the [I]only[/I] thing she wanted to do was confront him.  
  
He [I]had[/I] come after her. And she had never known. While it did not change things - she still couldn't be with him - it did mean that she had absolutely no right to feel like an injured party.  
  
Max was the only victim here.  
  
So much for letting go of the guilt.  
  
Liz forced herself to sit down on the bed. As much as she wanted to find out why Max had gone to New York and why she had not seen him, she needed the divorce over with. She could not see him again. Because if he actually told her, if she actually heard him tell her that he wouldn't sign the papers because he did not want to let her go, she might waver.  
  
She could not waver.  
  
"It doesn't change anything," Liz said quietly, hoping that they believed her. She did not look up to see Maria and Serena exchange surprised glances.  
  
Maria's voice was disappointed as she said, "Fine. I really wish I knew what was going on with you Liz, but I told you I would do this and I will. Let me just state for the record though, I think you're making a mistake."  
  
"I love Sean now," Liz replied stubbornly. "When you meet him, you'll understand. Right Rena?"  
  
Serena did not sound convinced when she said a perfunctory, "Right."  
  
Maria turned to go. "Wait!" Serena continued, looking thoughtful.  
  
"What?" Maria asked.  
  
"Can I come with you?"  
  
"Serena!" Liz exclaimed.  
  
"I'm sorry Liz, but I need to meet this Max. It's the only way I'm going to really be able to understand this."  
  
Liz stared after her two girlfriends in consternation as they whirled out of the room for the second time in less than an hour.  
  
"Well, I guess it's just the two of us," Alex said, obviously trying to mask how upset he was. Liz didn't blame him. She had flat-out admitted to them all that she was going to continue lying to them. It was going to affect all of their relationships. She was just lucky that her friends loved her enough to continue to try with her. She knew she didn't deserve it. "Wanna go for a midnight snack?"  
  
Liz closed her eyes, decided she would play along. "Where?"  
  
"How 'bout Senor Chow's?" Alex asked. "It's either there or the Crashdown. We don't have New York choices Lizziebean."  
  
"Fine. Senor Chow's is fine," Liz replied. There were memories associated with that particular restaurant of course, but there were memories [I]everywhere[/I] in Roswell. At least the Mexican/Chinese restaurant had [I]good[/I] memories. She needed out of this hotel room. She felt like she was about to suffocate.  
  
Maria had gone to get Max to sign the divorce papers. Max had come to New York. Serena was going to meet Max.  
  
It was just too much. Was it wrong that she just wanted to forget about all of it for a while?  
  
"Let's go get drunk," Liz said, following Alex out the door.  
  
********************************************  
  
"Michael, I can't believe you're bringing your baby daughter into a bar," Max said. Tess saw him shaking his head as they followed their friend into Senor Chow's. "Maria is going to kill you."  
  
"What 'Ria doesn't know won't hurt her," Michael replied. "Besides, it's not my fault the satellite went out. I'm [I]not[/I] missing this game. Not to mention, we had her in the restaurant earlier. What's the difference?"  
  
Only about fifty smokers, give or take a few drunken bums, Tess reflected. "Okay," she shrugged. "But don't say we didn't warn you."  
  
Tess had hurried over to Michael and Maria's when Max had called her, inviting her along because they had decided to go out instead. It had never once occurred to her that they intended to bring Eliza into a bar however. She should have known, although it was unlike Michael. He rarely, if ever, did anything to jeopardize his daughter's health.  
  
They settled themselves at a table in the bar section of the Mexican/Chinese restaurant. Michael glared over his shoulder at an old coot sitting at the bar who was puffing on a cigarette. "Excuse me," he said. "I don't appreciate you smoking around my kid."  
  
"Here we go," Max whispered, sounding amused. Tess was glad that Michael's antics were taking his mind off of Liz. If anyone needed a night out, it was Max.  
  
"Then take your kid out of here," the old coot grumbled.  
  
Michael's expression was fierce as he started to rise.  
  
Tess sighed, closed her eyes and mindwarped the guy into compliance. When she opened them he was staring at his cigarette in horror. "Jeez, sorry man. I don't even smoke." He hurriedly stubbed it out.  
  
Michael sat back down. "Thanks man."  
  
Max and Tess exchanged glances, Max rolling his eyes. Trust Michael to expect the entire world to march to [I]his[/I] drummer.  
  
"Thanks Tess," Michael said, settling back in this chair, Eliza on his shoulder. The baby was sound asleep.  
  
"No problem."  
  
They ordered cherry colas all around and settled in to watch the game, Max and Michael groaning every few minutes because the Cardinals were playing like "crap" as Michael termed it.  
  
Tess felt her attention drifting as she lazily dumped more sugar into her second soda. While she was forced to watch football on a regular basis thanks to her fiancé, it still wasn't her favorite past-time. But since Kyle had been on duty tonight and she hadn't wanted to sit at home alone worrying about Max or wondering if she should go talk to Liz, she had jumped at the chance to join the guys.  
  
She [I]knew[/I] she should talk to Liz. She just hadn't worked up the nerve to do it yet. She would though. Really.  
  
Of course, thinking that way tempted fate. It was just Tess's luck that as her eyes passed the door they came into direct contact with Liz's.  
  
She watched the other woman's gaze widen in horror, drift to the right and take in Max, who was still unaware of her presence.  
  
Liz whirled abruptly, slamming into Alex, who was following her and causing their friend to exclaim in surprise. He saw Tess, Max and Michael, grimaced, but raised his hand in greeting, then gently turned Liz around and led her towards the bar.  
  
The commotion had caught Max's attention. Tess felt her friend tense up instantly.  
  
The relaxed mood was gone as simply as that. "Well, well," Max muttered under his breath. "If it isn't my prodigal wife."  
  
"Max."  
  
Max stood. He looked down at Tess, his expression blank. "I'm just going to have a word Tess. Isn't that what you told me to do?"  
  
"In a bar?" Tess demanded, standing as well. "Without thinking about it first? I don't think this is a good idea Max." She looked towards Alex and Liz, who were now at the bar. Alex was facing them, looking uncertain as to what he was supposed to be doing - whether he should ignore them as Liz now seemed intent on doing, or whether he should come and say hello. Liz was ordering with a very intent look on her pretty face. "Liz doesn't look like she's in the mood to talk."  
  
That was an understatement. Max's wife was evidently in the mood to drink. Liz had lined up three shots on the bar and was downing them in quick succession. As Tess and Max watched, she handed a fourth to Alex, picked up another one and clinked it with his before throwing back her head and slamming it.  
  
"Well, I'm in the mood," Max snapped, shaking Tess's hand off his arm.  
  
Tess sank back into her chair and met Michael's eyes, shaking her head sorrowfully.  
  
This was going to be all bad.  
  
***********************************  
  
The fourth shot almost took the edge off, Liz reflected. Almost. "I'll have another one," she practically barked at the bartender.  
  
"Liz, I don't think this is such a good." Alex was saying from behind her. "Oh man," he muttered abruptly, as though something had distracted him. Liz didn't turn but her friend's next words more than explained it. "Hi Max."  
  
"Hi Alex."  
  
Liz grimaced, closed her eyes for a moment. She knew the instant she had seen Tess and Max that they should have gone somewhere else. It was too late now though.  
  
She turned, scowling. "So, have you come to sign my divorce papers?" Liz demanded, deciding that she better be confrontational right off the bat. Otherwise she might start to cry. She should not have downed all that tequila. How could she have forgotten how getting so intoxicated so fast always resulted in her crying at the slightest provocation?  
  
And looking at Max now, remembering Maria's words, [I]If anyone should know how much Max loved you, it's you,[/I] she wanted to cry. She really did.  
  
Damn. She had known that those words were going to haunt her.  
  
Even though the expression of disapproval on Max's face now more than indicated that any love he had for her was strictly past tense. It was enough to make her want to start bawling.  
  
So much for drowning her sorrows.  
  
"Have you brought my money?" Max shot back, his eyes narrowed.  
  
"Oh man," Alex muttered again. "Max, don't do this."  
  
"Don't do what? Be mean?" Liz interrupted, turning her head and glaring at Alex. "Because Max isn't [I]mean[/I], is he? He would [I]never[/I] stoop to my level. Is that what you want to say Alex?"  
  
"Liz, I'm going to take you back to the hotel," Alex told her firmly, ignoring her confrontational tone. He sounded upset. It was enough to make Liz want to start crying again.  
  
Her friend's face was starting to swim in front of her eyes.  
  
"I'm sorry Alex. I love you. You know that right?"  
  
"Of course I know Lizzie," Alex soothed, bringing his arm around her shoulder. "Max, I'm taking her back."  
  
"Fine," Max said. "But I have a few things to say first."  
  
"Well I don't want to hear them," Liz told him, sticking her nose in the air. "You said enough this afternoon."  
  
"I didn't say what I [I]really[/I] wanted to say," Max replied softly. Liz tried to focus on his face, to see if he was mocking her. He sounded entirely too gentle. That was not right. He was supposed to be mean so that she could feel perfectly justified in demanding her divorce. He wasn't supposed to remind her of before.Of all the other times she had heard that gentle tone when he was addressing her.  
  
[I] Liz, I think that what I'm afraid of isn't that we try this and it works out really badly. What I'm afraid of is we try it and it works out really well. I'm afraid of feeling everything that I know I would feel. Because I know it's not meant to be. And somewhere down the line, we're going to get hurt. I can live with that. I just couldn't bear to hurt you.[/I]  
  
Liz shook her head firmly, trying to force his voice out of her mind.  
  
[I] The main thing is...I didn't just see what you saw. I felt...what you felt...when you saw me. And I never thought anyone could really...ever feel that way about me. [/I]  
  
She closed her eyes, barely resisted raising her hands to push him out of her head.  
  
[I]Whether I die tomorrow or fifty years from now, my destiny is the same. It's you. I want to be with you Liz. I love [/I]you.  
  
She could [I]not[/I] stay here any longer. She [I]needed[/I] her divorce and she needed it now. She had to get back to New York and Sean or everything she had fought for over the past four years would go down the tubes.  
  
She [I]had[/I] to get out of Roswell. Tonight. Divorced.  
  
He was getting to her and the longer she stayed here the more likely she was to give in.  
  
She could [I]not[/I] give in. She could [I]not[/I] do it.  
  
There was only one thing to do. It was dirty pool - literally - but she had no choice.  
  
Liz's eyes snapped open and she stared at Max. He looked concerned. "We don't always get what we want Max."  
  
"What?" His confusion was evident.  
  
"We both want something. We can't both have what we want."  
  
He narrowed his eyes again. "Your point being?"  
  
"I'll play you for it." Liz turned her head and stared at the pool table meaningfully.  
  
"For what?" His confusion was evident.  
  
"If I win, you sign my papers."  
  
Max's face became a blank mask as he realized what she was doing. "And if I win?" He almost whispered, sounding a little scared.  
  
"I tell you the real reason why I left." 


	9. Chapter 9

[u]Part 9[/u]  
  
"You want to [i]play[/i] me for it?" Max asked, his eyebrows raised in slight irritation.  
  
"That's what I said Max," Liz replied, nodding her head shortly to emphasize her point.  
  
She was trying not to, but she could still remember the first time she and Max had ever played pool. It had been on their first date. Right in this exact spot. It had been a magical evening to say the least. She closed her eyes as voices from the past echoed once more in her mind  
  
[i]"Ok, this is my favorite part. It says, 'This is the best night of your life.'"  
  
"Is that really what it says?"  
  
" Well, it's better than 'A broken clock is still right twice a day.'"  
  
"You're right. I like yours better."[/i]  
  
Shaking her head in a, by now, useless attempt to force Max's voice from her head, Liz leaned against the pool table as she felt her body waver slightly.  
  
"Liz?" Max asked, concerned, his hands shooting out to steady her.  
  
As he came into contact with Liz's arm, she was hit with another image. But this time it was different. This one was a flash.  
  
Of the [I]last[/I] time they had played pool together.  
  
Mr. Parker had put the pool table in the back room of the Crashdown as a surprise for Liz, for she and her friends to use. Liz had become quite fond of the game, and the table had been a present to her. She and Max had played many a game at the same table, and on this particular night, they had played quite a bit. Of course, it hadn't been just the brightly colored balls that ended up rolling around on the table that night.  
  
[i] "Is this how I do it?" Liz asked, feigning innocence they both knew was false, being as she was the one who had first taught [/I]him[I] how to play.  
  
"I can show you, but I'd have to put my arms around you," Max replied, a hint of a wicked smile turning up the corners of his mouth.  
  
"Well, as long as you promise to behave," Liz shot back coyly, batting her eyelashes wildly.  
  
"Sure thing," he said innocently.  
  
Max stepped behind Liz and put his arms out, letting them slide from her shoulders all the way down to her wrists. His grip on her hands tightened as he felt her relax against him. With purely innocent intentions, he placed a small kiss on the back of her neck, and the pool game was suddenly unimportant.[/i]  
  
Blinking her eyes, Liz jerked her arm from Max's grasp.  
  
"I can stand on my own," she snapped. "Don't touch me."  
  
Looking into his eyes, Liz saw hurt flicker across his face, at her having pulled away from him, as if she was afraid of him touching her. But just as fast as it had come, it was gone.  
  
"Liz, I'm sorry..I.didn't mean to," he said softly, so only she could hear.  
  
Liz looked at him and knew he had seen the flash too. He must have been thinking about it, and reaching out so fast to grab her, he had caused her to have a flash.  
  
The more she looked at Max, the more she wanted to blurt out the truth. To help ease the hurt that he could no longer hide from her. She couldn't quite believe she had bought his act earlier in the day. Maria was totally right. He had not changed one bit.  
  
More than anything, she wanted to explain things. Maybe even attempt to be friends.with the boy who had been her first love. Her realization earlier that day that Max had been nothing but a victim had haunted her thoughts. She could only imagine the heartbreak Max must have experienced at coming to New York to find her, but leaving without ever having made his presence known. Maria had told her that it had been three years ago when Max had come after her. That meant it had been a year after she had gotten to New York. And right around the time she had met Sean. Had Max seen them together? Had he seen them and assumed she'd forgotten her life in Roswell?  
  
If only he'd known. At that point in time, she was still trying to forget all about Max. She'd cut all ties with her former life, but Max had stayed in her thoughts constantly. Meeting Sean had been the final push she needed to forget Max.  
  
But it was turning out that she hadn't forgotten him at all, wasn't it?  
  
Since finding out Max had come after her, Liz had been plagued with one question over and over in her mind. [i]Had[/i] this changed anything like Serena said? Max hadn't given up on her. What would have happened had he confronted her in New York? It had been the hardest thing she'd ever done, walking away from a life that had made her happy, despite the reason why, despite knowing that she was doing the right thing. But if Max had come to her one last time, professed his love for her, begged her to come with him, would she have still been strong enough to resist? The question had rolled around in her mind, and she still hadn't been able to come up with an answer.  
  
And that made her angry.  
  
Why did this have to happen to her? She had a life she was happy with. Back in New York. Waiting for her return. A life which was the only reason she had come back to Roswell - so she could take the next step and make her new life permanent. But why was being back here, and back in touch with her friends, suddenly making her second guess herself? She had been prepared to come, to talk to Maria and Alex, demand Max sign the papers, and leave. She hadn't been prepared for the myriad of emotions churning within her since the moment she'd passed Mile Marker 285. And it frustrated the heck out of her.  
  
Right then, staring Max down over a grungy pool table amidst the smell of stale beer and cigarette smoke, Liz decided that the only thing that ever got her anywhere was attitude. And she was going to use it.  
  
"So, you game for this, Mr. Evans?" Liz asked sarcastically. "Or are you afraid you might actually have to sign those papers?" she demanded, casting him an angry look.  
  
She wondered if Max would play against her after what had just happened, after the emotions she had sensed in his soft voice. Had his anger suddenly disappeared? Would he be up to fighting her?  
  
"Of course not. Let's get this show on the road, [i]Mrs.[/i] Evans," he replied, turning Liz's own attempt at spiteful words back on her.  
  
Fifteen minutes later, the only ball left on the table was the eight ball. It had been the only ball for the last five minutes, but neither Liz nor Max seemed able to sink it, even with seemingly easy shots.  
  
Taking her shot and missing yet again, Liz sighed loudly. Then an idea came to her. Powers! How come it hadn't occurred to her before? She wasn't thinking clearly. Obviously the alcohol was affecting her, even if it hadn't affected the ease with which she played the game. Could she us her powers to swerve the ball in the right direction? Could she do it without Max seeing her, without him knowing?  
  
He would [I]never[/I]suspect. He didn't even know she had inherited some of his gifts. It was the perfect plan.  
  
It would provide her with an easy out. She could win the game, get her divorce papers, and leave town. But there would still be Maria, Alex and Serena. They would hound her until she broke down and told her secret anyway. And she knew with those three teaming up, it wouldn't be long until her defenses crumbled.  
  
Sneaking a look at Max, she saw him poised, ready to take his shot. Silently, he closed his eyes, as if he were asking for help.  
  
He sighed, opened his eyes, and sunk the eight ball with a clean shot in the corner pocket he had called.  
  
Standing up straight, Max stared at the pool table for a moment, then turned slowly, and Liz saw him raise his eyes to meet hers.  
  
She'd lost. She'd made a bet with Max, and she'd lost. She never lost at pool! Sean had bought her a pool table for her studio and she was as good as a pro at the game now. She thought betting on a game of pool would be safe for her.  
  
She wasn't ready for this. Telling Max her secret would no doubt open up all the emotions she had shut up inside herself four years ago when she'd made her agonizing decision. She couldn't handle those emotions right now.  
  
Looking anywhere but at Max, Liz saw faces from her past staring back at her. They looked just as anxious as Max did to learn the secret she'd withheld from them for so long.  
  
Michael was staring - no wait, glaring - at her, daring her to tell Max what she'd promised him if he won.  
  
Tess was fidgeting nervously in her seat, wringing her hands together, and switching looks between Liz and Max every few seconds. When her eyes locked with Liz's for a moment, Liz almost thought she recognized sympathy in her greatest rival's gaze.  
  
And Alex was staring at Liz with a deer in the headlights look, stuck somewhere between being as anxious as his friends to hear the secret, and being loyal to Liz and wanting to offer her comfort for the obvious distress she was feeling.  
  
Making a split minute decision, Liz turned on her heel and ran for the door, passing a very befuddled and surprised Maria and Serena on the way out.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Blinking her eyes, Tess watched as Liz ran from the smoky bar. She saw Michael get up to go after her, but Max held out his arm to stop him.  
  
"What are you doing, Max? She promised! She owes you an explanation!" Michael said, his voice raising in anger. "Let me go!" He hollered as Max gripped his forearm.  
  
"Don't Michael," Max said warningly. "This is none of your business."  
  
Tess got up from her stool and put one hand on Max's arm, one on Michael's.  
  
"She'll be back Michael," Tess said quietly.  
  
"How do you know Tess? It won't be the first promise she's broken!"  
  
"Don't ask me how I know. I just do," Tess replied. "Liz won't break this promise."  
  
"Max!" Michael said, turning to his friend.  
  
"She'll be back," Max said in a monotone voice, echoing Tess's words.  
  
Michael let out a breath and glared, then turned to the bar, picked up Ellie's seat, and walked out the door.  
  
Tess saw him pass Maria and stop briefly at the door, then walk to his car.  
  
She noticed another girl walking with Maria. She was certain she wasn't one of Maria's friends. She knew all of Maria's friends. But the girl did look very familiar.  
  
Then she remembered. This was the girl with Liz yesterday in front of the UFO Center. This must be one of Liz's friends from New York.  
  
She groaned inwardly as Maria pointed a finger at her, all the time not missing a step in making her way to where she and Max were standing.  
  
"You, missy, I will talk to later. I can't believe you would let these two bring my baby here! To a bar! I thought you were the sensible one," she complained.  
  
She pointed next at Max, without waiting for Tess to defend herself.  
  
"Max, Serena. Serena, Max," she said.  
  
Serena. So that was her name, Tess thought. Serena must have come to Roswell with Liz. She obviously knew why Liz was here. And somewhere deep down, Tess understood that Serena knew a lot more too. The fact that she would come all the way across the country with someone so she could get a divorce from her first husband in order to marry her second seemed to indicate as much. She knew Liz must have told her about her past in Roswell. And the way the girl seemed to be sizing Max up, Tess supposed Liz had told her [I]everything.[/I]  
  
But, oddly enough, it wasn't upsetting to Tess. She wondered why she instinctively trusted this girl, guessed it was how Liz had felt when she'd first met her too. It just made Tess more curious about the person who had stepped into Liz's life when she'd left her friends behind.  
  
"Here," Maria said, handing Max the envelope she had brought with her.  
  
"What's this?" Max asked, still somewhat distracted by the fact that Liz had run out on him.  
  
"The divorce papers Max. Sign them."  
  
Tess felt her heart drop as Max turned and looked at her, a hurt expression clearly evident in his face. She shrugged her shoulders slightly when Max seemed to be asking her what to do.  
  
Max turned around and Tess could tell by the heavy rise and fall of his shoulders that he was taking a deep breath.  
  
"Well, I'm sorry, Maria," Max said, thrusting the envelope back at her. "But I'm not signing these. I want to talk to Liz."  
  
"Oh, for crying out loud, Max," Serena said, raising her hands in the air. "How long are you going to drag this out? Can't you see how it's upsetting everyone?"  
  
"I don't even know you. What right do you have to tell me what to do?" Max demanded, clenching his teeth. Tess could see that he was starting to lose his cool. She didn't blame him. He was being asked to deal with an awful lot.  
  
"I have every right in the world," Serena replied, not backing down from Max's menacing stare. "Liz is my best friend. I came here to support her and that is exactly what I intend to do. She needs those papers signed Max."  
  
"I'm not signing them. I told Liz my conditions. She made me a bet tonight. And [i]lost[/i]. I'm not signing those papers until I get what I was promised."  
  
"Look Max," Serena said, her voice softening just a bit. "If you're refusing to sign those papers because you still love her, then do her a favor. Sign them. Make her happy. She needs them to move on with her life and she can't do that without your signature."  
  
Tess looked back and forth from Serena to Max. She was able to see where each of them was coming from. Serena was Liz's best friend. She loved Liz. She had been there for Liz when she had no one else and now all she could see was that her friend was suffering. The only answer she could see to that problem started with a pen and piece of paper and ended with a broken marriage.  
  
But just the fact that Serena was arguing for a divorce, on Liz's behalf, told Tess that maybe Serena didn't know exactly what it was she was fighting against. She hadn't been there from the beginning to witness any part of the magic that had once been Max and Liz. Even Tess, while she had thought that with Max was where she wanted to be, wasn't able to deny the unearthly connection between Max and Liz the first time she had laid eyes on them together. Serena hadn't been around when Max and Liz had fought so hard to stay together and she hadn't been there when the fairy tale had come to an abrupt end.  
  
Max, on the other hand, thought that he knew what was best for his wife. He thought the love he felt for her was enough to keep her loving him. He couldn't find it within himself to sign away all rights he had to the only girl he'd ever wanted. He was more than willing to put up a strong argument for her. In his mind, he couldn't accept the fact that maybe Liz was happy. With her new life and her new love. Without [I]him[/I]. He'd been nothing but heartbroken since she'd left and he wasn't able to see how she could be any less hurt by their broken relationship.  
  
Tess saw Max turn slightly to face Maria.  
  
"How could you do this? How could you ask me this? You know how I feel about her. I thought you were my friend!" he asked angrily.  
  
"I am your friend Max," Maria said, taking a step toward him. She reached her hand out in attempt to lay it on his arm, but Max flinched and jerked away from her. "Look Max, I care about you. You know I do. I care about Liz too though. With things like they are right now, you two will stay stuck where you are forever. Neither one of you is willing to budge. But I know you Max. And I [i]do[/i] know how much you love her. That's why I know you'll sign these papers. If you love her enough, you'll let her go," Maria said softly, compassion flowing with her words.  
  
Tess stepped up to stand even with Max and she offered her hand on his shoulder in a show of support. Because she could see that Maria's words were getting to him. He was actually considering it.  
  
"I can't, Maria, I just, I."  
  
"Look, Max," Serena said, her voice gentler than it had been before. "Liz is through with the part of her life that includes you. She's engaged to someone else. She loves [i]him[/i]. She doesn't want to be married to you anymore. She doesn't love you," Serena said.  
  
Tess looked at the girl, with wide eyes, at her having so bluntly told Max the truth she had been trying to prepare him for. That if Liz ever came back, she might not want to pick things up where she had left them.  
  
Max turned to Tess and she could see his golden eyes pooling with hurt. Anger. Frustration. Realization. She saw his eyes water with unshed tears as he finally accepted the fact that love of his life didn't love him back.  
  
He bowed his head, but not before Tess saw that he had accepted that it was really over. He had lost her.  
  
Tess squeezed Max's arm in support as he took the envelope from Maria, opened it, and took a pen out of his pocket.  
  
With a heavy heart, she watched as her best friend lifted a shaking hand and signed the papers that would make his wife a free woman.  
  
After he'd put his signature on the dotted line, Max stared at it for a second, then laid the pen down and stormed out of the bar.  
  
"Aren't you going after him?"  
  
Tess looked at Serena in surprise. The expression on the other woman's face was full of disdain.  
  
"He needs to be alone," Tess replied simply. "There's nothing I can do for him right now." Tess turned to Maria, anger that she felt so helpless at the moment igniting within her. "How could you do this, Maria? You know how hurt he was when she left. Why didn't you leave it up to her to get these papers signed?" She demanded.  
  
"Because I had a long talk with Liz. She [i]needs[/i] this Tess." Tess could see that Maria still felt guilty though. She had tears in her blue eyes too.  
  
"But why couldn't [I]she[/I] get them? Max trusts you. You're practically his sister-in-law! How could you just turn your back on his pain and ask him to do this?"  
  
"Because," Serena said, interjecting. "Liz isn't strong enough to argue back."  
  
"Excuse me?" Alex asked, speaking for the first time.  
  
"I've seen a different side to Liz since we've been in Roswell. It's not the same Liz I've spent the last four years getting to know. And the Liz that I know now isn't strong enough to fight for what she came for."  
  
Tess nodded, understanding. She glanced down at the papers, wished that she could burn them up with her alien death ray eyes - if she had them of course. She blinked as her gaze came in contact with the legal document though. She couldn't help it as the corners of her mouth turned up into a small smile. "Well then," she said. "Max still has hope. If Liz isn't strong enough to fight him, then there's something there she isn't telling you."  
  
"What do you mean?" Alex asked.  
  
"Did any of you actually look at the papers?" Tess asked.  
  
Maria, Alex, and Serena all shook their heads, matching looks of confusion on their faces.  
  
"I saw Max sign them," Tess said. "But the line next to his signature is blank. Liz hasn't signed her own divorce papers."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Sitting in the shadows of the alleyway outside the Crashdown, Liz was lost deep in thought. She had promised Max she'd tell him why she left if he beat her at pool And he had done just that. The fact that she'd run out on him didn't change her promise. She knew she needed to tell Max the truth. He deserved that much, at least. Then maybe, just maybe, he'd stop putting up a fight, and he'd sign the divorce papers she so desperately wanted signed.  
  
But the swirling whirl of emotions she felt rumbling inside of her was begging her to run and leave again, never to look back. She hadn't been prepared for anything she'd felt since coming back to Roswell. Least of all, she hadn't been prepared for the way Max had haunted her every thought. With every street, or building, or corner she passed, she was assaulted with memories of a happier time. When she and Max were hopelessly in love and still believed in happily ever after. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get away from him. As long as she was in Roswell, Liz was surrounded by Max Evans.  
  
She wondered if guilt was part of it. Maybe if she went to Max and told him everything and answered his questions, then she too could rid herself of the guilt she felt at having left them without even so much as a good-bye. As hard as she knew it would be for her, she knew that she had to do it. Even if facing Max would bring to the surface emotions she had fought hard to keep under control. If she didn't, she'd never be able to truly forget Roswell.  
  
Or Max, for that matter.  
  
Hearing a noise across the street, she looked up to see Max unlocking the door of the UFO center. She watched him walk inside.  
  
She continued staring for a minute and when she didn't see any lights come on and no one else follow him, she knew this was as good a time as any. Fate was intervening. She was [I]supposed[/I] to talk to him.  
  
Liz stood up, smoothed her rumpled jeans, and walked across the street.  
  
Trying the door first and finding it locked, Liz knocked softly. After she got no answer, she looked around to make sure the street was empty, put her hand on the doorknob and concentrated until she heard the click of the lock on the other side of the door.  
  
Walking into the lobby, she stopped and inhaled the familiar scent. It was intoxicating, just like the smell of old grease and coffee that always emanated from the Crashdown. They were smells that she was sick of and couldn't stand as a child growing up, having had to be around them everyday. But now, she realized that it was the little things, like the smell of plastic and disinfectant and old books that was the UFO Center reminded her of one thing.  
  
That she was home. In spite of all attempts she had made to forget it, Roswell was in her blood. This would [I]always[/I] be her home.  
  
Stepping into the lobby, Liz called softly for Max, and got no answer. When she walked into the main exhibit hall, she gasped in surprise, then held back the urge to giggle at a large alien head balloon hanging from the rafters, its features in shadow.  
  
Stepping around the main display, Liz's eyes came to rest on a small replica of the crash site, complete with an alien space ship embedded into the ground to resemble the famous event. She and Max had sat on the fake desert floor the night they had decided to get married, talking and reminiscing about their past, how they'd come to be together, and what their future might hold.  
  
They had talked about everything and Liz had laughed when Max told her that he had once used mud as a distraction to keep himself from thinking of her. He told her how during the Convention the year their lives had become connected, Michael had convinced him that thinking of mud would keep Liz far from his thoughts. But how, no matter what, every time he thought of mud, it reminded him of her.  
  
"I still think of mud every time I pass that display."  
  
Still smiling slightly at the memory, Liz turned around when she heard Max's voice from the doorway behind her. She saw him leaning against the door-frame, the light from the next room illuminating him from behind, hiding her view of his face.  
  
But Liz heard the underlying meaning.  
  
[i]I still think of [I]you[/I] every time I pass that display.[/i]  
  
"I saw you come in." Liz explained quickly. "I'm sorry, I knocked, but no one came. I let myself in."  
  
"I locked the door," he said.  
  
"I unlocked it."  
  
Liz saw Max's confused expression, as he had taken a step towards her and his face was not completely visible, but when he started to speak, she cut him off. She knew that he'd have questions about her powers. But they could wait.  
  
"I came here to pay you off for winning the bet, Max. I want to tell you why I left Roswell. And you." 


	10. Chapter 10

[u]Part 10[/u]  
  
"Kyle are you home?" Tess shut the door behind her and turned the lock, calling out for her fiancé. His shift ended at midnight, so he had to be there somewhere.  
  
"In the bedroom babe!"  
  
She found him flipping channels on the T.V. at the end of their bed. "What're you doing?" She asked, sitting down beside him.  
  
"Looking for the highlights," he said, his eyes shifting from the screen to her face. "What's wrong?" He demanded, hitting the power button. Silence fell over the room.  
  
"Cardinals lost," she said quietly, pulling off her boots and crawling up the bed to flop down beside him.  
  
"Somehow I don't think that's what has you so glum," Kyle replied, tossing the remote aside and turning on his side to face her. He reached out and pushed a stray blonde curl off her face where it had escaped from her braid.  
  
"Max signed the divorce papers," Tess admitted, sighing. "It doesn't look good Kyle. I think this might actually be it."  
  
Kyle frowned. "Well, that sucks for Evans, but it's gotta be a good thing that they're both going to move on." He stared at her for a long moment. "Isn't it?"  
  
"It's not," Tess replied firmly. "Because I'm beginning to think that Liz doesn't want to move on. She hasn't signed them yet."  
  
There was another long pause. "And you want to tell her the truth," Kyle finally finished for her. "Do you really think it's going to make a difference Tess? She must have figured it out on her own by now."  
  
Tess sat up, stared straight ahead, biting her lip, voicing the thoughts that had been swirling in her head the whole drive home. "I just don't get it Kyle. Something's [I]off[/I] with this whole thing. Because you're right. I mean, I can't believe that Liz hasn't confronted me about Eliza. Her existence basically proves that everything she told." Tess stopped, grimaced, wondered if Kyle had noticed the slip. "Er - everything [I]I[/I] thought the destiny book said was a lie."  
  
"You think there's more to it?" Kyle asked. He didn't sound suspicious, just curious.  
  
"There just [I]has[/I] to be." She paused. "Kyle, I've been thinking about what happened when Liz left town. With how she's been behaving, I think that I was wrong about [I]why[/I] she left. I don't think it had anything to do with me at all. I mean, I [I]know[/I] Max told her about it, but I just can't believe that he told her it meant they couldn't be together. He told [I]me[/I] then that he didn't buy it and I'm sure he said the same thing to her."  
  
"You don't know for sure? I thought Max told you everything."  
  
Tess was perplexed. "I thought he did too."  
  
"But why would he keep it a secret?"  
  
"He wouldn't," Tess replied firmly. "Which means that something weird is going on."  
  
Kyle groaned. "And which also means you're going to find out, doesn't it?"  
  
Tess scowled at him. "What is that supposed to mean? Of course I'm going to find out!"  
  
"Tess, you've spent the last four years feeling guilty about something that might not even be your fault. I think you should just stay out of it!''  
  
"It [I]was[/I] my fault," Tess argued. "More than you can possibly know. And I do owe Liz an apology, no matter what the real reason was for why she left."  
  
"Why can't you just leave well enough alone?" Kyle demanded. "I really don't think this is a good idea."  
  
"Kyle, you just don't understand," Tess exclaimed, jumping to her feet and starting to pace. She could feel his eyes following her, could feel his concern, like he was really worried that she was losing it.  
  
She [I]was[/I] losing it. She wanted to tell him the absolute truth. Finally, this was what was driving her so insane. She [I]wanted[/I] him to know.  
  
But how could she tell him when it was going to change everything he had ever believed about her? Because, she was finally beginning to realize that who she was today was in no way who she had the potential to be. [I]He[/I] was the only thing that kept her from turning into who she was beginning to suspect she might have been.  
  
Well, he and Max. The two most important people in her life. And neither of them knew the absolute truth. She had tried to put it out of her mind, had tried to forget [I]how[/I] she had finally managed to translate the destiny book. But she had started to suspect when Maria got pregnant that the source of her translation wasn't the most reliable person in the world. At first she had believed that the translator had just made a mistake, that it could all be explained easily.  
  
But, now.She was really beginning to wonder if she had actually been lied to. By the one person she should have been able to trust above all others.  
  
"Tess, tell me what the hell you're thinking!" Kyle was beginning to sound impatient and not a little mad.  
  
She swallowed, turned her head and looked at Kyle, who was definitely suspicious now. He could read her better than anyone these days. It was one of the things she most loved about him - how well he knew her. But it was at times like this that it could be frustrating too. She sometimes forgot how much of herself she had given to him when they had fallen in love. She couldn't hide from him like she used to be able to hide from everyone. When she had first met them all, the first time she had come to Roswell, they had all believed her to be one thing - a manipulative witch whose only goal was to drive a wedge between their close-knit group. While she freely admitted that she had not taken the best route towards making them trust her that first time, she hadn't really known any better at the time. And they hadn't known her at all. Not really. She was simply Nasedo's creation that first time.  
  
It was only when she came back to Roswell and she learned what true friendship meant that she was able to see that Nasedo's way was the wrong way. But it had taken a while even then. She could not deny that she had been secretly thrilled when Liz had so precipitously left town after her return. And, in the end, when she started to care so much about the others, she had started to think that Liz didn't deserve any of them anyway. Because if she did, wouldn't she have stayed to fight?  
  
But the Liz Parker Evans who had returned to Roswell was not entirely what Tess had expected. She was so desperate for her divorce and yet she forgot to sign the divorce papers herself? She wanted to be done with Max and, yet, she made a reckless bet with him whereby she might have to tell him why she left? And the weirdest part of all was that, as far as Tess knew, Liz hadn't even [I]reacted[/I] to the news that Maria had a baby fathered by Michael! It was the reason she had left Roswell in the first place - because she couldn't bear Max's child and according to the destiny book, he absolutely needed to be a father.  
  
Absolutely none of it made sense. It was like Liz was teetering on the edge of some kind of mania and Tess couldn't believe it had taken her this long to see it.  
  
Liz [I]wanted[/I] them all to know the truth about why she had left. And, yet, she was also clearly doing everything in her power to make it so that none of them would ask - or care - because of her strange behavior.  
  
What did it mean?  
  
The answer that was starting to dawn on Tess was so scary, she didn't even know if she would be able to deal with it if it was true. Because, while she did, to a certain extent blame herself for Liz's departure, until this minute she had never felt that she had done it with evil intentions. She had [I]truly[/I] believed that Max needed to father a child and that [I]she[/I] was the only one capable of providing him with one.  
  
Yet, she had developed a close friendship with Max, not a romance. Sure she hadn't allowed anything to go forward with Kyle until they had known about Maria's pregnancy, until it became clear that Max could actually have a child with a human. And this was where most of her guilt stemmed from after all. From the fact that she hadn't gone to New York to tell Liz the truth about the destiny book. But, then, Max [I]had[/I] gone after Liz that first time, had come back alone and he hadn't even wanted to talk about it then. This was even [I]before[/I] they found out for sure that humans and aliens could have kids together.  
  
What exactly [I]had[/I] gone down between Max and Liz during that New York trip? As close as they were, Max had never told her. Which was why Tess had been so shocked a couple of days ago when Max had told her that he and Liz weren't divorced. She had just naturally assumed that they had done it when Max had gone north three years before.  
  
If they hadn't, what had happened?  
  
Tess looked at Kyle, who was by now openly glaring at her. She wrinkled her nose. "Um."  
  
"Okay woman, out with it," Kyle growled. "You are clearly having some very deep thoughts in that pretty head of yours and I want in on them."  
  
Tess ran a hand wearily through her hair. She absolutely needed someone to talk to about this. She had already given Kyle the short version of the story. Maybe she [I]should[/I] tell him. Maybe he could work out this puzzle better than she could. Because with every minute that passed since Tess had noticed that Liz hadn't signed her own divorce papers, the more Tess knew that she just wasn't going to be able to let matters rest the way they were.  
  
She knew that Max was going to be furious at her. But she just could not remain inactive any longer. She had to [I] do[/I] something. And telling Kyle was the first step.  
  
"Kyle, did you think it was kind of weird that I never told you how I finally got the destiny book translated?" Tess blurted, before she could talk herself out of it again.  
  
Kyle stared at her like he was a little shocked at the complete change of subject, since he seemed aware that she had been ruminating about Max and Liz. "A little. I didn't think you were done telling me everything though. You implied that Liz left because you told her that aliens and humans don't mix, baby wise."  
  
"And I implied that it was why I felt totally guilty about why Liz left," Tess interrupted, thinking aloud now. "Because it wasn't true, as we know now because of Maria." She paused, collected her thoughts. "But here's the thing Kyle. I've felt guilty [I]all[/I] along. How does that make any sense if I truly believed that Max and I had to be together? Shouldn't I have only started feeling bad about it after you and I got together and Maria got pregnant? Because I've always just assumed that my guilty feelings were because I was wrong."  
  
Kyle was frowning, obviously confused. "Well, maybe you felt bad because Max was so devastated? I mean, you did care about him a lot. Even before you really knew him."  
  
It was the same conclusion Tess had reached, but it still didn't make sense. "That's what I thought. But I'm beginning to think that's not it either. Because Liz is just acting so peculiar. There [I]has[/I] to be more to why she left than just the baby. I think I know what it is. And it also explains why I have always felt so guilty. Because [I]I[/I] was responsible for her leaving - but just not how I thought."  
  
"Okay, what?" Kyle asked. He collapsed onto the bed, totally bewildered. "I have [I]no[/I] idea what you're talking about."  
  
Tess grimaced, knew that this was going to get even more convoluted before it started to make any sort of sense. He was going to think [I]she[/I] was the one who had gone absolutely bonkers before she was finished with him. But she knew now that she had no choice but to tell. First Kyle and then Max.  
  
While she had promised she would never tell, that had been before it had started to cross her mind that the translator of the destiny book might not be completely trustworthy. The whole problem with that line of thinking was that it made Tess even more guilty. Was it truly possible that she had turned out so horribly that she had come back to lie to [I]herself[/I] to achieve her own ends? And was it possible that she wasn't the only one who had met the translator? Had Liz been approached too?  
  
The sheer irony in the whole thing was that, if what Tess was beginning to suspect was true, why on Earth had [I]Liz[/I] of all people ever believed it? She should have been the [I]last[/I] person who believed it. Why would Liz Evans ever have believed Tess Harding on anything that had to do with Max, even if it was a Tess from the future?  
  
Tess sat down beside Kyle, sighing heavily. She couldn't even begin to unravel this herself. She [I]needed[/I] him. And if he ended up hating her because of it, well, there was no help for it.  
  
Because she could no longer live with hating herself.  
  
She had to tell him.  
  
Well, if she was going to do it, then she might as well do it fast, before she lost her nerve.  
  
"There was a very specific reason I didn't tell you who translated the destiny book," Tess began, her hands clenched in her lap, her heart beating a mile a minute. "I didn't think you'd believe me."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Well, I did it myself Kyle."  
  
"Oh. You think it sounds bad. Like maybe I'd think you made it up? The translation I mean?" Kyle sounded like he finally understood, like her guilt was beginning to make sense.  
  
"Not exactly," Tess replied. "I pretty much know now that I [I]did[/I] make it up. But here's the really weird part. [I]I [/I] didn't. I mean, [I]me[/I] me."  
  
"What?"  
  
Tess sighed again, smiled wanly. "So Kyle, tell me what you know about time travel."  
  
*********************************************  
  
Liz watched Max move past her. He was still staring at the crash display, his expression unreadable.  
  
"Did you hear me Max? I'm here to tell you the truth," Liz said quietly. She could see the tension in his back, wondered what he was thinking. She wondered if he already knew that she only intended to tell him part of the story, that she couldn't tell him everything. She couldn't be sure that it was what he was thinking though. This was the worst part about being back here. She hated how distant they were from each other, how quickly it had all come flooding back - how connected they used to be and how, now, they just [I]weren't[/I].  
  
She knew a lot of it was her fault. Most of it in fact. And if she could get a little absolution from him tonight, she might actually be able to look back on what they had shared with something approaching fondness, rather than the gut-wrenching, throat-closing pain she felt now. She hated that this was what their magical relationship had been reduced to - snapping at each other and making stupid bets and getting drunk so that they could exchange two civil words.  
  
They were not meant to be together - she knew that - but it didn't mean that she didn't want to be able to maintain some semblance of a relationship between them.  
  
"I know why you left," Max finally said, bringing Liz back to the situation at hand. "You thought that we couldn't have a baby together." He turned his head, looked at her, his eyes calm. "And I told you it was ridiculous, that we could adopt. So if that's the line you're going to feed me again, I don't want to hear it."  
  
"Max, you [I]know[/I] there was more to it than that!" Liz exclaimed, getting riled in spite of herself. "[I]You[/I] need to have a child of your blood. The whole world depends on it. I just can't believe that you and Tess aren't together! What [I]happened?[/I]"  
  
"I don't love Tess like that Liz," Max snapped. "Not that it's any of your business what I do in my love-life. Because clearly it's none of mine what you do, although one would think that a husband should be informed when his wife decides to get [I]engaged[/I]. I mean, I might have wanted to send a present!"  
  
Liz closed her eyes, sighing. She wasn't going to let him get to her this time. She [I]wasn't[/I]. He was trying to piss her off. She knew he was. He seemed to be as erratic as she felt - one minute sweet and gentle, the next just plain [I]mean[/I]. She couldn't handle it anymore. "Max, please."  
  
"I'm sorry." Her eyes snapped open and she stared at him. He was still looking at the display, his hands now buried in the pockets of his khakis. "I didn't mean that," he sighed. "This is just really difficult Liz."  
  
"I know." There was a long pause. "Can I ask you something?" Liz finally inquired tentatively.  
  
Max snorted. "I thought I was the one who was supposed to ask the questions." Liz could hear an underlying note of amusement though. He really seemed ready to try and have a civil conversation. "Fine, go ahead."  
  
"Did you [I]really[/I] come to New York three years ago?"  
  
There was another long silence. "So you heard about that, huh?" He sounded sheepish.  
  
Liz looked at him in surprise. "You did come? I don't understand. Why didn't you try and see me?"  
  
Max rubbed a hand across his face wearily. "I [I]did[/I] see you. You just didn't see me."  
  
"What?" Her heart started to pound as she frantically tried to understand why he hadn't spoken to her. What had he [I]seen[/I] that had stopped him?  
  
"I was waiting for you outside your building and you came home with that girl you brought with you here." Max began quietly.  
  
"Serena," Liz inserted, frowning, wondering where he was going with this.  
  
"And with [I]him[/I]."  
  
Liz felt her eyes widen with horror. "You saw me with Sean?"  
  
"Yeah." He shrugged, sounding pained. "I.You just looked really happy." He snorted again. "I was really surprised to see how happy you looked. I think I was shocked actually. I [I]couldn't[/I] talk to you. I mean, it's not that I wanted you to be miserable Liz, but when I saw you." He shook his head. "At that point, I felt like I was never going to laugh again. And there you were, having a grand old time, and it made me [I]really[/I] mad. I just knew that I couldn't talk to you when I felt that way."  
  
"Max."  
  
"So I came home," he finished. "Because I didn't like feeling that way. It was the worst thing in the world Liz, feeling like you had forgotten me so easily. It even made me hate you a bit."  
  
Liz knew that her mouth was hanging open in dismay. To think that he had seen that! She felt terrible about it. And the sheer irony was that three years ago she had still been as miserable as she had been the day she left Roswell. How he happened to come across the one time she might have allowed herself to feel anything but completely devastated.What were the odds?  
  
She didn't even know what to say to make it better. She was angry too thinking about it. How could he so easily misinterpret her? Hadn't he known her at all? How could he not know that leaving him had been the hardest thing she had ever had to do? That moving on was the hardest thing she had ever done? That she had known she had no choice because until she did, she absolutely knew that [I]he[/I] wouldn't?  
  
And he still hadn't! So clearly she had been right! She was just lucky that she had found someone as wonderful as Sean. She didn't think that she deserved to be unhappy for her whole life after all. She wasn't an evil person. She was just a person who had made the choice to let herself fall for someone else because she couldn't be with the one she knew was her soul mate.  
  
She wouldn't feel guilty about doing what she knew had to be and making the best of it.  
  
"Max, why do you have to make this so hard?" Liz whimpered. She shook her head, shocked that it had come out so pathetically. Strong! She was strong dammit! She cleared her throat, made her voice obey her. "Don't you know how hard it was to leave you? Whatever you saw, I wasn't really happy. But I'm [I]glad[/I] you saw it. Because if you'd come to me then, I would have gone home with you. And it just can't [I]be[/I]." She grabbed his arm, hoping to shake some sense into him. He looked at her in surprise, then stared down at her hand.  
  
A shot of electricity shot up her fingers, through her hand and up her arm, causing her heart to pound crazily in her chest. She quickly moved away again. God. How could he do that to her just by touching him? What was this between them?  
  
"So you came to tell me why you left," Max said in a monotone, still staring down at his arm. "I think you just realized why I haven't been able to move on. How can I move on when no one will ever make me feel the way you do?" He sighed again. "Just tell me if you have to. I'll give you whatever forgiveness you need and you can go back to New York and I can try and get on with my life."  
  
"Max, I can't have children." She blurted it out, just wanted it over with. It wasn't supposed to hurt this much. She was supposed to be over him!  
  
"Liz, I don't know why you're still harping on this," Max said impatiently. "I told you I [I]don't[/I] care. And it's not even true anyway. Look at Michael and Maria!"  
  
"You don't understand," she whispered. "I mean, I can't have kids with [I]anyone[/I]. It's a physical impossibility. The doctors have told me so."  
  
That was a lie. No doctor had ever said such a thing. She had been told that she was perfectly normal and, yet, she knew inherently that she would not bear children.  
  
She felt his shock, although she didn't look at him. She had forgotten how much it hurt to think about this. And here she was, talking about it twice already today. Most days she avoided thinking about it altogether. She swallowed, continued before she totally froze. "My body.it just won't carry a child to term. Any child."  
  
She wouldn't tell him the whole truth - that Max had completely changed her when he had healed her, not only giving her powers, but also making it so that she wasn't entirely human.  
  
She wasn't wholly alien, but she wasn't human anymore either. And, so, she couldn't procreate with either species.  
  
"God.Liz." She felt his hand touch her lightly on the small of her back. "I'm sorry."  
  
"I've accepted it." Liz tossed her head, lifted her chin. "Sean doesn't want kids anyway."  
  
There was a long pause. "Well, that's good.I guess."  
  
She turned and looked at him. "Max, please. You [I]have[/I] to move on. You have to have kids."  
  
Max stared at her. "So that really [I]is[/I] why you left. You [I]really[/I] believed Tess? That the world would end if we didn't have a kid? Liz, [I]Tess[/I] doesn't even believe that anymore! It was a ploy for God's sake!"  
  
Liz sighed. "Obviously, if she's moving on with Kyle." She had to make him understand, but still couldn't tell him the whole truth. She just [I]couldn't[/I]. He would never believe her anyway and things were messed up enough as it was. But she had to get him to accept his destiny somehow. He [I]had[/I] to be a father. "Max, have you ever just known something is completely true? It makes no sense, but you just [I]know[/I] it?"  
  
Max grimaced, nodded. "I knew that you and I were meant to be together." He laughed shortly, bitterly.  
  
Liz frowned. "Max, you have to listen to me. I don't care what you believe and I don't care what Tess thinks now. You [I]have[/I] to move on. You [I]must[/I] father a child. I just [I]know[/I] this is true." She paused, then went for broke. "If you can't sign my divorce papers for me, then do it for yourself. You [I]have[/I] to do this."  
  
Max was staring at her again. "You [I]really[/I] believe this stuff Liz? Really?" He paused, his eyes narrowed. "Does this have anything to do with how you got in here? That door was locked."  
  
Liz gaped at him. Trust Max to zero in on something she had forgotten about completely. It was why it was always so difficult to hide things from him. He could read her more easily and more quickly than anyone. "What do you mean?"  
  
"Liz, how did you get in here?"  
  
"I unlocked the door," Liz admitted quietly. "With my powers."  
  
Max pressed his lips together. He didn't even seem surprised. "And is this how you know that we can't be together? That I have to father this child, for some weird reason? A child that I don't want if you're not the mother?"  
  
Liz blinked. "Yes."  
  
In the end, the truth came out as simply as that. Liz Parker Evans knew that the world was going to end if Max didn't have a child. She knew this because she had [I]seen[/I] it. 


	11. Chapter 11

[u]Part 11[/u]  
  
"Well, I know that you need a really awesome machine to do it. Which, the traveler usually builds himself,might I add, and that when you do travel, you can't come in contact with yourself because."  
  
Tess couldn't help the giggle that escaped from her lips. She hadn't meant for Kyle to actually answer the question. It had been a hopeless attempt on her part to stall the impending conversation, and gain some sort of composure over herself. Because she was quickly losing it. But Kyle had taken the question literally. It was one of the reasons she loved him so much. He could always see the humor in any situation, but at this exact moment, that perk in his personality was more of a flaw. All she wanted him to do was be quiet and listen to what she had to say.  
  
"Kyle, I didn't mean for you to actually answer the question," she said.  
  
Kyle's mouth formed an 'O' shape, and he quickly let his sentence fade out. "Good, because time travel isn't really possible."  
  
Tess looked at Kyle, with a warning glare, silently willing him to be quiet. He must have gotten her message when he threw his hands up in defeat. "Oookay. Then just tell me what you wanted to say."  
  
Tess took a deep breath, and put her head in her hands. This was it. Her moment of truth. What she was about to reveal could make or break her. She could only hope it wasn't the latter.  
  
"Time travel is possible, Kyle. I know it for a fact."  
  
"Well, it wouldn't be the first impossible thing we've discovered to be possible, would it?" Kyle asked with a shrug of his shoulders.  
  
Shaking her head, as if she hadn't heard him, Tess stood up and stepped in front of Kyle. "I know this, because I did it."  
  
"You traveled through time?" Kyle asked, raising an eyebrow at her.  
  
Tess shook her head, realizing what she'd said hadn't come out how she'd meant it. "I mean, [i]I[/i] didn't do it, as in [i]me[/i] me, but I [i]did[/i] do it, as in [i]another[/i] me. Well, not another me, the same me, but a different version of me. A version of me from another time line. Another timeline's future, to be exact." Tess stopped talking, and turned to look at Kyle. He was obviously very confused.  
  
"I don't understand, Tess."  
  
"Kyle, before I came back to Roswell, I had a visitor. From the future. She told me things. How things turned out. What happened. And she told me how to stop them from happening. That's why I came back."  
  
Kyle shook his head, still not fully understanding. "You came back here because someone from the future told you to? Why would you believe someone you don't know, Tess? [i]How[/i] could you believe someone you don't even know? What if it was an enemy? A shapeshifter. What if it had been a trick?" Kyle asked, his voice edgy with emotion.  
  
"But that's just it, Kyle. I did know her. It was [i]me[/i]. A future version of myself. From 14 years in the future. I came - I mean, she came back to tell me what I had to do to save the world. That's how I know time travel is possible."  
  
"You saw.you saw yourself?" Kyle asked, his eyes wide with curiosity.  
  
Tess shook her head, and looked down at the floor. Had she seen herself? She had thought so at once. That the person who had come to her had been herself, from 14 years in the future. But now, she was almost positive that the person hadn't been her. Sure, it was a version of her. But the more she thought about it, the more she realized that it had been the Tess that she [i]had[/i] been. The Tess raised by Nasedo and left to fend for herself after his death. The Tess who had wanted nothing more in life than to be with Max and rule at his side as the Queen of Antar. It wasn't the Tess she was now. She now had people she loved and cared about, had people who called her family.  
  
The other Tess had never experienced such a thing. No, she was not the same Tess.  
  
Ultimately, the person she was now was obviously a lot smarter than the person who had visited from the future. Because, now, she was beginning to see the holes in the story. The things that didn't click. The loose threads that kept everything from coming together.  
  
She was beginning to see in fact that she [i]had[/i] been lied to. And, right then, Tess Harding wanted nothing more than to throw herself across the bed and cry. Not for herself, but for the Tess Harding that had come to visit her four years ago. She wanted to cry for the way life had treated her. How could fate have been so undeniably cruel to someone that they would eventually turn on themselves in a vain attempt to make sure things turned out differently? Letting her guard down for just a moment, Tess forgot what it was she was trying to do, felt her eyes filled with tears.  
  
"I'm a terrible person," Tess said, sighing heavily, talking to herself more than anything. Because if what she was suspecting was true - if she had come back from the future to lie to [I]herself[/I] - she was worse than terrible. She was also crazy.  
  
"Hey," Kyle said soothingly, reaching up and grabbing Tess's hands from her head, gently pushing back the loose wisps of hair around her eyes. He pulled her down to sit next to him. "Don't say that. I'm sure there's an explanation. Whatever's upsetting you, you can tell me. You know that, right?"  
  
Tess looked at Kyle, and couldn't help the single tear that ran down her cheek. She looked down at her fingers, toyed with ring on her left hand. Could she tell him? Could she tell him and still trust him to trust her?  
  
"Tess," he said, tipping her chin "I love you. Whatever it is that's got you so upset, you can tell me. It won't change what I feel for you." Tess felt her heart speed up as Kyle took her left hand and lifted it to her eye level. "This," he said, fingering the ring that she had been toying with only seconds ago, "is forever."  
  
Once again, he was reading her. She'd said nothing of her fears that if she told him the truth, he'd stop loving her. But he knew exactly what she was thinking.  
  
Tess leaned in to Kyle's embrace and looked up into his eyes, offering him a small smile. She could see it in his gaze. She could see what was always there, could see why she loved him so much. Acceptance. Faith. And, unmistakably, unconditional love. It was then, at that instant, that she knew she could tell Kyle. Because he would love her regardless. She never once believed that someone would love her that way. But Kyle did. Her heart swelled with love for the man that she would spend the rest of her life with. At least, if everyone else hated her, she would still have Kyle. She reached up quickly, giving him a tender kiss, then took a deep breath and leaned her head on hi shoulder.  
  
"At the time, I was renting a room at a boarding house. I came home, from going to get something to eat, and she was there. Waiting for me."  
  
Tess sucked in a deep breath, and watched as the scene played out before her eyes.  
  
Early Spring 2003  
  
Turning the key in the door, Tess opened it and stepped inside. She kicked off her shoes at the doorway that separated the bedroom from the main room, the only other part of the small space she now called home.  
  
Life had been hard for her since she'd left Roswell, and she hadn't been happy in what seemed like forever. She knew that her depression showed in her posture, her features and in her personality but she couldn't help it. She'd become something of a mystery to the other boarders, all of them wondering what brought so much sadness to the pretty blonde girl in 4A.  
  
Pulling off her jacket, Tess dropped it on the small card table in the corner and walked into the bedroom, heading for the bath.  
  
"Well now, is that any face to wear when greeting a visitor?"  
  
Tess stopped and jerked her head towards the chair in the corner.  
  
What she saw made her mouth open wide in shock.  
  
The woman sitting in the chair looked so much like her, it made her skin crawl. She had long, wavy hair, which hung loosely down her back. Her eyes were icy blue and her skin a pale, flawless white. Her long slender legs were thrown up on the bed in casual disdain, and were only emphasized by black leather pants that clung to every curve and were tucked inside black knee boots. There was a black trench coat slung over the bed, which had obviously once covered the red halter top she was sporting - the colour of which matched the blood red fingernails she was presently filing with a lack of concern.  
  
Tess immediately threw her hand up in a defensive stance. "Who are you? How did you get in here?" She asked forcefully, hoping her voice did not betray her fear. This had to be a shapeshifter. What did she want from her? Didn't she know that she had left everything she was meant to be back in Roswell, when she had told Max Evans to go screw himself? Of course, the fact that he had been screwing Liz Parker at the time immediately crossed her mind and just made her want to puke. She hastily pushed the thought away.  
  
"Who am I? Tess, darling, do you really have to ask?" The woman chuckled slightly, and rose up, pulling her feet from the bed to the floor. "Isn't it obvious?"  
  
Tess blinked her eyes, before narrowing them slightly at the woman seated before her. "I'll ask you again. Who-are-you?" She paused between her words to emphasize that she wanted an answer.  
  
"Tess, I'm you."  
  
Tess felt the floor spin beneath her and she fought to stay upright. "No, you're not. That's not possible."  
  
"Oh, but it is. You made it possible yourself. Well, actually, me, but it will be you. But if I have my way, it won't."  
  
"What are you talking about?" Tess demanded, taking deep breaths to steady herself. She could barely hear the woman, was listening through the blood rushing in her head.  
  
"The granolith. I modified it. Learned how to make it into a time machine of sorts."  
  
"Why?" Tess asked, lowering her hand, but still not letting her guard completely down.  
  
The woman reached into the pocket of her trench coat, pulling out a small silver book. She threw it on the foot of the bed, within Tess's reach.  
  
Tess gasped. She'd seen that book before. It was the Destiny Book.  
  
"Because the world was ending silly. I had to do something to save it. So I found a way to come back to you and bring you this. I have some things I need to tell you."  
  
"Why? I don't even know how to read this." Tess could feel her panic doubling, tripling. The end of the world? What was this woman talking about?  
  
"Here's the thing sweetheart." The woman's voice was kinder than it had been before, like she was remembering who Tess was at this time. Like she felt compassion for her. It made Tess feel strange, accepting that this was [/I]really[I] her. "You can read it. You've just forgotten how. I decoded it myself and I'm here to show you what it says."  
  
"I don't understand," Tess said, confused. "What did you come here to tell me?"  
  
"It's your destiny, Tess. I'm going to show you how you can save the world."  
  
Tess felt her heart speed up. Had the book really been decoded? If so, this could be what she'd been waiting for since leaving Roswell. Real proof of her destiny. Did this mean she could finally be with Max? Were all her dreams about to come true? All the hatred she had allowed to build up in her heart, the better to pretend she really didn't care anymore about Max, it faded away as though it had never existed.  
  
He could still be hers. Hell, he was hers. Who the heck cared if he had married Liz? Liz, perfect Liz, who had given up all her dreams to become Max's wife, if Pam Troy was to be believed. Liz, who had stolen Tess's place and had never deserved Max anyway.  
  
Tess reached out and fingered the small silver book. She let her fingers trace the royal symbol found on the front, and placed her hand over the cover, feeling the cool metal all but tingle beneath her palm. "What does it say?" She breathed, her hope overwhelming her caution.  
  
She never looked up to see the wicked gleam in the other woman's eye.  
  
"What did she say?" Kyle asked, softly.  
  
"She told me that she'd come from the future. And that before she'd left, Earth had been taken over. She said that everyone was dead. You, Alex, Isabel, Michael, Max, Liz - everyone. Our enemies were too strong."  
  
"Why would she come back to tell you [i]that[/i]?" Kyle asked.  
  
"Because, she said I was the only one who could stop it."  
  
"Stop it how?" Kyle asked.  
  
Tess knew him well enough to know that he was still confused. "She said that she came back to her past to change the future. Kyle, she had the destiny book. She decoded it. She knew what it said. She came back to tell me what was in it, and how I could prevent the deaths of millions of innocent people." And how Max could finally belong to me, Tess reflected guiltily. And that was really why I came.  
  
Kyle nodded, still trying to process so much information at one time. Tess watched the slight movement of his head, and went on.  
  
"She said that the reason the world ended was because of a prophecy that had never been fulfilled."  
  
"What does that have to do with you? Were you the prophecy?"  
  
"No, not exactly," Tess answered hesitantly. "The prophecy said that only a child born of royal Antarian blood would save the world from total destruction. It said that the child had to be fathered by the King of Antar."  
  
"Yeah, so, Max needed to have a kid. What was the problem?"  
  
"The problem was, he was married to Liz, and she can't have his children."  
  
"Wow," Kyle said softly. "That's terrible. Is Liz sterile?"  
  
"No," Tess answered softly. "She, I mean, the other me, told me Liz can't have his child because she's not a hybrid. She told me that hybrids can't have children with humans, only with other hybrids. She told me [i]I[/i] was the only one who could help Max fulfill the prophecy. That's why I came back."  
  
Tess heard Kyle's shocked gasp, turned to see the hurt, anger, and uncertainty flash through Kyle's eyes as he pulled his hands from her grasp.  
  
"You came back to Roswell to have a baby with Max Evans?"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Powers. I should have known. I mean, Kyle has some. It didn't even cross my mind to think that you'd have developed them as well." Max sounded more annoyed than anything, but Liz could tell it was at himself, not at her.  
  
"They were awkward at first because I didn't know how to control them. But I practiced, and I'm really good now. Except when I'm stressed out. Then they sometimes.act on their own." Liz grimaced. "I'm sort of like Michael that way."  
  
Max snorted slightly. "What can you do?" He asked stonily.  
  
Liz shrugged her shoulders. "Same things you can do. Change molecular structures, move things - little things. And I can heal small cuts and bruises too, but nothing more. I suppose that comes from you."  
  
"We all have one power unique to us. Even Kyle. What's yours?"  
  
"I see things, Max. Things that haven't happened yet." Oh could she see things, Liz reflected bitterly. Horrible things.  
  
"So, what, you can tell the future?" Max asked.  
  
"No," Liz answered, shaking her head. "When I touch certain things, or talk to certain people, sometimes I get flashes of things that haven't happened yet. I can't control when or how, or why I get them. I just.get them. The first time it ever happened was the night I left Roswell."  
  
"What did you see, Liz?"  
  
Liz started to speak, but stopped abruptly when her mind was assaulted with images she'd long ago locked away.  
  
Spring 2003 - Roswell, New Mexico  
  
Liz Evans opened the door to the small, yet cozy apartment she'd lived in since she'd married Max. It wasn't much, but the memories she and her husband had made there made it home.  
  
She put the groceries on the table and stopped long enough to sniff of the single white rose she found in the vase on the corner of the kitchen cabinet. He was always doing small things for her, always giving her a reason to smile.  
  
She began to hum to herself as she made her way down the hall to grab a clip from their bedroom to put her hair up so she could start on dinner. She smiled to herself, imagining Max coming home, felt his hands on her neck as he loosened her hair, kissed her neck. He always did that. Every single time. It was why she put it up in the first place.so he could take it down.  
  
As Liz passed the open door to the spare room, she froze, catching a glimpse of someone standing in front of the window. She stepped backwards, without bothering to turn around and narrowed her eyes at the back of the figure staring out of the window.  
  
"Who are you, and how did you get in here?" Liz demanded, then immediately cursed herself. What was she doing? She should have run straight for the door! Max was going to kill her when he found out she had just confronted a burgler. This could be more than a burgler too! They hadn't had any problems with the Skins since their enemies seemed to realize that Max was in no way going to pursue his throne, but maybe they had just been biding their time.  
  
She could hear him already. Liz! You take too many chances! Don't you know what it would do to me to lose you?  
  
"Well, I think that's kind of obvious, don't you?" Max flew from her mind as she recognized the voice.  
  
Oh God. Not again.  
  
Liz backed up against the wall in the hallway across from the door as it became clear to her who was standing before her. Those blue eyes. That white-blond hair. The unmistakable milky skin.  
  
"No, you are not Tess. You're a shapeshifter. Max is going to be home any minute! You can't get away with this." She was babbling. She knew she was babbling. But her worst nightmare was back and she just regretted she hadn't run. Why hadn't she run?  
  
Liz watched, confused, as the woman threw back her head and laughed at her. "I'm no shapeshifter, Liz. I'm exactly who you think I am. Only, I'm not the Tess you know. I'm here from the future."  
  
"That't not possible," Liz said, stepping away from the wall to get a closer look at the other woman, her curiousity getting the better of her.  
  
"Oh, it isn't now. But it is 14 years into the future. With the granolith."  
  
"Why?" Liz demanded, anger beginning to replace her fear.  
  
"Well, because I modified it. I gave it capabilities to-"  
  
"No," Liz snapped. " I mean, why are you here?"  
  
"Because I have something very important to tell you. Something that the future of Earth is depending on."  
  
"What?" Liz asked, her eyes wide with curiousity.  
  
"Here," Tess said, holding out her hand for Liz to take. "It'll be easier if I show you."  
  
Liz shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest, as she unconsciously paced back and forth in front of Max. The things she had seen that night had rocked her to the very core. They had been images of unspeakable horror, unimaginable heartbreak, and unfathomable pain. She had seen them once, and once only. That same night, she'd blocked the images from her mind, and hadn't been able to bring herself to deal with them since.  
  
She'd only thought of them once more, and that was the night she'd told Serena what had happened. And Serena had been kind enough not to ask Liz the real reason she'd believed Tess.  
  
It had been the only reason she'd believed the one person in her life she had never trusted before. Because Tess had not only told her of the things to come. She'd [i]shown[/i] them to her. Liz had reached out her hand and allowed a connection to form with the woman that had given her the news that shook her world.  
  
It was her fault. Her fault that millions of innocent people died, fighting a war that wasn't theirs to begin with. Her fault that everyone she'd ever loved had become a casualty in the war for Earth's freedom. Her fault that their tight knit group of friends had been destroyed by the events that eventually led to the destruction of everything they'd worked so hard for.  
  
Because she couldn't bear the child spoken of in the prophecy. Her body wouldn't carry Max's hybrid seed, and the child that was foreseen to save the world was never created. Simply because Max loved her and had chosen her over his destiny.  
  
That was why she'd left Roswell. And Max. So that he could move on with Tess, and produce the life of the person that would prevent the horror she'd glimpsed in the future from ever becoming a reality.  
  
"I won't tell you, Max. I promised I wouldn't ever tell anyone what I'd seen," Liz said softly.  
  
"You promised? Who did you promise? What happened that night, Liz? What made you leave what we had behind?" As Liz looked over at Max, she could feel the heartbreak in his words. She could see the pain in the defeated slump of his shoulders. She could hear the pain in the gentle timbre of his voice. "We had it all, what people spend a lifetime looking for. What would make you give that up?"  
  
"I found out that I could never have your kids, Max. I found out that because I couldn't have your children, our worst nightmare ended being a horrible, cruel reality that even [i]we[/i] weren't strong enough to prevent."  
  
This time, it was Max who shook his head, and looked at Liz in confusion. "But that's wrong, Liz. You know it is. You've seen proof. You've seen Ellie. She's part human and part hybrid. She blows your reasons out of the water."  
  
"That's not the reason, Max. Not because [i]we[/i] couldn't have kids. It was because I couldn't have kids. Not just your kids. Any kids. Period," Liz said, a hint of sadness in her voice.  
  
"But I told you, Liz. That didn't matter to me, you did," Max said, pleadingly. "We could have found a way."  
  
"But that's just it, Max," Liz said, throwing her arms out to her sides. "Can't you see? We [i]couldn't[/i] have found a way. Without the chosen baby, the one of your blood that would fulfill the prophecy to save the world, [i]no one[/i] could have found a way."  
  
Liz knew she was raising her voice, but it was a defense mechanism. She could feel the dam holding back her tears, crumbling and cracking. Everything was tumbling down on her, and everything she had thought she'd long ago accepted was falling down at her feet. Forcing herself to be angry was the only way she knew how to cover up her hurt.  
  
"We were the only hope, Max. You and your child were the only hope. The prophecy was never fulfilled, and the one person, the one life that could have saved millions was never created. Because you chose to ignore your destiny."  
  
"Because I chose you," Max said defiantly.  
  
Liz sighed deeply. Max was blatantly ignoring the fact that she'd just blasted him for choosing not to follow the path that his life had been predetermined to take. He'd always told her that they make their own destiny. And he believed he had made his own destiny the day he healed the bullet wound in Liz's stomach. Max had never accepted the fact that some choices had been made for him and had instead insisted on living his life the way he wanted. He would allow no one to tell him how his life was supposed to end up.  
  
And here he was four years later, still exactly the same, still unwilling to bend, still unable to grasp his own importance. How could she ever have thought he had changed?  
  
"Fine, whatever," Liz said, knowing that her frustration was evident in her voice. "But that doesn't change the fact that you need to have a child. Things can't happen the way they did the last time, Max. I know what will happen if that baby in the prophecy is never born. Things [i]can't[/i] turn out like that again. They can't! Trust me, Max. I've sent the what if. And I won't let it happen again! I won't!" Liz almost screamed, her eyes watering with unshed tears, her fists clenched at her sides.  
  
Max took a few steps and stopped just inches away from Liz's shaking form. "Tell me what you saw, Liz. Please, I need to know."  
  
"I'm sorry," Liz sobbed. Why she felt so much loyalty to the person she hated most in the world - Tess - she could not say, but she just [I]knew[/I] that she could not tell him. Even if it would convince him, she could not. "I can't."  
  
Max held his hand out to Liz, and motioned for her to take it. "Well, then," he said, his tone urgent yet gentle, pleading, yet demanding. "Show me."  
  
She blinked at him. "How?"  
  
Max gently placed both of his hands on her face, lowered his head and stared straight into her eyes. "You know how."  
  
And, then, he kissed her. 


	12. Chapter 12

[u]Part 12[/u]  
  
There was nothing else for her to do. Tess had to be honest. "Yes," she whispered, lowering her eyes. "That's why I came back."  
  
Kyle stood up, started pacing. "Okay, I'm calm. I am not going to throw a fit. I promised I wouldn't, so I won't." He was obviously talking to himself, not to her.  
  
"Kyle."  
  
"Be quiet Tess. I need to focus here. I'm having minor issues at the moment. Just let me deal with them."  
  
"Okay," she squeaked, her heart beating rapidly in her chest.  
  
He stopped pacing, stared at her. "I can't believe you've never told me this before! I just cannot believe it!"  
  
Tess grimaced. "I'm sorry," she said in a small voice. "I.I didn't really think it was that important."  
  
"Not important? On what planet?" Kyle threw his hands into the air to stop her from answering. "Wait! Forget I said that! Being an alien is no excuse for not thinking I didn't need to know about this! A future version of yourself came back to tell you that you have to have a kid with another guy and you somehow don't think this is important?"  
  
"Well, clearly it didn't happen," Tess flared. She wrinkled her nose. "Actually the thought of it kind of makes me ill. Maybe I just wanted to forget. I don't like thinking about the fact that I once actually thought I had to sleep with someone who is like my brother."  
  
"Hello? Earth to Tess!" Kyle smacked the side of his head, as though trying to clear his ears. "Am I hearing you correctly? You decided to just [I]screw[/I] saving the world because you had a problem with screwing Evans?"  
  
"KYLE!"  
  
"Well, I'm just saying."  
  
Tess narrowed her eyes at him. "Are you saying that you don't actually have a problem with the fact that I came back to have a kid with Max? That you [I]actually[/I] have a problem with the fact that I [I]didn't?[/I]"  
  
Kyle glared at her. "I just don't get it Tess. The end of the world seems like a pretty damn good reason to take one for the team."  
  
Tess jumped to her feet. "I cannot believe this! Are you insane? I fell in love with [I]you[/I]! I wasn't going to sleep with someone else!" She stormed past him and into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. Bracing her hands on both sides of the sink, she stared at herself in the mirror.  
  
This was the worst possible reaction she could have imagined. Kyle wasn't upset because she'd come back for Max. He was upset because they hadn't ended up together. What the hell? Why was she marrying someone who clearly didn't give a rat's ass about her? She wrenched the engagement ring off her finger, held it poised over the toilet.  
  
Dammit! Why was she crying? He did not deserve her tears. He was a complete jerk! He was supposed to be relieved, [I]honoured[/I] that she chose him over her destiny. What the hell was wrong with him?  
  
Tess turned and scowled at the door when a soft knock came a moment late. "Er, babe." She shoved the ring back on her finger and plopped herself down on the edge of the tub. She didn't answer, just pressed her lips together.  
  
"Tess, I may have let."  
  
"GO AWAY!" She screamed at the door. "I'm not kidding Kyle. I'll use my alien death ray eyes on you if you don't! I will! I swear to God!" Tess took several deep breaths, forcing herself to calm down. He was the only one who had ever been able to get her riled like this. She usually gave Isabel a run for her ice queen money, which was why the fact that she had melted so completely for Kyle had been such a huge deal for her.  
  
And he didn't even care.  
  
There was a long pause. Finally she heard him moving away from the door. "I'm going out!" He yelled.  
  
"Fine!" She replied. "Go!"  
  
Tess pressed her ear up against the door, listened for the sound of the front door slamming. She waited another five minutes for good measure, then cracked open the bathroom door. A thin thread of light appeared, which was instantly blocked when a hand thrust its way past her and wrenched the door open.  
  
She stood staring at Kyle in dumbfounded shock. "What.where did [I]you[/I] come from?"  
  
Kyle raised an eyebrow at her. "You really thought I was going to leave after being such an asshole?"  
  
"I [I]heard[/I] you go!"  
  
"I'm a cop. I [I]can[/I] be stealthy you know!" She stared at him in disbelief. "I [I]can[/I]!"  
  
There was another long silence as they continued to stare at each other. Tess finally couldn't take it any longer. "Why? Why would you say such a horrible thing to me?"  
  
Kyle reached out, touched her cheek. "I'm an ass."  
  
"Well, I know that. I want to know why," Tess insisted. "Kyle, do you understand that there was no way I could have made another choice? It would have been wrong for Max and I to have a child together. We don't love each other - at least not like that."  
  
He sighed. "I know that. I just.I think I was just so shocked. I mean, I can't believe it almost."  
  
"Believe what?" She asked, confused. Kyle sounded vulnerable, like this was about a lot more than the end of the world.  
  
"You actually chose me over him. Someone actually chose [I]me[/I]."  
  
Tess blinked. "I don't understand. Kyle, of course I chose you over him. I'm engaged to you."  
  
"Well." He looked so ashamed, Tess actually felt sorry for him.  
  
"Kyle, what? Tell me!"  
  
"Tess, I always thought that the only reason you chose me was because you couldn't have him. I mean, he is still so hung up on Liz, I thought you just gave up and went with the next best thing."  
  
Tess's mouth had fallen open at the end of his first sentence. "Are you crazy?" She asked in dismay. "That's what this is about? It took this for you to actually understand that it's [I]you[/I] I love?"  
  
Kyle grinned slightly, his charming smile, trying to smooth things over. "I'm thinking the fact that you are risking the end of the world to be with me has convinced me."  
  
Tess continued to glare at him. "This is [I]not[/I] funny! I cannot believe you!"  
  
Kyle stopped smiling. "I know it's not funny. And I am so sorry."  
  
She brought her arms up, wrapping them around her, suddenly cold. "Kyle, I don't know.I mean, do you know what this means? It means that you don't really believe in me at all!"  
  
"Tess, I am so sorry. Please. You have to forgive me. I was completely shocked and I think it just all came back to me. It just came out. I mean, I haven't really [I]felt[/I] like that in a long time - I love you so much and I'm so happy! - but it's a dirty little secret of my own. One I think I needed to just let go. And it happened that way." His tone was pleading but Tess could feel her heart breaking anyway.  
  
He had thought that he was second best. He had truly believed that she was an awful enough person to get engaged to him because she couldn't have who she really wanted! How could he have thought that about her? He didn't know her at all.  
  
[I]You don't know yourself at all,[/I] a small voice in the back of her head reminded her. [I]And you're only just beginning to get that. How can you expect Kyle to get it?[/I]  
  
It was the whole truth. The fact that she was beginning to understand that the future version of herself, the one who had told her the lie about the prophecy and Liz's capability to fulfil it, had lied to her. How could she understand a person - herself! - who had turned out that way? Who had come back and [I]lied[/I] about something as horrible as the end of the world in order to get what she wanted? Which in the end, hadn't been what she had wanted [I]or[/I] needed at all.  
  
But if she hadn't come back, Tess never would have returned to Roswell and she never would have fallen in love with Kyle. Which meant that she [I]would[/I] have turned out that way. Future Tess had changed things - had changed her life - just not in the way she had imagined she would.  
  
And Tess couldn't help but be a little bit happy that she had come, in spite of what had happened to Max and Liz. Because if she hadn't, she wouldn't be in Roswell right now. And she would have turned out that way.  
  
Her guilt was beginning to become so deep and complex, she couldn't even begin to grasp it anymore. She was having such an identity crisis, it was no wonder that Kyle didn't know what to think.  
  
Yet, she was still hurt. Because he was the one person she had thought got her even better than she got herself. And that had been a lie too.  
  
He was what she needed and somehow, in some way, she had failed him. Because he hadn't really believed it until he thought she had risked the end of the world to be with him.  
  
"Can I just ask you a question?" Kyle said quietly, after the silence began to feel uncomfortable. She was relieved that he said something, because she had no words. She had absolutely no words. For the first time since they had met, she had no idea what to say to him.  
  
"Okay." Tess knew she sounded shell-shocked, but she forced herself to listen.  
  
"What.I mean, how did you figure out that Max wasn't for you?"  
  
Tess closed her eyes, swallowed, but decided she could at least give him that much. Since she obviously hadn't been giving him what he needed for their entire relationship. "It was at the Crashdown one night, hanging out with Isabel, but we weren't really friends yet. She was sort of just doing her duty. You and I hadn't even gone on a date yet. I had only been back for a couple of months then and Max was just being [I]so[/I] difficult. He still wouldn't even talk to me."  
  
"So, you gave up?"  
  
"No, that's not what happened. I was so unhappy." Tess recalled it like it was yesterday. "I was beginning to feel like maybe that future version of me had been wrong. I mean, if it was meant to be, it shouldn't be so [I]hard[/I], you know?"  
  
"I know."  
  
"So you came in and you sat with us and you just started cracking jokes. Even Isabel was laughing, which is saying a lot. I don't even know what you were talking about. I just remember laughing so much too. And then Max came in and I realized that he hadn't even crossed my mind in like half an hour. You had preoccupied me so much, I had stopped thinking about him. Which [I]never[/I] happened then. I was so focused on what I thought had to be."  
  
Tess raised her head, looked Kyle directly in the eyes. "I realized that I had never once laughed in Max Evans's company. That he was never going to unbend enough with me for it to happen. That I [I]didn't[/I] feel comfortable enough with him to make [I]him[/I] comfortable enough."  
  
"So because Max isn't a laugh-riot, you feel in love with me?"  
  
"I fell in love with you because I was comfortable with you. You made me [I]happy[/I]. He just didn't. I didn't love him. Not like that."  
  
Kyle sat down on the edge of the bed, a truly perplexed expression on his face. Tess moved to join him, sat carefully, making sure not to touch him. She couldn't touch him. She still felt too raw, too hurt.  
  
"But, really Tess.the end of the world?"  
  
"Kyle, I just knew that it wasn't going to happen. That something that felt so right - being with [I]you[/I] - couldn't be wrong," Tess said firmly. "I finally understood what Max felt for Liz because I had found it myself." She paused, then admitted, "Which is why I can't believe I didn't go to New York to fix things between them before it was too late. This is [I]all[/I] my fault."  
  
Kyle reached out, took her hand and squeezed. "Well, there's no doubt you played a part in it, but I don't think it's your fault babe. They both had a hand in it too."  
  
"Kyle! That future me had to have talked to Liz! There's no other explanation for why she ran off like she did. I [I]know[/I] for a fact that Max told Liz flat-out after I first came back that he didn't care about what the book said - that I was lying. And she believed him at first. And then she left. There had to have been a reason." Tess shook her head, her despair and guilt beginning to overtake her again. "It was [I]my[/I] fault. She might not have been me exactly, but it was still a Tess. I have to take responsibility for who I might have become."  
  
"Okay, now that just makes [I]no[/I]sense," Kyle snapped. "Tess, it really doesn't. You don't even know for sure that Liz met up with Future You." He frowned. "And I'm still not convinced that it wasn't a shapeshifter. I mean, here we are, engaged, no hybrid baby on the way and I still feel pretty damn safe. I don't feel like the end of the world is nigh."  
  
Tess stood up, kept her back to him. "Kyle, I don't know if I can do this." She couldn't believe that the words were coming out of her mouth, but she knew in her heart it was true. "You don't really think I love you."  
  
"What?" She heard Kyle jump to his feet. "Tess, I'm an idiot. Forget everything I said before. I [I]know[/I] you love me!"  
  
"Yeah, [I]now[/I]!" Tess flared, whirling. "But you didn't half an hour ago. Half an hour ago, deep down, you thought that you were my second choice." She pulled at her braid, letting her blonde hair fall around her shoulders so that she could run her hands through it more easily in her frustration. "Kyle, how am I supposed to get past that? The fact that you didn't believe in me?"  
  
"Tess!"  
  
She stared at him, could see from the look on his face that he really couldn't believe that she was making such a big deal out of it. "I need to be alone for a while," she said, amazed that she sounded so calm. Her heart was screaming at her to stop being an idiot, but her head needed a little distance. She needed to think this through. "I'm going over to Isabel's. She'll let me sleep on her couch tonight."  
  
"Tess, don't do this! Let's talk about this!" Kyle insisted, following her through the darkened apartment.  
  
"Don't you get it?" She softened her voice, stopped and touched his face. "I can't talk about it right now because I haven't quite grasped what it even means at the moment. I know I love you. I've always known that. And I know that I'll get over this. But I need a few hours. Do you understand?"  
  
Kyle sighed. "I guess I can deal with that. But please Tess! You have to remember that none of it really means anything. I love you. I was [I]willing[/I] to be second best. I didn't care. At all."  
  
Tess smiled slightly. "Kyle, I get that. But, see, I don't want you to settle for being second best. About anything. And it kind of hurts me that you were willing to allow it. You should have confronted me or talked to me about it.or something. I just feel like there was this white elephant hanging around that I never even saw and that hurts. I need to know that you're always completely honest with me about how you feel."  
  
She leaned up, kissed him lightly on the lips. "I'll be back Buddha Boy. I just need a little space and some girl talk."  
  
Kyle shook his head. "Okay, but call me when you get there."  
  
"I will." Tess moved towards the door. "By the way, I'm going to go talk to Max tomorrow morning - tell him what I think happened with Liz. Maybe he can confront her about it."  
  
"What about Liz?" Kyle asked carefully. "Are you going to try and talk to her?"  
  
Tess closed her eyes again, briefly. "I'm scared to."  
  
"You don't want to know for sure that you would be capable of doing something like that? That the Future You [I]did[/I] talk to her." Kyle guessed, sounding upset on her behalf.  
  
"I guess not," Tess replied. "But I'm beginning to realize that sometimes it's just better to know the unpleasant things up-front. Because secrets only hurt people."  
  
Kyle flinched slightly, seeming to think there was a double meaning in her words, but she hadn't meant it that way. She felt a pang of guilt, but just really didn't have the energy to deal with any of it at the moment. "I'll call you later."  
  
And, with that, she left him standing in the darkened hallway alone.  
  
**********************************************************  
  
Liz gasped against Max's lips. For one split second, she almost melted against him. But she had been ready for him to try something like this. The air between them had been fully charged for a long while now. It was only a matter of time. She had been tempting fate by staying to talk to him at all.  
  
She slammed down on her emotions instantly, not allowing him access, and then wrenched away from him.  
  
Liz had done a lot of things she was not proud of to make sure that he never had to go through the hell she had with those visions. She never wanted him to know what [I]their[/I] once fairy-tale love had been capable of creating. "Max! What are you doing?" She screeched, deciding that anger was the best path, as always. She needed to keep him at a distance.  
  
He was [I]not[/I] for her. And allowing him to even kiss her once would make him think that she might bend, that she might allow him to convince her to try again.  
  
It could not be.  
  
Liz managed to raise her eyes. He was staring down at her, his expression shuttered. There was nothing there at all. She couldn't tell if he was trying to hide hurt, disappointment or anger.  
  
For one split second, she wondered if he had seen something. Maybe he was in shock. Maybe he was trying to hide how in shock he was so that she couldn't use it against him, couldn't say "I told you so! We don't belong together!"  
  
Because if there was one thing Liz had learned from Max tonight, it was that he was not ready to let her go. Not by a long-shot. Four years later and, although she had broken his heart, he was just as devoted to her as ever. He was angry and, in some ways, hated her. But he still loved her too.  
  
And, God help her, she still loved him. In spite of Sean, in spite of the fact that he made her happy and that she loved him too, there was no question that she was still in love with Max. What other explanation could there be for the fact that it had taken her four years to even approach him to get a divorce? Why would she have come herself if not to find out that he still loved her too? Why did she care so much that she was hurting him so badly?  
  
"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "That was out of line. It won't happen again."  
  
Liz frowned slightly. He sounded kind of weird. She wondered again if he had gotten a flash in spite of the fact that she had refused to allow the connection to start. "I better go." She didn't move. Her feet seemed frozen to the ground.  
  
"I guess so," Max replied.  
  
"Will you think about what I said? Will you think about trying to move on?" Liz implored, not turning, still unable to leave his presence.  
  
"Liz, if you won't let me in, if you won't show me why you think this is so important, I can't promise you anything," Max answered, his tone even. "But I promise I won't try again to convince you to give me another chance. That I will promise you."  
  
Liz closed her eyes briefly. "Thank you." Even to her own ears, her tone sounded hurt. How could she be hurt because he was giving her what she wanted?  
  
"Maria has your papers." Liz's eyes snapped open and she stared at him. His gaze was still steady on her face. "I signed them." She watched in dazed fascination as he reached out and gently pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear. "Be happy Liz. That's all I want for you. If this is really what you want, then be happy."  
  
There was nothing else to do but turn and walk away. She felt like she was walking to her death, but she did it. She actually left him standing there.  
  
She knew that if she stayed for one more minute she would throw herself into his arms and damn the world to it's fate.  
  
She had not choice but to leave.  
  
Liz pushed her way into the Crashdown, tears brimming. She blinked at the sight that greeted her. "Maria! It's two-thirty in the morning!" When she saw Serena sitting in a booth, she realized that she wasn't even staying at her parents', that she should have gone back to the motel and that it was where Serena was supposed to be too.  
  
"Chica, Serena called me when you didn't come back to the motel and we came here," Maria said, jumping to her feet from the stool on which she sat. "We just knew where you went." She glanced over her shoulder. "Liz, we need to tell you something."  
  
But Liz couldn't hear anymore bad news. Not right now. She collapsed against Maria. "God. I can't believe this still hurts so much," she sobbed. "How can it still hurt so much after so much time?"  
  
Maria stroked her hair comfortingly. "I'm sorry sweetie. But it's over now. He signed the papers."  
  
Liz barely heard her though. "How can he still love me after everything? I just don't understand it. Why does he think I'm so special? I'm such an awful person Maria! Why can't he just let go?"  
  
"Because he's Max," Maria whispered. "Liz, if you want to move on with your life, that's fine sweetie. But you're going to have to deal with the fact that he just [I]won't[/I]. He never will Liz. He has never loved anyone other than you and he never will." She pulled back, put her hands on both sides of Liz's face. "Lizzie, you [I]need[/I] to listen to me now though. You need to pull yourself together."  
  
Serena was standing nearby, a pained expression on her face. "Liz, really, you [I]need[/I] to know something."  
  
Liz blinked, her vision blurry. "Why?" She demanded. "I can't take anything more! Not tonight. I just [I]can't[/I]." And, yet, the looks of desperation crossing the faces of her two best friends made her heart start to thump in dismay. "What?" She asked quietly. "What is it?"  
  
She glanced past her oldest friend when she realized that the swinging door to the back room was opening. Liz took a hurried step backward, her mouth falling open in shock. "Oh my God!" Liz gasped, her hand flying to her mouth. She collapsed onto one of the stools.  
  
"Well, that wasn't the greeting I was expecting. I thought it would be a surprise but I didn't expect you to keel over in shock." He sounded flabbergasted, not a little hurt. Liz had never expected that there would come a day where she would not be happy to see him, but it had actually happened.  
  
Because there he was, just standing there. The one person in the world who could make this situation worse.  
  
It was her fiancé. 


	13. Chapter 13

[u]Part 13[/u]  
  
"Sean? What are you doing here?" Liz asked, turning her reddened eyes up towards him.  
  
"Well, it's great to see you too, Liz," Sean said a bit hesitantly.  
  
Liz took a deep breath and tried to ignore the slight sense of panic welling up in her chest. How could this happen to her? She'd been careful not to leave any word behind at work about where she'd be. She'd told Sean she wanted to do something for the wedding, and that it was a surprise, which wasn't totally a lie. She'd planned to think of something she could get for Sean to bring home to him, planned on telling him it was an early wedding present. She did need an excuse to get out of town after all. So, she'd covered all her tracks. How had Sean known where to find her?  
  
He was only going to complicate things. She'd never told Sean she'd been married before, the right time having never presented itself. He was bound to have some questions she wasn't sure she could answer at the moment.  
  
Liz shook her head, mentally berating herself for greeting Sean so rudely. After all, it wasn't [i]his[/i] fault that she was going to have some heavy explaining to do. That one was all hers. "I'm sorry, Sean, I'm just exhausted," Liz said as she stood up from the stool and crossed the room to where he was standing. She hugged him, and a soft smile fluttered to her features when she felt his arms tighten around her shoulders.  
  
"How did you know I was here?" Liz asked against Sean's chest.  
  
"Well, I called your studio, and no one knew anything. When I couldn't get a hold of Serena, I figured she was with you, so I contacted her office. They said she'd gone to New Mexico. I remembered you were from Roswell, so I figured you'd come back to tell your parents, see some old friends or something."  
  
Liz kept her eyes closed, all but sensing one of the questions she knew Sean would have was coming.  
  
"Liz, honey, I looked everywhere for a Jefferey and Nancy Evans listed in Roswell. I was going to come to your house and surprise you. There's no listing anywhere in New Mexico, much less Roswell. How come your parents don't seem to exist?"  
  
"Sean, I know I have some explaining to do, and I know you have some questions that need to be asked. I can give you answers. But I'm afraid if I don't get some sleep, I'll be a dead woman walking. Can we talk tomorrow?" Liz asked. She turned her face towards Sean, trying with every bone in her body to make herself look as tired and exhausted as she felt. Relief flooded through her body when Sean's face softened and his shoulders slumped slightly.  
  
"Sure, darling. You look tired." He kissed her on the forehead. "Let's go back to the hotel. I'm booked at the same place you and Serena are staying."  
  
Liz nodded, and turned back to Maria. "Maria, I'll see you tomorrow, all right?" Liz said, giving her friend a quick hug.  
  
Liz turned, following Sean and Serena out of the Crashdown's front doors. And as she followed them to the car, she couldn't help but glance over at the UFO Center. And for a split moment, Liz Evans wanted nothing more than to run back inside and fix what had gone so wrong between her and Max. But as quickly as the thought had come, it vanished. Because Liz Evans was not a selfish person. She wouldn't risk the end of the world because she wasn't strong enough to do the right thing.  
  
Thirty minutes later, after arriving at the motel, Liz said good night to Sean, and headed towards the room she shared with Serena as he headed into the room he'd rented for himself.  
  
Taking a moment to relax against the door to her room, she watched as Sean made his way across the parking lot, and smiled when he turned and waved at her before heading into his own room.  
  
Closing her eyes and breathing a deep sigh of relief, Liz was glad that she and Sean had made the decision long ago not to share a bed until after they were married. If things between them had crossed that line, it would have made things much more complicated than she was willing to let them get.  
  
When she'd met Sean four years ago, they'd been nothing more than friends, despite his relentless pursual of her. It wasn't until almost two years later she'd broken down on the side of the road and been rescued by Sean. Since then, they'd been happy together, but when the issue of sex had come up, she'd made the suggestion that they wait until marriage. She'd never expected Sean to agree so quickly, but when he had, she didn't ask questions. She guessed he assumed she was a virgin and that she wanted to wait until marriage. But only Liz knew the real reasons.  
  
What would sleeping with Sean do to him, given the status of her still developing powers? What if something happened that she couldn't control? She didn't even know if her powers could harm Sean, or if she could control them well enough to make sure they'd stay hidden.  
  
That, and despite the fact that she had left him behind and didn't love him anymore, Liz had only shared a bed with one other person, and still couldn't imagine sharing one with anyone else. She had never expected things between she and Sean to get as serious as they had, and she knew she'd have to get over her qualms about sleeping with Sean. If she refused to sleep with him on the honeymoon, it would certainly mean he'd have questions. And she wasn't sure how she would answer them.  
  
She undressed and collapsed into bed, turning on her side, and hugging the extra pillow close to her stomach.  
  
Liz closed her eyes, as the dam behind them broke, causing her tears to soak the soft pillow beneath her head.  
  
They were tears of relief. Max had signed her divorce papers.  
  
They were tears of joy. She could marry Sean, and move on with the life she'd spent four years building for herself.  
  
They were tears of anxiety. She wondered how Sean was going to react when he found out she had been married before.  
  
But most of all, perhaps more than anything, they were tears of heartbreak. Because it wasn't until she'd left him standing there at the UFO center, broken and battered emotionally, that Liz Evans realized exactly how much she still loved the man who had given her his name.  
  
All the years she had spent building a new life for herself without Max had been for nothing. All the time spent pretending he didn't still matter had been a wast. None of it was true.  
  
She knew now that there was no point in pretending to herself any longer. She was still in love with him and always would be.  
  
But even if she could no longer lie to herself, she would continue to lie to everyone else. Because, in the end, there was no other choice.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Tess stepped up onto the small porch, knocked softly at the door. She waited for a moment, contemplated using her powers to unlock the door herself, but decided not to risk giving Isabel a heart attack. Thinking of a better idea, she pulled out her cell phone and dialed the familiar number.  
  
After four rings, Isabel answered.  
  
"This better be good," she said groggily.  
  
"Isabel?" Tess asked softly.  
  
"Tess? Is something wrong?" Isabel asked, suddenly concerned.  
  
"Nothing's wrong, Iz, I just.I was wondering if I could crash on your couch tonight? I'm out front, and I just.I really need somewhere to go."  
  
"Honey, sure. I'll be right there."  
  
Tess closed her phone, and waited, sighing in relief when she saw the living room light come on, and Isabel's form appear at the suddenly open door.  
  
"Tess, what's going on?" Isabel demanded, rushing Tess inside and shutting the door behind them. "Is something wrong?"  
  
Tess took a deep breath, and shook her head, fighting a losing battle with the tears that were fighting their way out of her crystal blue eyes. "Nothing that a pint of ice cream and a big bottle of Tabasco won't cure," she joked lamely, her voice breaking slightly.  
  
Isabel hugged Tess tightly around the shoulders. "What's this all about?" She asked, her voice full of concern.  
  
"It's Kyle. We had this long over due conversation tonight, and."  
  
"I'll kill him," Isabel interrupted. "Tess, if he broke up with you, I swear, I'll blast him from here to."  
  
Tess watched Isabel's voice change from concerned and upset to impatient and angry, as her friend put her hands on her hips and started to rant about a problem she'd made up in her mind. Isabel was standing in front of her, in a night gown and fluffy leopard print sneakers, with her usually long silky locks rolled into tight pink foam curlers hanging at odd intervals from her head. She'd obviously gone to bed without washing off her makeup, because sleep had caused her mascara and eyeshadow to form a ruddy blue-gray circle around her eyes, and her lipstick had smudged around her lips, giving her flawless complexion a comical look. Tess couldn't stop the hysterical laughter that made her double over in giggles. Dropping her purse to the floor, she grabbed her sides in an effort to keep her composure. Through the tears her laughing fit had caused, Tess glimpsed Isabel staring at her in shock.  
  
"I'm-sorry-Isabel-I-just." Tess tried to explain, but she realized that laughing right now was exactly what she needed to do. She'd had way too much on her mind lately and, right now, laughing just felt good. She looked at Isabel and burst into another fit of uncontrollable giggles upon seeing her with her mouth open wide in astonishment.  
  
After what seemed like hours, Tess was finally able to stop giggling. As her laughter died down, she reached up to wipe the tears that her hysterics had caused. She took a deep breath, and leaned back against the couch, where she had slouched to the floor during her laughing fit. She threw her head back against the couch cushions, sighing deeply.  
  
"Tess, you want to explain what's wrong?" Isabel asked after giving Tess a chance to catch her breath.  
  
Tess smiled again, her somber mood considerably lighter than it had been when she'd arrived. "Isabel, I'm just.sometimes I'm so overwhelmed, you know? I try to be strong. For you guys. For Max. For Kyle. But it's just that right now, there's so much going on. It's a lot to take in at once. Especially now that Liz is back in town. I've always heard that things get harder before they can get better. They've already gotten harder. I just can't wait for the better."  
  
"Liz coming back [i]has[/i] made things.awkward, to say the least," Isabel agreed quietly, easing herself down into the floor to sit cross legged across from Tess. "You want to talk about it?"  
  
"It's just that, you know, before, I thought I had everything planned out. What my future held, how things were supposed to be, how I felt about the people around me, the way my life's turned out. And now, I'm just not sure of anything."  
  
"Tess, are you having second thoughts about Kyle?"  
  
Tess turned her face abruptly towards Isabel, her eyes wide with emotion. "No, Isabel. Of course not. Kyle is the one constant in my life. The one thing I know that's good for me. I just want to make sure that I'm good for him. That he knows exactly what he means to me and how I feel about him."  
  
Tess closed her eyes, dropped her head, knowing Isabel would listen until she knew it was time to talk. She knew that Kyle knew she loved him. But what hurt was that it had taken a life-altering explanation of something that happened in the past for him to believe it. Would he ever fully understand how much he meant to her? Would he ever be able to fully grasp the magnitude of the love she felt for the man who had snuck up on her and stolen her heart out of nowhere? Somewhere deep down, she knew. She just supposed that maybe it was her own insecurities and unresolved issues causing her to doubt the first true thing she'd ever found in life.  
  
Her soulmate. Her other half. Kyle was the person that she'd spend the rest of her life with. Tess didn't doubt that for a second. But she knew that there were some things that she needed to get out, problems she needed to solve, answers she needed to find before she'd truly be ready to move forward with her life, no baggage attached. And every single one of those answers in some way or another had to do with Liz Parker Evans.  
  
"What are you going to do, Tess?" Isabel asked softly.  
  
"I have to talk to Liz, Isabel. I have to talk to Liz [I]and[/I] Max. They need to know the truth."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Getting up early, Liz showered quietly, and scribbled a quick note to Serena, should she happen to wake up. She got in the car, and drove to the Crashdown, knowing Maria would already be there preparing for the breakfast crowd. She walked up to the glass doors, and cupped her hands around her face, searching the small café for Maria's bustling form. As she spotted her inside, she reached for the door handle and was momentarily sidetracked as she was hit with a flash from the past.  
  
I look at you, and I know you're the person I'm supposed to be with. I've always known it. You're the one, Liz...the only one. I could never be with anyone else.  
  
Despite her gloomy mood, Liz found herself smiling at a memory of she and Max for the first time since she'd been in Roswell. Actually, this was the first time since she'd [i]left[/i] Roswell four years ago, she could remember even smiling at a memory of Max at all. It seemed a bit easier to remember him now. How could that be? How could things have gotten so much easier, yet so much harder and more complicated all at once?  
  
She wondered if it was because she had finally accepted that she did love him still. Maybe denying it was what had made this whole homecoming so difficult. It didn't change that they couldn't be together, but it certainly felt like a load had been lifted off her shoulders that she was no longer lying to herself.  
  
Once again, as this thought passed through her mind, she heard Max's voice from the past. She saw his gentle eyes, filled with hurt and confusion. This time, he was answering the question she'd silently asked herself.  
  
I think that's what being in love is.  
  
How had Max Evans, at sixteen, been so insightful? He had been lying to himself at the time, that they could go back to just being friends, but he had been right. Falling in love with him was the easiest thing she had ever done. Trying to pretend she no longer was had been the hardest. And, damn, if it wasn't always complicated.  
  
Shaking her head out of her reverie, Liz pulled open the door and walked inside, smiling at Maria as she turned around to see who had entered.  
  
"Liz! Oh my gosh! What happened last night? Did you tell Sean? Does he know about Max? What did he say? Is he mad?"  
  
Liz held up her hands, beckoning for Maria to stop. "Whoa, slow down, Maria. One thing at a time. I'm in a fragile state here. It's not likely I could even walk and chew gum at the same time. So, first things first. Breakfast. For two."  
  
Maria raised an eyebrow and tapped her foot on the floor. "Are you hungry, Liz?"  
  
"It's to go. I'm taking some back for Sean. I have to talk to him. Soon."  
  
"Liz, how come you never told him?" Maria asked. "I know he doesn't know. Serena told me. How could you not tell him, Liz? I mean, he's your fiancé!"  
  
Liz slid into the nearest booth, shaking her head. "I don't have any explanation. Except that it hurt. To talk about Max and being married, and why I left. What would I tell him, Maria? I'm married to a former alien king, but I had to leave him so he could have a baby with his former queen to fulfill a prophecy and save the world? [i]That[/i] one would go over like a lead balloon."  
  
Realizing what she'd said, and that Maria still didn't know the real reason she'd left, Liz looked up for Maria's reaction and saw her staring back at her, with wide eyes and a befuddled expression. She opened her mouth to speak, but once again, Liz held up her hands to stop her. "I owe you an explanation, Maria, I know I do. But please, trust me, I can't tell you right now. I just.can you just trust me that I'll tell you, and let me do it on my own time? Please?" Liz could feel her hands shaking, and knew that Maria would back off. She needed time to think, and if anyone would understand, it would be the person who'd been there for her when her ride on the alien express had begun.  
  
She was going to tell Maria eventually. But right now, she needed to handle Sean. He was innocent, and didn't know what was going on. He deserved the truth. Well, as much of it as she could tell him, at least.  
  
"Sure, Liz. Take your time. I trust you," Maria said, reaching over to grab Liz's hand and squeeze them softly. "I'll go make that breakfast."  
  
Liz nodded and let her head drop to the table. She closed her eyes and groaned, trying to figure out exactly what she was going to tell Sean. Hearing the door open behind her, Liz heard heavy footsteps, and assumed it was one of the other waitresses coming in to help Maria. She realized that the steps had stopped right in front of her table, and raised her eyes.  
  
She gasped slightly when she found herself staring into the eyes of a very angry Michael Guerin.  
  
"Ummm.hey, Michael, long time no see," Liz said, laughing nervously.  
  
The nervous smile faded from her features when Michael spoke his first words to her in over four years.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Tess opened her eyes and found herself staring straight at the gray and black striped pattern of Isabel Evan's living room couch. Blinking twice to adjust to her surroundings, she groaned out loud when the previous night's events came crashing back full force. Tess had done some heavy soul searching as she lie awake on Isabel's couch, and she could think of nothing else she wanted to do other than to go to Kyle. She needed to talk to Kyle.  
  
Tess turned over, and swung her legs over the side of the couch. She stood up, stretched her arms, and jumped a foot off the ground when she heard someone clear their throat from the other side of the room.  
  
She spun around, and was surpised to see Max sitting in the chair across from her. He was watching at her, his face blank, emotionless, in a Max Evan's trademark stare.  
  
And, yet, she saw through him, as always. He was mad. Really mad.  
  
"Max, what are you doing here?"  
  
"You lied to me, Tess. All this time, you've been lying to me. And you say you care about me."  
  
The gears in Tess's mind started spinning. What was she lying to him about? She racked her brain, trying to remember if she'd told Max anything that hadn't been true. But before she could remember, Max proved to her once more just how well he knew her.  
  
"You didn't say anything, Tess. It's what you didn't say."  
  
Tess shook her head, still unaware of what Max was talking about. "Max, I don't know what you mean, what are you talking about?"  
  
"You know why Liz left Roswell, Tess. You know because you went to see her."  
  
Tess's eyes widened as realization dawned on her. He'd talked to Liz. She'd made good on her promise to tell him why she left if he beat her in pool, and now he wanted Tess's version. He wanted to know what had happened in those last few days before Liz left, and he'd come to her for answers. But as the answer she knew Max would be seeking came to her, Tess knew that her own fears had been confirmed. She had lied to herself. Rather, Future Tess had lied to her. She had gone to see Liz. Despite the fact that it wasn't actually her who had gone to see Liz, it was a version of her. And Tess couldn't help but feel a tad bit guilty for the hurt she had caused in the lives of everyone she loved.  
  
"What did she tell you, Max?" Tess asked. Because I want to know what really happened, too.  
  
"It wasn't what she told me, so much as what she showed me. She didn't tell me everything."  
  
"She showed you?" Tess asked. "You mean, you."  
  
"I kissed her. She was holding back and I knew it, so I did the only thing I could think of. I thought if I kissed her, I'd get flashes. I thought all of my questions would be answered."  
  
"Did you get them? Did you get your answers?" Tess asked. Do you have my answers? she wanted to add. Tess waited for Max to speak, her heart thudding in her chest.  
  
She wanted answers. She wanted Max to tell her what the other Tess had told Liz. She wanted to know what Liz had been told that had made her run out on her happy marriage. But more than anything, Tess wanted to know what lies she was responsible for. Because, the way things were playing out, someone somewhere was lying. And she was ninety-nine percent sure it wasn't Liz.  
  
On the other hand, Tess was afraid of what would happen if the truth did come out. How would Max see her, if he knew what really happened? How would he react when he found out that Tess Harding from the future had come back to the past to gain her destiny, and what she thought was rightfully hers? What would Max do when he realized that Tess had once been so evil and so hard hearted that she would lie to her own self to get what she really wanted?  
  
"What did you see, Max?" Tess asked again, rephrasing her question after Max failed to answer her.  
  
"I saw you, Tess. I saw you telling Liz that you and I were meant to be together. I saw you tell her that you and I were destined to be together."  
  
"Max, I can explain-"  
  
"No!" Max snapped. "Don't explain. Don't tell me your side. Don't lie to me again, Tess. I don't deserve that."  
  
"I won't lie to you, Max."  
  
"You have been lying to me for the past four years, Tess. Don't you think it's a bit late to say you won't?"  
  
Tess cringed at the sarcasm dripping in Max's voice. How could he think this of her? She was his best friend. She loved him like a brother. How could he think that she would have broken his heart by running the love of his life out of town, and then proceeded to lie to him about it for four years? Sure, she had come to Roswell to break up his marriage, although when she'd arrived she'd found Liz already gone, and Max still not the least bit interested in being with her. But the first few months after she'd come back were the last few months she had ever believed she wanted to be with Max. He knew that. She'd told him before.  
  
So why would he hold it against her, thinking that all this time she'd been lying to him? The only thing she'd ever lied to Max about was Future Tess. And even then, she didn't lie outright. She lied by omission. Because Max had no idea about Future Tess, and she had never told him. But surely he wasn't this angry at her for that.  
  
"That wasn't me, Max." It was a lame answer, but she couldn't think of any other.  
  
"What do you mean that wasn't you, Tess? I saw you! I would know you anywhere. You changed your clothes, and fixed your hair different, but it was you!"  
  
"Max, it was me," Tess agreed, pleading with her voice for Max to listen to her. "But it wasn't me. It was a version of me. From 14 years in the future."  
  
"Tess, stop lying to me! Now you just sound crazy!"  
  
"I thought I was too. The day I came home and found myself sitting in my bedroom."  
  
"Do you know how ridiculous you sound?" Max demanded, snorting in disbelief.  
  
"It was the granolith. She modified it for time travel. And she came back to bring me the destiny book. The real one. Max, the one we had wasn't the whole thing. The one she gave me was the full version. It told of things to come that I had to try and prevent."  
  
Tess watched Max's face, knew a million thoughts were running rampant in his mind. She knew that he was trying hard to decide whether or not to believe her, that he was running the unanswered questions over and over in his mind. She also knew that he was rethinking what she'd just told him. Wondering if it was true that the Granolith had more uses than they thought.  
  
"Why should I believe you, Tess? Why?"  
  
"She showed me, Max. She showed me things. Horrible things that I couldn't bear to see happen. I can't begin to tell you what I saw."  
  
Tess watched as Max's expression changed. Was that.realization? Recognition? Had she said something that struck a chord with him somewhere?  
  
"So after you saw her, you came here?"  
  
"I came to you, Max. When I came here, I believed that the only way to save the world was for you to have a child. I believed I was the only one who could have that child. I believed it with my whole heart and soul, and I would have done anything to make sure it came to pass."  
  
"Well, now you know that's not true, don't you? Because of Ellie. So why didn't you tell me, Tess? She ran out on me for goodness sake! And you knew why! I had no idea! How could you just let me hurt like that, Tess!"  
  
"Because I was hurting too!" Tess said angrily, tears filling her eyes. "At first because I believed I belonged with you. It hurt that you wouldn't even give me the time of day. It hurt that the one person in the world I believed I belonged with didn't want me! That you only wanted the girl who ran away from you!"  
  
"And then?" Max questioned. "After you fell in love with Kyle? After Ellie? What stopped you from telling me then?"  
  
"The truth, Max? I didn't want to face it. I'd believed that you had to have a child, and that because I was a hybrid, that we were the only two capable of having that child. But I was wrong, Max! And you know why? Because in the end, I'm gonna turn out to be a horrible person! I'm going to turn out to be someone so cruel and evil that I would lie to myself just to be happy, with no thoughts about how many lives I wrecked along the way! So that's why I didn't tell you, Max," Tess replied tearfully. She took a deep breath, lowered her voice. "Because if what I thought was true, then I was a heartless person, Max. And I couldn't bear the thought of being that person. I thought if maybe I didn't say it out loud, that it wasn't true. That it was just my imagination. But it wasn't, was it?"  
  
Tess turned her eyes up to Max's, searching for some sort of comfort as she felt the tears running down her cheek. The hard look in his eyes softened.  
  
"I had no idea, Tess. I had no idea things were this complicated," he said, moving over to the couch. He put an arm around Tess's shoulders, and she laid her head on his shoulder as he talked. "I believe you, Tess. I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions. I should have known you would never lie to me."  
  
Tess sniffled a bit, lifted her head, wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her sleepshirt. "Thank you, Max," she said. "Why? Why do you believe me?"  
  
"Because you said the same thing Liz said. You said you'd seen things that could have happened. That's what she said. You can't both be lying. So you must be telling the truth."  
  
"What are we going to do, Max? Something still isn't right here. Something doesn't click. I don't know if it's the prophecy, or the destiny book, or what. But I don't think we know the whole story."  
  
"I think you need to talk to Liz," Max said.  
  
"What did she say?" Tess asked turning to look at Max again.  
  
"When?"  
  
"When you told her about the flashes. That you knew. What did she say?"  
  
Tess narrowed her eyes as Max began to shift uncomfortably. "What, Max?" Tess prodded.  
  
"Liz didn't say anything, Tess. She doesn't know."  
  
"She doesn't know? Max, you got a flash from her that revealed to you part of the reason why she left and you didn't tell her? Why?" Tess demanded, disbelieving.  
  
"Because there was a reason she didn't tell me everything," Max said. "She'll tell me when she's ready. I know she will. But in the meantime, maybe you could answer me something," he continued.  
  
Tess shrugged her shoulders. "Sure, Max. What is it?"  
  
"I got flashes from Liz about you.er.the other you going to see her. But she didn't tell me that it was you who gave her all that information. In fact, she was very careful not to mention you. For all she knows, you're the one that ran her out of town, after coming back to claim your destiny with me."  
  
"Yeah?" Tess said, trying to figure out exactly what he was getting at. After all, she and Liz weren't exactly friends. Come to think of it, she wouldn't even consider them acquaintances. They had nothing in common, and nothing to talk about. But Max's next question made Tess realize that maybe things had changed. Maybe she and Liz [i]did[/i] have something to talk about.  
  
"If Liz has every reason to hate you, then why is she trying so hard to protect you?" 


	14. Chapter 14

[u]Part 14[/u]  
  
"Why are you still here?" Michael demanded, his annoyance clear.  
  
Liz stared at him in dismay. It was the first time she was coming face to face with anyone who was actually [I]Max's[/I] friend, never really having been hers. Alex and Maria had been angry at her, but she was still amazed at the ease with which their relationship had been repaired. But Michael.  
  
Well, he had never tried to hide his disdain for anyone, had he? And he certainly wasn't doing so now.  
  
"Michael!" Maria exclaimed, slapping him lightly. She had come up behind her husband, obviously on a mission to do damage control. "Liz is a paying customer. Don't be rude!"  
  
"I didn't mean in the restaurant Maria," Michael snapped. "I meant in Roswell. If she's so all-fired up about her life in New York, why hasn't she gone back? Maxwell signed the damn papers."  
  
"I am going back," Liz replied, scowling at him. "But Roswell is still [I]my[/I] home too Michael. I can be here if I want to be. And this is [I]still[/I] my parent's café."  
  
"Don't remind me." With that, Michael turned on his heel and stalked away, slamming into the kitchen through the swinging door.  
  
"I'm sorry about that," Maria sighed, sliding into the booth across from Liz.  
  
"Max must really be hurting," Liz said softly, not even acknowledging Maria's apology. Mainly because she knew Michael had every reason to hate her guts. "For Michael to even bother to hate me."  
  
"Michael doesn't know anything about how Max is feeling," Maria assured her. "He hasn't talked to him since last night. Max signed those papers of his own free will Liz. He wants you to be happy."  
  
Liz narrowed her gaze slightly. "He didn't sign them of his own free will Maria. I asked you to guilt him into it. Which you obviously did."  
  
Maria closed her eyes and laid her head back against the bench. "Liz, Max doesn't do anything unless he wants to. Sure I reminded him of [I]why[/I] he was going to sign the papers. I kept him from torturing you both by dragging it out, but we all know he would have done it eventually. You have always been even more stubborn then him. He never would have won and he knows it."  
  
"It's not about winning Maria," Liz said sadly. "There are no winners in this situation."  
  
Their eyes met and locked. "Liz, I am getting the sneaking suspicion that, in spite of your so-called engagement and all your protestations about no longer loving Max, this divorce should not be happening." Maria was beginning to sound angry. "Do you know [I]why[/I] I know it?"  
  
"Maria."  
  
"I'll tell you why. You didn't sign the papers Chica."  
  
"What?" Liz exclaimed, jumping to her feet. "Of course I did!"  
  
"You did not," Maria retorted. She stood as well, went behind the counter and produced the divorce papers, which were stashed there. "In fact, you also left last night without them."  
  
"I didn't want Sean to see them," Liz argued, taking them from her best friend and starting in consternation when she saw that Maria was right. She had not signed the papers. There was Max's familiar signature on the appropriate line, but hers was nowhere in sight.  
  
Her eyes widened. This meant that Max's copy hadn't been signed either! If he noticed that.  
  
"Oh God! Maria, I have to go!" Liz whirled and hurried out of the Crashdown.  
  
*******************************************  
  
"I just don't understand any of this," Tess told Max as she lead him down the stairs into the UFO Museum. She waved her hand in the air, succesfully flicking on the lights. "What on Earth could Future Me possibly have told Liz that made her believe me?" She paused, wrinkled her nose at the lunacy of what she had just said. "Okay, I barely understood that. But you know what I mean."  
  
"I know what you mean," Max replied, grinning at her.  
  
Tess tilted her head, regarded him with interest. "You know, you really are in a surprisingly good mood for the day after signing your divorce papers."  
  
"I'm fine now that I know you didn't lie to me," Max shrugged. "I'm even [I]better[/I] then fine now that I know Liz didn't leave me of her own free will. All we need to figure out now is [I]why[/I] she left. And then I can win her back."  
  
"Max, she's engaged," Tess reminded him. "She's moved on. Even if she didn't leave you because willingly four years ago, she's in love with someone else now." She grimaced slightly, wondered if she should tell him what she knew - that Liz had forgotten to sign her own divorce papers. But she really didn't want him to get his hopes up. As much as she wanted to get to the bottom of this and figure out exactly what Future Tess had told Liz, she still wasn't entirely certain that Liz wasn't still going to break Max's heart.  
  
Four years had passed. Liz had actually fallen in love with someone else. If Tess had gone to Liz three years ago, maybe they could have fixed things, but after this long? It was questionable. Tess didn't know Liz at all. She had no way of knowing if the lack of a signature had just been an oversight caused by frustration because Max was being so difficult. Would it hurt Max even more to know about this and then to have it shot down as any sort of proof that Liz didn't really want the divorce?  
  
Max had plopped down on a stool next to the cash-register at Tess's words. He was frowning pensively, seemingly not at all upset by Tess's reminder. "I promised her I wouldn't pressure her any more," he told her firmly. "But I didn't promise I wouldn't pursue other avenues." There was a pause. And then, "I got some information about her fiancé," he admitted quietly, looking slightly uncomfortable and, yet, strangely pleased.  
  
"How do you mean? In the paper?" Tess asked. "On the 'net? I mean, he is pretty famous. World's Most Eligible Bachelor and all that."  
  
Max snorted. "Of course not. In the flashes Tess. Liz isn't into that sort of stuff by the way. I'm a bloody king after all."  
  
"A deposed and poor one," Tess shot back, her eyes twinkling.  
  
"She doesn't care, trust me," Max insisted. He raised his eyes, grinning again. "Of course, I made her think [I]I[/I] did now. Care I mean. It was fun."  
  
"What?" Tess stared at him. "What are you even talking about?"  
  
"I told Liz I would only sign her papers if she paid me off with her fiancé's money," Max explained, obviously quite pleased with himself. "It was brilliant at the time." He looked around at the shabby Museum, sighing. "Damn me for being too nice. I should have kept that up. I could really use the money."  
  
"Max!"  
  
"Kidding. Totally kidding. But at least I wouldn't have had to sign those papers until I found out what was going on. She never would have paid me." He sounded admiring.  
  
"Max, I think you've gone insane," Tess stated firmly. "What does this have to do with Liz's fiancé?"  
  
"Nothing I guess," Max shrugged again. "Anyway, what I was going to say was that." He was cut off by the ringing of the bell over the door above. "Damn. Customer. And we're not even really open." He hurriedly punched a code into the register. "Go say hi to whoever it is. I need to get the displays going."  
  
Tess rolled her eyes. "One must question what kind of freak shows up at this stupid place at ten in the morning," she muttered as she marched over to the stairs and back up them to take the visitor's admission.  
  
She stopped dead in her tracks as soon as the man above came into sight. She [I]knew[/I] this guy. Hadn't she just seen his picture in People's Most Beautiful issue last month?  
  
It was Liz's fiancé. Sean Deveraux himself.  
  
His dark eyes met hers. "Hi. Are you open?"  
  
"Um." Tess glanced over her shoulder. She could feel panic beginning to set in. Max was going to freak. [I]She[/I]was going to freak! What the hell was Liz's husband-to-be doing in Roswell? Even worse, what the hell was he doing in Liz's present husband's cheezy tourist trap?  
  
"I can come back," Sean said. "I was just hoping to kill some time while I waited for my fiancée." He smiled at her. It was so charming it sent a shiver down Tess's spine in spite of herself. "Thought I'd get a little bit of the flavour of the town." When Tess still didn't answer, he started to look uncomfortable. "I guess I better." He turned to leave, reaching the door just as someone pushed through it from the opposite direction.  
  
"Tess, where's Max?" It was Kyle, in his uniform, looking entirely business- like. She felt her heart start to thump uncomfortably. It was the first time she had seen him since the night before. Everything they still had to talk about it passed through her mind, literally weakening her knees.  
  
"Why?" She managed to say.  
  
"Tess, what's taking so long?" Max appeared on the stairs, looking slightly irritated. He took in Kyle, then Sean. "Hi. Welcome. Did you want to look around?"  
  
"I thought you weren't open?" Sean replied, turning again. He indicated Kyle. "Although, if you're Max, this officer seems to be looking for you."  
  
"Of course we're open," Max assured him, glaring at Tess. "Come on in. And I [I]am[/I] Max - Evans that is and I own this place. Are you visiting Roswell?" He glanced at Kyle, who shrugged, as though he wasn't in a great hurry.  
  
Sean was frowning slightly now. Tess grimaced, could see exactly where this was going. Did Max really [I]not[/I] know what Liz's fiancé looked like? She couldn't believe it. Trust a guy not to even try and find a picture of his rival.  
  
"Evans?" Sean asked, obviously already making the connection. "You must be related to my."  
  
"Okay then!" Tess exclaimed, grabbing Sean by the arm and hauling him towards the stairs. "Let me give you the grand deluxe tour!"  
  
She could feel all three men staring at her like she had gone insane, but she didn't particularly care. Tess was pretty sure that Sean had absolutely no idea of Max's existence and was even more sure that when Max realized who this was, it would not be pretty. Not that Max would ever be anything but polite. But she really just did not want to see the look on her best friend's face when he understood that this was the man his wife planned to marry.  
  
"Tess, you don't even work here!" Kyle called after her, his amusement now evident in his tone. He always knew when she was up to something. It was extremely annoying.  
  
"So, how long are you staying in Roswell?" Tess asked in a rush, trying desperately to get Sean to forget that he even suspected Liz and Max were somehow connected. It would not be a good thing for Liz's fiancé to hear about Max from anyone but Liz.  
  
"Not long," Sean replied. He was looking around the large room, an amused expression on his face. "Is this place for real?"  
  
"Don't you believe in aliens?" Tess joked back, relaxing slightly.  
  
There was a long pause. Sean smiled slightly. "Well, depends on what you call an alien. Do I think that people [I]feel[/I] like aliens sometimes? Yeah. Do I believe in little green men from outer space? No."  
  
Tess wondered what he would think were she to tell him that he was presently talking to a little green woman from outer space. She almost giggled hysterically, but managed to control herself. "You can't tell me that [I]you've[/I] ever felt alientated?" She tried not to sound like she was scoffing, but this [I]was[/I] one of People's Most Eligible Bachelors. The guy was rich enough to burn money in his fireplace to warm up his big Manhatten penthouse if he wanted to. And he wasn't very hard on the eyes either. Even if he wasn't Max, Liz Parker had done very well for herself.  
  
Sean met her eyes, raising an eyebrow. "So you know who I am?"  
  
"I'm a woman," Tess teased. "I may be engaged, but I'm not dead."  
  
"Engaged huh?" Sean asked. "To Mr. Evans upstairs?"  
  
"No." Tess shook her head at the irony of his question. She was also slightly unnerved by the fact that he had deliberately used Max's last name. Apparently it had [I]not[/I] slipped his mind. But, of course it wouldn't. His fiancée's name was Elizabeth [I]Evans[/I] for God's sake. "To the deputy upstairs."  
  
"Ah. Congratulations."  
  
"Thanks," she paused, uncomfortable. "So you're marrying Liz huh?" Having admitted that she knew who he was, she couldn't very well deny that she knew he was engaged to Liz Evans. After all, it had been splashed all over the papers and Roswell of all places would have known that one of their own was marrying Sean Deveraux of all people.  
  
"You know Liz?" Sean asked, sounding pleased. "You must be about the same age. Did you go to school together?"  
  
"For a very short while," Tess admitted. "I left town at the beginning of our junior year. I moved back to Roswell after Liz had left for New York."  
  
"So she must be related to Max." He was clearly fishing for information. "There can't be that many Evanses around a town this size."  
  
"Er." Tess breathed a heavy sigh of relief when she heard Max and Kyle coming down the stairs. Of course, this was short-lived when she realized they weren't alone.  
  
".ridiculous Kyle! How could I have been breaking into my own husband's house?"  
  
"Liz!" Sean exclaimed. Tess followed his gaze to take in the trio standing on the staircase. Liz Parker Evans was standing between Max and Kyle, a horrified expression on her lovely face.  
  
Tess saw Liz whiten and called out just in time. "Max! Catch her!"  
  
Max did so, neatly sweeping Liz up into his arms. It was only then that Tess noticed that the petite brunette was wearing handcuffs.  
  
**************************************************  
  
"Liz! Liz? Are you okay?"  
  
She didn't want to open her eyes. She couldn't remember [I]why[/I] exactly, but she knew it was true. And, yet, Max's voice was insistent. "Liz, drink this."  
  
She felt a cool glass pressed against her lips, realized that her throat was parched. She sipped it carefully, the soothing wetness reviving her. "What.what happened?"  
  
"You fainted."  
  
The second voice was equally as familiar as Max's. Oh dear Lord. It wasn't a nightmare. She was actually [I]living[/I] this.  
  
Sean.  
  
"Liz, open your eyes." Max's voice was gentle, encouraging. "You don't need to be embarrassed. You're not used to the heat anymore."  
  
"I was born and bred in Roswell Max Evans!" Liz's eyes snapped open and she glared at him. "I did [I]not[/I] faint because of the heat."  
  
"So you [I]do[/I] know each other." This came from Sean. Liz reluctantly turned her head to regard her fiancé, who was crouching beside Max in front of her. She realized that she was sitting on a cot that was set up in one of the displays. She almost burst out laughing when she took in that it was the alien autopsy display. Someone had brushed the poor, dissected alien onto the floor and she had taken his place.  
  
Well, the irony in that was not lost on her. Because her entire life was about to fall apart.  
  
"Evans," Sean said, sounding pleased with himself that he had figured it out. "What are you? Cousins?"  
  
She really wanted to pinch herself to make sure this wasn't a horrible dream. Of course, she couldn't, because she was still handcuffed. Stupid Kyle Valenti! This was all [I]his[/I] fault!  
  
It [I]had[/I] to be a nightmare though. Because how else could things have gone so awry? She was going to tell Sean about Max this morning! She had just gone to Max's to retrieve the divorce papers first, before her ex- husband noticed that she hadn't signed them. How on Earth had Sean ended up in the UFO Museum with Max anyway?  
  
This was all Kyle's fault, she thought again. If he hadn't arrested her and brought her here to make sure she had Max's permission to be in his house - which of course she didn't - none of this would have happened!  
  
Of course, it was sort of her fault too. If she hadn't stopped and stared in dumbfounded amazement at the pile of pictures Max had of her in his bed- side table, which she had been rifling through to find the papers, she would have been in and out before Kyle even showed up. But how was she supposed to know that Max's neighbour was such a busy-body and had seen her climb in the window and had then called the police? And if Max hadn't left his bedroom window open in the first place, she never would have gotten herself into such a ridiculous position!  
  
Those pictures..God. Had they ever been so happy? But they had more than proven that they had been. She had left all of her pictures behind when she had left Max, knowing that having any tangible reminders of him would only make things worse. She had been haunted by memories anyway. She didn't need the pictures.  
  
But to actually see them.All of those good times spread out over the bed- spread. She had lost herself for a while.  
  
She and Max at the beach on their honeymoon, slightly out of focus as the picture had been taken by a ten-year old, the only other person crazy enough to be out on that windy day. The picture Isabel had taken of Max carrying her over the threshold of their first apartment. Pictures of them dancing at their wedding. Too many happy times.  
  
She had been laughing through her tears, a picture of the burnt casserole Max had made her for their six-month anniversary in her hands, when Kyle had appeared in the bedroom doorway, the outraged neighbour behind him. In order to shut her up, Kyle had cuffed her and promised Mrs. Newton that he would take her to Max to get his side of the story. Kyle had apologized in the truck, but Liz had still been too out of it to even care.  
  
It was only when Max had burst out laughing at the sight of her that she had snapped out of it.  
  
It was the day after she had broken his heart and he was in a good enough mood to think it was hilarious that she had been arrested for breaking into his house! It had been more than she could take. Which was why she had been screeching at both of them as they had descended the stairs, when suddenly there was Sean staring up at her, Tess at his side and her entire world had started to spin.  
  
And, now, here she was staring at her past and her future at the same time and neither knew who the other was.  
  
Liz realized that Max was looking at Sean strangely. "We're not cousins." She could see understanding dawning on his face as he began to put the pieces together. "You're Sean."  
  
"Deveraux," Sean agreed, holding out his hand to Max. Max looked at it for a moment, but took it, the pause not long enough that anyone other than Liz would notice.  
  
"Right." Max straightened, his eyes meeting Liz's again. "I think you two need to talk. I'll just leave you alone." He almost looked like he felt sorry for her. And, yet, she could not mistake the satisfied twinkle in his eye.  
  
Okay, something was going on with Max. There was now no question. This was not the same person she had left in the Museum the night before. "Max!"  
  
He turned. "Yes Liz?"  
  
"I need to talk to [I]you[/I]!"  
  
"I don't think so. Not right now," Max replied. "Sean probably has a lot of questions."  
  
"MAX!"  
  
"Oh by the way," Max continued, turning once more. "Tess needs to talk to you too."  
  
Liz closed her eyes, took a deep breath in order to calm herself. When had he become so infuriating? He was driving her insane! Seriously. He was completely manic. Sad and loving one minute, dismissive and teasing the next.  
  
"Liz, what the heck is going on here?" Sean was standing now too, a completely perplexed look on his face.  
  
"I will explain everything, I swear," Liz told him hurriedly. "I just need to talk to Max first! And I need to get these damn handcuffs off."  
  
"Why are you wearing handcuffs by the way?"  
  
"I broke into Max's house. It's a long story. Kyle is just being a jerk. I swear this will all make sense soon." Liz stood on her tip-toes and kissed him lightly on the cheek. "I'll be right back."  
  
Liz stomped over to Kyle, who was lounging on the staircase, Tess seated a step above him. "Unlock me."  
  
"Can't. I still don't have confirmation that you had permission to be on the premises," Kyle reminded her lazily.  
  
"He's my husband," Liz hissed, glancing over her shoulder at Sean, who was watching her, a scowl on his face. "What's his is mine."  
  
"You never lived there," Kyle shot back. "He moved in after you left town. Plus aren't you divorced now? And you climbed through the window. I somehow doubt that Max wanted you there. What were you doing anyway Liz?"  
  
"Where [I]is[/I] Max?" Liz demanded in frustration. "MAX? Max Evans, get back here now!"  
  
"I'm busy!" His voice came drifting back from the stockroom.  
  
"What the heck is he doing?" Liz asked Tess. The blonde was eyeing her, obviously uncomfortable. Liz frowned slightly when she realized that she saw compassion in Tess's blue eyes. She felt a flash of anger. The last thing she wanted was for the blonde troll to feel sorry for her!  
  
"He's waiting for you to admit to Sean that you're still married to someone else," Tess finally said. "He wants you to tell him, to admit it, to acknowledge that he exists."  
  
"Of course he exists. How else could he be so successfully driving me insane?"  
  
"Liz, don't you understand that the fact that you haven't even admitted that you were married before makes him feel like you're ashamed of him or something?" Tess's tone was kind, but it made Liz scowl anyway. "He'll never admit it, but I think that's what hurts him most of all. That you never even mentioned him."  
  
"I [I]couldn't[/I]." Liz could feel a lump growing in her throat, forced the words past it. "I could [I]not[/I] talk about him to anyone but Serena. It hurt too much."  
  
"I know that," Tess replied. "But [I]he[/I] doesn't. He went to New York and he saw you with Sean and he thought you had moved on.and the person you moved on with doesn't even know about him. Think about it from his perspective."  
  
"All I can do is think about it from his perspective," Liz admitted softly. "And I have to stop. Because if I don't, I'll lose it. Tess, I'm pretty close right now. When I thought.when I was able to believe that he was with you.I could deal with it. But this.This is just [I]so[/I] messed up. Why can't he move on?"  
  
Kyle, who had been listening quietly, got to his feet during the silence that followed this and used his key to remove Liz's handcuffs. She rubbed her wrists without even thinking about it, her eyes still locked with Tess's.  
  
She was really asking her worst enemy to explain the person she used to know best. The irony was painful.  
  
"He will move on Liz. If it's what you really want," Tess told her. "He signed the papers. But you didn't. You haven't even been honest with your fiancé. How can you build a relationship without honesty?"  
  
"I can't believe you're lecturing [I]me[/I] about honesty," Liz said, laughing slightly. She wasn't mad, just completely spent. She just could [I]not[/I] deal with this anymore. "I guess maybe it was worth it. You're not the same person Tess."  
  
"No," Tess acknowledged. "And now I know it's thanks to you Liz." She glanced at her fiancé, smiling slightly. "And Kyle of course."  
  
"You didn't know before?"  
  
"Not for sure," Tess replied. "But I suspected. I was scared to find out for sure."  
  
Liz frowned slightly, finally just wanting to know once and for all. "She came to you too?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"So that's why you came back."  
  
"Yeah. I'm sorry. I really didn't know she'd been to see you until." Tess's eyes widened and she trailed off, looking towards the stock-room guiltily.  
  
And, abruptly, Liz understood.  
  
Max knew too. He knew exactly why she had left.  
  
"Oh God." She collapsed on the step next to Tess. "He got flashes, didn't he?"  
  
Tess just nodded, glanced towards Sean, who was still across the room, but obviously getting more impatient by the minute. "We can't talk about this right now."  
  
"I know," Liz said, rubbing her eyes tiredly. "God Tess. I don't even know what's right anymore."  
  
She realized that this was the whole truth. She had absolutely no idea what she was feeling, who she loved, or what she wanted. And, in the end, it didn't really matter anyway, did it?  
  
Because even if Max still loved her, even if Max knew the truth about why she left, the reason was still in existance. She still could not bear his child and because of that, the world would end.  
  
"Talk to Sean. Get that over with," Tess suggested. "And then follow your heart. The rest will sort itself out."  
  
Liz stared at her. "What did you say?"  
  
"Liz, all you can do is follow your heart. It's what I did and it just [I]can't[/I] be wrong." Tess looked at Kyle as she said this and Liz felt a pang of real happiness for both of them. No jealousy at all.  
  
Because she knew what her heart wanted. She had known it since her grandmother had first told her to follow it all those years ago. She had ignored it since the visit from Future Tess, but her heart had never wavered.  
  
Her heart had only ever wanted one person.  
  
Because, even if she and Max could never be together, she couldn't do it to Sean. It wasn't fair. Seeing them together, side by side, her heart had not wavered. She had wanted to talk to Max, not Sean. Her instincts always took her back to him.  
  
He was her husband. She hadn't signed those papers because she wanted him to stay her husband.  
  
In the end, how could she be engaged and married at the same time? It was impossible.  
  
She was still legally bound to Max. But apart from that, she was still emotionally attached to him as well. It was why this whole homecoming had been so difficult, why she had stayed away for so long in the first place.  
  
By staying away, she had been able to stay married. She had been able to maintain the connection to him, even if she had been unable to be in his company.  
  
He was still the only person she really wanted.  
  
Which was why she was going to have to break her engagement. 


	15. Chapter 15

[u]Part 15[/u]  
  
"I can't marry him, Tess," Liz whispered, panic evident in her voice. "What am I going to do?"  
  
Tess looked at Liz, and shook her head. "I can't tell you what to do, Liz. All I know is that you should go with what you feel."  
  
"What I feel is a panic attack coming on! What am I going to say to him? 'Sorry, I can't marry you, because I'm still in love with my husband. Surprise! Bet you didn't know I had one of those did you'?" Liz demanded, talking without taking a breath. She stared at Tess, her eyes wide with anxiety, silently pleading with her for an answer.  
  
"You'll figure out what to say, Liz. Just start talking. You'll know how to do it when the time comes."  
  
Liz groaned, and then wailed, "Why me, Tess? Why do I always hurt the people I love? Why do people get hurt just by being a part of my life? It's not fair. People should have to sign a waiver just to love me!"  
  
It wasn't fair. It seemed everyone she'd ever loved had been hurt by her in some way or other. Maria. Alex. Max. Now Sean. Why couldn't anyone just be happy for once? Why did hurt always have to be part of the package?  
  
Watching Liz, Tess fought hard to suppress a giggle. If someone had told her two days ago that she'd be sitting next to an hysterical Liz Parker, offering her advice on her love life, she'd have laughed in their face. But, now, it seemed like the most natural thing in the world. Because sitting next to the one person in the world she thought she'd never be friends with, Tess felt nothing but compassion, and an odd sense of companionship for the other woman.  
  
"Love is always a risk, Liz. But it's a risk people are willing to take and it's worth it. Hurt is part of that risk. But it's not what matters. Love is what matters. In the end, love is stronger than anything. Hurt, heartbreak, broken trust, none of it matters. Love is the one thing that's stronger than it all."  
  
And Tess knew it was true. Four years ago, when Liz Evans had left town, she'd left nothing but shattered hearts and broken trust behind. But when she'd come back home they'd opened their hearts and their lives to her once again. The hurt and suffering had been forgiven. Because they loved her.  
  
Well, maybe not Isabel, Tess amended with a slight grimace, then suppressed another giggle.  
  
Liz was stifling a laugh too, when she turned towards Tess. "I never thought I'd be asking you for advice," she said flatly, explaining it.  
  
"Well, that makes two of us," Tess replied. "Cause I'd never thought I'd be giving it to you."  
  
Liz moaned, putting her head between her hands.  
  
After a minute of silence, Tess leaned in closer to Liz. Liz was scared. She needed some motivation. "You love him, that's clear enough. And he still loves you, you know. He always will."  
  
"Why?" Liz asked. "All I've ever done is hurt him. Why does he still love me?"  
  
Tess shrugged. The answer was simple. "Because you're Liz."  
  
Liz heard Max's voice echoing Tess words in her ears. [i]It was you.[/i]  
  
It seemed like an eternity had passed since she'd heard him say that. Things had been so easy for them back then, in spite of the sheriff and the questions about who should be let in on the secret.  
  
But when it came to the two of them, they'd never needed any other explanation. How could she have forgotten?  
  
Liz raised her head, and looked at Tess through watery eyes. "Where did things go so wrong, Tess? Why did things have to turn out this way? Why do they have to be so.so complicated?"  
  
"That's what we'd all like to know, Liz. We'll find the answers. But right now I think you have other problems to resolve," Tess said, tilting her head in the direction of Liz's obviously angry fiancé.  
  
"Right," Liz said reluctantly. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes to gain her composure, stood up from the step where she was sitting, and brushed her hands down the front of her jeans. She started to walk away, but as an afterthought, turned around to offer Tess a small smile of gratitude. She was surprised that she felt no hate or animosity towards the girl who'd all but taken her place when she'd left Roswell. "Thanks, Tess. For giving me advice. You know, even though I'm your worst enemy and all." Liz stopped briefly and waited for a response, but got nothing but a shocked look from Tess's icy blue eyes. She offered another small smile, and turned to walk towards Sean.  
  
"Liz?"  
  
Liz spun around to see Tess standing up on the steps, a cautious look guarding her features. "You were [i]her[/i] enemy. I don't consider you mine."  
  
Liz smiled again, nodded her head, and headed back to Sean, feeling as if part of the weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Tess's words seemed so.right. She had once considered Tess her enemy, when the blonde had first arrived in Roswell and had tried to steal Max away from her. Her opinion had not been revised when the future version of Tess had visited her four years ago. But it was clearly obvious that the Tess she'd come to hate for causing her to leave behind everything she loved was not the same Tess that she'd found when she'd arrived back in Roswell. And for some strange reason it was natural to feel an odd sense of companionship to her.  
  
Liz Evans couldn't help but smile again, in spite of the trial in front of her. Because for the first time since she'd arrived back home, something had gone right.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Tess stood watched Liz walk towards Sean, a smile gracing her features. Was it possible that she and Liz Evans would be friends in the future? When she'd almost been run down by Liz in the middle of the street a couple of days ago, Tess had been flooded with feelings of panic, anxiety, curiousity, and even hatred. But now, she couldn't help but feel something akin to friendship for the wife of her best friend. This was definitely a jumping off point to resolving the questions that had plagued her mind for the last four years. And she knew that Liz would be more than happy to help her find her answers.  
  
She turned and headed up the stairs, where she knew Kyle would be waiting for her. She reached the top step, and saw him leaning against the wall outside, his deputy's hat tilted back, as he watched two small children play around the tables arranged outside the Crashdown across the street.  
  
"Hey you," she said, pushing through the glass doors.  
  
"Hey yourself," Kyle replied, pulling his hat off, and taking a step towards her. "So that's Liz's fiancé, huh?"  
  
"Afraid so," Tess said. "Looks like she's got a full day ahead of her. He's gonna ask about Max."  
  
"You told him?" Kyle asked incredulously.  
  
"Of course not, Kyle. He asked me if they were related. The fact that they had the same last name didn't slip by him."  
  
"Oh."  
  
Kyle and Tess stood staring at each other, each shifting from foot to foot in the awkward silence.  
  
After a minute, Kyle took a deep breath, and fiddled with the silver star pinned on the brim of his hat. "Sooo.is everything.I mean.are we.all right?" he asked, watching her uncertainly.  
  
Tess smiled, and walked up to Kyle, taking one of his hands. "We're good, Kyle," she said. "I'm sorry about last night. I just.I needed time to think."  
  
"And did you?" Kyle asked, taking Tess's free hand into his other one.  
  
"Think?" She nodded her head. "Yeah. And I came to the same conclusion I always come to. I love you. You love me. As long as that's true, we'll always be okay. No matter what."  
  
Tess looked at Kyle and saw relief flood his features. She had known that walking out on him, even though she told him she just needed some space, would be hard on him. She knew that as she walked out the door, Kyle would be kicking himself, running the night's events through his head time and time again. Last night she had been sure that it served him right. He'd said and done some things that made her want to think about where she stood and where her life was going. Wasn't it only fair that he did the same thing? But now, watching his shoulders relax, and his eyes reflect his smile, she wanted nothing more than to make sure he knew just how much she loved him.  
  
"I love you, Tess. You know I always will," he said, leaning down to give her a quick kiss on the lips.  
  
"Kyle Valenti, I don't care about that 'not while I'm in uniform stuff'. If you don't give me a proper kiss right this minute, you'll be sleeping outside tonight!" Tess chided lightly, a sly smile on her lips.  
  
Kyle chuckled, and reached up to tip up the brim of his hat. "Yes ma'm," he said. "Your wish is my command."  
  
Tess smiled, and brought her mouth up to meet his. She closed her eyes, and reveled in the familiarity of the action, knowing she'd never get tired of feeling Kyle's lips on her own. It didn't matter what else came their way, what other problems life would throw at them, what unforeseen circumstances fate would force them to deal with. It would always come to this. To Tess and Kyle. [i]This[/i] was where she belonged. And all the time in the world would always bring her back here.  
  
Breaking apart, Kyle pulled her against his chest, stroking her hair. "So, you and Liz survived your little moment in there all in one piece?" he asked, beginning to sound amused.  
  
Tess took a deep breath. "It's weird, Kyle. I have every right in the world to think of her as my enemy. And she has every right in the world to hate me. But I don't. And she doesn't either. We're like, the same, me and Liz. We've both been through this traumatic experience, and it's made us.different. Then we would have been I mean."  
  
She wondered briefly whether this was what Future Tess had wanted all along. Maybe she didn't have to hate herself quite as much as she had over the past two days. Because maybe this was exactly what was supposed to have happened when that other version of herself had changed the future. And even if Future Tess hadn't known it, it had still turned out okay.  
  
Tess and Kyle together, Max and Tess close. And Max and Liz reunited. Hopefully. Tess grimaced slightly, thought about how strangely Max had been acting earlier. Her best friend was up to something. She was so glad that he wasn't giving up, even if he had told Liz he was. He deserved his happiness.  
  
"You and Liz? You guys are like friends now or something?" Kyle asked, sounding surprised.  
  
Tess let the feel of Kyle's words sink in.  
  
Friends.  
  
They were still far from friends. But Tess knew that the things she had in common with Liz would prove to be a sturdy stepping stone towards building some sort of civil relationship between them. And if it wasn't enough of a stepping stone, the fact that they both loved Max would be enough to urge them forward.  
  
"I'm not sure what you'd call it, Kyle. But we're definitely not enemies. In fact, I think we'll be able to help each other. There's some things in the past that don't make sense. Things we both thought to be true that don't agree with what we now know [i]is[/i] true. I think that Liz and I will be able to find the answers. "  
  
"I'm glad you don't hate her, Tess. She's still my friend."  
  
Tess looked at Kyle and couldn't help but ask. "You aren't mad at her? For leaving? For hurting you guys?"  
  
She knew that Kyle hadn't had a chance to talk things over with Liz. After all, their first encounter since she'd been back had centered around other.issues. She'd never talked with Kyle about Liz. It seemed that Liz was the one subject no one ever talked to anyone about. She had often wondered how Kyle felt about her. She knew he'd been hurt by her, and had naturally assumed that like the others, he didn't talk about her because it hurt. Because he still held it against her. But now, she wasn't so sure.  
  
Kyle shrugged, and put his hat back on, after running a hand through his hair. "I've forgiven her for running away. I've forgiven her for hurting me. Forgiveness sets you free from the bonds of hatred, anger and resentment."  
  
Tess raised an eyebrow. "Buddha?"  
  
"No," Kyle said. "Dr. Phil. But he's just as good."  
  
Tess looked at Kyle and couldn't help but laugh.  
  
"What?" Kyle demanded, putting up his hands. "I can't help it. He's on Oprah all the time.  
  
Tess laughed again, and covered her mouth with her hand. "You do not watch Oprah," she accused.  
  
"What?" Kyle said, holding out his arms. "Michael watches The View!"  
  
"Oh, this is classic," Tess exclaimed, stepping up on her tip-toes to kiss Kyle on the cheek. "If I ever need to blackmail you or Michael, I know what to use."  
  
Kyle growled and kissed her again. All thoughts of Dr. Phil flew from her mind. "You won't tell Michael I told you," he whispered against her lips a few moments later.  
  
"Okay," Tess agreed. "If you promise me more of that later." But in her mind she was already devising some way to tease Michael about The View. She wondered if Maria knew what her husband did when she wasn't home.  
  
"I better go before they send another unit out here to see what's holding me up," Kyle said, as he slipped on his sunglasses, backing away from the UFO Center to his waiting truck "See you tonight?"  
  
"Yes. I'll be at Isabel's for a while doing wedding stuff, but then, I'm all yours," Tess replied.  
  
"Tonight it is," he said. He smiled one last time, blew her a kiss, and got into his car, driving off down the street.  
  
"Well," Tess said to herself as she turned back around and pulled open the door behind her. "One down, one to go."  
  
She walked down the stairs, calling out to Max, wondering where he'd gone. "Max, where are you?"  
  
"In the back, Tess, at the souvenir counter," came his muffled reply.  
  
Tess headed towards the opposite corner of the room, and stopped along the way to pick up a small plastic "I Believe" button that Max must have dropped. Max had acted strange around Liz and Sean earlier, and she knew something was up. He was acting odd, to say the least.  
  
"What's gotten into you?" Tess asked, as she turned the corner and saw Max standing behind the counter.  
  
"I have no idea what you're talking about," Max retorted as he placed handfuls of the small buttons into a plastic container near the cash register.  
  
"You're.different. What was up with you back there?"  
  
Max shrugged his shoulders. "Back where?"  
  
"Don't play dumb with me, Max. What's going on?"  
  
"Tess, listen," Max said, glancing up towards the stairs when he heard the front door open, signaling that he had customers. "I can't talk right now. I'm working."  
  
Max put the cardboard box under the desk and slipped on his UFO Center vest.  
  
Tess looked at Max strangely when he donned the familiar orangey yellow vest. Max hated that vest. He only made the employees wear it at convention time, so people would know who to ask for information. He never wore his. Something was definitely up.  
  
"Max," Tess said firmly. "I want to talk to you. You have some explaining to do, and we [I]will[/I] finish this talk."  
  
"Okey dokey!" Max said, stepping from behind the counter and towards the front of the center.  
  
"Okay dokey?" Tess asked amusedly. "Where is the Max Evans that I know and love? The Max Evans that hates that vest and laughs at people who use words like okey dokey?"  
  
Max turned and smiled at Tess, as he walked backwards. "He's gone, abducted by aliens" he replied, tossing Tess a small blow up alien doll and laughing out loud. "This Max Evans is a new man," he said.  
  
Tess let out a sigh, putting the doll on the counter behind her. Max was losing it. And she was determined to get an explanation.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Liz, do you mind telling me what is going on here?" Sean asked, taking Liz by the arm.  
  
"I don't mind, Sean, but now is not the time."  
  
"Who's that Max guy? Why do I get the feeling that I'm missing out on something here?"  
  
"Sean, please, we need to do this someplace else. Let's just go back to the hotel, okay?"  
  
"Fine, let's go," he said hurriedly, walking towards the stairs.  
  
Just as Liz and Sean reached the bottom of the steps, Max came around the corner, a blow up alien doll hanging from one hand, and a small cardboard box in the other. He stopped when he saw Liz and Sean.  
  
Liz stared at Max, felt her blood beginning to boil again. "Max Evans, this is not over!" she huffed.  
  
"Of course not, Liz. But it looks like you've got another discussion to tend to. So we'll finish later." He winked at her, and turned his attention to Sean. "It was nice meeting you, Sean. I've heard so much about you."  
  
"Right," Sean said, narrowing his eyes. "Wish I could say the same about you."  
  
Liz was sure her face flushed a hundred shades of crimson. Could this get any worse?  
  
On her left was a very angry, confused fiancé who just wanted to know what was going on. He'd come to Roswell simply to find her, and had unwillingly placed himself smack dab right into the middle of what Liz could only classify as a soap opera.  
  
On her right was her very annoying, hardheaded husband who only wanted to.wait a minute. What the heck [i]did[/i] he want anyway? He was being way too nice and way too charming to someone who he'd done nothing but insult since she had seen him again.  
  
Liz put on hand on her hip and narrowed her eyes at Max. He was definitely up to something.  
  
"Oh, I'm sure Liz will tell you all about me," he was saying to Sean, sounding like butter wouldn't melt in his mouth.  
  
"I will," Liz flared. "As soon as we leave." She glared at Max once more before turning on her heel and stalking away.  
  
"Oh, Sean," Max called after them, causing Sean to turn around to look at him. "Ask her about that time we went to Vegas. You ought to get a real kick out of that."  
  
Flabbergasted, Liz's mouth fell open, but she couldn't think of anything to say.  
  
Las Vegas? Max told Sean to ask about Las Vegas? She and Max had only been to Vegas once. They'd returned no longer Liz Parker and Max Evans, but, rather Mr. and Mrs. Max Evans. They'd run away, followed their hearts, and had made the ultimate commitment to one another.  
  
What right did Max have to tell Sean about that? Sean was [i]her[/i] fiancé, and she would tell him about Vegas when she was good and ready to tell him.  
  
"Aggghh!" She cried, stomping her foot angrily. She picked up a small, pin- on button that had fallen out of the box in Max's arm and threw it at his retreating figure, becoming even move angry when the small plastic object widely missed its intended target. Huffing once more, she turned on her heels, and pulled a surprised Sean along behind her.  
  
Forty minutes later, Liz and Sean were back at the hotel. They were in Sean's room, and he was sitting on the bed, watching Liz pace back and forth in front of him.  
  
"Liz, you've been pacing for the last 5 minutes. I want to know what's going on. And I want to know now!"  
  
Liz flinched at Sean's raised voice and angry demeanor.  
  
"Fine." Liz stopped pacing and pulled a chair from next to the night stand, sitting down so that she was face to face with Sean. She grabbed his hands in hers, and took a minute to gain her composure. She closed her eyes, and took a deep breath, willing herself to do this without crying.  
  
"You know, when I came to New York four years ago, I had no idea as to what life held for me. I didn't know where I was going, what I was going to do, or how I was going to do it. I had a few hundred bucks in my pocket and some clothes. For hours I walked around, tears running down my cheeks, and my heart thudding in my chest. I started to think that maybe life wasn't such a good idea. You know, that it was over-rated. That all it had to offer was lost love and broken hearts. But then I stumbled into Serena, and she gave me a new lease on life. And then I met you. You were so patient with me and you were everything I'd left behind when I left home. You were someone to share things with, someone to love, someone I'd thought I could build a new life with. In you, I saw my chance to start over," Liz said quietly.  
  
"Someone you [i]thought[/i] you could build a new life with?" Sean asked disbelievingly. "That.that's changed?"  
  
Liz shook her head as she felt her tears slip past her eyelids to roll down her cheeks.  
  
This was the worst part of it all. Telling the people you love that you're sorry, but it's going to hurt. She'd never understood her mother all those years ago when she'd used the same words on her, when she was going to punish her for some childhood transgression.  
  
This is gonna hurt me worse than it's going to hurt you.  
  
She'd heard those words countless times, when she was getting in trouble, being reprimanded, grounded, or spanked by her parents after getting into trouble. And she'd never believed her mother when she'd said them.  
  
She'd heard those words as a little girl. When she was Liz Parker, lover of science and of discovering the world. When she was just the little girl with the braids, who lived at the Crashdown. When she'd thought of herself as nothing more then best friend to Alex and Maria, 1/3 owner of the clubhouse in the Whitman back yard.  
  
But now she was Elizabeth Evans. Famous New York fashion designer, and fiancé to one Sean Deveraux, admired by millions of adoring fans. She was Liz Evans, long lost friend and beloved daughter to the residents of Roswell.  
  
But, in the end, the way she thought of herself was the way that mattered most. She had pushed it aside for too long. Because she was Elizabeth Parker Evans, all of those things, but also wife to one Max Evans, King of Antar, and captor of her heart.  
  
She was all grown up and she had to stop running. And she now knew all too well exactly how true her mother's words had been all those years ago.  
  
As she stared at the face of the man that just a few days ago she'd thought she wanted to marry, she knew she was going to hurt him. She could only hope that he knew how much this was going to hurt her too.  
  
He didn't deserve this. But she had to do it anyway. Because he also deserved [I]more[/I] than she could give him.  
  
"I can't marry you, Sean," Liz blurted. "I'm already married." She spat the sentence out, before she lost her nerve.  
  
Liz flinched when she felt Sean pull his hands from her grasp. She held her breath as she watched the emotions play across his face.  
  
"You're kidding me, right?" He scoffed, looking desperate for her to say she was, so they could both have a good laugh.  
  
She shook her head sadly. "That's why I'm here. I came to get Max to sign the divorce papers."  
  
"Max? That guy from the UFO Center? No wonder that Tess friend of yours acted so weird when I tried to ask about him. How could you lie to me, Liz?" Sean demanded. He stared at Liz, waiting for a response, and after not getting one, he stood up and went across the room, to pace the stretch of carpet Liz had abandoned only minutes ago.  
  
"Tess and I have never been friends," Liz said. [i]At least we never were before,[/i] she heard a voice in her head say.  
  
"Liz! That should be the last thing on your mind right now! I can't believe this is happening," Sean muttered to himself.  
  
"Sean, let me ex-"  
  
"You must think I'm some kind of fool! What, do you and your friends laugh at me behind my back? Huh? Snicker because because Sean Deveraux is about to be taken for the ride of his life?" Sean stopped pacing, and threw his arms out to his sides, his breathing heavy in his angry excitement.  
  
"No! Sean! It was never like that!" Liz pleaded desperately.  
  
She had to make him understand. She had to make him see that when she'd begun a relationship with him, she'd had nothing but purely good intentions. She had thought she was ready to move on with her life. And she had wanted to do it with him. She hoped that after she explained things as best as she could, that he wouldn't hate her. After all, she did love Sean. It was only a few hours ago though that she had realized that she wasn't [i]in[/i] love with him. She'd been tricking herself into believing it, but she wouldn't do it any longer.  
  
"Tell me what it [I]was[/I] like then, Liz. You have some big plan to take me for all I'm worth? You decide you'd make me love you, and offer you my heart, then turn around leave me high and dry? You wanted to sell your story to the tabloids?" Sean shouted angrily, clearly about to completely lose control.  
  
Liz wasn't scared though. Sean was probably the most gentle person she knew. It was one of the reasons she had thought herself in love with him in the first place. He was so wonderful, so caring, so.  
  
Oh Lord. The truth hit her so squarely, she flinched. He was so much like [I]Max.[/I] Or at least like the Max she used to know.  
  
This was bad. Very bad. How could she not have seen this before?  
  
She realized that now was not the time though. Sean was staring at her still, his face red, waiting for her to expain herself.  
  
"Sean, please, calm down. I need you to understand where I'm coming from." Liz stood up and walked towards Sean, reaching a hesitant hand out to touch his arm. "Sean, please, if you care anything about me, you'll hear me out."  
  
"Sure," Sean said sarcastically. "Play on my emotions. After all that [i]is[/i] what you've been doing the last couple years, isn't it? Why stop now?" Sean stomped over to the bed, and sat down on it, crossing his arms and looking at Liz to continue.  
  
"I never meant to hurt you, Sean," Liz said quietly. "Things, they're just.complicated. There are things in my past that you don't know about. Things I can't ever tell you about," she said. Liz paused for a moment, and sat back down in the chair she'd pulled up earlier. "I thought I was through with that. I thought I wanted a clean slate. I was ready to be a new person. I thought I was ready to put everything behind me. I thought I was ready to put [i]Max[/i] behind me.  
  
"I never expected things between you and I to go this far. When you asked me to marry you, I accepted, because that's what I though I wanted. I thought I could come here, get the divorce papers signed, and go back to New York, with no strings attached." Liz stopped talking, and chuckled to herself. "But I should have known things aren't that simple. Things for me are never simple. Especially when it comes to Max.  
  
"The minute I passed the Roswell city limits sign, I knew I'd made a mistake. I knew that leaving here again wasn't going to be easy for me. All the feelings I thought I'd left behind came rushing back to me. Everywhere I turned, I saw Max. There isn't one single place in Roswell that doesn't hold a memory of our time together." Liz smiled softly, letting her mind drift back through her remembrances.  
  
"Tell me about him," Sean said softly.  
  
Liz was too caught up in her emotions at the time to realize that the tone in Sean's voice had changed. She didn't notice the way he'd suddenly forgotten that he was angry at her. But by the end of the night, she'd realize that it should have tipped her off. That if she'd only caught the wistful look in his eyes, she would have known that she wasn't the only one who hadn't been entirely honest.  
  
Liz sighed dreamily and formed her story in her mind, careful to leave out any of the otherworldy details. "Max and I, we started out like any normal teenage couple does. Shy, unsure, anxious. We were nervous around each other and didn't know how to act, or what to do. But the first time he ever kissed me, I knew that what we had wasn't normal. What Max and I had was deeply passionate, and real, and.magical. It was amazing. It was the kind of stuff people write about. I mean, sure we had our share of ups and downs. We've traveled our share of rocky road. But our trials only made us stronger. We always ended up where we started. Together.  
  
"When noone but our friends believed in us, we never lost hope. Our parents didn't approve, but we didn't let that get to us. And when things started to get bad, we decided to show them all that we were serious. After we graduated, we just up and left one day. We eloped."  
  
"Vegas?" Sean asked, realization dawning in his eyes.  
  
Liz giggled softly. "Congratulations, kids," she said, snarling her lip to imitate the Elvis impersonator that had married them. "Married by Elvis. We had our wedding picture taken by Marilyn Monroe. People laughed about it at the time. But that night, Max and I, we stopped at some little roadside bar, and danced all night long. Max's sister Isabel and our best friends Michael, Maria and Alex came to meet us. Then we came back to Roswell and broke the news. Our parents were furious, but it made them realize we were serious.  
  
"We were so happy. We got our own apartment and built a life for ourselves. We loved each other and even the simple little things about our life. We didn't have a lot, and our parents helped us out here and there, despite their reluctance. But Max and I, we were too proud to accept their assistance very often. There were times when we didn't know how we'd make it from one week to the next. Sometimes all we had was a jar of peanut butter and a loaf of bread. But we couldn't have been happier. We had each other. And to us, that was all that mattered."  
  
"What happened?" Sean asked.  
  
"Max and I, we had a lot of dreams. But one shone a bit brighter than the others. We wanted a family. You know, a boy, a girl, maybe two. We loved each other so much. What more ultimate way to express our love than to have a child together? We'd look through catalogues and pick out baby furniture. We'd go shopping, and Max would stare at the baby clothes, whispering how he couldn't wait until we had a reason to buy some."  
  
Liz stopped talking, lowering her head, as she felt her chest constrict. She let out a soft sob, and clasped her hands together. "We thought we were invincible. We were wrong."  
  
Sean reached out and took Liz's hands in his own, pulling her up out of her chair, and onto the bed next to him. He put his arm around her shoulder. "What happened?"  
  
This is where it all gets fuzzy, Liz wanted to say. "I found out one day that I couldn't have Max's children. You already know that about me. I was heartbroken. All our dreams about having a family wouldn't come true. I couldn't bear the thought."  
  
"And Max just let you leave?" Sean sounded outraged. "What kind of bastard."  
  
Liz wiped a tear from her cheek and shook her head. "No! No! Max fought tooth and nail for me. But in the end, I had to leave. I wouldn't tie him down. He tried to tell me that we could adopt, but it didn't change things. I'd seen him talk about having children of his own. I'd seen the sparkle in his eyes and I loved him too much to deny him that. So I just left. I took some money from my parents, packed a few clothes, and headed off to New York. You know the rest."  
  
"So many things make sense now," Sean said, nodding his head. "God." They sat in silence for several moments, as Sean seemed to process this information.  
  
And, then, he did the absolutely last thing Liz had ever expected he would. Her fiancé started to laugh.  
  
Liz pulled away, stared at him. "You think this is funny?" She demanded in shock.  
  
"NO!" Sean exclaimed, still laughing softly to himself. "I'm just reflecting on the complete lunacy of this whole situation. I think the gods are trying to tell me something." He didn't really seem to be talking to her at all anymore though, instead was obviously thinking about something else.  
  
"What?" Liz could feel herself starting to get angry.  
  
"Liz," Sean said, framing her face with his hands. " I'm so sorry things happened like that for you. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be with the person you love. You deserve Max."  
  
Hearing these words, Liz realized that Sean was being way too calm now. She'd just told him that she couldn't marry him, had spent the better part of the time telling him about her husband and the life she'd had that he knew nothing about. And he wasn't even mad. Something was wrong with this picture.  
  
Liz looked at him suspiciously. "Why aren't you mad?" she asked.  
  
Sean looked surprised by her question, then tried to cover it up. "I'm furious," he said nervously, his eyes looking anywhere but at Liz.  
  
"Sean, you're acting weird. I know you. Something's up with you. You were apopolectic when we first got here. Why are you being so nice?" Liz persisted.  
  
Sean stared at her. "I lied about not wanting children," he said quickly, looking away again.  
  
"What?" Liz demanded again.  
  
"I want kids. I just never thought I could have them either." He sighed heavily. "The reason I barely spend any time with my brother and his family is because it just makes me jealous. I'm never going to have that."  
  
Liz stared at him. "I have no idea what you're talking about," she finally admitted. "Sean, you [I]can[/I] have that! Why on Earth are you with me if that's what you want?"  
  
Sean took a deep breath, and fell back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling above him. "I have a confession to make too. I never intended to tell you this Liz. I never intended to tell [I]anyone[/I].  
  
"I can't be mad at you, Liz. I have no right. When you talk about Max, your eyes light up. Your face glows. Do you know how long I've wanted to feel that way about someone?"  
  
Liz turned sideways, to look down at Sean through narrowed eyes. "What are you talking about, Sean?"  
  
"I have secrets too, Liz. Things that no one knows about me. Not my friends, not even my parents. Certainly not you. I promised myself I would be a good husband, that if I made this move, you would never know. You were so reserved when we first met that I didn't think you'd really care anyway. I thought we could find companionship together and you could help me to get my mother off my back about marriage too. You're everything she wants for me after all." He said this last part with an underlying bitterness that made Liz even more confused.  
  
Her heart was starting to thump in her chest. "What was I never supposed to know about?" she asked.  
  
"Why did you never question the fact that I didn't want to have a sexual relationship with you?" Sean asked abruptly, completely changing the subject.  
  
"Maybe because I was the one that suggested it?" Liz replied, even more confused. She had absolutely no idea where he was headed with this.  
  
"Right, right, I forgot," Sean said, sitting up. "Well, why didn't you question me when I agreed so readily?" He asked. "I mean, didn't you think that was kind of weird? I'm a thirty year old guy. Not that I care about this, but I could have any woman I wanted. Didn't you think it was a little strange?"  
  
"I guess I was just so relieved that you agreed. I couldn't bear the thought of sharing a bed with anyone but Max, and in this day and time, a relationship with no sex is almost unheard of. I just.when you agreed, I didn't want to push. We've been engaged for such a short time, I guess I haven't really thought in any great detail about how things would have changed." She paused, shaking her head. "Sean, where are you going with this?"  
  
"I'm just going to say it," he said. "Before I lose my courage. When I'm done, you can ask all the questions you want. I'll give you all the answers." He paused, shook his head. "God, this so hard to say. I mean, I can't believe I'm telling you this. But now that you've been so honest with me, I feel like I owe you this. So you won't feel like you're absolutely murdering my heart or something." He again seemed to be talking more to himself than to her. But at last he looked up and stared right into her eyes. "Plus, I trust you. I know that you'll keep this to yourself until I figure out what I want to do about it."  
  
"Sean, what?" Liz demanded, drawing the word out. "Whatever it is, it can't be as bad as what you have swirling through my brain right now." [I]My first husband is an alien. Nothing can shock me now,[/I] Liz reflected a bit hysterically. [I]I mean, unless he's a murderer or something. Oh my God! What if he's a murderer![/I] She was momentarily worried that she'd said that out loud, but even if she had, she didn't think Sean would have noticed. He was really sweating now. He looked about ready to pass out.  
  
"Liz, this is going to come as a shock, considering everything. You know, the Most Eligible Bachelor thing and so forth."  
  
Liz cut him off impatiently. "Sean!"  
  
He took a deep breath. "Okay. Here it is. I think.I think that I might be gay." 


	16. Chapter 16

[u]Part 16[/u]  
  
Tess raised her hand, waved it over the rock face and then placed her palm firmly against the silver handprint that gleamed out. Because of the contrast with the bright sunlight of a desert mid-afternoon, the pod chamber was even darker than usual when she stepped through the opening. She blinked, trying to hurry the process of adjusting to the dimness.  
  
She picked her way carefully through to the main cave, keeping her eyes firmly on the ground in order to make sure she didn't trip over anything. They hadn't exactly been the best housekeepers lately, Tess reflected wryly as she was forced to push aside a cobweb that dangled abruptly into her face. It was rare for any of them to ever come here. Secret meetings seemed to be a thing of the past after all. They'd never heard a peep out of their enemies after Nasedo's death, adding another to the long list of all the reasons that Tess should have questioned her future self's version of coming events.  
  
The end of the world seemed pretty unlikely right about now, she mused, as she managed to catch a glimpse of what she was looking for. Her eyes narrowed as she passed a sleeping bag lying neatly rolled against the wall. She frowned, wondered where it had come from. She didn't remember ever seeing it there before. Obvously someone [I]had[/I] been here.  
  
Tess crouched beside the blanket, ran her fingers over it, hoping for a flash of some sort. Nothing. She untied the cord holding it together and spread it out, plopping down on top of it. She picked up what had been placed beside it, the person who had brought the sleeping bag there obviously having had the same reading material in mind. They had kept it here ever since Tess had returned to Roswell with the translated copy. No one could get into the pod chamber but the four of them. It had seemed perfectly safe, likely still was. It had to have been Michael or Isabel or, more probably, Max who had been here.  
  
Her hands felt chilled against the metal cover of the destiny book. She ran her fingertips lightly over the symbol engraved on the front, staring right through it. She had decided to come and look at the book again while she waited for Max to get off work. She might as well try and do something productive until she could start harassing him again. When he was at the UFO Center, he blew her off too easily. She fully intended to track him down at home later that day in order to make sure he wasn't planning something stupid when it came to Liz.  
  
Tess shook her head, tried to rid herself of thoughts of Max. She had to stop worrying about him. She fully intended to help him get Liz back, but the best way for now was to get him all the ammunition he needed. And the most important thing was to find out how she had gotten her translation of the book so wrong. Because, in the end, it hadn't just been Future Tess who had convinced her that she and Max were destined to be together. This damn book had a lot to do with it too.  
  
She [I]could[/I] read it. She hadn't always been able to, had been surpised that she could after Future Tess's visit. She imagined that her sudden literacy of Antarian had to do with the visit, and somewhere deep inside she was beginning to suspect that while the translation had been correct, she had missed something important. She had not truly suspected treachery from that other version of herself until very recently.  
  
Now all she saw when she looked at the Destiny Book were treachery and lies.  
  
She would read the damn thing from cover to cover as many times as it took to figure out exactly what she had gotten wrong.  
  
Tess settled back against the wall of the cave, opened the book to the first page and started to read.  
  
*******************************************************  
  
"You.you what?" Liz choked, staring at Sean in disbelief.  
  
"You heard me," he said quietly. He was back on his feet, had started to pace again. "I think I might be gay."  
  
"You think?" Liz repeated dumbly, feeling like she had been hit by a truck. "You don't know?"  
  
He turned his head, his eyes meeting hers squarely. "I know."  
  
Liz stood, her heart pounding. She was shocked, needless to say, mainly because she had been so totally self-absorbed during their relationship that this had never once even occurred to her. How could she, of all people, not have known?  
  
But, inherently, she knew that her shock couldn't matter. He had said that she was the first person in the world that he had ever told about this. Her reaction was going to be the benchmark for all reactions that followed. She loved him. She would not disappoint him.  
  
He trusted her.  
  
And, yet, in the end, all she said was, "O-o-o-kay." It came out like a long sigh, not sounding particularly accusatory or angry, but certainly not accepting either.  
  
"I know this is a shock." Sean started, trailing off. "It's a shock to me too." He stopped pacing, flopped back into a chair across the room. "It's like this weight has been lifted off my shoulders to actually tell you this." He trailed off, then sat up straight, squaring his shoulders. "You can ask me whatever you want." He grinned slightly, looking a little bemused. "I know you must have something you want to know."  
  
"I just don't get it," Liz finally admitted. "Why did you ask me to marry you?"  
  
Sean closed his eyes, abruptly weary. "I told you why. I love you. You are my best friend in the world and I thought we'd rub along well together."  
  
"But." Liz was searching for the words. "Don't you want a.I mean, a [I]real[/I] relationship? Didn't you think I'd have questions eventually?"  
  
There was a long silence. She watched his face as a thousand emotions whirled across its handsome lines. "My parents." He shrugged. "They're never going to accept this Liz. I've always known it. My mother has been driving me nuts for years about getting married. I just wanted to get it over with."  
  
She felt a bit angry at that. "So I was just a means to get your mother off your back? To make sure you had to stay in the closet?" But Liz knew exactly what Sean was talking about. Mr. and Mrs. Deveraux were about as conservative as two people could be. They had once met her fellow fashion designer Jean-Paul, who was flamboyantly 'out', at one of her shows and their disdain had been very thinly veiled. Her anger faded. Like she had a right to be annoyed anyway. Her lies had been far worse than his. He had at least been planning to attempt a full marriage with her. Her own attempts would have been pathetically futile she realized now.  
  
Because, in her heart, Max would still have been her husband. Even had she married Sean or anyone else. Even if they never could be together.  
  
Liz certainly understood how easy it was to lie to yourself, how easy it was to pretend that you could always do it, that life [I]would[/I] go on, that it could be shaped how you wanted it.  
  
Sean sighed. "Well, that's the simple way of putting it, yeah." He shook his head. "But, in my heart, no. I just wasn't ready to deal with any of this Liz. With the fact that if I really wanted a meaningful relationship, I was going to have to disappoint my parents. With you, I pretty much had it all."  
  
"Except for the sex part," Liz said, deciding she might as well get right to the point.  
  
"Yeah." He shrugged. "It seemed like a fair trade-off. And I wouldn't have been depriving you of anything, because you couldn't have kids anyway."  
  
"And you didn't think I wouldn't notice that we never had sex?"  
  
Sean met her eyes squarely. "Liz, really. Would you have minded? I didn't even know about Max and I [I]knew[/I] you wouldn't mind."  
  
Liz grimaced. "God. Was I that frigid?" It saddened her, that she had not known herself at all, that she had still been so frozen by leaving Max that she hadn't even noticed that she was completely shut-off from everyone, including someone she really thought she could marry.  
  
"Not frigid," Sean insisted. "Careful. Solitary."  
  
She shook her head. "Pathetic."  
  
"Not that," Sean replied firmly. "Never that. You are warm and funny and smart. You are just very physically reserved." He paused, grinned sheepishly. "I have to admit, I thought you might be gay too. A small-town girl lying to herself."  
  
Liz smiled in spite of herself. "No." There was another long silence. Liz searched her mind for something to say to him, something to make him feel that telling her had not been a mistake. Because he had made such an incredibly brave first step today, whether he knew it or not. There had been no need for him to tell her any of this. He could have continued with his outrage, could have left her high and dry with her guilty conscience and he had chosen not to.  
  
"Sean, I want you to know." She wrinkled her nose, wondered how best to say what she wanted him to hear. "None of this matters to me of course. I love you and I always will. And I want you to know that I'll be here for you if you decide to tell your parents."  
  
He reached across the space dividing them. She lifted her hand and took his. He squeezed her fingers warmly. "I know that Liz. I never doubted that about you."  
  
"But.why.I mean, why did you think you had to tell me this?" She asked in a rush. "Are you.are you ready to deal with it?"  
  
"I don't know.I think, maybe."  
  
"But [I]why?[/I]" Liz asked, perplexed. "Why now?"  
  
"The way you talked about Max," Sean said quietly. "I want that. I really, really do. I want the whole package."  
  
The whole package. Liz felt a dull ache in her heart. She had thought that she and Max had the whole package until she had found out the very pertinent fact that she couldn't give him the one thing he needed above all others. A child of his own. And no matter how much they loved each other, no matter how right they felt for each other, she could not risk the whole world for her own selfish desires.  
  
She felt Sean's questioning gaze on her face, as though he was waiting for her to deny that she had shared something that significant with Max, something he could aspire to have for himself.  
  
"I know that there's more to all of this then the fact that you couldn't have kids," Sean said abruptly.  
  
"You do?" Liz asked, looking up. "There isn't, I swear."  
  
"Liz, you worry too much about other people and you end up hurting them even more," Sean told her.  
  
"I do?"  
  
"You didn't tell me about Max at all. You must have some idea that had I really been in love with you, it would have devastated me. And, yet, I can't be mad at you about that. Because I feel like, somewhere inside that beautiful heart of yours, you felt that by not telling me about him - by not telling me that I could never have your whole heart - you thought that you were protecting me."  
  
Liz stared at him dumbfounded, wondered how on Earth he had put all of her innermost thoughts so succinctly. She had been in turmoil for months, unable to explain even to herself why she couldn't just talk to Sean about Max. Because hadn't she believed that she was totally over her husband? It shouldn't have been so hard.  
  
But she couldn't lie to him. Not anymore. "It wasn't just that," she admitted. "I didn't even know how I felt about him myself. I thought I could get over him. I thought I [I]was[/I] over him. When he didn't come after me."  
  
"You were testing him?" Sean asked. "Was that it? Even though he had already passed every test you had ever given him?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"He still wanted you, even when you couldn't have a baby. And that wasn't enough. You thought he would start to resent you and so you ran. And then when he didn't show up in New York, you found your reason to start hating him, so that you could survive it."  
  
Liz's mouth fell open. She had absolutely no words. Because he had said it all. Finally she managed to say, "It's not even true though." Her voice sounded strangled, even to her own ears and, yet, once she started talking, she couldn't stop. The words tumbled from her lips, one after the other like a floodgate had been released. "The one reason I had to hate him.it's not even true. He [I]did[/I] come. I just never knew. He saw me with you and he left again. We weren't even together yet and he left. He wanted me to be happy."  
  
She felt tears fill her eyes. Sean jumped to his feet, joined her on the bed, putting his arm around her comfortingly. "What is it about you Liz Evans? Why don't you think you deserve to be happy?"  
  
"Why don't you think [I]you[/I] do?" She countered swiftly, her heart in so much pain she had to stop thinking about it. Reflecting on how much she had hurt Max was almost unbearable. There was no way to make up for it. Even telling him the truth about everything.he was going to be devastated that she hadn't trusted him enough to tell him, hadn't trusted him enough to help her to figure out a way to fix things that didn't include stomping on both of their hearts.  
  
"You aren't being fair to him you know."  
  
Liz blinked, raised her eyes and stared at Sean. "What do you mean?"  
  
"I know there's something else going on with you Liz. You can deny it all you want, but there is more to this than simply the fact that you can't have kids." Sean was pensive as he continued. "There are secrets in this town. I've felt it from the moment I set foot in it." He shrugged. "Maybe it's one of the reasons I wanted to start dealing with mine. I don't know. But the point is, secrets suck. No one has ever lived a full life by keeping secrets. Especially from the person they love." He paused, then continued quietly, "Liz, you're too good at keeping them. And it goes against your very nature. I may not have known about Max, but I think I know you will enough to know that. If you keep this up, you will kill yourself."  
  
Liz sighed, leaned her head against her ex-fiancé's shoulder, wished he wasn't right. "I wish I could tell you Sean. I really do."  
  
He squeezed her lightly. "It's not [I]me[/I] you need to tell. I know what I need to know now."  
  
"I know. And I will. I.I've finally realized that I have to tell Max the truth, if only for his own good. I should have done it four years ago. He's been stuck Sean. He hasn't moved forward and it's only made things worse for both of us now."  
  
Sean sighed heavily too. "So you don't want to get back together with him? Even though I pretty much know you still love him?"  
  
"I love him too much to do that to him," Liz replied. "But I can at least tell him the real reason why."  
  
Max would understand. He [I]had[/I] to. Because she refused to allow the misery of the last four years to have been for nothing. He [I]needed[/I] a child of his own blood and if he had to be told flat-out, she would do it. He was not a selfish person. She had underestimated how much he loved her, how long it would take him to move on, but once he knew.  
  
He would do what had to be done. And she would go back to New York so that she wouldn't have to watch it happen. So that she wouldn't have to see someone else - not Tess, but [I]someone[/I] - bear the child that should have been hers.  
  
There were tears welling in her eyes again, so she felt an overwhelming sense of relief when she heard the muffled sound of her cell phone from across the room. She stood, hurried to her purse near the door and answered it on the fourth ring.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hey Liz, it's me."  
  
Her heart started to thunder in her chest at the sound of his voice. "Max?"  
  
"Yeah. I got your number from Maria. Listen, I need to see you. Can you meet me at the Crashdown for dinner? You can bring Sean. I'd like to get to know him better." Liz started in surprise, didn't reply. What on Earth was he talking about? What game was he playing now? She knew that the last person in the world he wanted to get to know better was Sean.  
  
"Liz? Are you there?" Max demanded, sounding impatient and in no way like someone who was trying to mend fences. She frowned slightly, wondering what he was up to.  
  
She knew she would find out soon enough though. Trying to stay away from him, trying to ignore the way he baited her.she couldn't do it. It amazed her that she found the stranger he had become even more fascinating then the boy she had known so well. She [I]wanted[/I] to understand him, [I]needed[/I] to grasp how and why he had changed.  
  
"Yeah," she said, knew her bewilderment was reflected in her voice. "Okay. How's six?"  
  
"Six is fine. One of the kids from the school's working at the Center tonight."  
  
"Okay. See you then."  
  
"Yup." He hung up without further ado, leaving Liz to start down at her phone, a slight frown again on her face.  
  
"What's wrong?" Sean asked, concerned.  
  
"He wants to meet us for dinner. He wants to get to know [I]you[/I] better."  
  
There was a long moment of silence and then Sean burst out laughing. Liz scowled at him. "This is [I]not[/I] funny Sean Deveraux! It's really weird is what it is. I don't understand Max at all anymore. This is the [I]last[/I] thing he should want!"  
  
"Which is why he's doing it Liz," Sean replied, still sounding amused. "Don't you get it? But I guess you don't. It's so obvious, only another guy would understand."  
  
"What?" She shook her head, still totally perplexed. "Get what?"  
  
"He wants you to see us side-by-side and he wants you to have to compare us. And he thinks he's going to win. Your husband is declaring war on me."  
  
*******************************************************  
  
"This is a [I]bad[/I] idea," Tess told Isabel as she followed her friend into the Crashdown. "I never did get a chance to talk to Max. We should call him again. He is totally avoiding me and he's also up to something. I don't trust him one bit."  
  
"Tess, I'm hungry," Isabel snapped. "Max is a grown man. He can look after himself. End of discussion."  
  
"But [I]why[/I] won't he talk to me? What is he planning?" Tess knew she was fretting, maybe over nothing, but she had the distinct impression that Max was deliberately staying away from her. He knew she wanted to talk to him about Liz and, yet, he had left work early and had not gone home. He [I]always[/I] went home when he wasn't at the four other places he frequented. Max had nowhere else to go except the Crashdown, Michael and Maria's, Isabel's or her apartment.  
  
"Who knows?" Isabel waved her hand in the air. "All I care about is that he signed those damn divorce papers. Maybe now he'll move on and forget all about Liz. She never deserved him anyway."  
  
"Isabel, you know he still loves her," Tess admonished. "And he fully intends to win her back. Which is what makes me nervous. I just know he's going to do something stupid. He promised Liz he wouldn't try to get back together with her again, which leads me to believe that he's about to go the completely opposite route to make Liz realize what she's missing."  
  
Isabel slid into a booth, picking up a menu. "So? I say more power to him. That boy needs a date in the worst way. He's wound about as tight as."  
  
"Isabel! Ew!" Tess shrieked.  
  
"Hey, he's my brother, it's gross, but it's the truth," Isabel replied haughtily.  
  
"Too much truth for the dinner table," Tess complained. "I mean, really! He's practically my brother too you know."  
  
Isabel shot her a withering look. "You didn't have to witness Max and Liz in all their mooshy glory my friend. You have no idea what it's like. It cannot [I]possibly[/I] be worse with anyone else."  
  
Tess grimaced and picked up a menu as well. She wasn't sure why, since she could practically recite it from memory, but she needed something to distract her from the entirely disturbing image of Max with Liz, or anyone. The irony of it was not lost on her. The fact was that she had once wanted to jump Max's bones herself, But since Kyle, the whole thought was just extremely off-putting.  
  
Well, at least she [I]did[/I] have other things to think about. Or, rather, the absolute frustration of [I]knowing[/I] there were other things but not being able to understand them.  
  
Her analysis of the Destiny Book had gotten her nowhere. It still read exactly what it had before, the basic gist being that Max needed to have a kid or the world would end. It said that only the one "made compatible" could mother it and she didn't see how anyone else in the world had been made for Max except her. Which was so [I]not[/I] the answer she was looking for.  
  
Tess swallowed, flinched at the images that crossed her mind, the images Future Tess's visit had firmly implanted in her brain. Of death, destruction, the end of the world.  
  
"Tess?" She heard the concern in Isabel's voice, raised her eyes to meet her friend's gaze. "Are you feeling okay? You look a little green." She trailed off, narrowed her gaze. "Wait a minute. You're not pregnant are you?"  
  
Tess blinked. "What? What makes you ask that?" The sheer weirdness of Isabel's question in light of Tess's recent obsession with alien procreation did not escape her, in fact made her heart beat a little faster.  
  
Isabel shrugged. "I don't know. It's just that you've been all over the map emotionally lately. Sort of worried and freaky. Maria was like that before Eliza. And the fact that you look like you want to throw up at the moment. It just makes me wonder." She trailed off, still suspicious.  
  
Tess shook her head ruefully at Isabel's bluntness. She had ever been anything but shy. "Kyle and I are not having a baby," she repeated. Tess bit her lip, glanced around the restaurant, lowering her voice. "But you're right that I'm worried. Isabel, can you talk to you about something?"  
  
"Of course!" Isabel replied, sounding offended that she had even asked such a question. There was a pause. "As long as it has nothing to do with Liz Parker."  
  
"Liz [I]Evans[/I]," Tess reminded her pointedly. "Elizabeth Evans Isabel." Isabel snorted, tossed her head. "I know even you think it's a little weird that Liz kept Max's name and you suspect exactly what I know Isabel. Liz didn't want to leave Max."  
  
"I know no such thing," Isabel snapped. "She finally realized that she wanted more than Roswell, New Mexico and she abandonned my brother. The lovely life she's made for herself in New York more than drives home the point. That's all there is to it."  
  
Tess sighed, waited for Max's sister's anger to blow itself out, as it always did. She reflected yet again on the irony that Isabel was known as the ice queen of Roswell. She was the furthest thing from cold there was. When Isabel continued to sit fuming, Tess tried again. "Izzy, you haven't forbidden Alex to see her. In fact, you let him invite her to your wedding. Liz hurt [I]him[/I] too."  
  
"Don't I know it," Isabel replied, crossing her arms in irritation. "Alex is too much of a softie sometimes, particularly where Maria and Liz are concerned. But Alex has me to pick up the pieces if and when Liz breaks his heart again. Max is all alone. And it's different anyway. You know it is."  
  
"I know." Tess bit her lip again, staring at her best friend. She had to do something about Isabel's attitude. She just [I]had[/I] to. She knew it was only a matter of time before Max and Liz found their way back to each other. It was inevitable. She knew it inherently, particularly after her conversation with Liz, where the other woman had been hard-pressed to hide her emotional turmoil. There was only one answer for where that turmoil came from. Liz knew that divorcing Max was a mistake.  
  
Oh yes. Unless Max did something crazy - which Tess was becoming more and more sure he was about to, being as, when it came to Liz, he was the most impatient alien in the universe - he and Liz would reunite.  
  
The last thing they would need was interference from those who loved Max. He had enough to deal with without Isabel throwing up roadblocks. Maria would handle Michael, Tess did not doubt, but it was up to [I]her[/I] to handle Isabel.  
  
Plus, she knew that she was going to have to tell them all the truth eventually. She had managed to keep it to herself for so long because she hadn't been certain that Liz had really been visited by Future Tess, but now that she knew she had been.Well, none of them had any right to judge Liz and the choices she had made. The only one who had that right was Max and Tess knew in her heart that he had already forgiven her, even if he hadn't gotten the whole story from Liz yet.  
  
"Isabel, do you remember that when you and I finally became friends, you asked me why I decided to come back to Roswell?"  
  
Isabel stared at her. Tess could see her friend's bewilderment at what seemed like an abrupt change of topic reflected on her face. "Yes. You told me that you had realized that you had been trying to make us accept you on [I]your[/I] terms. That you had realized while you were gone that it had to be on our terms. That you had to be patient."  
  
"Well, that was true," Tess replied. "But I left out a little tidbit. When I came back to town, Liz was already gone. It made my life a heck of a lot easier, I'll tell you that much. Because the real reason I came back was to have a baby with Max."  
  
She wrinkled her nose slightly at the way her friend's face paled. "Oh my God." Isabel swallowed, reached out and took Tess's hand in hers. "Are you telling me that you and [I]Max[/I] are having a baby?"  
  
Tess stared at her in horror. "[I]What[/I]?" She screeched, after she realized that she had truly heard her friend correctly. "Are you insane?"  
  
"Well, you said before that you and [I]Kyle[/I] weren't having a baby. And now you start spouting off about having come back to Roswell to have a baby with my brother." Isabel glared at her. "I don't think it's much of a leap Tess!"  
  
Tess rolled her eyes. "Right. This after I just told you how gross the mere thought of Max with anyone makes me."  
  
Isabel looked mildly embarrassed. "Oh. I forgot about that."  
  
Tess glared at her. "Are you ready to listen to me now?" When Isabel nodded guiltily, she continued, "Okay, the reason I thought Max and I needed to have a baby was that." She trailed off in frustration when the door to the Crashdown opened and Max came through it. She felt a rush of relief. "This is going to have to wait," she told Isabel. "Max is here. He knows, but he can't know that I was about to tell you."  
  
Isabel shrieked, "What? NO! That's not fair!"  
  
"Jeez, what's wrong with you Izzy?" Max demanded as he came across the restaurant to join them. He slid into the booth beside Tess, staring at his sister.  
  
"I just told her that Maria told [I]me[/I] that they're out of cherry syrup. She can't have an Alien Blast," Tess told him smoothly, earning a sneer from Isabel.  
  
"Hmmm," Max said, sounding amused. Tess could hear in his tone that he knew she was lying, but he didn't seem to mind. Which only made Tess's suspicions that he was preoccupied with idiot plans more valid. "I didn't realize you loved them so much sister of mine," Max continued, obviously hoping to rub Tess's nose in her fib.  
  
Tess decided to attack head-on. She turned her head and regarded him. "You've been avoiding me."  
  
Max glanced at her, his expression perfectly innocent. "I have?"  
  
"Yes, you have." Tess glowered at him in what she hoped was a threatening manner. He didn't seem particularly frightened though. "Since when do you leave work in the middle of the day?"  
  
"Since never," Max replied, grinning mischieviously. "Today was special though. I had plans to make."  
  
"Do these plans have something to do with Liz?" Tess demanded.  
  
"What? Of course not," Max said, still smiling. "Whatever would make you think that?"  
  
"Oh, just the fact that you told me earlier that you plan to win her back. And the fact that you wore that stupid vest today."  
  
"The vest?" Max looked truly perplexed. "Tess, it's my uniform."  
  
"You wanted Liz to see you in it," Tess shot back. "You wanted her to remember you back then."  
  
"I have no idea what you're talking about," Max replied. "Izzy, tell Tess that she's becoming entirely too suspicious in her old age."  
  
Tess sighed. This was just what she had been afraid of - he was going completely off the deep end. "Max, you better not be about to do something stupid."  
  
He was clearly now ignoring her though. His gaze was fixed on the door and she saw the exact moment who he had been expecting appeared. His face lit up, followed by a quick narrowing of his gaze. "Excellent. Let the games begin." He almost sounded evil, if Max had been capable of it. Which he so was not.  
  
This was going to be incredibly bad. Tess closed her eyes and leaned her head against the booth. Because coming through the door were Liz and her fiancé.  
  
She just hoped that she would be able to do damage control somehow. She could see now that because Liz had made him promise that he wouldn't try and win her back the above-board way, he was going the sneaky route. And, since Max's personality was just not sneaky, this was going to end in disaster.  
  
Now, if she could only figure out what he was planning to do. She grimaced, watched in dismay as he rose and went to meet Liz and Sean. "I think we're in for a long night Isabel," Tess muttered.  
  
Isabel followed her gaze worriedly. "He's going to get himself even more hurt, isn't he?"  
  
"Oh yeah," Tess sighed, wishing she knew how to stop it.  
  
********************************************  
  
Liz held onto Sean's arm more tightly then she meant to as they walked through the front doors of her parents' restaurant. She didn't know why she was nervous. She was ready for absolutely anything Max Evans was preparing for her. Now that she planned to tell him the truth, she was back in control of this situation. She would not let him gain the upper hand. He would not seduce her into giving in. She would [I]not[/I] allow it.  
  
Max was coming towards them as Liz looked around to get her bearings. He had his hand out and took Sean's immediately. "Hey guys! I'm glad you came." He paused, looked from Liz to Sean. "I hope everything has been worked out between you two?"  
  
Liz glared at him. She opened her mouth to snap that it was none of his business, but Sean beat her to it, nodding graciously and saying, "Of course," ending that line of questioning before it could get any further. He had told her earlier that it was up to her how and when she wanted to tell Max that they were no longer engaged.  
  
She felt her heart begin to beat more quickly when Max's gaze narrowed slightly, but whatever disappointment she had seen there was instantly gone. She might have even imagined it.  
  
"Well, that's great," Max said. "And since the better man obviously won, I've decided to let bygones be bygones. Liz and I were always friends first and I at least hope we can go back to that."  
  
"That's very big of you." Sean was beginning to sound amused. "So dinner then?"  
  
"Yeah." Max grinned. "I thought Liz might enjoy sharing a last meal in the place we first really met."  
  
Liz flinched. Well, that had been a low blow. He was bitter all right. He might have signed the divorce papers but he was still angry about it. He had been quietly accepting of it last night, but apparently that was no longer true.  
  
".waiting for someone else to join us." Liz blinked, tuned in to what Max was saying as he led she and Sean to a booth near the back. She smiled weakly at Tess, who was seated nearby, and who was also staring at her, her sympathy evident on her face, but also her disgust, likely that Liz had been stupid enough to agree to this. Liz didn't blame her one bit.  
  
It took her a moment to realize who was seated with the blonde woman. Her hair was shorter, but there was no mistaking Isabel Evans. Particularly as the glare Liz was being treated to could only come from the ice queen of Roswell herself.  
  
Oh dear lord. What had she gotten herself into?  
  
Not that she didn't deserve it. Liz knew she did. But it still hurt. She and Isabel had started to become friends after she had married Max. Isabel had even once called her her sister before she realized what she had done and had quickly backtracked.  
  
No, it hadn't been just her husband she had lost when she had walked out on Max.  
  
Liz knew that she needed to confront Max immediately, needed to tell him that the only reason she had come was because she needed to talk to him - alone. But, somehow, this situation was already spinning wildly out of control. She knew she should have left Sean back at the motel, but he had been insistant that he would come to support her. Big mistake. His presence was only making the whole thing harder.  
  
Her thoughts were in such turmoil, it took her that long to understand what Max had been saying. "Wait a minute." She interrupted whatever inane conversation Max and Sean were having as they waited for her to slide herself into the booth. "Did you say someone else was coming?"  
  
Max met her gaze. It was only then that she understood the gleam she saw there. "Of course Liz. We're divorced now. You didn't think I was going to spend the rest of my life alone did you?"  
  
Liz felt her blood pressure beginning to rise, her anger starting to overcome her sorrow and confusion. "Are you telling me that you invited a [I]date[/I]?"  
  
"Sure," Max shrugged. The sound of the bell ringing above the restaurant door made Liz jump. Max's eyes lifted and his face lit up. "Ah! Here she is now!"  
  
Liz turned her head, felt her mouth falling open, although she already knew it was going to be bad. She just [I]knew[/I] it, based on the entirely evil glint she had seen in Max's eyes.  
  
It was far worse than she had imagined. "PAM TROY?" She screeched before she could stop herself, staring at the bottled, buxom blonde who had just entered and was looking around. Her eyes lit on Max a moment later and the predatory expression that crossed her face made Liz want to puke.  
  
Max tilted his head. "Yeah. She works for me. She's grown into quite a lovely woman, hasn't she?" He paused, grinned again. "Of course, I never really noticed before today."  
  
"MAX!" Liz grabbed him by the arm and started to pull him towards the back of the restaurant. "I need to talk to you. Right now!"  
  
Enough was enough. She already understood what he was doing. He had promised not to try to get back together with her, so he was taking the alternate route. He was trying to drive her so mad, all she would be able to do was to tumble back into his arms in order to regain her sanity.  
  
She would not allow it. She [I]refused[/I] to allow it.  
  
He gently disentangled himself from her grasp. "Liz, I have to go say hi to her. I [I]did[/I] invite her. We can talk later." He patted her lightly on the cheek, then moved away. Liz gaped after him in astonishment. Her eyes fell on Tess as she stared after him. The small blonde was sitting with her face buried in her hands. Isabel looked shocked - too shocked to do anything but let her mouth hang open, much in the way Liz knew her own was.  
  
Well, it was obvious that neither of Max's fellow aliens had any idea what he was doing either. Which could only mean one thing. [I]She[/I] wasn't the one who had gone crazy. [I]He[/I] was. She had literally driven him stark-raving mad.  
  
He needed to know the truth. Because, until he did, he was going to continue to dream up these crazy schemes to win her back. And she couldn't take much more of it.  
  
It was in that instant that she watched in horror as Pam threw her arms around Max's neck and kissed him full on the mouth in front of the entire restaurant.  
  
Before she even knew what she was doing, Liz had barreled across the Crashdown, had grabbed Pam by the shoulder and hauled her off of Max. "Get away from my husband you trollop!"  
  
The complete silence that fell over the restaurant as every head turned to stare at them made it so that she realized exactly what she had said in the next split second.  
  
Oh no.  
  
Pam blinked at her. "What are you talking about Liz?" She asked, glancing at Max in dismay. "Max told me you were divorced."  
  
"We [I]are[/I] divorced," Max put in evenly, although he looked slightly shell-shocked that Pam had kissed him. That had obviously not been a part of his plan, much to Liz's relief.  
  
"Aren't you divorced Liz?" Pam demanded again, glaring at her. Her beady eyes made Liz's fury ratchet up again.  
  
"NO!" Liz shrieked. "We are [I]not[/I] divorced. Until I sign those papers, we are still married and he still belongs to me."  
  
Well, so much for playing it cool. So much for making him think she didn't still want him. So much for not letting him find out she hadn't signed the papers. Liz felt tears beginning to fill her eyes. She stared around the room frantically, looking for an escape. She felt his eyes hot on her, knew that she was not going to be able to avoid his gaze.  
  
When she finally met his eyes, he looked sorry. He really did. And also ashamed.  
  
He actually felt ashamed of himself. When this was the only weapon she had left him. He had known that the only way to make her admit that she still wanted him was to make her jealous. The ease with which he had accomplished it made her want to cry even more.  
  
How was she ever going to leave him again? How could she ever let him move on with someone else? Until this instant, she had never understood how completely she would be unable to handle it.  
  
They were all doomed.  
  
She couldn't take it another minute. She needed air.  
  
Liz turned on her heel and ran.  
  
********************************************  
  
"Well, I hope you're happy with yourself."  
  
Tess had never been more furious in her life. She had stood up when Liz had come across the room, hoping to stop her, but had missed grabbing her by an inch. Now she moved over to Max, who was staring after Liz, his expression horrified.  
  
"Well, she sure proved she still cares," Pam said quietly.  
  
"Who asked you?" Tess glared at her. When Max had hired Pam, she had been revolted, although he had insisted that she wasn't as bad as everyone thought. Tess, Isabel and Maria had all been convinced that the blonde merely wanted to jump Max's bones though. Over the months, Tess's opinion had changed, as Pam worked diligently, not showing any romantic interest in Max at all. However, tonight had certainly proven Tess's original estimation right.  
  
"Tess, don't blame Pam," Max snapped. "This is all my fault. She was only helping me out."  
  
Tess snorted. "A likely story."  
  
Pam shrugged. "Believe what you want Tess. Although I did take that a bit far. I just couldn't resist. Liz Parker is an idiot. She always was. She doesn't deserve you Max." She grinned, her delight evident. "But if you want her, you can obviously still have her. Because I sure got a reaction." She stood on her toes and kissed Max lightly on the cheek. "You better go after her boss. Good luck. I'll see you tomorrow."  
  
With that, she sauntered out of the restaurant.  
  
Tess knew her nostrils flared as she glared at Max again. If Kyle were there, he would be cringing. He knew it only happened when she was truly enraged. "You are a total idiot."  
  
"I agree." Tess turned her head, saw Isabel standing nearby, her arms crossed. Whatever anger she still fostered towards Liz, she was obviously just as disgusted by her brother as Tess was.  
  
"I [I]know[/I]," Max groaned. "It was idiotic. But I didn't know what else to do! She left me no choice!"  
  
"He's right you know." All three of them turned their heads to stare at Sean. Tess blinked. She had totally forgotten about his presence. He had witnessed the whole thing.  
  
Poor Liz. There was no way she was going to be able to explain what had just happened. Her engagement was as good as over.  
  
"What do you mean?" Isabel asked.  
  
"She loves you," Sean said to Max. "But she's stubborn. She thinks that you deserve better than her and she never would have given in on her own. You had to do this. It sucked, but she never would have caved. Trust me, I know her. She's ferocious about protecting the people she loves."  
  
"I know," Max said, closing his eyes briefly. When he opened them, he met Tess's gaze again. "But I'm still sorry about it."  
  
"Then go fix things," Sean ordered. "Go make her face the fact that she can't make all the decisions in your relationship. And make her smile again. She hasn't really smiled the entire time I've known her. She deserves that."  
  
Tess watched dawning realization cross Max's face. She didn't fully grasp why until her friend asked, "She broke the engagement?"  
  
"She did," Sean agreed. "But she still thinks that you're better off without her. You need to prove her wrong."  
  
Max's expression hardened. "Don't worry. I have every intention of doing just that."  
  
Tess watched her friend's determined stride as he left and, for the first time, she thought he might actually just succeed. Because he now had the proof he needed that Liz still loved him. She had given it herself and her former fiancé had confirmed it.  
  
Tess just hoped that Liz was strong enough to accept the inevitable. She and Max were meant to be together. As hard as she tried to stop it, it was going to happen. Now it was up to Liz to decide how miserable she was going to make both of them before she gave in.  
  
To be continued. 


	17. Chapter 17

[u]Part 17[/u]  
  
Liz rounded a corner and kept running, pushing herself to her physical limit. Beginning to feel the burn in her lungs from sheer exhaustion, she looked around for a place to hide. She wanted somewhere to be alone. To think. To just cry. And the old abandoned sheriff's station across the street seemed like the perfect place.  
  
Forcing her legs to work, urging them on, one in front of the other, Liz ran across the street, and in through what had once been the front doors to the Roswell Sheriff's Office. Now there was nothing but the old frames, the glass having long been broken out. Heading towards the back, where she knew the jail cells were, Liz felt the tears brimming in her eyes, just as she felt her lungs would collapse on her. Heading into the nearest cell, Liz sprawled out onto what had once been a cot, the mattress now gone, and nothing but the metal slats that had once held it in place to hold her up. Despite the fact that they were hard and not the least bit comfortable, Liz was extremely grateful to have someplace to sit.  
  
When she'd seen Pam kiss Max at the Crashdown, she'd been furious. She'd reacted brashly and hadn't thought before jumping into action. When she'd realized what she'd done, she'd not been the least bit embarrassed or ashamed of her actions. She had, however been utterly stupefied, as she'd been hit by a hard dose of reality. And so she'd run, all the while, her mind a jumbled mess of frantic thoughts.  
  
She'd thought she could do it, had thought she was strong enough, courageous enough to do what she knew she had to do. She'd thought so four years ago and had even thought so as recently as two days ago, when she'd arrived in Roswell. She'd thought that she could walk away, leave behind everything she'd ever wanted in a desperate attempt to escape the unthinkable. But as she'd stood in the Crashdown café and watched her husband moving on, just as she'd asked him to do, Liz realized it wasn't strength or courage that she lacked. No, Liz Evans had all the strength and the courage she would need to save the world. What she didn't have was the heart. Liz knew that she didn't have the heart to walk away from the only man she now knew she'd ever marry and never look back. She didn't have the heart to forget the brief, but happy life she'd made with him. But mostly, above all, she didn't have the heart to stop loving him.  
  
The way things were going, the way her life was turning out, there was little doubt she was being driven her mad. So how would she do this? How could she leave him again, knowing that how hard she tried, or how fiercely she fought, she'd never be able to stop loving him? How could she go on, without the love of her life, knowing that she'd spend life alone? She could do it to save the world from an untimely destruction. But would she be able to do it and save herself in the process? Because, in the end, that was all the engagement to Sean had been meant to do. She had thought that pretending she didn't love Max anymore could save her, but that was proving to be a big, fat lie.  
  
Giving in to the pent up emotions she'd been keeping in check, Liz closed her eyes, and pulled her arms tightly around her middle as her body shook with loud, heaving sobs.  
  
She was tired of being strong. She was tired of being the one that suffered. And she was tired of doing it alone. She needed someone. [i]Deserved[/i] someone. It wasn't [I]fair[/I] that she had to do this alone.  
  
Why should she anyway? She'd made a promise to Future Tess four years ago, that she would tell no one what she'd been told. What she'd seen. But that was before she'd known it would be so hard. That was before she realized that she'd [i]never[/i] be able to get over Max. And it was before she'd started to doubt [i]that[/i] Tess had been telling the truth, that her intentions had been anything but good.  
  
Future Tess had [i]told[/i] her. Told her that if she left Roswell, that things would fall into their natural places. That if she left, Max and Tess would fall into the roles that destiny had set aside for them. Future Tess had told her that once she was out of Max's life, he could carry on with what he had been meant to do, that he could do it with the younger Tess and save the world. But Future Tess been wrong.  
  
Liz [i]had[/i] left. But Max and Tess hadn't fallen into the roles that had been set aside for them. In fact, they had rewritten the script altogether. They'd become friends, close friends at that. Tess had fallen in love with another man and Max was still clinging hopelessly to the love he'd shared with Liz. Nothing that Future Tess had said had come true. The child that was supposedly supposed to prevent those horrible things from happening hadn't even been conceived, much less born. It just didn't make sense. So why should she keep her promise? Future Tess had obviously been untruthful about some of the things she'd said, if not everything. It wasn't fair that she should have to keep her promise too.  
  
There had to be some way for her to find out. To separate fact from fiction, and sort out the truth from the lies she knew were entangled in the story she'd been told. She needed to see Tess. Maybe there was something they could do. Together.  
  
Turning on her side and pulling her knees up to her chest, Liz cried for herself. She cried for the heartache and pain she'd had to endure, and for the heartache and pain she knew was yet to come. She cried for Max. For the hurt and pain she'd put him through. She cried for the devastation she knew he'd had to endure when she walked out on him. And even still, she cried for Max and Liz. She cried for what they had been once, how magical their lives once were. She cried for the way things had been, and the way she knew they would never be again.  
  
Lying in the dark room, Liz cried softly, her body shaking with intense emotion for several minutes, until her tears faded away, and all that was left was an empty hole. Taking a deep breath, Liz sighed and swung her legs over the side of the cot, and for the first time, took a good look around at her surroundings. Rubbing her tear streaked face, she realized she knew this place. Not just the sheriff's office, but [i]this[/i] place. She'd been here, in this exact spot before. And suddenly, before her eyes, the walls became cleaner, the floor a bit less dirty, and the metal slats beneath her become a bit softer as she found herself recalling a time when her biggest problems seemed to be a nosy sheriff and an overbearing school guidance counselor.  
  
This was the cell she'd been in when she and Alex had been put in jail after the party at the soap factory all those years ago. And all she could think about was how scared she had been. Not for herself, not for Alex, but for Max. Everywhere she looked, she was reminded of the paralyzing fear she'd felt for Max in those few hours. The steel bars, the wall of the cell across from her where Alex had been, the small window through which the moon's soft light filtered in.  
  
Liz couldn't help but laugh wryly at the irony of the situation. She'd run from Max, leaving him behind in the Crashdown, with Pam. But she found herself at one of the few places in Roswell she'd never been with Max, and even now, everywhere she looked, she was reminded of him.  
  
Because [i]everything[/i]reminded her of Max.  
  
The more Liz looked around at her surroundings, the more she thought of Max. And the more she thought of Max, the angrier she got. Why did she do this? Why did she let him get to her? Even after all this time, Max was her strongest weakness. He was still the only one who could see past all her facades, and see the truth at which she'd made an unsuccessful attempt to hide.  
  
Now Max knew she still cared. He'd known all the right buttons to push and his timing had been precise. He'd taken all the right steps and had been rewarded by Liz's angry and jealous outburst. Now that he knew she cared, Liz knew he'd fight harder than ever to keep her from leaving him again. And he'd do it because he knew it would make it harder for her to leave. Max had known exactly what to do to make her all but admit it.  
  
Liz narrowed her eyes. Max had planned this and had gotten the reaction out of Liz that he'd been hoping for. Which made her even angrier. She'd stepped right into his trap, and despite her valiant efforts, she'd all but admitted in front of everyone that she still loved Max. And that made her angrier than anything. She'd worked so hard and sacrificed so much in a futile attempt to give him up, and she'd let him ruin it all in matter of seconds with his well hatched plan to make her jealous.  
  
"Aggggggh!" Liz cried out. Lifting her hand, she sent a bolt of bright green light towards the chair in the opposite cell, sending it flying against the wall, then shattering across the floor in a pile of broken wood.  
  
That felt better. She'd always been able to quench her anger by using energy. More often than not, she'd be unable to use her powers, so she'd have to settle for throwing around some dishes, or kicking a nearby doorframe or a piece of furniture.  
  
Standing up and raising her hand at the pile of cans in the corner of the small space, she smiled with satisfaction as they crackled and popped, disapearing amidst a shower of green fireworks. The room might be in almost total complete darkness, but she could see well enough to find something to take her frustration out on.  
  
"Hmpf," she muttered triumphantly. Turning once more, she spotted a door across the hall that she knew led to what used to be the Sheriff's office. She raised her hand, and amidst a fury of bright jade light, the door was reduced to a pile of wooden scraps, much like the one that used to be a wooden chair in the next cell.  
  
"Hey, you wanna stop throwing those things around before someone gets hurt?"  
  
Liz whirled around in surprise, and lifted her hand, poised and ready to fire at the unwelcome intruder. How dare he follow her here! After the stunt he'd just pulled, how dare he come after her. Couldn't he just let her wallow in private? Drown in her misery in peace? He had no right. "What are you doing here, Max?" Liz demanded, still not lowering her hand.  
  
"I came after you. I tried to catch you, but you were already too far away. Where did you learn how to run like that anyway?" he asked, leaning over with his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath.  
  
"Go away," she said.  
  
Max shook his head and smirked at her. "No can do, Liz."  
  
"I can hurt you, Max," Liz said, her voice even and flat. She stared at him, her, expression menacing and unwavering.  
  
Max stood up straight, and raised an eyebrow at her. Raising his hand, Liz watched as a bright green shield surrounded him, engulfing the room in its radiant glow, and Max grinned in satisfaction. "No, you can't, Liz."  
  
Huffing angrily, albeit reluctantly, Liz lowered her hand and crossed her arms, glaring at Max through angry eyes. "What do you want?" she asked.  
  
"We need to talk," Max said quietly, lowering his arm and plunging the room into almost darkness once again.  
  
"We've done all the talking there is to do," Liz replied non-chalantly, trying to keep her voice free of emotion. The feelings stirring within her body were almost too much to handle. She could see Max, could faintly make out the outline of his features in the dull light. His tight cheekbones, his sharp jaw, his depthless tawny eyes. But the feel of him was the most overwhelming part. She could feel him all around her, in her breath, in her senses, in her blood. The room was oozing Max, and the air was getting thick and heavy. It was almost too much to take in. She needed to get out of here. Quickly. Taking a step back, Liz felt the roughness of the brick behind her as she hit the back wall. Liz groaned as she realized that there was nowhere to go, that Max stood between she and the only way out of the small cell. Shaking her head, Liz stepped to her right, and sat down on the edge of the cot's metal frame, and put her head in her hands, leaning her elbows on her knees.  
  
Things would never be easy for her. First, she'd had to come to terms with the fact Max had someone else, then had to endure the intense feelings she'd felt after finding out it was Pam. And if that weren't enough, she'd had to deal with the fact that because she was jealous, she'd almost compromised her plan to leave town and never come back.  
  
It was her place to make sure that the world never had to face the fate she had seen when Tess had visited her four years ago. It was [I]her[/I] destiny to live life alone, so that the rest of the world could go on with life around her. And Max's destiny was to somehow produce the heir, with Tess, that would save the world from an untimely destruction. That was the way it had to be. There simply was no other choice. She was willing to accept that. But clearly, just by coming here tonight, Max had shown her that he wasn't.  
  
Now, on top of everything, she was going to have to fight him back.  
  
Breathing heavily, Liz slumped her shoulders, and sighed in resignation. She flinched, and her body stiffened in response when she felt the cot shift slightly beneath her as Max sat down next to her.  
  
"Why can't you just leave me alone, Max?" Liz asked, her voice shaky with emotion.  
  
"I'm sorry, Liz. What just happened was a big mistake. [i]My[/i] mistake," Max said softly, fidgeting with his fingers as he spoke. "I just..I had to do something. I guess I just went about it the wrong way."  
  
"Why are you doing this?" Liz could hear the weariness in her tone, sighed again.  
  
"Liz, why do you keep running from me?" Max asked. "I don't understand it. You love me. I know you do. And you have to know I love you. So why do you keep running? Why can't you just give in, and stay here, with me, where you belong."  
  
"I'm with Sean, Max. That won't change. I love him, and we're.we're getting married." Liz closed her eyes, hoping against hope that she sounded more convinced than she felt.  
  
Max shook his head. "That's not how you [i]really[/i] feel about him, Liz. I know that for a fact."  
  
"How do you." Liz started to ask how he thought he knew, but when she brought her head up to look at him, she already knew by the guilty look on his face. He'd seen it in the flashes. He knew she'd never slept with Sean, and chances are, he probably knew why. That she'd never even considered sharing a bed with anyone but him. But, if he'd seen that, then how much more had he seen? It was possible he'd seen it all. Future Tess, the flashes, the truth about the prophecy, everything. If that was the case then he knew it all. And she was too tired to fight him. "It's not what you think, Max..I.."  
  
"You haven't slept with him."  
  
Liz sighed at Max's statement. It wasn't a question. He [I]did[/I] know. "I don't know what to say to you," she said.  
  
"Just tell me why, Liz. Why have you never taken that step in your relationship with him. You were going to marry him!" Max paused, but after Liz said nothing, he tried again. "I know why, Liz. I saw it in the flashes. I see it in your eyes. But I want to hear you say it. Please, I [I]need[/I] to hear you say it."  
  
[I]I love you, Max. I love you with all my heart, and I always have. I don't want to leave you![I] She couldn't say it out loud, but stared at him, her lips pressed together, willing him not to read it in her eyes.  
  
"Shhhh," Max said, pressing a finger to her lips, as though he could tell how much she was struggling against herself. "It's okay, you don't have to say anything. I'm not mad at you Liz. I'm hurt. Everytime I look at you, I remember how much I missed you, and how completely devastated I was when you left. And then I want to be angry until I realize that you loved me too. That you [I]still[/I] do. I know it hurt you to leave. So why, Liz? Why can't we take that and run with it? We [i]deserve[/i] it. Don't leave me again," he pleaded.  
  
Liz watched Max with glazed eyes. What did she do to deserve him? What kind of person loved someone so unconditionally that they'd be willing to forgive the wrongs done in the past in order to proceed with a better future? Who in this world, or any other for that matter, possessed a heart so strong and so devoted that not even in the face of such miserable pain would the feelings it held falter?  
  
Liz's eyes misted over with the intense wave of emotion she felt coursing through her body and from the equally intense swirls of emotion she saw glimmering in Max's eyes. He loved her. In spite of her faults, all of her shortcomings, and all her misgivings. He'd never given up on her, likely never would.  
  
And it just wasn't fair that she couldn't ever give in.  
  
"Max," Liz began, the pain and defeat evidence in her voice. She tore her eyes away from his piercing gaze and settled them on the concrete beneath her feet. "Please, I can't fight you. Just leave. You have to go. For me, for you, for Tess, for everyone. You don't understand what's at stake here."  
  
Max sighed deeply, and eased off the side of the cot, moving quietly to his knees in front of Liz. He took his finger and tipped her chin up to look him straight in the eyes. "Maybe I don't, Liz. But if I don't fight for you, I know what I'll be giving up. And I'm not willing to do that. Not again. Whatever this is, the reason you're running from me, we can handle it. Me and you. We can overcome it, I promise."  
  
Liz choked out a sob as her eyes frantically searched Max's face. Max had made promises to her before, heartfelt and filled with love. And he'd never broken even one of them. But this time, she knew it was one he'd never be able to keep.  
  
"It's not possible, Max, it's just not," Liz cried through her tears.  
  
"Tell my why?"  
  
"Don't you see? It's because of you and me, Max. Four years ago, I had a visitor from the future. It was Tess. A future version of her that had traveled back in time to ask me to help her save the world. She knew the future. In the timeline she lived in, we never broke up. Our marriage lasted and [i]we[/i] were happy. But because of that, because you didn't follow your destiny, everyone suffered. Everyone."  
  
Max shook his head, wiped the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs. "How is that possible, Liz?"  
  
"It's in the Destiny Book. A prophecy, that only a child of your blood can fulfill. A prophecy that can save the world. In [i]her[/i] timeline, we never had kids. And the destined child was never conceived. All because we never had kids."  
  
Max smiled and settled more comfortably on to the floor, easing between Liz's legs to look up at her tear streaked face and swollen eyes. "Well then, we'll just have to try harder this time around, won't we?"  
  
Liz felt her heart shatter yet again at the thought of Max wanting to have a baby with her. It had been his dream for as long as she could remember. It had been her dream. It had been [i]their[/i] dream and he still didn't know it wasn't possible. "We [I]can't[/I] Max. It's my fault. I'm the one who kept that baby from being born. I can't conceive, Max. I'll never be able to have your child, or any children. Ever. I'm the reason the world ended."  
  
And with that, Liz melted into Max's arms, falling to the floor with him, her body convulsing with heavy, anguished sobs. That was the real thing she'd never been able to admit. It was [i]her[/i] fault that everyone she'd loved had died in the other timeline. And it was [i]her[/i] fault that she and Max would never be happy. All because her body wasn't capable of conceiving a child. The child that was written of in Max's destiny.  
  
She allowed herself to enjoy the feeling of his arms wrapped his arms around her, allowed him to comfort her, rocking her back and forth, running his fingers through her long, dark hair. She couldn't resist it any longer. She [I]needed[/I] this, if only to give herself the strength to try once more.  
  
Liz threw her arms around Max's shoulders, grabbing the thick fabric of his shirt in her fists, bunching it up between her fingers, causing it to go taut around his back. She buried her face in the crook of his neck, and sobbed against the warm skin of his throat, barely registering the fact that her tears were soaking the collar of his shirt.  
  
As Liz's sobs quieted down, she let go, let her arms rest across his back, her palms out spread, wanting to touch as much of him as possible. She closed her eyes, breathing in the unique scent that was only Max. She all but cried out in joy, remembering the intimate way her body fit to his, like they had been meant to hold each other close. She rubbed her forehead across his chin, reminiscing about the way it felt to feel the slight tickle of the stubble on his jaw. Her body was alive, relishing in the fact that once more, Max held her tightly in the warmth of his strong arms. She was memorizing everything about him all over again, knowing this fleeting moment of pure bliss couldn't last.  
  
"Liz?" Max said softly after Liz's sobbed had completely subsided.  
  
Liz closed her eyes, taking one more deep breath, inhaling as much of him as she could. She lifted her head, and brought her wide eyes into contact with his. She watched, her heartbeat accelerating more, if possible, as Max's eyes frantically searched her face. She felt his breathing against her chest, as his heart beat doubled in time with hers. When he raised a hand and wiped a loose strand of hair off of her temple, he trailed his finger downward, and cupped her cheek in his palm. Without thinking, Liz closed her eyes, and leaned into his touch, wanting to burn the feel of it into her mind. But the minute she did, she knew it was a mistake.  
  
She felt Max shift his body slightly, and before she opened her eyes, her senses went into overload as she felt his mouth on her own. Groaning at the contact, Liz moved her lips against his, feeling his grip tighten around her waist.  
  
"I love you, Liz. I've always loved you, and I always will," he said against her lips.  
  
"I love you, Max, always," she whispered.  
  
Liz's eyes flew open as she felt Max go rigid against her. She saw his eyes open wide, staring straight back at her. She'd said it without thinking. She'd had no intention of voicing her feelings for Max out loud, having done enough already with her actions because of Pam. But with Max's mouth on hers, and her senses going haywire, it had come naturally. And now Max had all the proof he needed to use against her. Straight from the horse's mouth.  
  
Liz jumped up, wrenching herself from Max's grasp. She saw his startled look, and knew that she had to go, before she lost every bit of resolve she had, and gave into everything her heart and soul were telling her to do. She was at the exit to the cell before she turned around briefly to catch the shocked look on Max's face.  
  
"I'm sorry, I can't do this." she said, tears streaming down her face. "I won't let them die because of me. I won't!"  
  
And with one last longing glance, Liz Evans left her husband sitting in the floor staring after her.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Tess' heart dropped to the floor as she watched Max run after Liz. This had gone on too long. Someone had to do something. If she knew Liz Parker at all, she knew that her stay in Roswell was going to come to an end - and soon.  
  
Things were spiraling out of control. Liz had broken her engagement to Sean, but clearly, still had every intention of leaving town again. Without Max. And Max, well, he had just gone straight off the deep end. He was making hasty decisions in his desperation and had become someone she wasn't sure she knew anymore.  
  
Earlier in the day, she herself had tried the only thing she could think of. She'd gone to the Pod Chamber, and had read the Destiny book again, cover to cover. Nothing there. Nothing that jumped out at her. No hidden words providing any clues, no misunderstood sentences offering any answers.  
  
But somehow, Tess couldn't shake the fact that everything hinged on that book. Something inside of her was telling her to read it again. She tried to [I]listen[/I] to each word, rather than read, tried to figure out any double meanings, any hidden agendas. She [I]knew[/I] the answer was right in front of her face. She just couldn't find it.  
  
"What's happening?" Tess muttered to herself. "Things have gotten so out of control."  
  
"They're crazy," Isabel said, shrugging her shoulders, although Tess hadn't really been addressing her. "Both of them. I don't know who to blame more. Liz for ever leaving or Max for ever falling in love with her in the first place."  
  
Tess took a deep breath, listened to Isabel talk her feelings out. This was her fault. It wasn't fair that she let Isabel, or Michael, or anyone else blame Liz any longer. It was Tess Harding who had visited Liz four years ago and all but pushed her out of town. It was Tess Harding that had told Liz something that had made her leave. And as badly as she wanted to deny it, she knew that it hadn't all been true. Things just didn't click. Nothing made sense, except for the fact that the pieces of the puzzle didn't fit. And deep down, she knew it was her fault.  
  
"Don't blame either one of them," Tess pleaded quietly.  
  
Isabel scoffed at her, then turned and plopped back down into the booth they'd been in when Liz and Sean had arrived. "Then who should I blame?"  
  
"How about the person at fault?" Tess asked hesitantly.  
  
"You aren't making any sense, Tess." Isabel was glancing at her watch. "I thought Michael was meeting us here," she said, glancing towards the door.  
  
Tess looked at Isabel, the gears in her mind slowly starting to turn. She couldn't ask Max for help. He was part of the problem, after all. Maybe, just maybe, Isabel was the answer. Tess had read the book over and over again. But Isabel and Michael had only seen it once and it had been before even [I]she[/I] knew how to read it. She'd long ago translated it into English, had changed the words on the pages so that they could all decipher it. But maybe she was missing something. [I]Maybe[/I] there weresome hidden words or double meanings.  
  
Maybe she was looking at it through biased eyes, having already heard what it said from her future self without ever having actually read it. Trying a fresh set of eyes couldn't hurt. Isabel and Michael could help her. They [I]ould[/I] help her. They [I]had[/I] to help her. But she knew that they'd only help if they knew the truth. If they knew about her future self, and what she had done, was going to do.Whatever! Tess almost screeched in her frustration.  
  
She was going to have to tell them the truth about why Liz left town, and what Future Tess had told her. About the future, about their destiny, and about the prophecy.  
  
Taking a deep breath, Tess closed her eyes, conjuring up an image of Kyle in mind. Drawing strength from his lazy smile, and his echoed "I love you" in her ear, she moved suddenly towards Isabel before she changed her mind. Isabel jumped slightly. "Isabel," Tess said softly, "What I'm about to say might not make any sense at all. But I need you to trust me, and I need your help. I'll explain everything."  
  
"Ooookkaaay," Isabel said slowly, giving Tess an odd look. "Are you okay? Are you in trouble? You aren't pregnant, but it's something else, isn't it?" Isabel's eyes widened in horror as she leaned across the table, close enough to Tess to voice her thoughts without anyone else overhearing. "Are you having an affair!?" Isabel whispered incredulously.  
  
Tess shrank back, opening her mouth wide in horrified shock. "Isabel, how could you ask that?"  
  
Isabel shook her head, confusion evident across her furrowed brow. "Tess, you're worrying me. Something's wrong, I know it. Tell me, please," she pleaded with her friend.  
  
Tess turned around as she heard the front door open. Michael walked in and stopped briefly to look around. He nodded in their direction as he spotted them in the back of the restaurant.  
  
"Just come on," Tess said, grabbing her purse, reaching across the table to pull Isabel along with her. "We're leaving. I'll answer all your questions on the way."  
  
"Hey, where's the fire?" Michael demanded as Tess grabbed his arm with her free hand and ushered him out the door along with Isabel.  
  
"You guys have to know the truth," Tess said stepping up to her car and putting the key in the door. "About Liz, and Max, and about why she left. We have to go the pod chamber."  
  
"You know?" Isabel asked loudly.  
  
"I know everything," Tess said. "And now you need to know too."  
  
"Wait a minute," Michael said crossing his arms over his chest. "You mean to tell me this whole time, you've known why Liz left, why we all went through what we did, and you never said a word? Tess! We trusted you!"  
  
"Michael."  
  
"Tell me why we should go anywhere with you?" Michael asked defiantly, his temper and broody nature quickly bringing itself to the surface.  
  
Tess turned and looked at Michael and Isabel, pleading with them. "Liz is innocent, Michael, and Max too," she added, casting a glance in Isabel's direction. "I think we can fix this. Nothing here has been the same since Liz left. I know you don't trust her, but I [I]know[/I] you still trust me. I need your help. Our future depends on it."  
  
And somehow, Tess knew it did. Max and Liz belonged together. No matter how hard they tried, or what obstacles had been thrown their way, their feelings never changed. They still loved each other, and that had to count for something. It just had to.  
  
"Fine," Isabel sighed, walking around and opening the passenger side door. "But I swear, Tess. You better tell us everything. And I do mean [I]everything[/I]."  
  
Tess took a deep breath, waited for Michael to follow suit and get in the back seat, then she sat inside and turned the key in the ignition.  
  
"So," she said, shaking her head and rolling her eyes to herself. She was really going to have to find a better operning line. She pulled the car into the street before continuing. "What do [I]you[/I] know about time travel?"  
  
- - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Twenty minutes later, Tess brought her car to a stop beside the rock formation that she'd come to know so well.  
  
Michael and Isabel had been eerily quiet while she gave her side of the story, only asking minimal questions. She'd told them everything, and their persistent silence was causing her to doubt she'd done the right thing.  
  
"Guys?" Tess asked, turning in her seat to face Isabel, sneaking a quick look at Michael in the back seat.  
  
Tess was surprised when Isabel turned towards her, eyes filled with tears, her face contorted in a mixture of emotions.  
  
"She left to save us?" Isabel's voice was shaky with emotion. "She left because she knew that we would die, and the only way to stop it was to give Max up?"  
  
Tess nodded slightly, realization dawning on her. Isabel believed her. After she'd told them the truth, niether Michael or Isabel had voiced any opposition to her story. They believed her. Just as Kyle had. Because they [I]did[/I] love her.  
  
As she watched the emotions play across Isabel's face, she realized something else. That despite everything, Isabel still loved Liz too. There was hope after all.  
  
"Liz knew that Max would never agree to letting her go. She also knew that if she didn't leave, that Max's child would never be born. We [I]need[/I] that child, Isabel. And Liz believed that only another hybrid could produce that baby."  
  
"Are you telling me that you and Maxwell have to have a baby?" Michael asked, piping in from the back seat.  
  
Tess shook her head. "That's where it all gets fuzzy. According to the future me, our enemies should be here by now. We should already be experienced soldiers. That's what happened at this time in [I]her[/I] timeline, because there was no baby. But nothing that she said would happen has. She lied. I don't know why, or about what just yet. But I have to find out. Something doesn't make sense."  
  
Tess took another deep breath, turned back to Isabel. "I don't belong with Max. I never have. My place is with Kyle. [I]Liz[/I] belongs with Max. He's always known it, and deep down, I think we have too. Everything she told me was based on this prophecy, and her only source of information was the Destiny Book. Something about this prophecy is funny," she said. "We have to read the destiny book and find out what before Max and Liz hit the point of no return. Neither one of them deserve that."  
  
"I hated her," Isabel said suddenly, a lone tear slipping down her cheek. "When Liz left, I couldn't stand her. The thoughts I had about her. Everytime I saw Max, and how much he was hurting, I just wanted to track Liz down. And Tess, if I had, I would have killed her. I know I would have. And all because she'd left to protect us. I'm a terrible person!" Isabel brought her hands to her face and cried softly.  
  
Tess watched with a heavy heart as Isabel accepted the truth. All this time, she'd been hurt. She'd taken out her hurt and anger by turning against Liz. But now, she was realizing that she'd had no right to hate her sister in law at all.  
  
"Hey," Michael said. "We all thought things I'm sure we didn't mean. But we know the truth now, Iz," he said, leaning into the front seat, and taking Isabel's hand from her face. "Liz is part of us. Part of our [I]family.[/I] She always has been. And she's Max's world. We love them both. Now is our chance to redeem ourselves. So let's go help Tess," he said with determination. "We trust her and she needs us. Liz and Max need us. Heck, even the whole world needs us. We're gonna be superheroes!"  
  
Isabel smiled at Michael's attempt to lighten her mood.  
  
Tess smiled too, in spite of herself. She'd done the unthinkable. She'd turned big, bad, Michael Guerin into a big softie, eager to forgive his best friend's wife and to help fix the wrongs they'd all done in the past.  
  
"So, are you guys in?" she asked, looking back and forth between the two.  
  
Michael nodded, then turned to Isabel, waving his hand over her face. Her tears had been wiped away, including make-up smudges. Tess almost giggled. Isabel would never change, even in a crisis. "So, you game?"  
  
Isabel nodded firmly, grabbing Tess's hand. "Let's go get that book," she said.  
  
Tess flew across the seat, hugging Isabel tightly, and released her only to lean back to pull Michael close so she could kiss him on the cheek. "I knew I could count on you two."  
  
Tess got out of the car. Michael and Isabel followed her up the side of the cliff to the entrance to the pod chamber. She waved her hand over the hiding place, placed her hand on the silver handprint, and led the way inside.  
  
Just inside the door, Isabel stopped and stooped at the sleeping bag Tess had noticed earlier.  
  
"This is Max's," she said. "When was he here?"  
  
So that's who had been here, Tess reflected. It made sense now, knowing what he'd been through. She'd found the Destiny Book next to the bag and knew that's why he'd come. She could picture him lying in the small room, the book in his hands, searching it from cover to cover for the answers to his questions. But also, just as she had, she could also see him leaving, feeling lost and defeated after coming up empty handed. She wondered if he'd left the sleeping bag there with the intentions of coming back to try again.  
  
"He's been reading the book," Tess said quietly. "He came here for the same reason we did. He got flashes from Liz last night. He knows all about Future Tess from me too. He's trying to figure it out."  
  
"He's hurting so much," Isabel said softly, sitting down and leaning back against the soft blue bag.  
  
"Well then," Michael said, sitting down beside her and picking up the book. "We'll just have to help him with that, won't we?" Isabel smiled, reached over to hold the part of the book closest to her, and made herself comfortable. Both she and Michael bent their heads over it, matching frowns on concentration on their faces. Tess wondered briefly if Michael had [I]ever[/I] looked at a book so intently in his life.  
  
Tess was still amazed with the ease at which Isabel and Michael had forgiven Liz. She'd been prepared for a long, lengthy battle of wits with Roswell's resdent ice queen and her brooding, rebellious almost-brother. She'd even gone above and beyond at the Crashdown, ushering them out quickly and not answering questions until they were on their way, having been afraid she'd lose her nerve. But once she started explaining what was going on, she'd been surprised at the ease with which they'd believed her. They'd only asked a few simple questions and neither one of them had voiced any hostile feelings towards Liz.  
  
In fact, they'd been more than surprised at the fact that Tess had forgiven her, and was readily trying to find a way to help her get back together with Max. Isabel had asked Tess what had made [I]her[/I] change [I]her[/I] mind. Tess hadn't had to think of the answer. It was simple, really, and she told them she didn't know why they couldn't see it. It was because Max loved Liz. For reasons that only he knew, he still trusted her, and didn't blame her for leaving him behind.  
  
And Tess trusted Max. That was enough reason for her.  
  
In the end, after they'd arrived at the pod chamber, Isabel's remorseful guilt and Michael's comforting words had given her the reason for their hasty approval of a girl they'd both despised just hours earlier. They loved her too. They'd loved her just as Max had, but in a different way. [I]She[/I] was [I]their[/I] family too. If there had been no Liz Parker for Max, there never would have been a Maria Deluca for Michael or an Alex Whitman for Isabel. It was because of this love, because of all that she'd given them, that they'd felt so betrayed and hurt when she'd left. But, in a most fascinating turn of events, it was also this fundamental love that pushed them to find a way to help bring her back.  
  
Tess opened her purse and took out a stick of gum, popping it into her mouth. Looking around, she took a seat against the opposite wall, and waited for her friends to finish reading.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - -  
  
"This is hopeless!" Michael exclaimed an hour later. He threw the book completely into Isabel's lap and jumped up, running his hands through his hair. "We've read this thing through over and over and nothing! Why can't we find anything?"  
  
Michael started pacing back and forth, in between Tess and Isabel, still muttering to himself and clearly upset.  
  
"Michael, calm down," Tess urged, standing up to face him.  
  
"But you said, Tess! You said we'd find an answer!"  
  
Tess shook her head. Maybe this was a bad idea. She'd brought them here, and convinced them that they could find an answer. But so far, all they had done was almost memorize the Destiny Book, having read it through, cover to cover, at least three times. Maybe she was wrong. Maybe she'd just given them false hope.  
  
"Michael, I didn't say for sure. I hoped that we'd-"  
  
"Tess, Michael, come here for a minute," Isabel interrupted abruptly.  
  
Tess turned around to see Isabel looking hard at the page in front of her, her brow furrowed in concentration. She walked over and knelt next to her, Michael right behind her.  
  
"What?" Tess demanded, trying not to get excited. Her heart was thundering anyway. "Did you find something?"  
  
"I'm not sure," Isabel replied. She handed the book to Tess, and turned it so that she could read it. "Look at this."  
  
Tess followed Isabel's finger, and read the lines she'd indicated.  
  
[I]The fate of the world rests in the hands of a child of a bonded love.  
  
The hybrid king and hybrid queen, no others, must mate.  
  
Blood of another will strengthen the line,  
  
But only from one chosen by fate.  
  
The child of this union will save the King and, thus, the world.  
  
[/I]  
  
"It's the prophecy," Tess said. "That's the prophecy that my child with Max is supposed to fulfill. "  
  
"We already know about that, Isabel," Michael said, sounding impatient and not a little mad. Tess could see that Isabel's exclamation had excited him too and now he was annoyed that he was disappointed.  
  
"Right. So now, read this." Isabel shifted slightly, and pointed at a passage a little further down on the page.  
  
[I]This has been, and only by destiny will it be once more.  
  
The King's child will be born,  
  
Only by she who is made compatible to carry the life in her own.[/I]  
  
"What, Isabel?" Tess asked. "I don't see anything. [I]I'm[/I] the one who was made compatible. Engineered? Reborn to be with Max?"  
  
"Tess, what if this doesn't really mean what we think it means? What if you were just reading it wrong? Interpreting it's meaning differently than it was meant to be interpreted?"  
  
"How do you think it was meant to be interpreted?" Tess asked wearily. This is what she'd hoped for - that Isabel or Michael could pull out something she'd missed. But she didn't want to get excited over nothing.  
  
"We've just assumed that the queen is you, right?" Isabel asked, her excitement evident in her agitated movements and fast talking.  
  
Tess shook her head. "The queen [I]was[/I] me," Tess said, trying to remain patient.  
  
Isabel waved her hands and shook her head. "That's not what I meant. We know you're the queen. What I meant was, that we've all just assumed that the 'she' that's talked about in this prophecy is you, right? What if we're wrong?"  
  
"Wrong, how?" Michael asked, his confused expression mirroring Tess's equally perplexed one.  
  
"It says that this child has to be chosen by fate, that it's destined to be. That only one [I]made[/I] compatible can carry Max's baby. What if Max [I]made[/I] Liz compatible?" Isabel demanded.  
  
"What would he have to do to do that?" Michael asked.  
  
"He already has," Tess said, felt her eyes widening. How could she have been so stupid? Of course. It was perfectly obvious!  
  
Michael was still staring at Tess questioningly, but Isabel had turned to her with hopeful eyes. "That day at the Crashdown." Tess continued, could hear her mounting excitement in her voice. "He changed her. Kyle's got powers - we've seen him use them guys, although he tries not too - so I'll bet you anything Liz has them too. Max has always said that that day was the day he wrote his own destiny. I can't believe it. He's been right all along."  
  
Tess picked up the book, and looked at it, marveling at the fact that she'd never seen it before. The hidden meaning. The underlying words that she had never picked out.  
  
"Max and I were destined to be together. But neither one of us feels it. He's [I]never[/I] felt it. What if healing her that day wasn't the only thing he did. What if he [I]made[/I] her his destiny? Like - by taking that huge risk - what if he changed her so that she was capable of carrying his child?" Tess asked.  
  
"But I don't understand," Michael said. "Max and Liz were married before she left. They lived together before. How come she can't get pregnant?"  
  
Isabel took the book back from Tess. "I think it has something to do with the missing page."  
  
"What missing page?" Tess asked, blinking.  
  
Isabel held the book up. "Look at the last two pages. They don't go together. Don't make sense. It goes right from talking about the baby in the prophecy to talking about a marriage. The first line on the next page starts with 'and this marriage will be legal and binding' I think we're missing a page."  
  
"Well that's not going to help. We don't know where the page is!" Michael exclaimed in frustration.  
  
"I know," Tess said standing up, her mind racing with questions that could only be answered by one person. "I know where it is. And I can get it back." 


	18. Chapter 18

[u]Part 18[/u]  
  
"Liz, this is a mistake."  
  
Liz ignored Serena as she hurried around the motel room, throwing her various pieces of clothing scattered around onto the bed so at to make it easier to pack. She had no idea how she had managed to make such a mess in such a short amount of time. The disarray in the room more than matched her emotional turmoil though. Her entire life was presently a disaster. The messy motel room was just the physical embodiment of it.  
  
"Staying here this long was the mistake Serena," Liz retorted. "I should have left town as soon as Max signed those papers. I've only hurt him more by trying to fix things between us. We [I]can't[/I] be friends. That's more than obvious now. Which also means that I can't be friends with anyone else in Roswell. The least I can do is leave him them."  
  
Her heart ached at the thought of shutting Alex and Maria out of her life again, but she had no choice. Maintaining any sort of contact with Max - even the mostly antagonistic relationship they had developped over the past few days - was impossible. She was on the verge of completely giving in. She could not see him again. Her willpower would not stand having to walk out on him even once more. It was an impossibility.  
  
"I just don't understand why you're being so stubborn about this," Serena complained. "Maria's told me all about you two and from what I've seen.Liz, you still love him, he obviously wants you. What is the problem here?"  
  
"You wouldn't understand," Liz sighed. "It's too long a story. I can't get into it now." And she couldn't. She couldn't even think about it anymore. She just had to leave. Now. There was a plane departing the small Roswell airstrip for Albuquerque in two hours and she fully intended to be on it.  
  
"I wouldn't understand?" Serena demanded. "Liz, I understood when you told me your ex-husband was an alien. What makes you think I wouldn't understand this time?"  
  
"You just wouldn't. No one can really understand Serena. I'm the only one who [I]really[/I] gets it because I'm the only one who saw what's going to happen if Max and I stay together. And I won't be responsible for it! I won't allow how much I love him to destroy the world. I just [I]won't![/I]" Liz screamed this last bit, practically throwing the clothes in her arms at her best friend. She saw Serena's eyes widen with fear. It was only then that Liz realized that her fingertips were crackling with green electricity again.  
  
Damn. She was losing her mind. There was now no question.  
  
Liz collapsed on the bed, closed her eyes. She took deep breaths, trying to bring her emotions back under control. "I'm sorry," she finally ground out. "I just need to be alone for a while 'Rena. Come back in half an hour and we'll leave for the airport."  
  
"Fine," Serena snapped, straightening her spine and striding to the door, trying to mask how much Liz had frightened her. Before she stormed out though, she turned back and continued, "If you are so determined to be miserable, there's nothing I can do to stop you. You know what Liz? As much as I was prepared to hate this Max of yours, because I love [I]you[/I], I don't hate him. And I'll tell you why. He's willing to face anything to be with you. You're not being fair to him and I'm beginning to realize that you probably don't deserve him. Why you can't see that two people are stronger standing together than one, I don't know. But I'm tired of trying to understand. I have never seen anyone throw happiness away with such sheer stupidity."  
  
Liz simply turned her head away, lifting her chin stubbornly. Shutting Serena out was easy. The fact that she had managed to do it to Max [I]again[/I], even after all he had said to her at the old sheriff's station, anything else seemed like a piece of cake. She heard Serena huff in irritation, pull open the door and then exclaim, "What the hell are [I]you[/I] doing here?"  
  
Liz whipped around and blinked at the sight of Tess standing in the doorway. The small blonde was staring at Serena in surprise, then looked past her at Liz. "Am I interrupting something?"  
  
"I was just leaving," Serena told her. "And you know what? I really don't care why you're here after all. It's probably to help her wallow in her own misery, so go to it. I won't stand in the way." With that she disappeared out the door, slamming it behind her.  
  
Liz sighed, shaking her head. She was pretty sure that after she went back to New York, she and Serena would no longer be friends. She regretted it, but there wasn't much she could do about it now. She just couldn't think about anything but getting away from Roswell. If Serena didn't trust her enough to think she had a valid reason, then she didn't want to have to explain it to her. She was tired of having to justify herself. She was trying to save the stupid world for Pete's sake. And, yet, it had somehow all become about poor Max and how he was hurting.  
  
Screw that.  
  
It was also probably why Tess was here, to try and convince her to change her mind.  
  
Double screw that.  
  
Liz glared at the woman who had been responsible for all her problems, whether in this form or in some future version. She didn't hate her, but she certainly didn't think that they could be friends any longer. Not after that last scene in the sheriff's station with Max. It was all just too hard. It was easier to just shut them [I]all[/I] out. "What are you doing here Tess?" She demanded, refusing to beat around the bush any longer. "I'm getting ready to leave."  
  
"I know," Tess replied, moving forward. "I'm sorry about it."  
  
Liz narrowed her eyes. "You better not be here to try and convince me to give Max another chance."  
  
"Do you want me to be?" Tess inquired gently, sitting down on the bed beside her.  
  
"What do you think?" Liz shot back, although she could already tell that being a bitch was not going to drive Tess away.  
  
"I haven't even talked to Max since the Crashdown," Tess told her firmly. "What he did to you there was rotten. Especially because he has a pretty good idea why you're doing all of this now."  
  
"Right. So why don't you two just get busy and get it over with?" Liz snapped.  
  
Tess just stared at her. "I'm with Kyle Liz."  
  
"I know that Tess. But it seems to me that the end of the world might be a little more pressing than love. I've made some sacrifices. The least you and Max could do is fulfill that damn prophecy. It doesn't mean you have to be together forever."  
  
"If that's the case," Tess retorted, "Then why can't you stay? Max and I will have the baby and then we can all raise it together!"  
  
Liz just stared at her in horror. "You [I]must[/I] be joking!" She practically screeched.  
  
Tess glared at her. "Well of course I am. You know you wouldn't be able to handle it! What makes you think that I would expect Kyle to? I would [I]never[/I] do that to him!"  
  
"Typical," Liz muttered. "I'm the only one who has to make any sacrifices it seems. Why are you all so stubborn?"  
  
There was a long silence until Tess finally said quietly, "Max and I don't love each other Liz. We just [I]don't[/I]. It's never going to happen."  
  
"Then the world is going to end," Liz replied. "We both know it is. But I won't stay here and watch you all skip joyfully and knowingly in that direction. I won't Tess. This isn't going to make me go back to him. We both saw what happened when there was no baby of Max's blood. Complete and utter destruction."  
  
"There might still be a way," Tess said carefully. "I've been doing some investigating."  
  
Liz looked at her sharply. "What do you mean?" Her eyes widened in horror as something dawned on her. "Oh my God. Max doesn't [I]really[/I] like Pam Troy, does he?" The thought was enough to make her literally ill. If Max had to be with anyone other than Tess, she just did not want to know about it. The least they could all do was wait until she had left town again.  
  
Tess grimaced. "Are you crazy? Of course he doesn't! I'm talking about for you and Max Liz. There might still be a way."  
  
Liz felt her heart drop. "Tess, it's impossible. After she - you - came to see me, don't you think the first thing I did was go to a doctor and get myself checked out?" She heard her voice catch slightly, hoped Tess didn't recognize the lie. "I went to several in fact. I even went as far as Santa Fe and they all told me the same thing. My womb will not carry a baby to term. It's impossible. It just [I]won't[/I]."  
  
She could barely see straight, her eyes blurry with tears. It wasn't true. None of it was true. It wasn't [I]she[/I] who had gone to all those doctors. It was another Liz, one Future Tess had told her all about, one who had suffered for years trying to conceive a child. She hadn't told Max any of this when she had informed him that she knew she couldn't bear his children. She had told him that it was because she somehow knew they were incompatible, but it had been a lie. She couldn't tell him the truth - the truth that Future Tess had made only too real. He wouldn't have believed her after all.  
  
At least not then. Now he might believe Tess - any Tess. They were friends. At least her plan had succeeded that far.  
  
But Liz [I]had[/I] to believe Future Tess. After all, she had seen it. She knew the arguments Max would have given her if she had told him: [I]Liz, Tess is a mindwarper. You can't believe anything she says.[/I]  
  
She wouldn't have either. If it had just been about Tess. It hadn't been though. It had been about so much more.  
  
"Liz, you have to listen to me," Tess was saying now, her words echoing that future version's eerily.  
  
[I]You have to do this Liz. The fate of the world depends on you.[/I]  
  
"I can't Tess! I just can't anymore. I need to leave," Liz told her firmly, standing up and moving away. "Please just go. Help Max. He's going to need you. But you also need to convince him, somehow. I don't care if it is Pam Troy. I'd prefer you, but if it can't be, find someone. Make him do it so that all of this pain won't be for no reason."  
  
"Liz, [I]listen[/I] to me," Tess insisted, having stood up as well. Liz blinked when the blonde grabbed her by the arm and shook her. "Can you please stop being selfish for one minute and listen?"  
  
Liz stared at her. "Did you just call me selfish?" She asked, not even angry, simply amazed. She just couldn't believe it. It was incomprehensible to her that Tess of all people would call [I]her[/I] selfish. Tess was the one who was encouraging Max in his rebellion against destiny after all. It was Tess's relationship with Kyle that was making this even harder.  
  
"You [I]are[/I] being selfish," Tess told her. "You are so wrapped up in your own pain and your feeling of purity about giving everything up, you're not thinking straight anymore. I need you to listen to me."  
  
Liz could not even frame a reply. She just continued to gape at Tess. The other woman seemed to take this as a sign that she was ready to listen, said in a rush. "Okay, you've got powers, right?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Do you or do you not have powers?" Tess repeated, frustrated. "Kyle does. I'm assuming you do too. I'm also assuming that yours are the same, being as you were both healed by Max. He can get flashes from people sometimes when he touches them - like what's going to happen in the future. It's why he's such a good deputy." Liz could hear the pride in Tess's voice as she explained. "He really just knows what some people are going to do before they do it."  
  
"I do," Liz admitted, shaking her head. "Wait a minute. If Kyle has powers, why was Maria surprised that I do too? Max seemed a little shocked too."  
  
"Kyle has barely told anyone. It creeps him out a bit," Tess replied, sighing. "Max shouldn't have been surprised. All the aliens know. We had to try and figure out what it meant."  
  
Liz frowned, reflected back on when Max had confronted her about her powers at the UFO Museum the night before. He hadn't seemed that surprised actually. "What does it mean?" Liz asked now.  
  
"We don't think it means much. It's something that you both would have been born with in a few generations anyway." Tess shrugged. "We figure that connecting so intimately with one of us results in the activation of the genes all humans possess. Our gifts are part of our human make-up Liz. Nasedo told us that once. You and Kyle, because Max interfered in the natural order of your life.He changed you sooner then was evolutionally possible." She paused, narrowed her eyes. "And that's where my theory comes in."  
  
"What theory?"  
  
"I took Isabel and Michael to the pod chamber today," Tess replied. "I made them sit down and try and read the Destiny Book, to find anything I was missing."  
  
Liz rolled her eyes. "You can't tell me anything about that book I don't know Tess," she snapped. "It's that book that ruined my life."  
  
Liz realized that Tess's eyes had lit up at this comment. "So you [I]do[/I] have it!" She crowed. "I knew it!"  
  
"Have what?" Liz asked carefully, although she knew exactly what Tess was getting at.  
  
"Don't lie to me Parker. I know you have it. [I]She[/I] gave it to you, didn't she?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"LIZ! Do you or do you not have the missing page?"  
  
"Fine," Liz finally muttered, realizing there was no point in hiding it any longer. "I have it. What does it matter though? The only reason she gave it to me was so that I would believe her, so that I wouldn't think she was mindwarping me with those flashes."  
  
"She gave you flashes?" Tess asked, sounding pensive. "Of what was going to happen?"  
  
"Not just her," Liz replied. "The book did too." She paused, then whispered. "And Max.I got them from Max too."  
  
Tess seemed perplexed for a moment. "We have to be right," she murmured. "We just have to be. But if [I]Max[/I] gave you flashes."  
  
"Tess? What the hell are you talking about?" Liz demanded, beginning to get impatient. She glanced at her watch. She really needed to get going if she was going to make the plane. She could not stay in Roswell a day longer. It was impossible.  
  
"Liz, I need to see that page. Where is it?" Tess asked. "Is it in New York?"  
  
Liz pressed her lips together. "Why? What can that page possibly tell you that I haven't already? I saw the future Tess. The page only confirms it. It's a full recounting of what will happen to this planet if Max's child isn't born."  
  
Tess sighed. "Liz, can you [I]read[/I] the page?" She asked, sounding long- suffering and annoying Liz even more.  
  
"Of course not," Liz retorted. "I'm not an alien."  
  
"So it was only the flashes it gave you that made you think you knew what it said."  
  
"Yes," Liz admitted reluctantly. "I still don't see that it matters though. We're all in agreement that Max needs to have a kid. You've read the rest of that book too Tess. And you [I]can[/I] understand it, can't you?"  
  
"I can," Tess agreed. "But that missing page.Liz, I don't think it says what she told you it said. I need to see it. Where is it?"  
  
Liz didn't reply for a long moment. She didn't know if she wanted Tess to see it. Because she realized that she was beginning to feel a small amount of hope and she could not afford that. Tess was only making this harder. She [I]knew[/I] what that page said. She [I]knew[/I]. She had seen it.  
  
Tess seemed to understand Liz's turmoil. "Liz, how can you be so sure that what that future me showed you wasn't a mindwarp?" She asked gently. "I knew her too. She was a liar. The fact that I came back here and Max wanted nothing to do with me.She knew nothing. She was a bitter and twisted version of who I am. I'm ashamed to admit it, but if I'd never come back her, it's extremely likely she's exactly who I would have ended up. And I did in that lifetime. You cannot believe her. You just [I]can't[/I]."  
  
"But Tess.the Destiny Book.it [I]says[/I] it," Liz argued weakly.  
  
"You didn't answer my question," Tess reminded her. "How did you know it wasn't a mindwarp?"  
  
"It was the first time I ever had flashes like that," Liz explained. "But I started getting them all the time after she left. And I know she was gone Tess. The instant I decided to leave Max, she faded away right in front of me."  
  
Tess raised her eyebrows. "Mindwarp?"  
  
"I really don't think so," Liz replied. "She was [I]gone[/I]. I know she was. Besides, she told both of us that she never went back to Roswell after she left. How could she have known that I was going to develop the power to get flashes of the future? How would she know to use it?"  
  
"It doesn't matter how she knew," Tess said quietly. "She did. And I think she mindwarped you. I know she didn't mindwarp me. I think that some of what she told you did happen, but not how you saw it. I'm convinced."  
  
"We'll never know that for sure Tess," Liz shot back, beginning to get angry again. She could not have these doubts again. She had spent a full year following her flight to New York trying to come up with excuses for why she should return to Max, for how and why Future Tess would and could have lied to her. "I know what I saw and I know that until then I'd never had them before and I've had them since."  
  
"There's only one way to find out," Tess muttered, again to herself.  
  
"Tess, what are you talking about?"  
  
"Liz, I know for a fact that I've never mindwarped you," Tess said. "I have never done that to you, not even when I was trying to get Max way back at the beginning. I only used it on him."  
  
Liz frowned. "I know that Tess."  
  
"So then you really have no idea what it feels like," Tess elaborated. "And you can feel it Liz. Max certainly did way back then. That's why you believed him when he told you that he wasn't cheating on you on purpose. He wasn't. I was making him do it."  
  
"Tess, I don't understand your point in dragging up all this old history," Liz sighed, feeling a stabbing pain at the memory of Max kissing Tess in the rain. It still made her physically ill just thinking about it. How she could have thought that she'd be able to handle the two of them having a baby together.or that Kyle would have been able to handle it. She was clearly insane.  
  
"I'm trying to make a point Liz. You may just not recognize a mindwarp. I can understand why you got confused. Your powers chose a really bad time to start manifesting themselves. Maybe it's why Future Me came back to that point. Maybe she knew it was when you'd start to develop the flashes more concretely. Anyway, it's entirely possible that she came exactly when she did to make you think that the mindwarps were just early flashes of your abilities."  
  
Liz felt her heart skip a beat. "But how can we know that for sure?"  
  
Tess didn't reply, simply looked towards the door. Liz blinked when someone knocked. She looked back at Tess, who seemed just as surprised as she did. "Who the heck can that be?" Liz groaned. "I don't have time for this. I need to be on a plane in an hour."  
  
"I don't know who it is," Tess told her.  
  
Liz stomped to the door, pulled it open and stared at Max, who was standing there glaring in at her. "Good, you're still here."  
  
He marched past her, didn't even seem to see Tess. "I'm not letting you run away from me again Liz. I refuse to allow it. I don't care what arguments you give me. I love you, I will always love you and I'll never be with anyone else."  
  
"Max." Liz looked at Tess uncomfortably. The blonde was just staring at Max, no expression on her face.  
  
Max held his hand up. "Don't even say it," he snapped. "It's not fair that you get to make all the decisions. It's just not."  
  
Liz started when he advanced on her. "I'm going to prove to you once and for all that we belong together."  
  
Liz's eyes widened. She felt a flash of desire run through her veins at the expression in his eyes. "Max, Tess is standing right here!" She exclaimed, trying to twist away from him. He grabbed her firmly by the wrist, tugging until she fell against him. She stopped struggling, her breath coming in short gasps.  
  
Oh God. She was going to give in. She couldn't turn him away [I]again[/I]. She wasn't strong enough! Already she felt her traitourous body straining up so that her lips were mere inches away from his. "Max." She moaned, felt the exact instant when she knew she couldn't fight him anymore.  
  
Her lashes fluttered against her cheeks and she felt the light brush of his mouth against hers. And, then, nothing.  
  
Liz opened her eyes in astonishment. The entire world had shifted briefly on its axis, she shook her head quickly and blinked.  
  
No Max.  
  
The only other person in the room was Tess, who was eyeing her, a slightly smug expression on her face. "Familiar?"  
  
"You bitch," Liz ground out. "How could you do that to me?"  
  
"We have to know for sure," Tess replied, not sounding the least bit guilty. "Have you felt that before?"  
  
"Have I felt [I]what[/I] before," Liz almost yelled. "Completely betrayed and violated?"  
  
Tess shrugged. "Kind of. What I meant was, the little blip at the end, when I shut it off. I saw you shake your head. You felt it, didn't you? Everyone always does. They just have no idea what it is, so they don't really notice." She sighed, obviously seeing that it was taking all of Liz's self-control not to strangle her. "Oh Liz, untwist your panties. I picked the one thing guaranteed to shock you. I needed you totally unaware of what I was doing. I knew that Max was the only one who would distract you sufficiently."  
  
Liz snorted, trying to hide the fact that she was slightly embarrassed that Tess was onto her. Because the truth of the matter was, she had been about to let Max make love to her, everything that had come before be damned, the fact that Tess was in the bloody room with them be damned. And Tess knew it. The bitch.  
  
And it hadn't even really been him. She was a lost cause, obviously.  
  
"I haven't felt it before," Liz finally snapped. "She didn't mindwarp me."  
  
Liz was startled when Tess collapsed abruptly on the bed. "What's wrong?" She felt all her anger fade away at the sight of the tears on Tess's cheeks. "Tess, what is it?"  
  
"She didn't lie," Tess said, sniffling. "She didn't completely lie."  
  
"What?" Liz stared at her in amazement. "What are you talking about?"  
  
"I didn't turn into a completely selfish, psycho bitch!" Tess wailed. "She wasn't just here to drive you away!"  
  
Liz sat down next to her, put her arm around Tess's shoulders. For the first time she understood that a lot of this was just as hard on Tess as it was on Liz. "God. You must have felt terrible Tess." Liz shook her head. "I can't even imagine."  
  
"I did," Tess admitted. "Why else do you think I've avoided dealing with this for so long? When I fell for Kyle and when Max became my friend, I couldn't understand how I had ended up that way.so twisted and bitter. I was still sort of glad she'd come back though - because I'd found my place, a place she'd never had. But when you came back here and I found out for sure that she'd also been to see you.I didn't want to believe it. Because that was [I]evil[/I]. Before she was just selfish, but to haul you into it - to destroy you."  
  
"She wasn't lying," Liz said softly. "I always knew it Tess. I never hated you you know. Her or you. I knew she was telling the truth."  
  
"You've always seen things so clearly Liz," Tess replied. "How could you even see that about [I]me[/I]?"  
  
"I don't know," Liz shrugged. "I guess I just thought that anyone who had to be with Max.who was [I]made[/I] for him.couldn't be all bad, as much as I was jealous. Because he is so good Tess. And so are Michael and Isabel, even if they hate me now. I guess I knew, even if I never admitted it to myself, that you couldn't be all bad. I wouldn't have given Max up to someone I truly thought was evil."  
  
Tess stared at her. "Have you ever even really thought about this before?"  
  
Liz laughed slightly. "Actually, no. I don't understand why I'm suddenly seeing all of this with such clarity, but it doesn't make it any less true."  
  
They sat in companionable silence for a while longer, until Liz finally said, "This doesn't change anything though Tess. It actually makes it worse you know. Because those flashes were real. The end of the world [I]did[/I] happen."  
  
"I know," Tess said. "But I don't agree that it doesn't change things. I still need to see that page Liz."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because while I'm glad to hear I wasn't totally psycho, I do think Future Me lied a little bit about what it says."  
  
"Tess, I got a flash from it."  
  
"Liz, I know," the blonde said patiently. "I believe you. But I think the flash was trying to tell you something different then you think. I think that Future Me did want a crack at Max, if not enough to totally make up the end of the world. I think she was using the end of the world to her advantage."  
  
"Um, what?"  
  
"That version of me never had Kyle. She still wanted Max. She probably still [I]believed[/I] that she was the one made for him," Tess explained, as though it made perfect sense. Liz wondered if she was a big dolt because she had no clue what Tess was talking about. Of course Tess was talking about herself. No one would understand Future Tess better than Present Tess. Liz almost giggled at the sheer lunacy of [I]that[/I] thought.  
  
"And you don't?"  
  
"Nope," Tess grinned at her. "I think Max made [I]you[/I] exactly who he needed you to be. And I think that page says exactly that. That you [I]can[/I] have his baby. That, in fact, you're the only one who can."  
  
Liz froze. "I don't understand," she whispered.  
  
Tess grimaced. "Liz, you know what? While I think I'm right about this - both Michael and Isabel think I'm right too by the way."  
  
Liz wrinkled her nose. The thought of Michael and Isabel was enough to send a shiver down her spine. "I'm sure."  
  
"Liz, they do. Once I explained to them why you really left.They are totally grateful. They want you back with Max just as much as any of us now too."  
  
Liz would believe [I]that[/I] when she saw it. But she didn't argue with Tess again. "Okay."  
  
"Anyway," Tess continued. "I don't want to go into too much detail about what I think that page might say. I need to read it and know for sure first."  
  
Liz frowned. "You don't want to get Max's hopes up?"  
  
"Something like that," Tess replied. "Although he doesn't even know about this."  
  
"Then what?" Liz asked, confused.  
  
Tess reached out, took her hand and squeezed. "Liz, I know how hard all of this has been on you. Maybe I just don't want [I]you[/I] to get your hopes up too high until I know for sure."  
  
"You care about that?" Liz demanded, shocked.  
  
"Liz, of course I do. I'm not a monster you know." Tess sounded hurt.  
  
Liz smiled at her - her first real smile in days. "I know you're not Tess." She was serious again though when she continued, "You know what? I don't think I even want to know what you think you know until you know it for sure anyway." She shook her head, sighing. "If that makes any sense."  
  
"It does," Tess replied, smiling slightly. "So is the page in New York? Please tell me it's not in New York."  
  
"It's not," Liz assured her. "But I won't tell you where it is until you make a deal with me. I trust you Tess. I trust that you'll help me with this."  
  
Tess was now suspicious as she asked, "With what?"  
  
"If that page doesn't say what you think it does." Liz trailed off, then went for broke. "If it doesn't, you need to promise me that you'll make Max embrace his destiny."  
  
"What?" Tess whispered, shocked.  
  
"You know what I'm getting at Tess," Liz said firmly. "You have to promise me. If it doesn't change anything, that page, then you need to promise me that you and Max will have a baby."  
  
"Liz."  
  
"Promise."  
  
Liz could see the internal struggle Tess was undergoing, felt bad about it. She felt particularly bad about Kyle, but she knew that she had to do this. She could no longer fight this battle all by herself. Max needed to have a child. She hoped that Tess was right about whatever she thought was on that page, but if she wasn't, it was time for everyone to sacrifice something of themselves for the good of humankind.  
  
She could no longer do it alone. And she did trust Tess.  
  
Tess swallowed, took a deep breath then said, "I know I'm right about this Liz. And because I know, I'll promise."  
  
Liz stared at her, then nodded. "Okay then. The page is hidden with my journal in the wall behind my old bed at my parent's house."  
  
Their eyes met and held. Liz could see the fear that now existed in Tess's blue-eyed gaze. The blonde's stake in this had just risen to new heights. Her own happiness now depended on what that page said just as much as Liz's did. Liz saw Tess's spine straighten, her respect for the woman who had once been her greatest enemy rising another notch.  
  
"What are we waiting for?" Tess finally asked, standing up. "Let's go face our destiny once and for all." 


	19. Chapter 19

[u]Part 19[/u]  
  
Liz took a deep breath and reached out her hand, placing it against the cool metal of the door knob on the Crashdown's back door. Taking a quick glance around and seeing no one, she closed her eyes and concentrated on the small locking mechanism, letting out a sigh of relief when she heard it click. Looking around once more, Liz opened the door and stepped inside.  
  
She stopped abruptly, as a hand was thrust in her face. She hadn't been expecting anyone to be in here, and had hoped she could make it to the living area upstairs without anyone coming upon her.  
  
Before they'd left the hotel, Tess and Liz had decided exactly what it was they were going to do. They knew that their friends would have a lot of questions if they both came waltzing through the door together. With all that was on their plates, neither girl wanted to sit through a question and answer session, even if it was for the benefit of well meaning friends. There was too much at stake to waste precious time in their search for answers. Both women wanted to get things done quickly, their futures hinging on the next few hours of their lives. So they'd decided that Liz would go inside and walk through, letting Tess in through the balcony window, figuring there was less chance of Liz being cornered in her parents' own restaurant.  
  
"Liz! What do you think you're doing? I could have blasted you to Kingdom come for sneaking in like that!" Michael said as he lowered his hand and stepped around Liz to shut the door and click the lock back into place.  
  
"I'm sorry Michael. I don't have a key to this door anymore. I needed to get in," Liz said.  
  
"Why didn't you just use the front door?" Michael asked. "It's open, you know."  
  
"I didn't want to see anyone, OK," Liz replied shortly.  
  
"Oookaaaaaay," Michael said, drawing his word out, and giving Liz a weird look.  
  
"Listen, Michael, I didn't mean to snap. I just, I have a lot on my mind, and there are some things I need to do, okay?" Liz said.  
  
"I know," Michael said quietly. "So, you've talked to Tess?"  
  
Liz nodded, and shifted nervously from foot to foot. "She's waiting for me to let her in the balcony window."  
  
Liz watched as Michael's eyes widen. Realization passed over his face, and a moment later, his expression softened. He reached out to touch Liz's arm. "Liz, look, I just want to say-"  
  
"Michael," Liz interrupted, grabbing his hand. "You and I have a lot to talk about. I have a lot to say to all of you. And I will. But right now, it's just really not a good time. It's actually a terrible time. Tess and I.we're kind of in the middle of something."  
  
"Right." Michael nodded his head. He turned to walk away, but looked back over his shoulder at Liz. "Good luck, Liz. I hope you guys find what you're looking for."  
  
Liz offered Michael a hopeful smile. "Me too, Michael. Me too."  
  
After Michael walked out into the front of the restaurant, Liz climbed the stairs, two at a time, to the home where she'd grown up. She was grateful for the fact that her parents were out of town and the apartment would be empty. She just really didn't have time to deal with them right now. Using her powers to unlock the door, she pushed it open. The lights were off, but Liz didn't need them. Even in the dark, she had the apartment memorized and was at her bedroom door in a matter of seconds. Opening it, she reached her hand in and flipped on the light. Stepping across to the window, she unlocked it, slid it up, and helped Tess inside.  
  
"You know," Tess commented as she climbed in, "When Kyle and I first started dating, I climbed in his window a few times in the middle of the night. I bet he'd get a real kick out of the fact that this time, I'm sneaking in a [i]girl's[/i] window." The smile she gave Liz was small, but genuine.  
  
Liz smiled back at her. "We'll have to fill him in on all the details. He'll be able to picture it perfectly by the way. Remind me to tell you someday about the time Kyle and Max came through this window together."  
  
Tess's eyes widened. "That's one story I won't forget to ask for."  
  
Liz stepped over to her bed and sat down on the corner of it, Tess following and sitting down next to her.  
  
"So, this is it, huh?" Liz asked shakily, reflecting on how strange it was to be here with Tess, to be joking with [I]Tess[/I]. The person she had blamed for all her problems over the years. But that had just been a means of escaping from the mess she had made of her own life.  
  
Tess smiled nervously. "This is it," she agreed.  
  
Tess turned to Liz and watched as the other woman stared at her hands, fiddling with her fingernails. She couldn't blame Liz for being nervous. They both had a lot riding on the missing destiny book page hidden in the wall behind the very bed they were sitting on. And for more reasons than one, Tess prayed silently that she was right. That the page held the information they needed to ensure that Max and Liz did indeed have a future together.  
  
Liz took a deep breath and stood up, turned to face the bed. "Well, here goes." Moving towards the wall at the head of the bed, Liz stopped and turned abruptly. "Tess, whatever the outcome of this, you know, whatever it is we find, I just.I want to thank you. You know, for being my.friend."  
  
Tess felt her eyes welling up. The tension and anxiety she'd felt over the last couple of hours had been building up her emotions and at Liz's expression of gratitude, Tess couldn't hold them back any longer. They'd come so far in the last two days. She and Liz had gone from being enemies to friends. She'd gone from hating Liz Evans with a passion, to admiring her with the utmost respect. And she'd gone from not caring whether or not her best friend's wife ever showed up again to hoping against hope that she never left. Now, face to face with Liz Evans, Tess knew that the other woman felt the same.  
  
Liz smiled once more at Tess, then turned to the wall and placed an unsteady hand on the brick she knew would move at the slightest push. Pausing a second to gain her composure, she put pressure on the corner of the brick, easing her fingers into the crack and pulling the piece of wall out. Crouching down so that she could see into the small dark hole, she squinted her eyes. She wasn't surprised when she saw a faint glow shining from beneath her journal. And without warning, she stood up suddenly and turned around.  
  
"I can't do it," she said breathlessly, her eyes wide with fear.  
  
"Can't do what?" Tess asked, slightly confused.  
  
Liz held up her hands, trembling with fright.  
  
Tess's eyes widened when she saw Liz's hands. Streaks of brilliant jade were crackling from her fingertips, running down her hand and disappearing beneath the sleeves of her shirt. "Liz, wha-"  
  
"It's my powers. When my emotions are heightened, or intense, or sometimes, when I get really stressed I can't control them. Like Michael used to be. Except I've still never completely learned to handle them. I can't touch that page again, Tess. I can't. If I get those flashes again, I won't be able to handle it. Y.you. have to do it."  
  
Tess watched with odd fascination as Liz's façade began to crumble in front of her. Liz had played the part of a woman who would be able to sacrifice herself for a greater cause without ever looking back. But Tess saw that she'd played her part to a T. Because the person standing in front of her was far from the strong, self sacrificing woman she'd led everyone to believe she was. In fact, underneath Liz Evans tough exterior was a woman scared to death that she was losing everything she'd ever wanted.  
  
Tess knew that she would have to be the one to be strong. Liz had held the weight on her shoulders for far too long, and it was about to break her. She, herself, would have to reach into that hole and pull out the page they were seeking. For herself, for Max, for Liz, and even for Kyle. There simply was no other choice. Tess shook her head, and got up from the bed. "Okay," she said hesitantly. "I'll do it."  
  
Tess walked over to the wall, knelt down, and before she had time to think about it, reached inside and pulled out the shiny page. She stepped away from the wall and sat back down on the bed, her eyes glued to the piece of metal, skimming it as fast as she could, reading it from top to bottom, front to back.  
  
Liz watched Tess's face, her heart all but beating out of her chest, for any sign of emotion. The hint of a smile. The beginnings of a frown. [i]Anything[/i] to let her know what the page said.  
  
"What does it say?" Liz asked cautiously when she saw Tess look up, her face pensive and unreadable.  
  
Tess said nothing, merely looked up at Liz, her eyes still wet with tears. Without breaking contact, she lifted her hand, swiped it over the page, and thrust it towards Liz.  
  
Liz reached out reluctantly and took the page. She turned it around so that she could read the words now written in English, and as she did so, her knees gave out beneath her and the world spun into darkness.  
  
~*~*~  
  
"Liz? Liz, c'mon, Liz. I need you to wake up."  
  
Liz opened her eyes and squinted, raising her head to look at her surroundings. She was about to ask what she was doing in her old room, but when she saw Tess's worried expression and glimpsed the shiny silver Destiny Book page sitting on the floor next to her, it all came rushing back.  
  
With a sob, Liz closed her eyes again and leaned her head against the wall, lifting her arm and throwing it across her eyes.  
  
"Liz, what's wrong? I thought this was the answer you wanted? This is everything we were looking for. Don't you see? You and Max can be together now. Why does that upset you?" Tess asked anxiously.  
  
"It doesn't upset me, Tess. I'm overjoyed. But, it breaks my heart," Liz said, opening her eyes. "Because I did it all for nothing. I broke Max's heart and put him through 4 years of misery for nothing!"  
  
It couldn't be true, Liz thought, that it had all been for nothing. That her fruitless attempts to leave Max and Roswell behind had been all because she was trying to prevent something that was nothing but an intricately woven lie. Coming to terms with the fact that there [i]had[/i] been another way might just push her over the edge.  
  
Tess watched Liz's face and shook her head sadly. She was sorry that Max had been hurt. She was sorry that [i]Liz[/i] had been hurt. But Liz was wrong. It hadn't been for nothing. "You're wrong, Liz. It wasn't for nothing. There was a purpose to this, and one that in the long run, helps everyone out."  
  
Liz shook her head. How could this have helped things? How could this have made anything better for any of them? Tess was clearly losing it just as fast as she was. "That's not possible, Tess."  
  
Tess sighed deeply. "Liz, in the other.timeline, you never left. [i]I[/i] never came [I]back[/I]. You and Max were happy, and stayed together. But the world ended. You know why? Because of this." Tess picked up the page from the floor and waved it in front of Liz's face. "In the other timeline, you never knew about this. You, Max, no one. And because of that, you two were never able to have the child that Max is destined to have. But all that changed Liz. Can't you see? When you left town, it changed things. It changed [i]us[/i]. We grew up. We matured. We developed emotions and bonds and feelings for each other. And when you came back to get your divorce, those same feelings are what pushed us to find a way. For you and Max, and me and Kyle, and even for that baby that you'll carry someday," she said, gently touching Liz's abdomen. "If you'd never left, we would have never had a reason to look for this page. And the world would have ended," Tess finished.  
  
"But why, Tess? Why did I have to hurt everyone?" Liz looked down at her hands, then back up at Tess with tortured eyes. "Why did I have to hurt [i]him[/i]?"  
  
"So you could save the world. So you could save [I]him[/I]," Tess said simply, placing her hand on Liz's arm. "And I know you, Liz. I know Max. What you did, what you two went through, was a small sacrifice. You two went through four years of heartbreak and emotional turmoil. But in return, you got the world. Every single person alive owes you and Max more than they'll ever know. Because you've saved them. You've saved them from a horrible future that was never meant to be in the first place."  
  
"But, what if this isn't the way it's supposed to be?" Liz asked. "What if what happened the last time is how it's supposed to be? What if we're playing with fire here, Tess?"  
  
Liz's mind was reeling. She felt everything she'd ever felt in her life, all mixed up in her head, but intensified to the nth degree. She felt the happiest she'd ever been, save for the day she married Max. She felt the most confused she'd ever felt, with all the questions and what ifs running through her mind. She felt more hurt coursing through her veins than she'd ever felt before, the events of the last two days finally taking their toll on her. Everything she'd ever wanted to know she'd just read and her mind couldn't comprehend the reality of the situation. She glanced back at the page, still in Tess's hands, and saw the words in her mind again, already burned into her memory, despite the fact that she'd only read them once, just minutes ago.  
  
[I]The destined mate is predetermined, but not chosen. She who is chosen by the King will be changed, by his own hand, When he chooses to be responsible for her life. And thus she will become his destiny. Then it will be she, and only she, who can bear the child spoken of, and only from a love that no other will rival. .the Granolith holds the answers to the Bonding Ceremony that will make this come to pass. The ceremony must be performed by a member of the royal party, for the King and his chosen queen.[/i]  
  
"No, don't say that, Liz!" Tess's firm tone brought Liz's eyes back up to meet hers. "That [i]isn't[/i] the way it's supposed to be. If it was, then this book wouldn't tell us a way to change it. It wouldn't give us instructions on how to ensure that it wouldn't happen."  
  
"But what if.I mean, how can we..what I mean is, where do we."  
  
Liz's words faded out as she realized that she didn't have any room to argue. Tess was right. This was right. This [i]was[/i] how things were supposed to go. It was always supposed to be she and Max. She'd always known that with him was where she belonged. She'd known it from the first breath she'd taken after he healed her in the Crashdown. There was no use in arguing over it anymore. She'd even known it the minute she watched Tess pull that page out of the wall, that it would say there was a way for she and Max. She'd known it with ever fiber of her being.  
  
But when she saw it in print, when she saw the truth, it scared her to death. Because now there was nothing stopping them. No obstacles in the way, no uninterpreted destinies, no mistranslated books. And that fact alone frightened her more than anything. The path was clear for her to follow every dream she'd ever had and make it come true. A life. A husband. A family.  
  
The real problem was that, with everything she was ever meant to be within her grasp, Liz Evans didn't know where to start. How did she even begin to repair the damage she had done to her marriage by abandoning Max?  
  
"What am I going to do, Tess? There's so much I need to do. So many people I have to explain things to. I don't know where to begin," she said.  
  
Tess grinned a small grin and stood up. "That's the easy part, Liz. You [i]do[/i] know where to begin. The same place you'll finish. With Max."  
  
Liz felt her heart beating once again at a double pace. "I can't believe this is happening. Max and I can be together. And no one's going to die because of it. We can save the world, and be happy," Liz said, the beginnings of a smile starting to turn up the corners of her mouth.  
  
Tess looked at Liz, smiling, and gazing across the room with a far off look in her eyes when a thought occurred to her that made her chest constrict.  
  
She'd lied.  
  
The other version of herself had come back from the future and lied. She'd told them it wasn't possible for Max and Liz to have a baby. She'd told them that there was nothing Max and Liz could do if they stayed together. But she'd known it wasn't true. She'd know there was a way. And the fact that she'd given Liz the page that told them so was proof. She'd taken it out of the Destiny Book before she gave it to her so that it would never be found. She [i]had[/i] been a terrible person. She had been willing to wreck happy homes in order to get what she wanted.  
  
Turning towards the wall, and falling against it with a dull thud, Tess sighed in resignation. "She lied. She came back here, and lied to you. She lied to [i]me[/i], which really means to [I]herself[/I], right to my face. This is all my fault."  
  
Liz turned to Tess, shocked. Tess blamed herself? All this time she'd thought it was her fault that everyone had had to endure such pain and loss. And all this time, Tess had felt the same way. If only she'd handled things differently. Maybe if she had talked to Max, or even Tess, then maybe things could have been different. If she'd only told them why she was leaving, maybe they could have fixed things four years ago. They'd both felt it was their fault, but was it possible that a little communication could have fixed the problem before it had even begun?  
  
But it couldn't be helped now. Asking the what ifs wasn't going to help any of them. Really and truly, not a one of them was to blame. Not her, not Tess, not Max. This was all Future Tess's fault. The blame was completely hers. Liz shook her head. "None of this is your fault, Tess."  
  
"I should have known. I should have seen through her façade. I mean, she's me for cryin' out loud! But I didn't. I let her trick me. Why, Liz, why did I believe her?" Tess cried, her guilt hitting her full force as the tears began to flow down her cheeks.  
  
Liz shook her head. "Tess, I won't let you blame yourself. You're not her. I believed her too. [i]She[/i] was an evil, cruel person, who'd known nothing but unhappiness and loneliness in her lifetime. She had a hard life. It made her a hard person. A person who was willing to do anything if it meant she'd have the chance to live a better life, even if it was in another timeline. But [i]you,[/i] Tess, you're good. You're not the tormented person she was. You're happy, a..and.you're loved. People love you, and you love them back. That alone is enough to prove that you are different than she was."  
  
Tess sniffled, and wiped the tears away from her eyes.  
  
"You know," Liz continued quietly. "She lied to us. She.she manipulated us to get us to do what she wanted. And we did it. We hurt people, and we changed the future. But you know what, I think, in some, weird, sick way, we owe her our thanks."  
  
Tess whipped her head around to face Liz. "What? How can you say that? She was a con artist, and she fooled us both!"  
  
Liz shrugged. "You're happy, Tess. You have Kyle and friends and a family, something you didn't have last time. That [I]she[/I] didn't have. I have a great job that I love, a friend to cherish in Serena, and the chance to be happy with Max and save the world at the same time. [I]She[/I] gave that to us. She made it possible. She could have done it a different way, but she didn't. We can't change that now. But everything we have, is because of her. She wanted to change the future. And she did."  
  
Tess listened in fascination as Liz Evans told her all the reasons she could think of to thank the one person that could have ruined her life. Even after everything she'd had to endure, everything she'd had to give up, Liz still didn't hold it against the woman that had run her out of town.  
  
Tess felt her admiration for Liz Evans grow tenfold. Here she was, convincing the very person that drove her out of town to forgive herself. She'd been lied to and manipulated more than anyone, and had had to sacrifice more than anyone, and she still didn't hate the person that had caused it. Liz truly was a one of kind woman, special in ways that were just becoming evident. There was no longer any question in her mind as to why Max was so devoted to her, even after all this time. "I wish I could be more like you Liz. It's no wonder they all love you so much."  
  
"Hey," Liz said, standing up and holding out her hand to help Tess up. "They love you too. For the exact same reasons they love me. Because we love them back."  
  
Tess smiled, reached out, and took Liz's hand in her own. "We could have been great friends, Liz Evans," Tess said.  
  
"Yeah, well, the way I see it, we still can be," Liz replied. "I just got everything I've wished for the past four years. I plan on using it."  
  
"You're going to Max?" Tess asked.  
  
"Yes. But not tonight. I'm worn out and I have a lot to think about." Liz almost grimaced as she saw Max's face flash through her mind. The hurt and confusion she'd seen on his face had just about done her in when she'd left him in the old jail cell. But now, knowing that she had no valid reason whatsoever for leaving him there, devastated [I]again[/I], she felt sick to her stomach. She had a lot to say to him, a lot to apologize for and even more to explain. And not just for what had happened in the last two days. She'd been gone for four years. Max deserved to know every reason why, every question she'd had, and every emotion she'd felt. She could only hope that he'd still be willing to listen.  
  
Tess saw Liz's downcast look and knew instinctively she was thinking about Max. "It's going to be okay," Tess reassured her as she headed towards Liz's window. "Things will work out Liz. I have no doubt. He loves you. He always has, beyond question, and without condition. You know what the book says," Tess reminded her, turning around to face Liz, one leg slung over the windowsill. "[I]From a love that no other will rival.[/I] That's you and Max."  
  
Liz sighed and walked to the window. On impulse she grabbed Tess's shoulders and hugged her awkwardly. She smiled softly to herself when she felt Tess's arms come up around her. How ironic it was that just two days ago she could have cared less if she never saw Tess Harding again, but now, she knew that somewhere down the line, she truly did want to be friends with the girl who had once been her nemesis.  
  
"Thank you, Tess," Liz said, pulling away.  
  
"Actually," Tess replied, pausing long enough to swing her other leg over the windowsill, then turning to peer inside, "I think [i]I[/i] should be thanking [i]you[/i]."  
  
Liz almost giggled at the wave of relief written over Tess's features. She remembered Tess's expression of unmistakable dread when she'd made her promise to force Max to embrace his destiny. "What made you make that promise anyway?"  
  
Tess shrugged her shoulders. "I had faith. I [i]knew[/i] that book would give us a way."  
  
With that, Tess waved goodbye, turned to the balcony ladder, and climbed down.  
  
Shutting the window, Liz turned around and grabbed the telephone on the bedside table. She dialed the hotel and asked for her room number, smiling when she heard Serena's groggy voice answer the phone.  
  
"Hello? It's after midnight. This better be good."  
  
Liz rolled her eyes good-naturedly at Serena's snappy tone. "Hey, it's me. I just want to let you know I won't be sleeping there tonight."  
  
"Are you with Max?"  
  
Liz squinted here eyes at the opposite wall, obviously hearing the uncertainty in Serena's voice. "No, I'm not with Max. I'm at home. I'm tired, so I'm just going to crash here tonight. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"  
  
"Yeah, Liz. Tomorrow." Serena's tone was still slightly frosty.  
  
"Rena." Liz swallowed. "I'm really sorry about before. I.I guess it just made me mad that knew exactly what was going through my head. You were right you know. I was being selfish and a chicken. But everything's different now."  
  
Serena's voice had softened when she asked, "Different how?"  
  
"It's too long to get into on the phone," Liz replied. "But suffice it to say, I won't be leaving Roswell until I get everything straightened out once and for all."  
  
There was a long pause and then Serena sighed. "Well okay then. I forgive you. I have to. You've been so manic nuts the last few days, I can't blame you."  
  
"Thanks Rena." Liz breathed a sigh of relief. "I owe you one."  
  
"The way I see it, you owe me about three hundred," Serena joked. "But we'll let it slide, shall we. Sleep well."  
  
"I will. For the first time in a long time, I [I]know[/I] I will," Liz replied.  
  
"I can't wait to hear what brought on this epiphany," Serena grumbled. "Don't wait too long. Come back here first thing tomorrow."  
  
"I'll come back as soon as I can. Why don't you do something touristy?" Liz suggested. "Check out the UFO Centre or something."  
  
"Maybe." Serena trailed off, not sounding convinced. "Night."  
  
"Good night."  
  
Liz sighed as she hung the phone back up on its cradle and lay back on the bed. She turned on her side, staring at the room she'd grown up in. Still standing in the corner was the mirror she'd used to try on the simple white dress in which she'd married Max. On the dresser was the dried up rose he'd given her the night they'd decided to elope. Hanging in the closet was the Crashdown uniform she'd worn as a teenager to work in the restaurant where her life with Max had begun. Everywhere she looked made Liz think of Max. And for the first time in four years, she was able to smile at her memories.  
  
There was still a small smile playing on her lips when she drifted off to sleep.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Tess jumped when a hand landed on her shoulder. "What are you doing out this late by yourself?"  
  
She spun around and lifted her arm, hitting Max squarely in the chest with her fist. "Max Evans, If you ever scare me like that again, I swear I'll blast you to kingdom come!"  
  
Max raised his hands in surrender. "Sorry. Didn't mean to, really. But it is a valid question."  
  
"Oh please," Tess said, rolling her eyes. "Like I can't protect myself."  
  
"It's a dangerous world, Tess."  
  
Tess snorted, but her mood quickly sobered when she noticed for the first time the redness in his eyes and the taut look on his face. "Max, are you okay?"  
  
"Of course. Why wouldn't I be?" Max asked. "I'm [I]always[/I] fine." He paused, then muttered, half to himself. "Nothing a cold beer won't fix."  
  
Tess narrowed her eyes. Something [i]was[/i] wrong. "Max you don't drink. You and alcohol don't mix, remember?"  
  
"Yeah, well, apparently, neither do me and Liz," he said, his voice laced with sarcasm. He scowled. "Why would anything be wrong? It's not like it's new or anything."  
  
Tess stared at Max, noticing a change in him that sent a shiver down her spine. He seemed.weak. Rejected. Defeated. Whatever Liz had done to him this time had definitely struck a chord. His nonchalant attitude was sending up alarm bells. "What's that supposed to mean?" Tess asked.  
  
Max sighed deeply. "Nothing, okay? I just.when I ran after her tonight, I found her. We talked a bit. I know now that she was right. We'll never be together. I'm over it."  
  
"Don't lie to me, Max. What happened?"  
  
"I don't want to talk about it."  
  
"Max," Tess said, placing her hand on his shoulder. "Everything's going to turn out fine, okay?"  
  
Max laughed bitterly. "Yeah. For you. You've [i]got[/i] the person you'll love. I'll never be with the person I love again."  
  
Tess shifted uncomfortably from one foot to another. She hated seeing him like this, hated watching him hurt know she could do something about it. But was it really her place to tell him? Making a split moment decision, Tess decided to tell Max a little bit, leaving the most of it for Liz to reveal.  
  
"Max, Liz is coming to see you. There's some things she needs to explain," she blurted quickly.  
  
Max fixed his gaze on Tess's face. "I don't want to see her."  
  
"Max, don't say that! She really needs to talk to you. It's extremely important that you hear her out."  
  
There was a long pause. Max's expression remained closed, angry. "Tess, do you know what she just did to me? She kissed me and told me she loved me. She made every dream I've had since she left come true, then she turned around and left me [I]again[/I]. I'm through with Liz. I'm done."  
  
Tess's concern was turning into full-fledged panic. What was going on here? Just yesterday, Max had been ready to fight tooth and nail to win Liz back. Hell, just a few hours ago he had played just about the dirtiest trick in the book to make her admit she still loved him. Now he was giving up, letting her go. Tess couldn't even imagine what Liz must have said to him to do [I]this.[/I].  
  
But as she remembered Liz's despair earlier, her guilt, her absolute gut- driven belief that she and Max could not be together, Tess frowned. It had been [I]bad[/I], perhaps unforgivable. And, yet, Liz deserved one more chance. None of it had been her fault!  
  
"Max, we found something, Liz and I," Tess tried desperately. "Something that changes everything."  
  
Max snorted, kicking at a stone near his feet. "It doesn't matter anymore Tess. Nothing can make me care anymore."  
  
"Max, you do care. I know you do. Listen to me. We found a way for you and Liz to be together. We found the answers to all your problems. You can be happy, [I]with[/I] Liz, and she's going to come see you. She wants to talk to you, Max."  
  
Max glared at her for a full minute. "I thought you were [I]my[/I] friend," he finally said suspiciously. "Why are you suddenly playing defense attorney for Liz?"  
  
"I [I]am[/I] your friend Max. Of course I am." Tess was beginning to get annoyed. When had she ever steered him wrong? "You just need to give Liz a chance. She regrets everything and I know for a fact that she wants you back."  
  
Max threw his arms out to the side. "What if I don't want [i]her[/i] back, Tess? What if I've given up? I've spent four years of my life chasing after a dream that I've realized I lost a long time ago. I can't do this anymore. If I don't start living a life of my own and if I don't learn to do it without Liz, I'll go crazy, Tess. These past years, I've been living for Liz, on the hope that she'll come back to me. She's made it perfectly clear she doesn't want that. I'm dealing with it."  
  
"Max, you may be able to fool everyone else, but you can't fool me. I'm your best friend, remember? I know you better than anyone. And I know you haven't given up on Liz. Look, Max. This is your destiny. Liz and the future you are going to have with her. We've seen it. There's a missing page to the Destiny Book and it gives us all the answers. It's going to be fine. Liz is coming back to you. You can be together."  
  
Max shook his head. "So what does that mean, Tess? You found a missing page in a book from another planet. And all of a sudden, things are going to be okay because now that you've read it, I'm [i]allowed[/i] to love Liz? All this time, I've been told to give her up, that it's not possible, and when I finally decide to do it, you convince me not too? Make up your mind!"  
  
"Max, that's not how I meant it, and you know it. I only ever wanted you to be happy. I didn't [I]know[/I] why Liz left. Now that I do, she deserves another chance," Tess argued. "Everything I've ever said was for you. And I'm saying this for your own good this time too. Don't throw away your chance at happiness now that you finally have it."  
  
"Save it, Tess. Just save it for.oh, how about Liz? She'll need someone to talk to after I tell her to get lost. I just can't do this anymore."  
  
Tess watched with an open mouth as Max turned on his heel and walked away from her.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Kyle, honey, are you home?" Tess hollered as she opened the front door to their apartment.  
  
"Hey," Kyle said, looking up sleepily from the couch. He'd obviously tried to wait up for her with little to no success. Tess smiled slightly to herself, in spite of her bad mood.  
  
"I didn't see your car outside. I thought you were still working," Tess said as she plopped down next to him. She snuggled into his side when she felt his arms wrap around her shoulders.  
  
"Yeah, my patrol car had a flat and my truck is still in the shop. I got one of the other deputies to drop me off. One of the perks of being Jim Valenti's son. They do what I tell 'em."  
  
Tess giggled and closed her eyes when she felt Kyle press his lips to her temple.  
  
"Have a rough day?" He asked, tipping her chin up so she could meet his gaze.  
  
"Not exactly rough. Just.full. Michael, Isabel and I went to the pod chamber today. I wanted to find a way to help Max and Liz. They've gotten so out of control."  
  
"What did you find?"  
  
"Answers. After that, I went to talk to Liz, and we found out what really happened when she left here. And we found a way to fix things between she and Max."  
  
"Why don't you sound as happy as I think you should? I thought you wanted them back together?"  
  
"I do," Tess said. "Except I don't think things are going to be able to just go back like they were, you know? A lot has happened. Max and Liz are both changed. She's got this whole other life in New York, and he's got one here in Roswell. They've been on their own for four years. As much as we all wish it would happen, I have a feeling they won't just be able to just kiss and make up."  
  
"They're Liz and Max. They'll find a way. You've always believed it, and now that I've seen her here and the way they are around each other, I believe it too. It'll happen. Give it time."  
  
"I hope you're right," Tess said softly, frowning slightly when she thought of Max's temper tantrum earlier. She was going to have to be up bright and early again to try and reason with him some more. She hoped he would be in a better mood after a good night's sleep.  
  
She couldn't be angry at him though. Tess had learned first hand today how stubborn Liz Evans could be. She had obviously really hurt Max earlier. She considered getting up and calling Liz to warn her, but Kyle was raining little kisses down her neck, finally distracting her sufficiently that she turned her full attention back to her fiancé.  
  
"Aren't I always? Right I mean?" He whispered against her ear.  
  
Tess turned to smile at Kyle, found herself getting lost in his intense gaze. It had been days since they'd spent any real time together and she realized how much she'd missed just being alone with him. "Why don't we forget about Liz and Max for tonight," Tess suggested breathlessly, her friends' soap operatic lives already flying from her mind.  
  
Kyle grinned devilishly, sending a delicious thrill through Tess's veins. It was the last thing she saw as he reached out his hand to flick off the lamp. "Can't think of anything I'd rather do."  
  
To be continued. 


	20. Chapter 20

[u]Part 20[/u]  
  
Liz woke with a gasp, sitting up and staring at the wall before she even realized she was awake. Her heart was still pounding from some nightmare that was slipping out of her memory already. She frowned slightly, forced herself to take deep breaths to calm down.  
  
She had no idea what she had been dreaming about, but she knew somehow that it had to do with Max. Something was wrong. Either he was in danger or something else had happened. Concentrating now she understood abruptly that the turmoil she was feeling had absolutely nothing to do with any bad dream and everything to do with Max.  
  
Liz felt tears fill her eyes, felt a lump enter her throat as she understood what it meant. She felt a smile of pure joy break out across her face.  
  
The connection had reopened. She had opened her heart to him again and suddenly, without warning she could [I]feel[/I] him, just like in the old days.  
  
Blinking away the moisture, she glanced out her bedroom window, almost expecting Max to be waiting for her there, peering in her window like he used to do when they were in high school. He would always look slightly uncomfortable until he was certain she was there, had always relaxed visibly when their eyes had met. He had told her once that he had always feared accidentally running into her father or mother. She giggled slightly now, amused still that he could find her parents so terrifying. Of course, based on her mother's reaction when they had eloped to Vegas, she couldn't say that she blamed him. Her parents had almost seemed relieved when she had run away from Max. She knew it was why they hadn't told anyone where she was for such a long time. They had always believed that she had thrown away her life for Max Evans.  
  
But that had never been it of course. She had thrown away her life by running away from him. She had been a martyr long enough. It was time to go get things back on track, time to make herself happy for once.  
  
They were meant to be. The fact that he was with her now, after so long, when he wasn't even anywhere in the vicinity.it was the last proof she needed that this was the right thing.  
  
Jumping to her feet, Liz glanced at the clock, realized that it was still extremely early, barely six o'clock. But she wanted to catch Max before he went to work and there was no way she would be able to get back to sleep anyway. Her vision of their reunion involved far too much emotion for it to occur in a public place.  
  
They needed to be alone for what she had in mind.  
  
Grinning to herself in the shower moments later, Liz shook her head when she realized that she was actually humming - off key, yes, but humming nontheless.  
  
[I]You're lucky you're so cute wife of mine.[/I] Now that she was allowing her happy memories to return, they were coming back full force. She could almost picture Max pulling back the shower curtain and running his eyes up and down her body appreciatively. [I]You have the worst voice I've ever heard.[/I]  
  
She could hear her own sultry voice replying, twirled under the stream of water in anticipation [I]Well then husband dear, come make me really sing.[/I]  
  
Less than half an hour later, Liz was out of her parent's apartment and driving to Max's house. He actually lived very close to the Crashdown, likely because of the convenience of walking to work at the UFO Center every day. It was only as she drew nearer to her husband's small home the Liz felt her good mood draining a bit. Because she was beginning to remember the bad feeling with which she had awoken.  
  
The connection she shared with Max had jerked her out of a sound sleep. It had disappeared almost immediately, and she had ignored what he had been feeling through it, because of her joy at his sudden presence back in her soul. It was the only excuse that she could come up with for why she had ignored the bad feeling she was now getting as she drew closer to Max.  
  
She frowned, concentrated again. She realized that she must have known right off that he wasn't in any physical danger. She could tell that now too. It was maybe another little excuse for ignoring what was now so blatantly clear to her, it was almost painful.  
  
He wasn't happy. At all. Something [I]was[/I] wrong, but she couldn't quite get enough of a read to figure out what. But he was definitely awake. And, somehow, she knew that he was waiting for her.  
  
Liz was beginning to feel a little trepidation as she turned onto Max's quiet street. She passed an early morning jogger, nodded hello, but bit her lip as she stopped in front of her husband's house.  
  
She rolled her eyes slightly when she realized that she was hoping that he was going to throw open the front door and make this easy for her. She couldn't imagine that Tess hadn't told him [I]something[/I] last night. In spite of their new, friendlier status, Liz knew that Tess was, and always would be, Max's friend first. She would have done the same thing.  
  
Of course, if Tess had spoken to Max, shouldn't he be in a better frame of mind? Liz wrinkled her nose, realized that she could almost feel his black mood descending over her like a physical mass. She sighed heavily, understood that he wasn't going to make this easy on her. He was still upset about what had happened at the jail - rightfully - but it was going to make this all harder than she had anticipated.  
  
Well, she wasn't leaving without telling him exactly what she wanted from him. They had been apart long enough. He had spent the last three days trying to convince her that she still loved him. She wasn't going to let him turn his back on that now. Not when they could finally be together!  
  
Steeling herself, Liz marched up the front walk, onto the porch and knocked on the door. She smiled nervously when Max's dog - had she ever known it's name? Heck, had she ever even known that Max [I]liked[/I] dogs? - started barking.  
  
"Be quiet Lou!" Liz frowned slightly, recognizing Tess's voice through the door. It opened a moment later to reveal the small blonde. She stepped out onto the porch, closing the door behind her so Lou couldn't get out. "Sorry Liz. He only shuts up when Max tells him to," she sighed as the dog continued to bark.  
  
"That's okay," Liz replied. "Um, where's Max?" She asked, her dread becoming a small knot on the pit of her stomach. "I.I thought he was here."  
  
Tess shook her head in annoyance. "He was here. He left about five minutes ago. I think he knew you were coming."  
  
"Why are [I]you[/I] here Tess?" Liz asked. She was desperately trying to control the panic that was threatening to take over. This was bad. Really bad. Her premonition earlier had not been a figment of her imagination it seemed. In spite of the fact that all she wanted was to see him, it seemed that he was feeling exactly the opposite at the moment. "Did you tell him?"  
  
"Some of it," Tess admitted. "Liz, I won't lie to you. He's not himself. I can't figure out what the heck is wrong with him. I ran into him last night and he was acting really strange. What did you [I]say[/I] to him yesterday? Because whatever it was, it worked."  
  
Liz closed her eyes, swallowed. "Does it really matter?" She finally asked, her heart breaking over how much she had hurt Max the day before. She hadn't allowed herself to [I]really[/I] think about it until now, but the image of him on the floor of that jail-cell watching her walk away from him [I]again[/I].it was starting to haunt her.  
  
"I guess not," Tess replied. "I came over first thing, tried to talk to him Liz, tried to get him to give you a chance to explain once and for all. I just don't know why he's finally pissed. It's so weird."  
  
"Tess, we need to find him," Liz said firmly, forcing herself to remain calm. Now was not the time to freak out. She needed to find Max and they needed to work this out once and for all.  
  
"I think you can find him Liz," Tess told her. "He said that you'd know where he was if you really thought about it. That he would be in the one place where you've always been totally honest with each other?" She shrugged helplessly. "Do you have any idea where that is?"  
  
Liz felt momentarily perplexed. She closed her eyes again, reached out with her senses, trying to understand what Max was doing, where he was. The one place where they had always been honest with each other? What the heck was he talking about?  
  
And suddenly she knew.  
  
[I] It was the night of their graduation and they had come out to the radio tower near Pohlman Ranch to be alone after dropping Michael and Maria off at home. Liz had been sure that they were in for a lengthy make-out session, but Max had become increasingly quiet and pensive. Now, they were stretched out on a blanket, staring up at the star-filled sky, their hands linked, neither having said anything for a long time. It was a comfortable silence, but Liz also knew that Max had something on his mind that he wanted to talk about. She had tried to wait patiently, but her nerves were getting the better of her.  
  
"What are you thinking about?" She finally whispered, tempted to sit up so that she could look at his face, but resisting, knowing somehow that he needed her to stay where she was.  
  
There was a long pause. Liz concentrated on the feeling of Max's thumb rubbing gently against the back of her hand, tried to stay calm. She was nervous for some reason she didn't understand, but not in a bad way.  
  
"I was just thinking about how I used to look at these stars and wonder what my future held, if someone out there was going to come back for us one day," Max finally replied quietly. "I was thinking that it was weird to look at them and [I]know[/I] now for sure that I don't want them to."  
  
"You don't?" Liz asked, her heart beating more quickly against her rib- cage.  
  
"No. I belong here." He moved slightly, propped his head up on his hand and stared down into her face. It was dark, but the stars provided enough light that she could see the way his eyes were shining, their beauty taking her breath away. She reached up and gently traced the contours of his face, marveling again that he was really hers. "I was also thinking that I wanted to be brutally honest with you about something, but I'm scared to be."  
  
Liz frowned slightly. "Why? Don't you know by now that you can say anything to me?"  
  
"Of course. It's not that. I'm just worried that you're not ready. That I might screw this up somehow." He paused, sighed. "Liz, you have so many dreams. I don't want to stand in your way - ever."  
  
"You couldn't ever stand in my way Max!" Liz insisted. "I love you. You are my dream come true. Everything else comes second. It's my decision to love you, to want to be with you, no matter what."  
  
He grinned. "Yeah, you can be pretty stubborn, can't you?" He was obviously referring to how she had chased him during their sophomore year until he had finally given in. She frowned at him for teasing her, but he only bent his head, kissed her gently on the lips. "Thank God for that," he added.  
  
"So, tell me," Liz sighed happily, sitting up and crossing her legs to listen.  
  
Max stared at her for a long moment, then finally he continued, "Liz, I once told you that whether I did tomorrow or fifty years from now, my destiny is the same - it's you. It's always been you Liz. There could never be anyone else. I love you. We belong together. I know that we're too young and I know it's crazy, but I just don't see the point in waiting. I want our official life together to have started yesterday. Say you'll be my wife. Please, marry me Liz."  
  
She blinked at him in astonishment. She knew her mouth was hanging open, but she couldn't help it. She had always known that this day would come, but it had never once crossed her mind that it would be so soon.  
  
And, yet, she knew it was right. There was no doubt in her mind. She didn't even answer him, simply threw her arms around his neck and started kissing him. After a long moment, he pulled back, laughing. "Is that a yes?"  
  
"What do you think?" Liz replied, her tone sultry. She kissed him again, in her heart sealing their bond for all time. They made love under the stars, then drove to Vegas early in the morning to make it official.[/I]  
  
"I know where he is," Liz whispered, tears filling her eyes, as she understood exactly what he was trying to do. "He wants to erase it all. He wants to end it permanently in the place where it all started."  
  
Tess frowned at her. "Liz, what's going on? What are you talking about?"  
  
"Tess, I don't know if I can fix this. I really don't," Liz admitted. "I can't believe it's true, but I might be too late."  
  
"You're not giving up are you?" Tess sounded horrified. "You haven't even talked to him!"  
  
Liz met Tess's eyes, could see the outrage beginning to appear on the pretty blonde's face. "Why are you mad?" She asked, feeling a little shocked that fate could be so cruel, that this could all be going so badly, and not understanding why Tess was mad at [I]her[/I].  
  
"I can't believe you're giving up on him! He's never given up on you." Tess was almost shaking in her fury. "Whatever it takes Liz - you have to do it. He deserves that much from you. [I]You[/I] deserve to be happy too. You are both such idiots. I can't believe I can't make either of you see it."  
  
Liz stared at her. "I never said I was giving up Tess," she finally said. "It's too important. I [I]won't[/I] give up."  
  
The relief that appeared on Tess's face was almost comical. Liz smiled.almost. She couldn't quite manage it. It was still a little upsetting that her reunion with Max was not going to go as smoothly as she'd hoped.  
  
"Well, then what are you waiting for?" Tess demanded. "Go find him!"  
  
Liz impulsively reached out and hugged the other woman. "I will. But stick close your phone. He may need a shoulder to cry on when I'm through with him."  
  
Tess began to look slightly worried again. "Liz, what are you planning?"  
  
"I'm planning to let him say whatever he has to say to me," Liz shrugged, pretending a nonchalance and confidence she did not feel. She refused to allow herself to think about what she was going to have to get through over the next few hours. But it needed to be done. He was stubborn, but if there was one thing she had proven over the past few days - over the past few [I]years[/I] - she was more so. "And then I'm going to win him back," she finished firmly.  
  
********************************** He was waiting for her exactly where she knew he would be. He was leaning against the radio tower, watched her drive up. She couldn't see his expression from where she was, but the practiced casualness of his pose indicated that it would be perfectly unreadable, just like it always was when he was being stubborn.  
  
Unfortunately for him, she didn't need to read his face. She could read his mood just fine, thanks to the connection. And it was not pretty. He wasn't angry exactly, but he wasn't particularly glad to see her either. In fact, he was sort of giving off the vibes of eagerly anticipating getting a dreaded chore over with.  
  
Liz pulled her rental car to a stop next to his old Jeep, which she was amazed to see he was still driving. How the heck was that thing still running? It had to be alien voodoo. There was no other explanation.  
  
She climbed out of the car, walked slowly towards him. "Hi." She hadn't thought about exactly how she was going to start the conversation, but this seemed safe. She was going to allow him to lead the way, at least for the moment. She looked around, felt a small smile cross her face as the familiar smell and sights of the desert made her blood sing. How she had missed this place - [I]their[/I] place. It was so liberating to be able to allow herself to feel it. "It's been so long since I've been out here."  
  
Max didn't answer her, simply crossed his arms and waited. Liz grimaced. She had no idea what he wanted from her.  
  
After a long moment of silence he finally said, "Well?"  
  
"Well what?" Liz asked patiently.  
  
"Tess tells me you have something to say," Max replied. "I'm listening."  
  
"That's true," Liz admitted. "We found something.something that eradicates everything I've known to be true for the past four years."  
  
"Interesting." He didn't sound the least bit interested. In fact, he was beginning to sound angry. "And what would that be? Something to do with this miracle child I'm supposed to father?"  
  
"Well, yes. It turns out that [I] I'm[/I] supposed to be its mother," Liz told him wryly. "We just have to undergo a little alien ceremony thing and I'll be able to." Liz felt a lump enter her throat. For the first time, she allowed herself to feel the joy that she was actually going to be able to bear a child. Max's child. "You know," she trailed off, meeting his eyes uncertainly.  
  
"So that is what this is about," Max muttered. "I knew it. I cannot believe this."  
  
"Believe what? It's good news Max. The reason we were apart no longer exists." Liz moved forward a step, reached out her hand. He eyed it for a moment but didn't take it. Liz slowly lowered it again, continued, "I know that we can't just go back to the way things were, but I want you to know that I never stopped loving you. You saw what I was trying to avoid by leaving you. I know that when you kissed me, you got the flashes. I had no choice."  
  
"[I]You[/I] always have a choice Liz," Max snapped. She had seen his eyes flicker slightly when she had said that she loved him, like he believed it, but it didn't matter one single bit. "I never do. And that's the real problem here, isn't it?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"While I can admire why you did what you did, I don't know if I can forgive you for it. All this time, I thought I could. I thought that if you'd only come back, we could fix things because we belonged together. And, of course, all along I was right. But you ran at the first sign of trouble and didn't even tell me[I]why[/I]."  
  
"I did so tell you Max!" Liz exclaimed. "You knew I couldn't have kids!"  
  
"Fine, you told me that," Max conceded. "But you didn't tell me why it was so important. You made the decision all by yourself that I was just going to have to let you go. Well, you know what Liz? As much as you want to, you don't control my heart. I can't just turn it off and on like you can."  
  
"Max, that's not true! This whole time, I've been miserable."  
  
"Liz, you got engaged to someone else for Pete's sake! That does not scream misery to me," Max reminded her angrily.  
  
"It was to try and forget you. It had nothing to do with not loving you."  
  
"And therein lies the problem. You have never believed in us as much as I have. And I just don't know if I'm able to keep believing enough for the both of us. It's just so damn tiring." Max scraped his hands through his hair, making it stand up on end. Liz felt a shiver descend her spine at how truly angry he was. "How am I supposed to ever trust you again? You can tell me you love me one minute and then you run away from me the next! I just would not survive it again Liz. I wouldn't."  
  
"You won't have to Max. I'll never leave you again. I know now that we belong together." Liz reached out, touched his arm. He stared down at her hand for a long moment, then flinched away.  
  
"It took a stupid book to tell you that Liz. I'm sorry that I have issues with that fact, but I do."  
  
He turned his back on her, stared out across the desert. "I want a divorce. I want you to sign those papers and then I want you to go back to New York, to your new life, and just leave me alone."  
  
She felt another shiver descend her spine. She had never in a million years expected him to just come out and say it. But why not? She had done it to him enough times over the past few days.  
  
"Max, I [I]can't[/I]," she whispered. "Don't you know that?"  
  
"Oh right. The miracle kid. Fine. I'm sure we can manage that first."  
  
The cold tone of his voice made her blood freeze in her veins. "That's not what I meant Max and you know it," she said firmly, desperately trying to hold onto her composure. She had known that this was going to be bad, but she hadn't imagined it quite like this.  
  
He did not trust her. He did not know if he could ever trust her again. And she could not blame him one single bit.  
  
"I don't particularly care what you meant Liz."  
  
"Max, you're being ridiculous!" Liz flared, suddenly angry. "Are you trying to tell me that you would allow me to take your child out of Roswell? You would never in a million years agree to that."  
  
He frowned, obviously not having considered this point. It was pretty clear by now that he wasn't thinking straight at all. He was just too upset. Well, she was just going to have to fix that. And there was only one way. She was going to have to make him trust her again.  
  
"No," he agreed. "Fine. I'll move to New York to be near it. But it doesn't mean that we can be together anymore."  
  
"Why not?" Liz demanded. "You love me, I love you. The math isn't that difficult Max."  
  
"Liz, don't you get it?" He asked, his voice suddenly so raw, she glanced up at his face in astonishment. All of his anger was gone, replaced by a despair so deep, she felt her heart crack into little pieces and then shatter in her chest. "How.How can I ever believe that you really want to be with [I]me[/I]? You ran so quickly, didn't even try and let me help you. I always thought that we could do anything together, but then at the first test, you left. You proved that you [I]never[/I] believed it. And now, if we're together, I'll always wonder deep down if it's only because of the baby.because all you care about is saving the world. You left me because of it, and now it's brought you back."  
  
"Max, that makes no sense," Liz said quietly. "We are meant to create a child to save the world because we love each other. The love came first Max. The baby will just be the symbol of it."  
  
"Maybe that would have been true once Liz," Max acknowledged. "There's just no way that I can ever know that for sure now." He swallowed, brushed impatiently at his shining eyes. "I'm sorry I'm not as brave as you are. But I just can't do it. I can't risk you leaving me again. Because whose to say some future version of someone won't come to you at some point in the future and make you do it again? They'll always come to you Liz, because they'll always know that you're the strong one. And you'll always believe them and you'll always do what's best for everyone else. It's why I love you, it's who you are, but it's also why I have to be the one to walk away this time."  
  
And he did exactly that.  
  
Liz watched him drive off in the Jeep several moments later, tears streaming down her face. The mess she had made of their relationship was only now becoming clear to her. She had made Max think that she didn't trust him to help make the major decisions in their lives. And, really, wasn't that what she had done by running away without telling him the truth? Because hadn't she known that somehow he would convince her to stay in Roswell? That his eternal hope and optimism would have defeated her in the end?  
  
The sheer irony was that she had done the right thing. Tess never would have returned to Roswell and stayed had Liz still been here and they [I]needed[/I] her. They never would have found out about the [I]real[/I] prophecy if Tess hadn't stayed. But, to make all that happen, Liz's marriage had been almost irrepairably destroyed and there was no question that Max's faith in her had suffered.  
  
He had never felt that he was worthy of her and by running away, she had made his worst fear a reality - that she felt the same way. She had not trusted him enough to help her do the right thing and she had proven him right, even though it had been the last thing she intended to do.  
  
But he still loved her. That was clear. All was not lost. Love was still the most important thing. It could heal everything. It was only going to take longer than Liz had hoped. He had been patient for so long. She could certainly do the same for him.  
  
She had told Tess that she was not giving up and she wasn't. She would [I]make[/I] him trust her again if it was the last thing she ever did. And she knew exactly how to go about doing it too. If he wanted her to stop thinking about everyone else first, well, that's exactly what she would do.  
  
For the first time in a long time, she knew exactly what she wanted and she wasn't giving up until she got it.  
  
Straightening her spine, Liz marched to her rental car, ready to set her plan into motion.  
  
************************  
  
Tess hurried across the Roswell main drag towards the UFO Centre, two cups of coffee from the Crashdown in her hands. She frowned when she reached the double doors, staring at them in consternation and then down at the drinks in her grasp. Now what?  
  
She raised her head in suprise when the doors opened from the inside. Max was leaning against the door-frame, one eyebrow raised as he glanced down at his watch. "You're two hours late."  
  
"What?" Tess asked in annoyance, thrusting one of the cups towards him. He took it, turned around and walked back inside.  
  
"I was expecting you to come yell at me by noon. Liz's friend Serena has already been here. She was pretending to look around, but she kept shooting me evil glances, so I know she wanted to make me feel guilty. Maria called me earlier to tell me she was coming over later. I'm shocked and appalled that [I]both[/I] of them beat you Tess. You're losing your touch."  
  
Tess grimaced at the sarcasm in his tone. But she was more angry than anything, so she just snapped, "So you really did it then? You really told Liz you didn't want to get back together?" She followed him down the stairs, shaking her head in disbelief at his unbelievable self-sabotage. "Why Max? Why on Earth would you do that to yourself? Are you really so bound and determined to punish Liz that you're willing to live in misery for the rest of your life?"  
  
Max sighed heavily as he took a sip of his coffee. "I'm not trying to punish Liz," he told her firmly. "I'm trying to protect myself. There's only so much torture a guy can take Tess."  
  
"A guy? Since when are you a [I]guy[/I]?" Tess demanded. "You're Max. She's Liz. What the heck does being a guy have to do with any of it? You're above being a [I]guy[/I] Max. You live for torturing yourself over her. That's really the truth isn't it? You're scared because there really and truly isn't anything standing in your way anymore."  
  
"I have no idea what you're talking about," Max replied evenly. His controlled stubborness was enough to make Tess want to belt him. "But you might as well just say it all Tess. Because I'm warning you. I don't want to ever talk about this again. I've made my decision. You get one shot and this is it. After this, if you intend for our friendship to continue, Liz Parker will no longer be a topic open for conversation."  
  
"You know [I]exactly[/I] what I'm talking about," Tess replied. "And you can't threaten to end this friendship Max. That's bull and you know it. We were always meant to be friends. Why else did you and Liz have to go through all this? So you can try and shut it off if you want to, but I won't ever leave you alone. Because friends don't allow their friends to deliberately mess up their lives. The end."  
  
"I'm so glad I have the resident expert on friendship in my life." Max plopped down on the bench behind the counter, a scowl on his face.  
  
"Stop pouting and tell me what you did you big idiot!"  
  
"You know what I did. Half the town seems to know what I did," Max retorted. "Did Liz put a bulletin in the newspaper or something?"  
  
"What?" Tess wondered what the hell he was talking about.  
  
It all became clear a moment later when Pam came out from the back room, brushed past without saying a single flirtatious thing to Max. In fact, the chill coming off of her was enough to send a shiver down Tess's back. "What the heck was that about?" Tess whispered when Pam stomped up the stairs towards the entrance. Moments later the sound of her slamming things around on the admissions desk came floating down. When Tess turned back towards Max, he was glowering after his employee.  
  
"Apparently Pam knows too. She's mad at me for standing up for myself. Who knew she could be turned so easily? Women."  
  
Tess felt a pang of sympathy. "So Serena was here too huh?"  
  
Max nodded glumly. "That woman hates my guts."  
  
"Can you blame her Max? Your wife left you to save the world and now that you can be together, you tell her no? After practically making her insane trying to get her back over the past week? Serena has every right to dislike you."  
  
"I'm so glad I have you to tell me these things Tess," Max replied. He rolled his eyes. "I really need to hang out with more guys. Michael would understand."  
  
"Michael is whipped and you know it." Tess modified her tone. "Max, you can't leave things like this. You know you can't. You love her. Hasn't she been through enough? Just give in gracefully, be happy. Why is this so difficult for you?"  
  
"I can't trust her," Max said stubbornly. "I just can't. It's impossible."  
  
"There is [I]no[/I] way?" Tess asked quietly. "Absolutely [I]no[/I] way, ever?"  
  
"No."  
  
"That's crap." Max blinked at her, obviously slightly surprised at the tone of her voice. "Excuse my language, but it is. I was right before. You're just scared. You're scared of screwing this up again."  
  
"You keep saying that," Max almost yelled. "I don't even know what you're talking about. I didn't screw up before. [I]I[/I] wasn't the one who left!"  
  
Tess didn't reply for a long moment, just felt her heart break for him. "No Max, you didn't. But you blame yourself that she couldn't tel l you what was going on. You blame yourself for her leaving you. "  
  
"What? Why would I do that?" But his eyes had widened, as though he was a little frightened by her words.  
  
"You blame yourself for loving her too much. Because you know that you wouldn't have let her leave. You know that even if there was no other way, you would have let the world end rather than lose her." Tess reached out, took his hand and squeezed. "You're not scared of her leaving you again. You're scared because you know that she won't. And you still don't feel worthy of her. You never have, isn't that really it?"  
  
"No." But his voice cracked as he said it.  
  
"Oh Max. You weren't surprised at all when she left. It was what you expected all along, wasn't it? And now that she's really back, you have to accept that you're worth this. You and Liz belong together Max and you do deserve to be happy." Tess felt tears filling her eyes at the naked pain on his face. "What are we going to do with you?"  
  
She reached out and hugged him. He was shaking, apparently incapable of saying anything. Tess wondered if she had finally made him recognize something even he hadn't seen in himself. She couldn't understand why. Tess had known the truth ever since he had come back from New York alone that first time. He hadn't fought for Liz because all this time, he really hadn't believed that he deserved her.  
  
"I'm taking you home," Tess finally said, pulling away and taking him by the hand. He just nodded, looking shell-shocked. "Pam?" She yelled up the stairs.  
  
The bottled blonde appeared a moment later, obviously surprised that Tess was deigning to speak to her. She felt a flash of guilt. "Yeah?"  
  
"Man the fort. I'm taking Max home."  
  
Tess could see Pam's annoyance fading as she took in Max's abrupt disarray. She understood that the blonde had been more angry on Liz's behalf at Max's steely control than anything, probably mad that he was giving up something he obviously still wanted. For the first time, Tess actually liked Pam. She wasn't that bad at all.  
  
"Okay," Pam replied.  
  
A quarter of an hour later, Tess was pulling her car up in front of Max's house. He hadn't said a word. Tess had glanced at him several times in concern but he didn't seem upset any longer, just thoughtful.  
  
"Are you okay?" She asked quietly as they both sat in the driveway, staring out the front windshield at Max's small, lonely house.  
  
"I will be. You've given me some stuff to think about," Max admitted.  
  
"Do you want me to come in?"  
  
"If you want to," Max replied. "I'm just going to sit staring at the wall." He laughed, sounding slightly bitter. "I was so sure that this was all going to finally be behind me. Like that can ever happen. Like I [I]want[/I] that to happen." He rubbed a hand wearily across his face. "God Tess. What am I going to do?"  
  
"What your heart [I]wants[/I] you to do," she replied quietly as they walked up the front path.  
  
"My heart's not the problem," Max sighed. "My heart is ready to be trampled again. It's my brain that refuses to shut off. I just can't seem to get past the fact that she came here to divorce me. And now she wants to suddenly get back together because it turns out we [I]can[/I] have kids. It's hard [I]not[/I] to feel like I'm the secondary concern to this potential baby."  
  
"But Max you [I]wanted[/I] kids with Liz. You would have had them if it wasn't for the fact that you guys didn't know that you had to be bonded."  
  
"That's not the point Tess. The point is that she never would have agreed to get back together if she hadn't found that out. [I]That's[/I] what's bothering me so much about this. What she said to me last night.I just finally recognized that it wasn't going to happen. Ever. And, then, suddenly, it [I]is[/I] possible. It's all a bit much, you know?"  
  
"I know Max," Tess said sympathetically. "But now you have to really think about this. Are you going to let that little fact stand in the way? Because you love her. She loves you. She doesn't [I]have[/I] to stay away anymore. You can be together. It doesn't [I]have[/I] to be this difficult."  
  
Max didn't reply. Tess realized that he was staring at his front door, as slight frown on his face.  
  
"Max?" Tess waved a hand in front of his face.  
  
"Tess, why is my front door open?"  
  
Tess turned her head, blinked. Max's door was indeed open. "Um.I have no idea."  
  
"It can't be a robber. Lou would have killed him," Max said, sounding suspicious.  
  
They both stood on the porch, staring at the front door. The inner door was wide open, only the screen door shut.  
  
"Isabel?" Tess asked.  
  
"I don't think so," Max replied, his eyes narrowed.  
  
An instant later Liz appeared in the doorway, a wide smile on her face. "Nope! It's me!" She exclaimed cheerfully. She was holding a dishtowel in her hands, as though she had just been in the kitchen. Lou the dog was panting at her side, gazing up at her adoringly.  
  
"I knew it," Max muttered. Tess glanced at him sharply. He sounded slightly angry, but also a little amazed.  
  
"Knew what?" Tess asked.  
  
She looked back at Liz, who was smiling serenely at Max. "I wondered how long it would take you to notice it was back." Tess frowned. Max's wife sounded minutely smug if she wasn't mistaken.  
  
"What's back?" She asked, confused.  
  
"Never mind," Max snapped. He moved past Liz and into the house, glaring at the dog as he passed. "Traitor! Don't you know she doesn't belong here?" He didn't sound extremely upset though, much to Tess's relief. He then looked at Liz again, his expression stony. "What are you doing here Liz?"  
  
"I live here now Max."  
  
"WHAT?" The roar was so sudden, Tess actually jumped. Well, so much for Max [I]not[/I] being upset.  
  
She saw Liz flinch too, but she didn't back down. She just continued to gaze innocently at Max. "We're married aren't we? Your house is my house." She narrowed her eyes. "In spite of what the Roswell Police Department might think."  
  
"Oh for." Max ran his hands through his hair in complete frustration. "I can't do this right now." He stomped past Liz and through the living room. Tess jumped again when his bedroom door slammed moments later.  
  
Tess met Liz's gaze. "What are you [I]doing[/I]?" She whispered urgently. "I got the impression from Max that he had pretty much ended things permanently. And now you're moving in?"  
  
Liz sobered. "He doesn't think he can trust me. Well, I'm going to prove he can. I'm not going anywhere until I show him that I want to be with [I]him[/I], that this isn't about some stupid prophecy."  
  
Tess shook her head, admiration running through her. "I don't think it's going to be very long Liz. He's crumbling already. And it's not all just about you either. I finally got him to at least sort of admit that he feels partially to blame for you leaving."  
  
"I knew it." Liz sighed heavily. "Thanks for the head's up though." She was grim as she continued, "I have my work cut out for me, but I love him. I'm not going anywhere. Not ever again."  
  
The determined expression on Liz's face made Tess believe her.  
  
To be continued. 


	21. Chapter 21

[u]Part 21[/u]  
  
For the ninth time in three days, Liz walked down the hall to Max's bedroom and frowned at the closed door. The tray of food she'd left there hours ago was still sitting outside his doorway, its contents untouched. For the last few days, Liz hadn't seen or talked to Max. She'd heard him padding around in his room and had heard his shower running, but he'd yet to come out.  
  
Not that she hadn't tried to persuade him to do so. Liz cooked three times a day, and never once failed to take a tray for Max, leaving at his bedroom door, hoping he'd at least open it and take the tray to have a hot meal. And three times a day, she'd come back an hour later to find the tray still there, the food cold and clammy. She persevered, however, figuring he'd have to come out eventually and, when he did, she'd make him talk to her.  
  
This time she'd gone overboard. She'd fixed his favorite meal and had even made a whole Men-In-Blackberry pie, from scratch. She'd put a white rose in a small vase and set it on the corner of his tray with a copy of the day's newspaper. She'd sat outside his door, pleading with him to open it, finally conceding to leaving the tray there for him, like she had the previous times. And just like before, she'd come back to find the tray untouched.  
  
It was making her mad. She knew it would take Max some time to warm up to her being there. She'd been fully prepared to handle him not talking to her, throwing her silent glances, or even being rude. But this was taking it overboard. He'd yet to come out of the room to acknowledge her presence at all, and even after she'd tried to make this meal extra special, he still refused to come and eat.  
  
It had been three days since she'd seen Max at all. If he didn't eat soon, he was going to be really sick.  
  
Stomping up to the doorway, Liz balled her fist and pounded three heavy knocks, then stepped back and waited for a response. After several seconds of silence, she stepped up to the door and pressed her ear against it, straining for any noise coming from the other side. Any sign to let her know Max was listening. She waited, a frown on her face, when a thought suddenly occurred to her.  
  
What if he'd passed out in there? What if he'd gotten weak from lack of sustenance, his body unable to function without some sort of nourishment?  
  
Fearing the worst, Liz raised her hand to the doorknob and concentrated, pushing the door open when she heard the click of the lock on the other side. Hesitantly, she stepped into the room, and was shocked to find it empty. Running to his bathroom door, she threw it open, half expecting to see him sprawled out across the floor. But, once again, nothing.  
  
Her heart pounding in her chest, she frantically searched the room for any sign of her missing husband. As she looked around, as she realized that this was where her husband spent his nights, she couldn't help but feel a bit awestruck at her surroundings. She'd busted into the room, fully prepared to give Max Evans a piece of her mind. However, the thought hadn't even crossed her mind that he wouldn't be in there. Now, faced with no Max, she was astounded by the fact that, even so, she could feel him all around her.  
  
Liz had been in here before of course - when she had climbed through the window to try and find the divorce papers and Kyle had ended up arresting her. But she hadn't had time to look around then. She noticed the dark gray bedspread, remembering that gray had always been his favorite color. Spanning the length of one wall was a neatly organized desk, a stereo system and several stacks of CD's, a computer work station, and several photographs of faces she recognized scattered in between.  
  
Feeling tears pricking the back of her eyelids, Liz sat down on the bed and took in the room that Max called home. Putting her hand at the head of the bed, she felt something soft and fluffy sitting there, was more than surprised when she turned to find a bright red afghan, folded neatly and sitting on top of the pillows.  
  
[i] Max held up an orange and white afghan and showed it to Liz. She shook her head in disgust, so he turned around and picked up another one, this time holding a blue and red one up for her perusal. After trying four more afghans, and not getting a vote of approval on any of them, Max picked up a bright red blanket from the shelf, unfolded it and wrapped it around his shoulders, walking to Liz and turning in a full circle, clearly impatient.  
  
"How about this one?"  
  
"Max, it's ugly!"  
  
"Liz, it's like the twentieth one I've tried! You don't like any of them, because you think they're ugly. But I can tell you this, Liz. I don't care if it's orange with green polka dots and purple stripes. It won't be ugly. It'll be perfect. You know why? Because it'll be ours. It'll be the first thing we buy, as husband and wife. In my eyes, whatever it looks like, it could not possibly be nicer."  
  
Liz smiled, unable to resist the little boy excitement in Max's twinkling eyes. She grabbed the afghan from the shelf and placed it in the cart, unaware that it would be the only thing on the bed their first night in the apartment they'd rented.[/i]  
  
Sighing softly, Liz picked up the afghan and unfolded it, laying it across her lap. Looking up towards the nightstand, she almost stopped breathing when she caught sight of the photograph sitting next to the bedside lamp. She swallowed, reached out to pick up the frame - the one that had not been there four days ago. She remembered how she had left all those pictures of the two of them scattered on his bed. He had obviously kept the one she was staring at out when he cleaned up.  
  
It was a picture of a raven haired boy, his eyes sparkling with the radiance of love, his arms tucked securely around the waist of a young girl, her long dark hair flowing gently in the wind. They were both entangled in the lacy wisps of white that had been her wedding veil.  
  
Smiling sadly, Liz stared down at it. She could only imagine what Max must have felt like, day after day, night after night, upon staring at his own wedding picture. He had been left with all the memories. She had taken nothing with her when she had gone. He had been left with the good and bad memories, but above all, the photographs reminded her of the promise of the life they'd created together. They had become a grim reminder of the future they'd never had the chance to make a reality, but, now, hopefully were an indication of what they could be again.  
  
As she fingered the edge of the small silver frame, Liz Evans knew one thing for certain. There was still hope. Max hadn't given up on her, even in the three days he'd spent holed up in his room while she lived in his home. That much was obvious by the fact that he still kept precious mementos of the life they'd shared. Because he wanted to remember. Somewhere deep down, whether he wanted to admit it or not, Max Evans wanted his life back.  
  
Pushing the afghan aside, and setting the picture back down with one last longing glance, Liz got up and walked across the room, where a flutter of movement from the flowing curtains caught her eye. She pulled them aside and peered over the edge of the windowsill.  
  
Tucked underneath the neat wood trim, reaching all the way down to the ground was a white wooden trellis, its criss-crossing bars covered with fragrant white rose blooms - the same trellis she had climbed up a few days before. Momentarily forgetting what she was doing, Liz reached out over the windowsill and gingerly fingered the petals of the nearest bloom. As she grabbed the flower, intending to pull it off the trellis, Liz suddenly remembered why she was there.  
  
As realization dawned on her, Liz's panicked sense of worry turned quickly to anger. Max had been sneaking out! For three days, she'd made him breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and he'd touched none of it. She'd been worried about him getting food, and worried that he would get ill from malnutrition, and all that time, he'd been eating elsewhere. Taking a look at the small trash can in the corner of the room, her suspicions were confirmed by the pile of crumpled up Crashdown take-out bags collected there.  
  
All this time Liz thought Max needed time to get used to her being there, that he was sitting in his room sulking, but that he'd come out eventually, still emotionally guarded, yet ready to talk. She and Max had never been able to not resolve a problem between them when they talked about it, and she'd mistakenly believed that this time was no different. But as she briefly wondered if he'd had any intention at all of ever coming out to face her, Liz knew she was wrong.  
  
This was bigger than she thought. As his words from days before at the old radio tower ran through her head, she realized that Max really was scared of her. He was terrified of her hurting him again, frightened beyond words that history would repeat itself and that falling right back into a marriage with Liz would only leave him in heartbreak. He'd even gone so far as to sneak out for food in an effort to avoid her at all costs.  
  
As every cell in her body began to tingle, Liz knew she wasn't just assuming Max's thoughts. She was feeling them, thinking them. Because she felt him. He was home.  
  
Making her way as quickly as she could to the opposite corner of the room, Liz turned around just in time to see Max's hand grab the windowsill. His dark head followed his hands over the top seconds later. Liz watched as Max effortlessly drew his body over the windowsill. He started to take his jacket off, then froze, spotting the red afghan spread out across one side of the bed. Obviously remembering he'd left it folded, Max suddenly looked straight at Liz. She gasped slightly when his eyes narrowed at her.  
  
"What are you doing here Liz?"  
  
At Max's indifferent tone, the underlying anger in his voice, Liz almost lost it. "Well, you know, Max, I came in here because I wasn't sure if you were okay. As far as I could tell, you hadn't eaten in three days. I haven't heard anything from in here all day and I got worried. I thought you could be in here passed out, or worse, from malnutrition. So what did I do? I let myself in, only to find a trash can full of takeout wrappers. Then I realized I didn't have to be angry, or worried, or scared for you, because you had other resources." The sharp tone in Liz's voice was cracking, not coming out as strong or as angry as she'd intended She'd kept up a façade for the last week, but the harder she fought for Max, and the more she was turned down, the weaker she got. She knew any minute now, she would break down and not be able to fight back at all. But if she was going down, she was sure as heck going to do it in a blaze of glory.  
  
She had Max right where she wanted him. Unprepared, and forced to talk. It was now or never.  
  
Max shrugged his shoulders. "Had to eat somewhere."  
  
"What in heaven's sake were you thinking, climbing up and down that trellis anyway? You don't know how strong that thing is! You could have fallen and gotten hurt!" Liz shrieked, deliberately ignoring the fact that she had used that exact trellis a few days before.  
  
"Yeah, well, it wouldn't be the first time falling has gotten me hurt, would it?"  
  
Liz closed her eyes, unprepared for the harsh sting of the underlying meaning in Max's words. She knew what he was doing. He was doing what he'd always done. He was hurting, and he was scared, and he was lashing out in anger to cover it up. Well, it wasn't going to work this time.  
  
"Max, I'm not leaving here until we talk about this."  
  
"We did talk about it, Liz. You talked and I said no. End of story."  
  
Liz shook her head. "I'm sorry, Max. I won't let you give up that easily. It isn't fair. What we've got between us, it's too important to just let go."  
  
Max laughed, the sound of it chilling. "Well, it didn't seem that important four years ago, when you felt you had to give it up without telling me why, did it?" Max started to move, as if to walk away, then put his finger up in the air as if he'd just remembered something. "Oh, unless, you know...this thing between us that you just can't let go, is the end of world, cause that's what matters to you, right?"  
  
Liz shook her head, searching for a way to make Max see what she was trying so desperately to say. "This isn't about the end of the world, Max. I don't give a flip if the end of the world comes right now. You know why? Because I've done my part. I've done what I'm supposed to do. And now, I'm trying to get back what I deserve. I'm trying to get back you, us, this!" she said, grabbing the picture of their wedding day off the nightstand and thrusting it in his face.  
  
"You would have made a great actress, Liz. You've almost got me convinced that the next time there's an earth shattering emergency, you won't run. You've almost got me convinced that this [i]is[/i] about being together, not about saving the world," Max said angrily, snatching the picture from Liz's grasp.  
  
Liz's first thought was that he was going to throw it to the ground, but he surprised her by gingerly setting it back on the nightstand from where she'd picked it up.  
  
Liz's throat closed up, the emotions she was trying to hold back chocking up in the back of her throat. "Max, do we have to go through this again? I don't know what I have to say to you, or what I have to do to you to make you trust me again! I'm here, Max! Right here in front of your face. I'm more sorry than anything about the mistakes made in the past. But it can't be helped. I've learned from them, Max and I know now what's important. Doesn't that matter the least bit to you?"  
  
"Sure it does, Liz. It matters more than anything. You know why? Because of the way I feel right here," he said, raw pain and emotion plastered across his face as he came to within inches of Liz's face, his hand tapping his heart heavily. "Right here, I want nothing more than to grab you and kiss you and tell you everything's going to be all right, because I love you and you love me. But right here, right here," he said, pausing to lift a finger to the side of his head to tap his temple gently, "I know that there will always be something else. You aren't the same person that left here, Liz. You have a life waiting for you back in New York. You have a career that made Elizabeth Evans a household name. And as much as I want to believe it, I can't trust my heart. Because my head knows better. Somewhere, whether it be here or New York, whether it be a career or the end of the world, there will always be a reason why you can't stay."  
  
Staring at him, seeing his eyes watery with tears of frustration and anger, Liz realized there was only one way she was going to get Max to trust her again. There was only one thing she could do to show Max once and for all that she wasn't giving up. "You're right, Max. There is a reason I can't stay. But it's not the end of the world. If the end of the world comes now, I'll know I did everything in my power to stop it. It won't be my fault if the inevitable happens now. And there [i]is[/i] my career. My design firm means everything to me. It was the one thing I had to throw myself into when I thought I'd lost everything, and I'm darn proud of the successful business it's become. But I meant what I said. Nothing, and I do mean [i]nothing[/i] is going to take me away from you or Roswell."  
  
Leaving Max behind to ponder the meaning of her words, Liz stomped out of his room, her face flushed with anger, yet the tears falling down her face were of pain, of regret, and of loss.  
  
Going down the hall to the telephone in the kitchen, Liz picked up the receiver and dialed the New York number quickly before she had a chance to change her mind. It was a last resort. Desperate times called for desperate measures. She loved her career, almost more than anything in this world. But she loved Max more. If she had to choose one of them, then there simply was no contest.  
  
Twenty minutes later Liz put the receiver down and put her head in her hands. Taking several deep breaths in order to fight back her tears did nothing. She felt her chest constrict as one heaving sob escaped.  
  
"What did you just do?"  
  
Liz jerked her head up from the table and frantically wiped her tears across her cheeks, trying to hide how much she had just devastated herself. She turned around to face Max, pulling together all the dignity she had to hold her head up high and look him in the eye. He looked absolutely dumbfounded, like he had been listening the whole time.  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"You were on the phone. With New York. What did you just do?"  
  
"I told you that you could trust me, Max, and I thought I'd done everything I could to make sure you knew I wasn't going anywhere. But there was one last thing I hadn't thought of."  
  
"Liz, what did you do?"  
  
Liz took a deep breath, not missing the suddenly horrified tone of his voice or the disbelieving look on his face. "I just put Elizabeth Evans Designs up for sale. By this time tomorrow, it will have gone to the highest bidder."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Tess sat on the stool at the end of the Crashdown counter, watching idly as Michael and Maria cleaned up after the usual dinner rush crowd. She'd had plans with Kyle for the evening, but when he'd come home, she'd been too depressed to go anywhere and had convinced him to take her to the Crashdown for a big bowl of the most fattening ice cream she could find.  
  
It had been three days since Liz had moved into Max's home uninvited. Tess thought that it wouldn't take her that long, but judging by the way Max acted when he came in, Tess wasn't sure Liz was going to break through that thick skull of his at all. She'd fully expected Max and Liz to have at least already agreed to give things another go, to try and make their marriage work again.  
  
But for the last three days, Max had been coming to the Crashdown for every meal, still ordering take out for one, and still taking it with him. He came in the front, making sure he sat in the section that didn't belong to Maria, and when Isabel was helping out, he steered clear of her section as well. Years of practice had made him an expert at determining each meal's busiest times, and he always made sure he came in during the rush so that none of his friends would have a spare minute to make their way over to him.  
  
Tess had promised herself that she wouldn't call or go to Max's house until she was sure Liz had accomplished what she'd set out to do. But Max's icy behavior combined with the fact that each and every one of them was dying to know what was going in inside the Evans household was slowly chipping away at her resolve.  
  
"Tess, c'mon! Call him! I mean, we don't even know what's going on over there! What if something's happened to Liz?" Maria exclaimed, shaking a broom in Tess's face.  
  
Tess shot Maria a look underneath her heaping spoon of double fudge ice cream and scoffed, "Maria, please, it's Max and Liz. You know as well as I do they're probably knee deep in tension and waist high in sexual frustration being that close to each other for this long. If anything's happened to her, it's nothing a few nights alone with Max post-makeup won't cure."  
  
"Yeah, well, I for one have made a decision. If I don't at least hear from Liz by tomorrow night, I'm going over there. Alien powers or not, if Max Evans hasn't accepted Liz after spending four days locked up with her, I'll wring his neck."  
  
Tess couldn't help but giggle at Serena's fierce tone. It had only taken a day, and within no time, Serena had been accepted as part of the group. Her loyalty to Liz and her determination to make sure Liz got everything she deserved had broken down any hesitancy anyone in the group held against making the girl a friend. And when she'd been accepted wholly by Isabel, it had made the rest of the group's skepticism fade without a doubt. Tonight she was helping Maria and Michael close the restaurant, being as the new parents had plans for a late night dinner and night out after work. Serena had even been given the honoured role of taking care of Eliza for the evening.  
  
"Serena, darling," Maria said, stopping in front of Tess and Serena. "Stand in line."  
  
"You guys, go easy on him. Max has been hurt. He's had his heart ripped out and stomped on by the one person he thought would never hurt him. He knows Liz loves him. He knows he loves her. He's just having a hard time convincing himself that this time, their chance at happiness is real. I don't know how long it'll take. But I know without a shadow of a doubt that Max will eventually come around."  
  
"Yeah, well, if I'm old and gray by the time it happens, and I have to see them kiss and make up while they're using walkers, [i]I'll[/i] wring his neck," Maria said.  
  
Tess giggled at her friends, amazed at the sound. It had been a long time since she'd found something funny enough to laugh at. Heck, it had been a long time since any of them had found anything funny at all. But, here they were, after hours in an empty restaurant making jokes and laughing like a bunch of schoolgirls.  
  
And it was because of one reason and one reason only. Liz Evans.  
  
Without having done anything directly, Liz had had given them all hope again. She'd come back to town, albeit with different intentions then they would have liked, and had turned their lives upside down. Now she was offering them a chance to help make things right again, to make them better than they had been before. She had put herself on the line, put her heart at risk again, in hopes of getting what truly belonged to her in the first place.  
  
Her happily ever after.  
  
Liz's joy at having realized she and Max could be together again was infectious. Only Serena and Tess had talked to her, but they had both been so overwhelmingly ecstatic at the prospect of seeing Max and Liz back together, their good spirits had rubbed off on the rest of the group.  
  
Tess almost giggled again as she watched Michael washing dishes. It wasn't that which made her want to laugh though. It was the fact that he was humming. Michael Guerin didn't hum. The fact that he was not only humming, but swaying slightly to a rhythm only he could hear in his head was definitely a sight to see. It was the little things like this that made it blatantly obvious how important Liz was to the lives of the people she'd left behind.  
  
They hadn't wanted to admit it at first, and Tess had been there to witness their rants, their anger, frustration, and eventually their heartbreak at having been deserted by the one person that had brought them all together in the first place. It had been because of Liz's intense feelings for Max and her determination to make him hers in their sophomore year that had caused the group to be thrown together time after time. It had been those forced meetings and encounters that had made them friends, that had caused them to develop deep bonds of trust and love. And it was partly for this reason that it had hurt them so much when she'd run off.  
  
Oddly enough, it was also the bonds that she'd created that had helped them through the difficult time following her abrupt departure from Roswell. Although life had gone back to being as normal as possible without Liz around, there were still everyday reminders that always put a damper on the happy lives they'd all made for themselves. But since Liz had come back, the proverbial gray cloud had been blown away and all that was left was its silver lining. Liz had left without explanation, but when she'd come back, they'd all found the answers to the questions that had plagued them since she'd left. The extra weight they'd all been forced to carry had been lifted from their shoulders in one fell swoop.  
  
Max and Liz were going to be together. It was unavoidable. They were fated to happen, destined to be. And now that it was obvious no obstacles stood in their way, their friends were all eagerly awaiting their happy reunion.  
  
Tess put her spoon down and looked at Serena inquisitively when the girl sat down on the stool next to her and turned to stare.  
  
"So. You probably know Max better than anyone. Do you really thing he's going to give in?" Serena asked, one eyebrow raised.  
  
"Let's put it this way. You probably know Liz better than anyone." Tess paused slightly as Maria walked by with a tray full of clean glasses. "Well, at least the Liz she is now anyway. Do you really think she's going to let him get away with [i]not[/i] giving in?"  
  
Tess watched as Serena pondered her question, then grinned broadly. "You're right. She won't. But tell me this, she's got her work cut out for her, am I right?"  
  
Tess nodded her head and took another bite of her ice cream. "That's probably an understatement. Max and Liz are the two most stubborn people I know. Max thinks that he loves Liz enough to not let her go, but he doesn't think he's strong enough to trust her to stay. Liz thinks she loves Max enough to make him forget the pain and heartbreak he's suffered over the past four years, but doesn't trust him enough to know that no matter how hard he tries, he'll never truly be able to get her out of his system, and that he'll eventually come around. I think they're both headed towards the same goal here, they're just taking two different paths."  
  
Tess sat back and watched with a crooked grin as Serena grabbed a spoon from the counter and dug into her bowl of ice cream.  
  
"Is anything ever easy with those two?" Serena asked.  
  
Tess shook her head and laughed. "If it was, they wouldn't be Max and Liz."  
  
Tess and Serena both spun towards the bar when Maria stopped on the other side, propping her chin up on her knuckles. "You know, I'm beginning to think we've stepped into some kind of wormhole, and I'm wondering if we'll ever make it out."  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?" Tess asked, handing Maria a spoon and pushing the bowl of ice cream towards her.  
  
"Well, first off, Happy Gilmore over there," Maria said, pointing in Michael's direction, "Is humming songs that [I]I've[/i] never even been happy enough to hum. And Isabel actually served lunch on the house to Pam Troy and Vicky Delaney. Then there's our sweet, humble, quiet Max, who's walked around with a major stick up his butt and a scowl on his face for the last three days. Not to mention the fact that Liz and Max are fighting and they've never gone this long without making up - at least not when they were in the same state. Something is wrong here."  
  
"It's [i]because[/i] Liz and Max are fighting that everyone's in such a good mood," Tess replied nonchalantly.  
  
"Oh, great, now you too?" Maria asked. "You think it's a good thing that they're fighting?"  
  
Tess rolled her eyes. "No, of course not. But it's the reason they're fighting that makes us all happier, whether we realize it or not. We all know that this fight is going to end with a reconciliation. Max and Liz are going to get back together. They're fighting right now and are extremely miserable. But that's why we're so happy!"  
  
Maria nodded and took a bite of the ice cream. Tess gave her a funny look when Maria waved the spoon in her face and narrowed her eyes.  
  
"You know," Maria said, "What you said just now sounded absolutely ridiculous and was kind of confusing. But the funny thing is, I actually understood it."  
  
Maria, Serena and Tess giggled some more and got quiet as they all ate ice cream out of the huge bowl that Tess had scooped out. They were talking and laughing again, then all jumped, surprised momentarily by the shrill ringing of Serena's cell phone.  
  
"Hello? Liz?" Serena said, flipping the phone open and pressing it to her ear.  
  
Tess and Maria watched as Serena's expression changed and she hopped off of the stool to stand up with one hand in the air.  
  
"Whoa, whoa, Casey, calm down. Calm down. Take a deep breath, and speak slower. What did Liz do?" Pause. "She what?!"  
  
Tess jumped to her feet at Serena's outburst. What was wrong with Liz? What did she do?  
  
As Tess's mind began to race with a million possibilities, the worst thought came to her. What if Liz had given up? What if she'd gone back to New York, had not stuck around to wait Max out? Or even worse, what if she'd done something to herself? The possibilities were too horrible to imagine and as she listened to Serena talk, she prayed silently that her imagination was only overacting.  
  
Tess was practically jumping out of her skin with nervousness, alternating between confused looks in Serena's direction, and worried looks shared with Maria as both girls listened to Serena's side of the conversation.  
  
"Right. When did you talk to her? And she wouldn't tell you why? She just up and called? Was everything all right, has anything happened since we've been gone?" Pause. "Well, don't do it just yet. If she calls again, tell her it's done." Pause again. Tess and Maria exchanged increasingly frustrated looks. "Right. No, you won't. She won't. I'll take full responsibility. No, Casey trust me. I know exactly what she's doing. You know what? Hold on a second."  
  
Serena covered the mouthpiece of the phone and spoke hurriedly to Tess. "Does Max have a fax machine at his house?"  
  
Tess nodded quickly and gave Serena the number, confusing her even more. She watched as Serena continued the conversation with the person on the other end of the line. "Draw up a proposal. Send it to this fax number. Send it all, but do not, and I repeat, do not make it official. No one knows about this, and whatever you do, don't contact any buyers. I'm sure, Casey. Trust me on this. Right. Okay. Okay, I'll be in touch. Bye."  
  
"What was that all about?" Maria asked, beating Tess to the punch.  
  
"He must really be getting to her," Serena said. "Because Liz is breaking out the big guns this time. That was the attorney for EE Designs. Liz just put it up for sale."  
  
"You're kidding me?!" Tess asked incredulously. "Well, what did you need the fax number for?"  
  
Serena shrugged. "Liz is obviously pulling out all the stops. I'm just sending her a little more ammunition."  
  
"I still don't understand," Maria interjected with a puzzled tone.  
  
"I do," Tess said. "Max doesn't trust Liz not to stay. The one thing she has in the world that means almost as much to her as Max is her career. She wants Max to know that she's not playing around. She just chose him over her own design firm."  
  
Tess couldn't help but smile at the possibilities this news held. There was no way in the world Max would ever let Liz give up something she'd worked so hard for because of him. Max knew how much her career meant to her and Tess knew he'd never allow her to let that go just to prove something to him, something that deep down he already knew, but was too afraid to admit.  
  
Whether she realized it or not, Liz Evans was going to be victorious. She'd just made the winning move that was bound to push Max over the edge. 


	22. Chapter 22

[u]Part 22[/u]  
  
The kitchen was so quiet, Liz could hear Lou's toenails clicking against the linoleum as he came towards her and laid his head in her lap. The dog had been lying in his basket in the corner of the room when Liz had come in to use the phone. Since Max had collapsed into one of the chairs at the kitchen table, the dog had been on his feet, staring from his master to Liz, obviously trying to decide which of them was more upset, so that he, in typical dog fashion, could comfort them.  
  
The fact that the animal had chosen her made tears well in her eyes again. She had been sitting stonily, refusing to look at Max, who had not said a word since she had told him that she was selling her company. She had not missed the absolutely shocked expression on his face though. And, yet, he had not spoken. He was just sitting there, staring at the wall.  
  
Liz placed her hand gently on Lou's head, scratched him behind the ears. What if it didn't work? What if she gave up the only other thing in her life that really meant anything and Max still told her to get lost? What on Earth would she do?  
  
She knew she was making the right choice though. He needed to know how important he was to her and this was the only way of really proving it. If he didn't cave.Well, she'd cross that bridge when she came to it.  
  
Sneaking a peek at him out of the corner of her eye, she could tell that she had gotten to him. There was no question. Now the only problem was what it meant. Was it a good sign or a bad one?  
  
Liz nearly jumped out of her skin when the phone rang behind her. Her head jerked to the right and her eyes met Max's. He was apparently back from whatever planet he had been visiting, because he reached past her and picked up the receiver.  
  
"Hello?.Oh hey Pam. Is something wrong?" His voice sounded tight to Liz's ears, like he wasn't really paying attention to the woman on the other end of the line. She watched him straighten abruptly as he listened to whatever his employee was saying. "Okay, thanks."  
  
Max hung up and then looked at Liz. "There's a fax for you at the Museum. There's been an offer for your business." He sounded tentative, unsure.  
  
Liz felt her stomach clench. Already? But she shouldn't be surprised. There had been several chains aching to get their hands on her patented designs. "Great," she chirped, trying to sound happy about it.  
  
"Liz."  
  
She got to her feet, moved to the phone again. "I'll just call my lawyer back and tell him to accept it. I don't care who it is. I just want it over with."  
  
Max grabbed her as she moved past him. "Liz, you can't do this."  
  
"Of course I can Max," Liz replied. "I'm not leaving here. There's no point in holding onto EE Designs. It'll just fall apart without someone to run it. It's best to do it quick."  
  
"Liz, that's not what I meant," Max told her. He pulled on her arm, gently forcing her to sit down again. "You can't sell your business. This is craziness."  
  
"It doesn't mean anything Max. I want to stay here." She met his eyes squarely. "I want to stay with you."  
  
Max was shaking his head. "Liz, I know how much it means to you. You [I]can't[/I] do this."  
  
Liz smiled. "I know you know Max. Just like I know how much you're suffering right now. We'll always know." She touched his face. He frowned slightly, but didn't move away from her as she half-expected him to do. "I know [I]you[/I] Max. I [I]feel[/I] you. I feel you all the time again since I let myself recognize that I can't run away anymore. I need to do this. For us. I have to stay here so that you'll trust me again."  
  
"Liz, you don't need to give up your entire career," Max insisted firmly. "I refuse to allow it."  
  
"It's my choice to make Max."  
  
He grimaced, raked his hands through his hair in frustration. She could feel his confusion, his absolute disbelief that she was really ready to give up everything she had worked for over the past four years for him. It only reinforced to her how little he truly felt like he deserved it - deserved her.  
  
The sheer irony of it was enough to make her want to laugh hysterically. It wasn't Max who should be doubting his worth after all. It was she who had doubted the importance and rightness of what they had meant to each other. He was right not to trust her. Because she had proven by her disappearance that she didn't trust him - that she hadn't trusted him to do the right thing. When she thought of all the time they had wasted, of all the time they might have spent trying to solve the problem of her inability to conceive together.it brought tears to her eyes.  
  
And, now, again, they were separated, moving apart when they should have been moving forward together, trying to regain what they had lost.  
  
Now all she could do was place all her faith - all her trust - in the fact that she truly didn't believe he was capable of throwing away all that they could be together out of bitterness and fear.  
  
"I didn't even know you were interested in fashion," Max said into the silence that had sprung up again. He sounded a little sad, like maybe he was wondering if he'd ever known her at all.  
  
"I didn't know I was either," Liz replied, tentatively sitting back down. He abruptly seemed disposed to having a civil conversation. She wasn't going to pass up the opportunity. "I sort of fell into it," she continued. "Serena worked for a designer when I met her. I got a job helping out at the studio and just started doing some drawings in my spare time. Larry - he was the designer - really liked what I was doing and he used a couple of my sketches in one of his collections. After that, he helped me go out on my own." She smiled, a little bitterly. "It was the first time since Future Tess came to visit me that I actually felt like maybe I had a future on my own." She paused, then admitted quietly, "From the moment you healed me that day.I just never really imagined a life without you. And, then, suddenly it [I]was[/I] possible."  
  
He frowned slightly, but didn't seem upset by what she had said. She knew that she couldn't lie to him about this, couldn't make him believe that all of the last four years had been bad. Because they hadn't. She had met Serena, she had met Sean and she had created a life for herself. Maybe not the life she [I]really[/I] wanted, but enough of one that she had been somewhat happy.  
  
Of course, that had been because she had refused to allow herself to think at all about what life might have been like had she stayed with Max.  
  
"I always imagined you at Harvard," Max commented. "That was always your dream."  
  
"I was really young. Kids have lots of dreams. People change with new experiences," Liz shrugged carelessly, then could have kicked herself. He had raised his eyes, was staring at her, his expression unreadable.  
  
She could almost see the wheels turning in his head as Max formed a response. Now was when he was going to say that she was right, that they had both changed too much to go back. She had just completely sabotaged herself.  
  
"They do," Max allowed. He leaned back. "What." He paused, then sighed. "Liz, I've changed too you know. How can you be sure that you'd even be interested in me now?" He motioned towards her. "I mean, look at you. You're not a small town girl anymore. Maybe we just don't fit any longer."  
  
Liz could feel her heart in her throat. She knew that how she responded now might make or break their relationship. "I know you've changed Max. But, at heart, you're still the same person." She leaned forward slightly, touched his hand where it lay on the table. "The connection we share.It goes beyond growing up or career changes or even the possible end of the world." She moved closer, could feel her breath hitching at the proximity to him. He was so warm, so exactly how she remembered, even when he was trying to be cold. Liz met his eyes. "We haven't changed that much Max," she whispered. "I'm still Liz. I'm still the same in every way that matters. I still know that you are the only person I'm meant to be with. I knew it all along, even when I thought that [I]you[/I] weren't meant to be with me. I always knew that there was no one else."  
  
Max's eyes narrowed. "What about your fiancé Liz? You came back here to divorce me. Do you really expect me to believe that you were thinking about me the whole time?"  
  
Liz sat back. She decided she had to continue to be completely honest. "Max, I was ready to marry Sean. I admit it. I wasn't thinking about you at all then. I couldn't. I had to stop. Because if I didn't, I just wouldn't have survived it." She lowered her eyes. "I feel.I feel like I betrayed what we meant to each other by getting engaged to him, but I knew deep inside that he couldn't ever touch my memory of you, of what it felt like to be your wife." She shook her head. "We were using each other, Sean and I. Me to try and stop hurting so much, him to hide from who he really was." Liz looked up again. "I'm not sure why I thought it was a good idea. Maybe it was just an excuse to have to come back here again. I don't know. I can't explain it. All I know is that it did bring me back and it made me face the fact that there just really won't ever be anyone for me but you."  
  
She felt her heart give a little thud when he actually smiled slightly at that, even if it was a little bitterly. "I don't know Liz. I'm not nearly as amenable as I used to be. And you haven't exactly [I]liked[/I] me since you've been back."  
  
"I've noticed the changes," she replied wryly. "And I may not have liked you, but I've always [I]loved[/I] you. I'm pretty sure you haven't liked me much either, but because I know you haven't really changed - not in the way that really counts - I know that you love me too. Why else would you have known exactly how to drive me insane?"  
  
He raised an eyebrow. "Maybe that's just who I am now," he suggested. "I drive Tess insane on a regular basis."  
  
Liz smiled slightly. "Well, if that's true, I want to know [I]why[/I]. I want to know who you are now. This world is different than the one that other Tess showed me. Knowing your Tess, keeping her around - letting her into your heart.It's changed you - for the better. We were both a little too focused on each other before I think."  
  
Max seemed sad when he answered, "I always thought you gave up too much to be with me - all those dreams you had. You said before that you were the selfish one. That wasn't true. I was Liz. I never should have asked you to marry me so soon."  
  
Liz laughed a little. "That's like saying I was wrong to say yes. We [I]both[/I] did it. Max, it's neither of our fault that we found each other at sixteen. I think the big mistake was that we didn't try to grow together. There was no reason that we had to just [I]stop[/I] everything because we were married."  
  
"Which is why you can't sell your business," Max said firmly. "Liz, it's part of who you are now. I won't let you give up one of the good things that has come out of this whole mess." He grimaced. "This is going to sound like a really weird comparison, but it would be like you asking me to give up Tess."  
  
"I would never do that Max." She shook her head. "I can't believe how much she's changed from that horrible girl who first came to Roswell."  
  
"So then you understand how you can't give up your company either. If we are going to try this again." Liz felt her heart start to pound more quickly. Was he really saying it? Was he really going to give her a second chance? "We can't change who we've become. And I don't think I really want to."  
  
"Are you saying." She trailed off, barely daring to breathe. "Can we? I mean, can we try and fix this?"  
  
"We can try to get to know each other again," Max allowed carefully. "I think I owe you that much at least."  
  
Her spirits deflated a bit. "Oh." He sure sounded thrilled.  
  
He flinched at what he must have perceived as her disappointment. "That didn't come out the way I meant it to," he sighed, shaking his head. "Why does this have to be so hard?"  
  
"It doesn't Max," Liz insisted. "If we love each other enough, it doesn't have to be hard." It was then that she realized that he hadn't said it. He had not admitted that he still loved her once during this conversation.  
  
But he had said it in that jail cell a few nights ago, when she had finally crumbled and had cried in his arms, when they had shared her grief for the innocent children they had been, for all they had lost. He has said very plainly that he would always love her. It had to be enough for now, had to keep her strong.  
  
Max sounded perplexed when he said, "I guess the real problem now is, I just don't know where we start."  
  
"By getting to know each other again," Liz suggested. "I mean, it's not that hard Max. We can just be like any other couple starting out."  
  
"What do you mean?" Max asked, a bit suspicious.  
  
Liz swallowed. This wasn't [I]exactly[/I] how she had hoped things would turn out. Taking things slow.She could understand Max's need to do so and, yet, it was frustrating too. Particularly as, since the connection had reopened between them, a certain part of her just really wanted to jump his bones.  
  
It didn't help that she knew that she could do it too. She knew that if she kissed him, he wouldn't resist. He was just as attracted to her as she was to him, was just as aware of her. But she wanted him emotionally with her when it happened, didn't want them to simply give into lust and then regret it later.  
  
The ties that bound them were fragile, just barely reforming. They needed to start at the beginning.  
  
And, so, she forced herself to sound cheerful when she said, "Max Evans, would you like to go out on a date with me?"  
  
He didn't reply for so long, she wondered if he was actually going to turn her down. Was even something as simple as a date going too fast? When he finally replied, his voice didn't betray what he was thinking. "On two conditions."  
  
Liz stared at him. Conditions? What could he possibly want? "Okay," she said, a bit unsure. "One?"  
  
"That we go slow," Max reminded her firmly.  
  
She hesitated for only a minute. She could do that - she thought. "Okay. And two?"  
  
Max reached past her, making her skin tingle. For one brief moment, she thought he was going to touch her. Maybe he had changed his mind! Maybe he [I]didn't[/I] want to take things slowly! She barely resisted throwing her arms around him, was glad that she did though, because she was a little embarrassed when he picked up the phone receiver and handed it to her. "Call your lawyer and tell him that you're not selling."  
  
Liz knew that the smile that broke across her face must have been blinding, but Max seemed unfazed. How he managed to maintain his self-control.It was one of the changes in him that she was going to have to work on. Not that he hadn't been controlled before, but certainly not around her. Never around her.  
  
And, yet, she refused to allow her spirits to drop. Not when she was so close. "You've got yourself a deal."  
  
***  
  
Tess flopped back on the couch in the apartment she shared with Kyle, eyed the phone. Kyle was working the night shift, so she was alone.  
  
In the past, it was right around this time of night that she'd dial Max up and invite him over for a movie or even just a blabathon. No one listened quite like Max and when he was around, she never felt lonely or bored.  
  
Not to mention, her curiosity was about killing her. She knew Liz was winning the battle of wills over there, but she was interested to know how quickly. From the evidence, it seemed that it was more rapidly than even Tess had anticipated. Serena had gotten that phone call from lawyer Casey before Tess had left the Crashdown after all.  
  
Liz had changed her mind about selling. No surprise there. Like Max ever would have allowed that. He wasn't that big an ass.  
  
Of course, Tess was interested in finding out just how long Max and Liz had argued before she'd called off the sale.  
  
She tapped her fingers against the arm of the couch. Damn her concern! Why did she have to care so much that this worked out?  
  
The question was merely rhetorical of course. She knew [I]exactly[/I] why she cared. In spite of the fact that she was aware that neither Max, nor Liz blamed her for their break up, she still blamed herself. It had been the responsibility of that horrible Future Tess after all. It [I]was[/I] her fault. And until Max and Liz were well on the road to reconciliation, she couldn't even try to forget it.  
  
Which was why she wanted to call.  
  
She had given Maria so much grief about wanting her to call Max before that she almost felt guilty that she was considering doing so right now. But not guilty enough to refrain.  
  
Tess picked up the portable receiver, dialed Max's number quickly, her fingers flying automatically over the familiar keys.  
  
Liz answered on the third ring. "Hello?"  
  
Tess blinked. She hadn't expected Liz to answer. What had she been thinking? Of course Liz might answer. She was [I]there[/I]. "Oh. Hi."  
  
"Tess, is that you?" Liz asked.  
  
"Yes."  
  
Liz sounded amused when she said, "I'm assuming you want to talk to Max."  
  
"Um."  
  
"Are you checking up on us?"  
  
"No," Tess exclaimed. "Of course not!" She paused, then decided to just admit it. "Fine, I am." She grimaced. "So, how's it going?"  
  
"Very well I think," Liz replied. "We're going on a date."  
  
"You [I]are[/I]" Tess replied. "Yaay! That's great! When?"  
  
"Right now."  
  
Tess glanced at the clock. "Liz, it's ten o'clock at night."  
  
"And?" Liz inquired. "Who cares? I've gotten him this far. Like I'm waiting."  
  
"Good point," Tess allowed. "So what are you doing? Are you going to visit all your old haunts?"  
  
"I don't think so," Liz said. "We're going with the 'new beginnings' theme. I think we're going to try and do something we've never done before."  
  
"What on Earth could you possibly do in this one horse town that you've never done before?" Tess inquired, already frantically searching her mind for a suggestion. Anything to push them forward.  
  
"Well, it's a little embarrassing," Liz said.  
  
"What is it?" Tess demanded, unable to contain her excitement any longer.  
  
"We're going bowling."  
  
Tess started. "Liz, the bowling alley is closed. And why on Earth would you want to go bowling?"  
  
"For fun Tess. I know it's a new concept for Max and I, but we're going to try it," Liz replied. "Plus, Max knows Galaxy Lanes' owner from the Roswell Chamber of Commerce. He's called in a favor."  
  
"Max called in a favor to bowl," Tess stated, knowing she sounded disbelieving. She grinned. "Liz, maybe you better take him back to New York. You two clearly need a bigger pool of options."  
  
"I think I like Roswell's options just fine," Liz said. Tess could hear the smile in her voice.  
  
"Well, have fun," Tess said. She paused, then went for broke. "Um, you could call me when you get back. Tell me how it went."  
  
There was a long silence and then Liz replied, "I'd like that Tess. Thanks."  
  
"Well, whatever," Tess said in a rush, embarrassed. "I mean, I know you have other people to call. But you can call me too. If you want to, I mean."  
  
"I do. Thanks. Do you still want to talk to Max? He's in the shower. I can get him to call you back."  
  
"No, it's okay," Tess said, feeling a little pang. As much as she wanted Max and Liz back together, the intimacy of Liz's comment reminded her that soon she wasn't going to be the number one woman in Max's life anymore. It was going to take some adjustment.  
  
"Okay. Bye Tess."  
  
"See ya Liz. Have fun."  
  
Tess rang off and then stared at the phone for a long moment. She was pleased that things were going so well and, yet, mildly unsettled. It was the first time that she had truly realized that her relationship with Max was going to change forever.  
  
It wasn't that she wasn't happy for him. She was. Of course she was. She was just kind of sad for herself. It was going to be hard to let go. She knew she wasn't losing him, but it still kind of felt that way. Like how she had hesitated about calling him earlier. Three days ago, she would have picked up the phone without a second thought.  
  
Tess shook her head firmly. What was wrong with her? She had no right to feel this way. He was still going to be her friend. Things might change, but she would never lose him. In fact, she was going to have a [I]new[/I] friend in Liz.  
  
And, yet, she allowed herself to still be a bit upset when she went to bed a few minutes later. She knew it would pass, but change was always hard, even when it was for the best.  
  
Tomorrow she would go right back to being ecstatic that her best friend was going to get his heart's desire. That he was about ready to stop being a stubborn mule and take what he deserved.  
  
But, for now, she was going to allow herself to miss him. Just a little bit.  
  
***  
  
"I think there's a reason we've never bowled before Liz," Max said as he backed away from the alley and stared at the pins, his chagrin obvious. They were all still standing firmly in the distance. "I suck."  
  
Liz giggled as she marked a big fat zero in the little box beside his name. "Oh who cares? It's fun to throw really heavy balls as hard as you can. Plus, you suck at pool too and that never stopped us."  
  
When she looked up, Max was glaring at her, although his eyes were twinkling. "You are taking far too much pleasure in rubbing my nose in this," he complained as he sat down beside her. He reached out to take the pencil from her hand. She felt a tingle run up her arm as their fingers brushed against each other. The contact ended far too soon though.  
  
She sighed as she got to her feet to take her turn. She could feel his eyes following her, making her heart thump more quickly in her chest. She sighed again as she watched her ball roll down the alley and take down a few pins. She wished she could do what she really wanted to do. She wished she could just turn around right now and throw herself into his arms.  
  
It was going well. Almost [I]too[/I] well. They had been laughing, having fun. And, yet, Liz couldn't help but wonder if perhaps they were both trying a little too hard. They were trying to pretend that there wasn't a mountain of history between them, that they didn't have anything serious to talk about, but there was and they [I]did[/I] and all she really wanted to do was talk about it.  
  
As the night progressed, she simply became more antsy, rather than less. And Max, while obviously enjoying himself, was refusing to talk about anything more serious than his pathetic bowling technique.  
  
She had a feeling that it was why he had suggested the activity in the first place. Earlier she had been just as agape as Tess had sounded on the phone, but she had agreed, thrilled that he wanted to spend any time with her at all. And they would be alone after all. The alley was closed and the owner had agreed to lend Max his keys after her husband had offered to allow the owner's daughter to have her birthday party at the UFO Center for free.  
  
It hadn't dawned on her when she'd accepted that bowling meant they were going to spend most of their time ten feet away from each other, not being able to talk except by yelling because of the smashing pins and the racket the balls made.  
  
Not that Max was smashing many pins, but he sure was making a lot of noise. Just none of it was directed at her in the form of conversation.  
  
How were they supposed to get to know each other again if they didn't speak?  
  
"Good one," Max told her as she came back to join him. He sounded suspicious. "Are you sure you're not using your powers? I mean, really. Where did you learn to bowl like this? Certainly not in the world of high fashion in New York."  
  
"Just talented I guess," Liz joked, trying to keep her tone light, although it was becoming more of a struggle as the evening wore on. She glanced behind her meaningfully. "I mean, I've always kicked your ass Evans. It's not like it's anything new."  
  
Max followed her gaze, took in the pool table she was indicating. His expression darkened slightly. "I beat you the other night," he reminded her quietly.  
  
Liz frowned. "You did," she admitted. She looked down. "I sort of didn't live up to my end of the bargain, did I? I was supposed to tell you the truth about why I left."  
  
Max didn't answer. He just moved behind the bench gracing the alley and towards the pool table. She followed him, wondering what he was doing. He lined up the balls sitting on the table, picked up a pool cue and started idly shooting. "I guess you didn't," he finally said. "But that's okay. I understand why now."  
  
"Yeah," Liz replied uncertainly. He seemed more amenable to actually having a serious conversation, so she asked quickly, "Are you scared?"  
  
Max looked up, quirked an eyebrow at her. "Of what?"  
  
"Of the end of the world," she elaborated.  
  
He straightened, placing the cue on the floor in front of him and leaning on it slightly. "Are you?"  
  
"Yes," Liz admitted. "Max, I saw it." She rushed on. "You said a couple of days ago that you couldn't ever be sure that I wanted to get back together for [I]us[/I] or just so I'd have the kid that could stop it."  
  
Max was quiet for a moment, eyeing her, his expression unreadable. "I did say that," he finally agreed. "But I'm not really convinced about it anyway."  
  
"You're not?" Liz asked, surprised. "Max, I [I]saw[/I] it. It's going to happen. We're going to be stronger because your four square is all together, but the prophecy says that we need our child."  
  
Max scratched his neck, shrugged. "I don't believe in destiny Liz. You know that. I can't believe in that book and what it says is going to happen because any little difference in any event could change that future. We've probably already changed it. Destiny can't be written down anywhere. You have to make your own." He met her eyes squarely. "If I ever choose to have a child with you, it's not going to be about saving the planet. It's going to be about the fact that I love you and that I want to share the joy of bringing a new life into this world with you."  
  
Liz felt a lump rise in her throat. "You just said you love me," she whispered.  
  
"Of course I love you Liz," Max replied, sounding surprised. "That was never in question. I've loved you since the minute I set eyes on you when I was a kid. What is in question is whether I can ever convince you that we have to [I]choose[/I] to be together. I can't get back together with you just because of something that [I]might[/I] happen and I won't bring a child into this world with all those expectations on his or her head. I know what it feels like to have a destiny thrust upon you that you don't want. I just [I]won't[/I] do that."  
  
"But Max, I [I]do[/I] choose you," Liz told him. "I want you so much. Even if we [I]never[/I] have a child, I still want to be with you."  
  
He sighed, looked away. She could see that he was still unconvinced. How could she make him see that he was not a means to an end for her - that he [I]was[/I] the end. And the beginning. He was [I]everything[/I].  
  
Liz pressed her lips together. There was only one way. Now that the connection was open between them again, now that she wasn't suppressing it, she had to make him see her. He had to really [I]see[/I] into her soul, not just listen to her words.  
  
But if she did what she knew she had to do, she was going against his wish to go slow. It had only been a few hours after all. Couldn't she wait a while longer, let him work through his demons?  
  
As she stared at him though, she knew that she couldn't. They just could not go slowly. If she didn't show him exactly what he meant to her, how he [I]was[/I] her very soul, he wouldn't be able to ever let those very same demons go. Because his demons were his inability to trust that she wouldn't leave him again and that he had always wondered if he was worthy of her.  
  
It had been so long. He had forgotten what it was like, had forgotten what they were together when they opened up completely.  
  
Max was watching her, a slightly suspicious expression on his face. "What are you thinking?" He asked.  
  
"I'm thinking that you're going to be really mad at me in a minute," Liz replied, moving towards him with more assurance than she felt. He blinked, backed away, but didn't have far to go because the pool table was right behind him.  
  
"Liz, what are you doing?" Max asked, his panic evident.  
  
"The only thing I can think of to get us past this wall," Liz replied firmly. She was standing only inches from him now. For a brief moment she wondered if he might actually jump up on the table and scamper away from her, but he narrowed his eyes instead.  
  
"I thought we were going to take this slow," he complained weakly. She saw him swallow convulsively, could feel his heart racing as she placed one hand firmly on his toned chest.  
  
"Max, is that [I]really[/I] what you want?" Liz breathed. She snaked her other arm up and around his neck, so he was forced to lower his head.  
  
"I don't know," he admitted, his voice husky. "I'm not really thinking very clearly at the moment."  
  
"And why is that?" Liz murmured, her lips barely a breath away from his.  
  
He didn't answer. She decided to take advantage of his silence. Raising herself on her tip-toes, she firmly pressed her mouth to his.  
  
The instant they connected physically, she felt desire shoot through her veins. Her entire body was on fire. It wasn't the first time he had kissed her since she'd been back, but it [I]was[/I] the first time she had allowed herself to enjoy it.  
  
Not that he was entirely participating at the moment. But she could feel him weakening. She was completely open to him, allowing their otherworldly bond to tease him, just as it had tortured her since the day he had healed her.  
  
[I]Bend Max. Give in! You want this as much as I do.[/I] She pleaded with him in her mind, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him closer.  
  
And, almost as if he actually heard her, he did. She felt her heart quite simply melt when his lips softened and he actually started to participate in the kiss.  
  
[I]See me Max. Know how much I love you. Please![/I]  
  
It was then, and only then, that she opened herself to him completely, knowing that this might very well be her last chance.  
  
To be continued. 


	23. Chapter 23

[u]Part 23[/u]  
  
Unable to sleep, Tess got up out of bed and went to the living room. She pulled a quilt over her legs and turned on the TV. She'd lain in bed for almost half an hour, tossing and turning, in a vain attempt to get to sleep. But her brain refused to let her do anything but dwell on the fact that was already missing Max. Her earlier realization that she'd no longer be the first woman in Max's life had left her depressed. She'd always thought that being depressed was supposed to make you feel tired. But that had never been the case for her. She thought that maybe she could find a sappy love story that would remind her she should be happy that he'd reconciled with Liz. Tess frowned as she flipped through the channels on the TV.  
  
[i]Splendor in the Grass[/i]  
  
[i]Casablanca[/i]  
  
[i]Romeo and Juliet[/i]  
  
As she hit the power button and threw the remote to the opposite end of the couch she wondered if they ever showed movies with happy endings. It seemed the only thing she ever watched on TV were movies where the boy [i]didn't[/i] get the girl. The kind of movies where no one ended up happily ever after.  
  
Maybe she should turn on the radio. She'd recently discovered that music offered a reprieve from the hassles of everyday life. She would often turn on the radio when she was bored and, in no time, would find herself singing with the words or bouncing along to the beat. She got up and grabbed the stereo remote and turned it on.  
  
[i]Don' tell my heart, my achy breaky heart, I just don't think you'd understand[/i]  
  
Flipping the channel in disgust, she made a mental note to make Kyle steer clear of country music.  
  
[i]Un break my heart, say you'll love me again, undo this hurt you caused when you walked out the door and walked out of my life.[/i]  
  
Huffing impatiently, Tess flipped the stereo off and hurled the remote across the room before she realized what she'd done. She heaved a sigh of relief when it landed safely in the soft dirt of the potted plant beside the entertainment center. It would be an even uglier night if Kyle came home and found one of his precious 'clickers' out of service because there had been nothing on the radio.  
  
Tess looked around the room hoping she could find something that would help her pass the time until he got home.  
  
Right now, she needed something that would cheer her up, not something that would bring her down. She was already down. Oddly enough, it was because for once, the boy [i]had[/i] gotten the girl.  
  
Groaning, Tess turned her head to sneak a peek at the clock hanging above the front door. What a time to be bored! Kyle's shift wouldn't be over for a couple more hours. Maria closed tonight, and Michael worked the grill, so it would be at least an hour before they'd be free to do anything. Max was definitely out of the question. That only left Isabel.  
  
Picking up the phone, Tess dialed the number to Alex's house. Isabel was in the process of moving her things, and her phone had already been cut off. It was, after all, less than a month away from their wedding day. The only way to reach Isabel was at Alex's, where she spent most of her time anyway.  
  
Tess waited through five rings, and all but felt her eyes tear up when Alex's voicemail picked up. She listened to the greeting, then spoke into the receiver.  
  
"Isabel? Alex? You guys, if you're there, please pick up. Well, I guess no one's home. I just.I really need a friend right now. Isabel, when you get this message, give me a call. Please? I need to talk to someone. It's kinda about Max. But anyway. Umm.okay. I guess I'll talk to you later."  
  
Tess hung up the phone and crossed her arms impatiently. This wasn't fair! She was depressed, and sad, and lonely, and there wasn't anyone to share her misery with. Where were her friends when she needed them?  
  
She sighed and lay down on the couch, resigned to stare at the water flowing across the rocks of the relaxation fountain Maria had gotten her for Christmas last year.  
  
Twenty minutes later, Tess was still wide awake, and staring at the small trickle of water cascading down the fountain's rocks. She was startled by a light knock on the door. Raising up slightly, she listened again, just to make sure she hadn't imagined it. Seconds later, she heard another knock.  
  
"Tess, c'mon. It's Alex. I know you're in there. You just called my house!"  
  
Tess threw her quilt aside and trudged over to the door. She opened it, and was surprised to see Alex on her doorstep, a carton of Chunky Monkey ice cream in one hand, two spoons and a bottle of Tabasco in the other.  
  
"What are you doing?" Tess asked, surprised.  
  
"I heard your message just as I got in the door, but I didn't get to the phone in time. Isabel's spending the night with her mom, and she won't be home until tomorrow. So here I am!" he said with a wide grin.  
  
"Here you are for what?" Tess asked.  
  
Alex rolled his eyes. "Duh, Tess! That message sounded like you were in dire need of someone to be miserable with. I'm offering my services."  
  
In spite her melancholy mood, Tess smiled at Alex's pretend hang-dog expression and she stepped aside. Alex walked past her and to the couch. He sat down, took the lid off the ice cream and held out a spoon and the bottle of Tabasco in Tess's direction.  
  
"Now this stuff is absolutely horrible," Alex said. "So you take a bite, and sprinkle it on your spoon. If you put that nasty mess in my ice cream, I'm taking my toys and going home."  
  
Tess giggled when Alex wiggled his eyebrows. She closed the door and plopped down on the couch next to Alex. She grabbed a spoon and dug in.  
  
"So how'd you know what I needed?" Tess asked, her mouth full of ice cream.  
  
"Puh-lease!" Alex said. "I lived my formative years in either Maria's bedroom or on Liz's balcony. I know more about girl problems than I'd like to. So spill, girlfriend. What's got you so upset?"  
  
Tess shook her head. "You're going to laugh at me."  
  
"Tess," Alex said, setting the carton of ice cream between them to put his free hand on Tess's shoulder. "If I didn't laugh at Maria when she made me and Liz give eulogies at the funeral for her favorite pair of knee high boots when we were fifteen, I'm not going to laugh at anything you can tell me."  
  
Tess stared at Alex incredulously. "She made you do that?"  
  
Alex shook his head. "The story of Boots' funeral is for a different night. Tonight, it's all about you. Talk."  
  
Tess hesitated, then took a deep breath. She'd really wanted a girl, but she supposed Alex would do. After all, he was right. He was the next best thing to a girl friend a girl could have.  
  
"I talked to Liz earlier."  
  
Alex's brows furrowed in confusion. "But I thought you guys were getting along? At least Isabel seems to think so."  
  
Tess took another bite of ice cream, doused it with Tabasco, and put it in her mouth. "We are," she said after she'd swallowed her bite. "It's not that. She was with Max."  
  
Alex put down his spoon and nodded in realization. "I see what's happening here. You're jealous of Liz."  
  
"I'm not jealous of Liz, Alex. I do [i]not[/i] love Max like that."  
  
"No, no, no," Alex said, waving his hand. "That's not what I meant. You're jealous of Liz because now she's going to be taking your place in Max's life, right? You've come first for Max these past four years. I know how close you two are. You're upset because now you're afraid you won't be important to him."  
  
Tess's jaw all but dropped open. This was scary. Just a minute ago Alex had admitted that he knew more about girl problems than he'd like. Now he was thinking like one too. How did he do that?  
  
Tess narrowed her eyes. "Are you sure you're not an alien? I could swear you just read my mind."  
  
Alex laughed and shook his head. "I'm not an alien. I'm a former 'first man' in the lives of two of Roswell's own. I know exactly how you feel."  
  
Tess eyes widened. "You mean, Maria and Liz?"  
  
Alex nodded and clicked his teeth. "Yep. I've been where you are Tess. And I'm not going to lie to you. It's gonna hurt for a while. Actually, it was worse for me because they were all secretive about it at first. At least you'll know what's going on with Max. For me, I just felt like I was being unceremoniously dumped for two guys I'd never even known my girls were interested in. But once you realize that you'll always be important to Max, you'll be happy that he's happy."  
  
"So did you get depressed too?"  
  
"Depressed is an understatement. I lost my status in Liz and Maria's life at the same time. I had to deal with double the depression. This little baby right here," he said, picking up the carton of ice cream. "This baby ain't got nothing on the tubs of ice cream I put away back then. I'm surprised I was able to keep my girlish figure."  
  
Tess smirked when Alex put his hands at his waist as if to measure its size. "Alex, stop saying things like that. I'm beginning to worry."  
  
"Right." Alex said. He took his hands from his waist and put them in his lap.  
  
"I can't believe I'm thinking this way! Why am I not happy? I helped them find a way back together for crying out loud!" Tess exclaimed.  
  
Alex leaned back and put his hands behind his head. "It's perfectly normal, Tess, the way you feel. Max is your best friend. You are number one in his life, the one he calls when he needs something, the one he comes to when he needs to talk, the one he depends on when he needs a shoulder. You're afraid that he won't need you anymore."  
  
"But I don't get it!" Tess exclaimed. "I've got Kyle. Why do I feel jealous that Max has Liz?"  
  
"It's not jealousy as such, Tess. It's just..well, it's hard to explain. But look, you are Max's best friend. You and Max have something special, that not even what he has with Liz will threaten. You two have something that not even Max and Liz have. It's a friendship that special to both of you. That's not going to change. Max is in love with Liz. He always has been. That hasn't [I]ever[/I] changed, even when she wasn't around. But he loves you too, Tess. Just because he's got her back doesn't mean he won't need a best friend. He'll always need you."  
  
"Are you sure?" Tess asked uncertainly.  
  
"Positive. Take it from experience. Just because your best friends fall in love and get married doesn't mean they stop needing you. Who do you think Maria comes to when she's upset?" He grinned. "Particularly at Spaceboy?"  
  
Tess smiled and leaned across the couch to hug Alex. "Thanks Alex."  
  
"Anytime. I was in your spot once too. Trust me. This little thing you're going through? It's not going to last."  
  
Tess talked with Alex a few more minutes, then got up and walked him to the door. She hugged him goodbye and pulled away just as she saw Kyle pull up in the driveway. She watched as Alex stopped to speak to Kyle. When Kyle stepped up on the front porch, Tess gave him a quick kiss on the lips then turned as he followed her inside.  
  
"So, me and Isabel are otherwise occupied, and you and Alex do a little bonding?" He shook his head mournfully. "Are you having an affair?"  
  
Tess giggled. "I needed a friend. He was the only person home."  
  
"What's wrong?" Kyle asked. He pulled his deputy's hat off his head and hung it over the living room chair, then sat down in it and pulled Tess onto his lap. "Everything okay?"  
  
"Yeah. I was just feeling a little depressed, you know?"  
  
"What about?"  
  
Tess took a deep breath. "Okay. Don't get angry. But I was just kind of sad. Max and Liz are together tonight, and I think they've reconciled. Max is going to have Liz back now. I got a little upset that I wouldn't be the only woman in his life anymore." She looked at him closely, a little worried. "Does that make you mad?"  
  
Kyle gave Tess a puzzled look. "Why would that make me mad?"  
  
"You're not jealous?" Tess asked, surprised.  
  
"Of Max Evans?" Kyle threw his head back and laughed so hard that Tess smacked his shoulder.  
  
"Kyle!"  
  
"Tess, tell me you're joking. I wouldn't be jealous of Max Evans if I came in and saw you two curled up on the couch together. The only person Max has ever wanted to be with is Liz."  
  
"You...I can't believe you aren't jealous!"  
  
"Max is your best friend. I could never be jealous of that."  
  
Tess looked at Kyle and realized he was right. He had nothing about which to be jealous. Max [i]was[/i] her best friend. And she was his. And she knew right then and there that Alex was right. That's how it would always be. Liz would be his wife. But she would be his friend.  
  
"I love you , Kyle."  
  
"And I love you," he said, kissing her softly. "As much as I'd like to sit her and chat, though, I'm beat. I need a shower."  
  
Tess got up and watched as Kyle walked to the back of the apartment towards the bathroom.  
  
She sat down on the couch and pulled the quilt over her legs, a smile on her face. She'd talked to Alex, then with Kyle, and she'd come to realize that her place in Max's life was safe, despite the fact that there was another woman sharing him now. With a triumphant smile, Tess grabbed the remote and turned on the TV, knowing that her mood couldn't be dampened now.  
  
And it wasn't. Not even when she settled in to watch the end of Casablanca and ended up bawling all over the rest of Alex's ice cream.  
  
***  
  
[i] "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair."[/i]  
  
[I]Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities[/I]  
  
Liz's senses were on overload. There simply was no other way to put it. Even as she felt Max's arms wrap tentatively around her waist, everything about her surroundings registered in her mind. She could hear the dull hum of the ball return from the lane they had been using, she could smell the musty old cigarette smoke, could feel the wear and tear in the uneven soles of the bowling shoes she was wearing. Subconsciously, without even realizing it, she was committing everything about this moment to memory.  
  
The heat from Max's arms was practically burn through the fabric of her shirt in a deliciously sweet wave of feeling, Liz poured every inch of energy she had that wasn't focused on just kissing Max into opening up the deepest parts of herself.  
  
Reaching into parts of her soul that had been closed off four the last four years, she pleaded silently with Max to recognize what it was he was seeing.  
  
In the barrage of images she knew Max was experiencing, Liz wanted him to not only see who she'd become just in the past few days since returning to Roswell, but also the person she had always been. She wanted Max to see past the 23 year old woman that stood with her lips pressed to his. She wanted him to see past the famous fashion designer, past the New York press conferences and business meetings. She wanted him to see to the very center of her soul. The deepest and most cherished part of her.  
  
More than anything, Liz wanted Max to see who she really was. The person she'd always be deep down, underneath everything. The person who, despite the years of separation, had always remained faithful and loyal. Liz wanted Max to see Liz Parker, the girl who had fallen in love with the boy she saw staring back at her after being within moments of her death. The girl who'd given her heart and soul to him and to him alone, with complete abandon. Without reservation. Without question. She'd put her faith in him years ago, even as she lay on a cold linoleum floor, and she was doing it once more. She'd chosen him years ago, and she was choosing him again. She was putting every ounce of her trust and hope in the hands of the man she'd always love, praying that he would push aside his doubts and overcome his fears and see how truly and deeply the woman he'd married loved him.  
  
Maybe, just maybe, if Max saw the girl he'd fallen in love, he'd realized that she wasn't gone. She'd been lost, and it was only now, when she was with him, that she felt truly found.  
  
Angling her head for better access, Liz almost moaned when Max tangled one hand in her hair, leaving the other one wrapped firmly around her waist. She could feel his labored breathing, could tell how erratically his heart was beating. When she heard his pleading whimpers, Liz felt like jumping for joy, but couldn't bring herself to break the kiss.  
  
Then, with no warning at all, she felt him. He was opening up to her as much as she was to him. She felt him inching his way into her senses, permeating through to the very depths of her soul. This was [i]Max.[/i] A fleeting thought passed through her mind as Liz wondered how she'd ever spent four years away from this, from the sense of having the person who owns your heart and soul so wrapped up in you that it's hard to tell him from yourself. The sensation of being so deeply and passionately connected with your soul mate that it's impossible to decipher one person from the other. She had been kidding herself to believe for one moment, even to save the world, that she'd be able to live the rest of her life without this.  
  
Suddenly, without warning, Max pulled his lips away from hers. Liz's eyes flew open, and she searched Max's face for a reaction. What she saw scared her to death, even as it made her heart leap with excitement. Max's face registered a slight panic, his features flushed and, yet, his eyes were glowing.  
  
This was her moment of truth. A knot began to form in Liz's stomach as she realized this could go one of two ways.  
  
What was Max's decision? Was this his retreat? He could back away from her, knowing that he'd withstood her advances. He could withdraw from the battle that they'd been fighting, believing himself victorious for being able to resist Liz's pleas for a second chance. Or was this his surrender? Perhaps he was throwing up the white flag in defeat. Maybe he was giving in to her, just as unable to live without her as she was to live without him.  
  
Reaching up to cup his cheek with her hand, Liz jumped slightly when Max closed his eyes and leaned forward, resting his forehead against hers. Taking a deep breath, Liz's lungs almost burst with the fresh air. How long had it been since she'd taken a breath anyway? She knew their kiss had lasted seconds, most likely even minutes, but she couldn't remember breaking in the middle of it to breathe.  
  
She almost giggled at the thought of dying from suffocation while kissing Max, when she heard his sharp intake of breath.  
  
"Max?" Liz asked hesitantly.  
  
"I'm here," was the vague reply.  
  
"Are you mad?"  
  
Liz's eyes were open, and she was staring at Max's eyelids. He opened his eyes so suddenly that she jumped, startled by his intense gaze staring back at her.  
  
"Furious," he replied.  
  
"Did it work, Max? Did you see? Can you believe me now? Do you trust me that it's you-"  
  
Liz's question was cut short by a soft tender kiss from Max. "I think, deep down, I always did believe you, Liz. But I was scared to death to admit it."  
  
Liz's brow burrowed in confusion as Max pulled his face away and smiled.  
  
"I'm yours, Liz. I've been yours since before I even knew what love really was. And that scares the crap out of me. When you left, a part of me died. You took my heart, my soul, every emotion I'd ever felt, you took it with you. The desolation that was left is something I pray that you never have to experience."  
  
"Max," Liz said with a shaky voice, knowing it was true, having [I]felt[/I] it only moments before. Her guilt crashed down on her in a wave so intense, her knees weakened and she felt herself falling.  
  
"Don't," he said, pulling his hand from her hair to place a silencing finger on her lips. Liz was amazed, and humbled beyond words at the gentleness of his gesture, even as he was unceremoniously telling her to be quiet. Because, not only that, he was holding [I]her[/I] up. Just as he always had, deep inside, even when she was trying to pretend that he no longer existed. "I need to say this."  
  
Liz nodded her head as Max pulled his hand away. He leaned back against the pool table, pulling Liz flush against him, and rested his hand on her waist. "It killed me, Liz. Everyday you were gone was a little more of me that died. You left nothing behind. There was a gaping hole where my heart was, and a bottomless pit where my soul had been. But the thing that scares me to death, the one realization that almost brings me to me knees, is that fact that I'd do it again. I'd live through it again just to have that moment when you showed up on my door-step again. The minute I first saw your face, I started to succumb, and I knew I wasn't strong enough to resist you. And, deep down, I didn't ever want to. There was a reason I never signed those divorce papers after all. But I remember, with every fiber in my being, what it was like for me when you left. And the fact that I'm not strong enough to resist you, at the risk of going through that again, is horrifying."  
  
"Well then, our experiences weren't as different as you think they were, Max. When I left here, I had nothing of myself to take with me. Every ounce of who I was, every feeling I'd ever felt, I left lying on the doorstep of our apartment when I walked out of it's squeaky door for the last time." Max smiled wryly, and Liz brought her hand up to toy with the button on the collar of his shirt. "I felt nothing. I couldn't smile, I couldn't feel, I couldn't even cry. Because I'd left everything in me capable of feeling emotion right here in Roswell. Right here with [i]you[/i]."  
  
"So I had you and you had me. If we'd only gotten together, we could have done some damage control, huh?"  
  
Liz felt a stab to her heart at Max's half hearted attempt at humor. He was right. They'd both been walking around, each of them halves of a whole. It would have been easier for both of them. But there was a reason they'd stayed apart. A reason Liz had refused to return back for the other part of herself.  
  
"If only it were that easy," Liz said softly.  
  
"Why does it always have to be like this with us?" Max asked. "Why does there always have to be a 'but' or an 'if'? Why can't it ever just be because I love you and you love me?"  
  
The corners of Liz's mouth turned up in a soft smile. "Tess could answer that one. It's because you're Max and I'm Liz. What we have is so much more than love, Max. What we have is more than anyone in this world, or any other, for that matter, has ever had the chance to experience. With us, simplicity isn't part of the package." Liz's heart flip flopped as Max nodded in understanding. When he turned his head to the side to stare at the floor next to them, Liz cupped his chin and turned him back to face her. "But I wouldn't have it any other way, Max. I'll take you how I can get you. All the 'but's' and 'if's' included."  
  
Max nodded firmly. "Me too. Because it's all worth it Liz. [I]You're[/I] worth it." He kissed her again. Liz felt tears spring to her eyes at the sweetness of it. It was as though he was pledging himself to her anew, even though she knew inherently that he had never broken a single vow to her.  
  
Not like she had. Liz lowered her gaze, sighed. She felt Max stiffen under her as he sensed her change in mood. "What's wrong?"  
  
"I." She trailed off, a lump in her throat. She clenched her jaw. She had to say this to him, owed him this. "I want to say that I'm sorry Max. I'm sorry that I wasn't as faithful to you as you were to me."  
  
"You mean Sean?" Max asked.  
  
"Yes." Liz leaned her forehead against his chest, sighed again. "I.I got engaged to someone else. How could I have ever done that?"  
  
She felt Max's hands stroking down her back, trying to comfort her. Trust Max. Was it any wonder that she loved him so much?  
  
"We both did what we had to do Liz," he finally said quietly. "You could have just as easily misinterpreted how close Tess and I are. I know that he was really only a friend to you."  
  
"But I said [I]yes[/I] Max," Liz reminded him. "I would have married him to."  
  
"No you wouldn't have," Max said, his certainty making her look up at him in surprise. "Saying yes to Sean was what it took to get you back here. You never would have let yourself come any other way and I think you knew it deep down. You had to have a reason to come back to Roswell that wasn't just about me. And he gave it to you."  
  
"It's always been about you Max," Liz replied. "Even when I didn't know it."  
  
"I know." He pulled her close again. She allowed herself to relax, breathed in his scent, closed her eyes and just enjoyed the moment.  
  
After another long moment, she felt Max shift beneath her. "So, what do we do now?" He asked quietly. "Do we have a baby?"  
  
Liz shook her head. "Max, I want to have your children. I want to get sick every morning, and I want to have weird cravings, and I want to hear you complain when I send you to the convenience store at three in the morning for pigs feet and chocolate milk. But we've lost so much time. Right now, I just want to be with you."  
  
"This is going to take some getting used to. Yesterday I had every intention of sending you back to New York. I'm going to have to get used to the idea that you're here to stay." As soon as the words had left his mouth, Max turned to Liz with panic in his eyes. "Liz, how is this going to work? You can't give up your company. But I can't let you leave me again. I can't."  
  
Liz shrugged her shoulders. "We'll find a way, Max."  
  
"I'll come to New York with you."  
  
Liz shook her head. "No, Max. You won't let me sell my company, and I won't let you sell the UFO Center. You love that place, ironically enough. You have a life here. I have a life there. But you and I, we have a life together. Maybe we can split our time. You know, spend a few months here, and a few months there?"  
  
"That could get expensive, Liz. We'd have to have two places to live, two sets of bills, cars here and cars there. That's a lot to take on."  
  
"I've got the money for it, Max. That doesn't matter. But, you know, there is one more option. I've been looking to expand. We've been checking into places to put up a second location. Serena's already looked at the building where the soap factory used to be, and she thinks it's perfect. What if I build right here in Roswell? What would you think? New Mexico has the new Mecca of high fashion?" She smiled slightly at the thought of it. She knew she could do it though. With Serena and her friends - and with Max - she could do anything.  
  
Max's face lit up. "You mean, you could stay here?"  
  
Liz nodded and smiled at Max's exuberance. "That answers my question. I'll call New York tomorrow. I figure I can keep the corporate offices there, and Serena can run them. I.no, [i]we[/i] can go up there twice a year maybe, to check in, during the shows. I'll design here, run the company from here. It's the perfect solution."  
  
Max sighed. "So, we're really gonna do this? Me and you? We're going to try again."  
  
"There's no trying about it, Max Evans," Liz sad as she leaned in to Max's lips. "This time, we've got it."  
  
If it wasn't for the fact that seconds later, Max's lips were on hers, Liz would have smiled. She'd done it. She'd broken down the wall that she herself had erected when she'd walked out on him. Max was hers and she was his. And despite the fact that they'd been apart, that was how it had always been.  
  
There was so much left to say. So much left to do. She wanted to tell him about the destiny book, about the missing page, and every exact word she'd read. She wanted to tell him that she wanted to perform the bonding ceremony. She wanted to tell him that she wanted to have his child, not because she wanted to save the world, but simply because a child was the ultimate proclamation of love between two devoted souls. She didn't care that the child would save the world, though in some part of her mind she was aware of it. She just wanted a baby so that she could prove to the world that she and Max loved each another enough to create a new life that would be a part of each of them.  
  
But those things could wait. They were going to be together. There was no need to rush things.  
  
Right now, in this moment, it wasn't about Liz Evans, wife to the King of Antar, chosen to have the prophesied child that would save the world. It wasn't about destiny, or far off planets, or the end of the world. Right now was about Liz Evans, wife to Max, of Roswell, New Mexico. It was about a wife passionately and deeply in love with her husband.  
  
Max pulled away and gulped for breath, then leaned over and kissed Liz's forehead, rubbing her back in small circles. "I don't have to let you go, Liz. You can stay here, with me, in my arms, forever. I don't know how I lived four years without this."  
  
"My heart and soul were always here with you. It just took my body four years to catch up. But you're right. You're stuck with me. Forever."  
  
Liz's breath caught in her throat as Max pushed her an arm's length away and stared into her eyes. She saw on his face a look she hadn't seen since their last night together. She saw the need, the want, the passion, that had always been there for her raging in his eyes. "Let's go home, Liz."  
  
With those four simple words, Liz's world was complete. She had found friends in unlikely places. She'd formed an alliance and a close bond with an enemy from a past life. She'd waged a battle with her demons, and with Max's as well. She'd challenged the memories of a past she'd left behind, a past she'd been forced to give up, and of a future she'd never have to endure to a fierce fight. And she'd won.  
  
Liz knew, though, that she couldn't take her victory for granted. It hadn't been an easy fight. It hadn't been a short fight. It had taken its toll on everyone. There had been tears cried, friendships tested, and hearts broken. But someday, they'd be able to look back and weed out the happy moments. They'd be able to remember the things that had made them smile, not the things that had made them cry. Because despite the heartache, there had been some bright spots. They'd all made lives for themselves, and become people they could be proud of. And it was their experiences that made them all who they had eventually become.  
  
In the end, true love had won out. Everyone was where they were supposed to be.  
  
It had been a rocky journey, and at times she'd wanted to give up. But she never had, knowing somewhere deep inside that she and Max [I]were[/I] meant to be, even if she had refused to admit it to herself for the longest time. The second chance they had been given was all due to Max and his refusal to divorce her. Because she knew that if he hadn't been brave enough to make her come back to Roswell, she never would have been brave enough to have done it.  
  
In the end, this was not only about [I]her[/I], about what [I]she[/I] had won. They had done it together - Max with his faithfulness and hope balancing her stubbornness and determination to do the right thing. And finally, they were back where they belonged.  
  
Together, with a little help from their friends, they had beaten destiny at its own game.  
  
Wherever they lived, however they worked it all out, as long as they did it together - as long as she was with Max - she was home.  
  
The End  
  
(Epilogue to follow) 


	24. Epilogue

uEpilogue/u  
  
IRoswell, New Mexico - Two Years Later/I  
  
Liz frowned slightly as she stood on tip-toes, peering into the cupboard over the stove. "Where the heck is it?" She muttered, dropping back down and looking around the kitchen in exasperation. "How am I supposed to do this properly without the Tabasco?"  
  
Her eyes lit up when she spotted her husband's favorite condiment sitting on the table across the room. She paused to scratch the top of Lou's head as she passed him, picked up the Tabasco and was on her way back to the tray waiting for her on the counter when a light tap on the back door alerted her to the fact that she was no longer alone.  
  
"Tess! Hi!" Liz said, catching sight of her friend through the screen. "What are you doing here?" She glanced at the clock. "It's eight o'clock in the morning!"  
  
"I'm opening the Museum for Max this morning. I came by for the key," Tess explained, coming in and sitting down at the table. She eyed the tray, amused. "Breakfast in bed?"  
  
Liz was still staring at her in surprise though and didn't answer, because it was pretty obvious after all. "IYou're/I opening the Center? Why?"  
  
"Anniversary present," Tess replied. She grinned. "Happy anniversary by the way."  
  
Liz smiled. "Thanks! That's so nice!"  
  
"Well, it's the least I can do," Tess shrugged, "Being as I wasn't around for the wedding."  
  
Liz sat down next to her. "But you were there for the really important ceremony," she reminded her. "Without you, we wouldn't be celebrating this anniversary at all."  
  
Tess smiled. "It was my pleasure."  
  
They were, of course, referring to the bonding ceremony that Tess had presided over for she and Max in the granolith chamber just over a year ago.  
  
It had taken Max and Liz almost a year of getting to know each other again, of building their new life together in Roswell and New York and of just plain falling back in love, before they had decided that they were ready to try for a child. It had seemed right somehow that Tess bless their union, that she run the ceremony, although it could have been any member of the "royal party" according to the Destiny Book. Neither Michael, nor Isabel had minded though. Tess had played such a large role in bringing Max and Liz back together, it had just seemed to be how things were supposed to play out.  
  
Liz could look back on the ceremony now with a smile. For the past few months the memory had started to become bittersweet, but now that she knew what she knew.It was altogether a happy recollection.  
  
I "I, Ava of Antar, do solemnly acknowledge the acceptance of this woman by our people."  
  
Liz felt a shiver run down her spine at the seriousness with which Tess was taking the ceremony. Her voice was more stern than Liz had ever heard it and her expression was actually a little scary, with the flashing lights of the granolith shadowing it strangely.  
  
"She is the chosen of our king." Tess looked directly at her and Liz wondered what she had been frightened of. Her friend's blue eyes were entirely accepting and shining with her joy for them both. "And so she is the chosen of us all."  
  
The ceremony had been outlined in the Destiny Book and, yet, none of them had any idea how they were supposed to know if it had worked. But, as Tess said these last words, the granolith sprang to life, bathing Liz and Max in an otherworldly glow, where they stood together, holding hands. Liz heard Maria gasp in a corner of her mind, the rest of their friends having gathered together on the far side of the chamber to witness the ceremony, but she was too focused on what was happening to her body to really register it.  
  
"May she bear our future ruler with my - and, thus, the planet's - blessing."  
  
It was then that Liz understood why Tess had instructed her to design some sort of top that showed off her abdomen. Because, looking down at her bare stomach, she felt tears gather in her eyes.  
  
A silver handprint shone on her skin, exactly where it had appeared almost ten years ago when Max had healed her on the floor of the Crashdown.  
  
The day he had chosen her as his mate, his wife, his queen - the mother of his children. The day he had marked her as his forever.  
  
The day he had become hers alone.  
  
"Antar's blessings be upon you both."  
  
Liz heard Tess's final words only distantly as Max lowered his head, his dark eyes shining. She raised her chin and met his lips, her joy so immense, she could not express it to him in any other way./I  
  
"It will happen Liz," Tess was saying now.  
  
Liz blinked, became aware of Tess's hand on hers, in an attempt to comfort her. Liz abruptly realized that Tess thought that she had become distant because she was reflecting on the fact that she hadn't become pregnant yet - that it had been more than a year and there was still no baby in sight.  
  
Or so Tess believed.  
  
She smiled slightly, wished that she could tell her friend the news.  
  
But Max didn't even know. He had to be the first. In fact, he didn't even know she was back from her short trip to New York to check up on things. Although he usually came with her, he hadn't this time being as tourist season was now in full swing and he was needed at the UFO Centre. She had spent the night in a motel in Albuquerque, it having been too late to drive back. She had been up early, on the road home to tell her husband exactly what her doctor in New York had confirmed.  
  
She was pregnant.  
  
"I mean, you've been away a lot," Tess was saying sympathetically. "Now that you and Max have decided to focus solely on this for the next six months, it Iwill/I happen. I can Ifeel/I it."  
  
Tess was right. Likely one of the reasons it had taken so long was that she and Max had been apart some of the time. It was hard work running two businesses, but EE Designs was finally running smoothly without her - or, at least, she had finally accepted that it was. It was difficult to realize that maybe she hadn't been the business brains behind her company at all. Serena was doing a great job and Liz was actually beginning to recognize that she didn't have to have her finger in every pot.  
  
She kind of liked the idea of just focusing on designing for a while. It was what she had told Serena she was staying in Roswell to do - like she needed the pressure of all her co-workers knowing that she was trying to get pregnant! - but the sheer irony was, none of it had been necessary.  
  
When she had least expected it, it had happened.  
  
"Are you having premonitions now too?" She asked Tess teasingly. "Is that why you're so sure?"  
  
Tess squeezed her hand, grinned again. "Hey! Not necessary. It's destiny, remember?"  
  
But Liz barely heard her. It was as though the mention of the word "premonition" had made fate decide that perhaps it was time they had a little foreknowledge again.  
  
It had been a while since Liz had received a flash of the future. The last time had been just over a year ago, on the night of the bonding. She and Max had come back to their little house and had made love. Later, as she was lying contentedly in his arms, it had happened, more peacefully than any premonition before.  
  
She had dreamt about Max holding their little boy in his arms. And, so, in spite of her complete willingness and eagerness to get pregnant, she had remained confident and certain that it would happen. When they were ready, their child would come.  
  
There had been no flashes since.  
  
Until now.  
  
She clutched at Tess's hand, focused on what she was being shown, trying to understand it.  
  
And, when she did, she smiled.  
  
"Liz?" Tess asked. "Are you okay?"  
  
She could hear the concern in her friend's voice.  
  
"I'm fine," Liz replied. "Everything's going to be fine."  
  
"Well, okay then," Tess said, sounding uncertain.  
  
Liz opened her eyes and smiled at the woman who had been her nemesis, her enemy, her nightmare. She smiled at the woman who was now her friend.  
  
And she just couldn't help it. She had to know. Because she was completely aware of how happy what she had just seen was going to make both Kyle and Tess.  
  
"Tess, did you know that you're going to have a baby?"  
  
***  
  
Liz placed the tray gently on the bed-side table and then perched on the bed, reaching out to push a lock of Max's hair out of his eyes. Her husband was still deeply asleep, obviously not even having heard her come in.  
  
IGood thing Lou is such a great watch-dog,/I Liz thought ruefully. "You'd sleep through the end of the world," she murmured.  
  
She could say it lightly now, knowing deep in her heart, thanks to what that premonition from Tess had shown her, that the end of the world was never going to come. At least not in their lifetime.  
  
Liz had told Tess - leaving out the part that she too was pregnant of course - what she had seen. That Tess's daughter - the one she carried in her womb right now - was going to play a role in the saving of it. She had watched the blonde's eyes widen with surprise, flash a moment of trepidation, before a quiet joy had started to emanate from her expression.  
  
"I." Tess had trailed off, unable to voice her happiness.  
  
"You knew?" Liz asked.  
  
"I suspected," Tess replied. She frowned suddenly, as though something had just occurred to her. "Liz, I'm sorry!"  
  
"About what?" Liz demanded. "What does this have to do with me?"  
  
Even as she said it though, she felt a little guilty for stretching the truth. Because Tess's pregnancy Idid/I have something to do with her. At least it would someday. But they couldn't know. A future like the one she had just seen - it did not need to be known beforehand. They all deserved to experience the happiness as it came.  
  
And it was coming. For them all.  
  
"That I'm." Tess gestured helplessly at her abdomen, then started to fidget with her wedding ring nervously. "We weren't even trying."  
  
"It's what's meant to be," Liz had replied, reaching out to hug her friend, wishing she could tell Tess the reason why she wasn't upset. But Max was first.  
  
Max was always first.  
  
"It will all work out Tess. You have no reason to be sorry. Be Ihappy./I"  
  
Tess had left soon after, still in a slight daze, but quite obviously already plotting how she was going to tell her husband the good news.  
  
So now she sat, gazing down at her husband, about to tell him the news she had waited five years to be able to share, still unable to stop smiling.  
  
Liz Parker Evans had a feeling that she would be unable to stop smiling for a very long time.  
  
She would tell Max everything of course. He trusted her not to keep things from him and she never would again. Never. Even if it was good news. He always knew, the instant she did. It was how she had regained his trust and she was not going to change her ways now.  
  
Keeping secrets had driven them apart once. She would never allow it again. Even if it was a good secret.  
  
She slipped off her shoes and climbed under the duvet fully dressed, wanting to be as close to him as possible when she told him. She wanted to feel his heart stop the way it did when he was surprised, wanted to feel it jump for joy against her hand as it started pounding again.  
  
But, first, she had to wake him up.  
  
Wrapping her arms around his warmth, she pulled herself against him until her mouth was only a breath away from his ear. "Good morning Daddy."  
  
Liz felt him shift against her, felt the slight change in the air as he slowly drifted back to awareness. "Liz?" He murmured, pulling her more tightly against him as he started to understand that she was in bed with him.  
  
"It's me."  
  
She felt the exact instant when what she had whispered to him came back to him. She smiled as his heart stopped and then started to thunder against her own. He understood.  
  
And, yet, he still asked. Max pulled back slightly to meet her eyes. "Did you.What did you say?"  
  
"I said good morning Daddy," Liz replied. She could feel tears gathering, kissed his palm as he reached up to use his thumbs to brush them away.  
  
His smile was sleepy and, yet, not even that could contain his joy and she confirmed what he already knew. "I love you."  
  
"I love you too."  
  
And, really, there was nothing else to say, Liz reflected as he kissed her thoroughly.  
  
But, of course, there was, really.  
  
She pulled back, smiling. "There's one more thing."  
  
Max's expression was becoming slightly befuddled as though the full import of what she had just told him was only starting to become clear to him. "What?" He asked, distracted.  
  
"Tess is pregnant too."  
  
He blinked. "She is? How do you know?"  
  
"I got a flash. She was here."  
  
"That's great!" Max said. "They must be happy."  
  
"Well, Kyle doesn't know yet, so don't spill the beans until Tess can tell him."  
  
"Okay," Max agreed, pulling her more tightly against his chest.  
  
Liz sighed with contentment, exactly where she wanted to be. Home.  
  
And, yet, she still had one more thing to tell him. Liz grinned mischievously to herself, realized that the way he was holding her provided perfect access to his ear again.  
  
It was fate. Destiny. And she had promised him that she would never again keep anything from him. She wasn't going to start now. That would be Iwrong./I  
  
Plus, this way she was giving him at least twenty-five years to prepare himself.  
  
She turned her head slightly so that she could see the expression on his face when she told him.  
  
"There's just Ione/I more little teeny thing Max."  
  
His brows drew together slightly, but he seemed ready to listen so.  
  
"How do you feel about having Kyle Valenti as your in-law?"  
  
The End (For real this time) 


End file.
